Title: Church on Sunday

Summary: Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

Chapter two: If I Could go Back in Time

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

Marissa stood outside the younger Cohen's door, knocking on it furiously. The wