A/N : I didn't think I would write a second chapter, but I just couldn't leave things hanging like that.
For a bit of context, in this story Ren has moved back in with Sojiro for his third year of high school.
"Why did you let me die?"
Ren jerked awake, the nightmares that had been plaguing his mind dissipating as he returned to reality. But the fear still encompassed him, and it felt every bit as real as it had while he was asleep.
Morgana opened his eyes, and stretched, yawning as he did so. "You're awake already? You've got another hour before you're supposed to be up…."
"I know, Morgana. I couldn't stay asleep." Ren sighed and pulled back the sheets, standing up and pulling off his pajama shirt.
"You're having nightmares again, aren't you?" Morgana saw Ren's eyes widen slightly, and he knew that he was right.
"Yes…..." Ren admitted quietly, finishing getting dressed for school. "I can't help it, Morgana. No matter how hard I try, they just keep coming back. I keep telling myself that it's not my fault, like you told me to do, but I just can't seem to believe it."
"Ren…..it's not your fault. And I'll keep telling you that until you believe it." Morgana stood and followed Ren to the stairs, hopping into Ren's bag and quieting down as Ren descended into the Leblanc cafe.
As Ren ate his usual breakfast of curry and coffee, Sojiro watched the raven haired teen. "You OK?" He asked finally after several minutes of silence.
"Hmm?" Ren paused his eating, placing his spoon down in the bowl of curry. "I'm fine. Just… a little per-occupied." He wasn't lying, but wasn't telling the truth either. He was preoccupied, but he was not fine."
Sojiro sighed, and placed a cup of coffee for himself down on the counter. "Kid, I've lived longer than you. A word of advice, you're not a very good liar. You can't fool me. I know you've been through a lot lately. What's on your mind?"
Ren glanced down towards the counter, finding it suddenly hard to look Sojiro in the eye. Some emotion that Ren couldn't quite name welled up in his chest. Shame, perhaps? "I've just been having some nightmares is all. I'm fine, really."
"Nightmares?" Sojiro questioned, concern coloring his voice. Over the time that Ren had stayed at Leblanc, he had come to care for the boy as if he was part of his own family. Although he didn't always show it, he was nowhere near as rough or dismissive as he had once been. And now was one of those rare moments where he was especially attentive and gentle.
"Yeah. It's not that big a deal. I can handle it. I've been through worse." Ren gripped his mug of coffee, the warm liquid coating his throat, suppressing the lump that had begun to form from holding back tears.
"I don't doubt it. From what you've told me, I know you've seen some crazy stuff." Sojiro crossed his arms, "But that doesn't mean that you need to handle this on your own. If you need to talk to someone, I can try to find a counselor-"
"-No!" Ren cut him off quickly, but he immediately felt bad, as Sojiro seemed to be upset by his outburst. Trying to rectify the situation, Ren continued in a calmer manner, "I can't talk to a counselor about this. I can work through it on my own, I promise."
Sojiro sighed again, and shrugged lightly. "Whatever you say. But if this keeps up, I will talk to a counselor for you, whether you want me to or not, got it?"
Ren nodded mutely, finishing his curry in quick bites. "I understand." He mumbled quietly, grabbing his bag from the seat next to him, and hurrying out the door.
Once Ren made his way to school, he saw Ann and Ryuji waiting for him in the hall. Ryuji took one look at him and yelled, "Hey dude! You don't look so good!"
"Is it that obvious?" Ren looked to Ann for confirmation, who nodded in agreement.
"Yeah! You look like you've been sleep deprived! You been up all night studying or something?" Ryuji slung his arm over Ren's shoulder, and laughed a little. "Or maybe playing video games?"
"No, I haven't been playing video games." Ren denied the guess, moving Ryuji's arm to be able to walk down the hall to his classroom.
Ann followed close behind, and when they were finished talking, she asked, "So then why do you look so worn out?"
"It's nothing, I'm fine." Ren tried to assure Ann, although he could tell she wasn't convinced.
"Ren, we've been through a lot together. I know you better than this. If you can't talk about it here, we'll meet together in our usual spot after school, alright?" She stepped into their shared classroom, and took her seat, which was right in front of his.
"That's really not necessary." Ren protested, although he was prevented from saying anything further by their teacher arriving. During the following classes, Ren found his mind wandering to his nightmares, and every time he remembered the betrayal that he had felt from the voice calling out to him.
After school, Ann practically dragged Ren to their usual meeting spot, and to Ren's dismay, she had gathered everyone, Ryuji, Makoto, and Haru, and even Futaba.
"Now, spill it. What's bothering you?"
Ren glanced between his friends, and shook his head. "Like I said before, Ann, I'm fine. There's nothing bothering me."
Morgana hopped out of Ren's bag, and sat on a bench next to him. "Ren….." He nudged him gently with one paw, and his eyes shined with worry.
Makoto watched the exchange, and intervened. "Ren, as the former student council president, and as your friend, I can't just let you brush it off like that. If there's an issue that's bothering you, please, talk to us about it."
"They can't help you, you know." The voice whispered, "It's your fault, not theirs."
Ren shook his head, trying desperately to ignore what he had just heard. "Makoto, really, I'm fine." He insisted, hoping it would be enough to make her back off.
But then, someone else stepped up to the plate. Futaba sat down on the other side of Ren, and leaned against his shoulder. "Ren…..what's wrong?"
Ren felt the lump from before rising in his throat once again. Futaba was the one that the Phantom Thieves had helped to overcome her psychiatric issues, so to hear her ask him what was wrong, really hit hard. "I'm….I'm fine." He mumbled, but it was less forceful than before.
"Ren-ren!" Ryuji spoke up, exasperated by the silent treatment his best friend was giving. "C'mon, can't you tell us what's bothering you?"
Finally, from all the pressure, Ren caved. "I've just been having nightmares, alright?" He admitted, and he could have sworn he saw Morgana smile as he said it.
He saw everyone frown in response, but Makoto was the first to speak. "That's not good. If you want, I can get you a recommendation for our school counselor-"
"-I'm fine, Makoto. They'll go away, and I'll be fine." Ren attempted to brush her off, just as he had with Sojiro earlier.
Makoto's frown deepened, and she crossed her arms. "That's not a very good mindset. I'm not saying that things can't go away on their own, but from the looks of things, this has been going on for a while, hasn't it?"
Ren nodded in defeat, dropping his hands onto his lap. "A couple weeks now..." He muttered, waiting in anticipation for the startled reaction he knew would be coming.
"Ren!" Everyone chorused at once, "A few weeks?!"
Ren could only listen as everyone began to talk over each other, both to him, and about him. But Futaba's voice was the one he listened to above everyone else. "Ren….please get help." Her voice was soft, pleading. She pushed away long enough to look him in the eye.
Ren felt like his heart had stopped. For Futaba, the one who had shut herself in and refused help for the longest of times, to now be the one asking him to get help, was really hard to ignore. "I'll… I'll try, Futaba. But it's not something I really want to talk about."
Futaba smiled lightly, and leaned against his shoulder again. "I just want you to be happy." She whispered, giving him a quick hug.
Once the commotion around him had settled down, Ren stood, and sighed. "Thanks for being concerned about me, everyone. I promise I'll be fine, so don't worry, OK?"
Everyone looked hesitant to agree, but after a few moments, there was a chorus of, "if you need anything, just text or call" and, "We're always there if you need us."
Finally on his own, save for Morgana, Ren sat back down, burying his face in his hands. Fighting off the nightmares had been exhausting enough on its own, but to add the stress of assuring his friends that he was fine made it nearly unbearable.
"Ren…..." Morgana hated seeing him like this, so broken and alone. It made him feel useless, just as he had felt so often in the past.
"I'm fine, Morgana. Let's just go home."
A/N:This is most likely going to have a few more chapters, depending on how much inspiration I get. I'm not sure yet if I want it to end on a good note or a bad one.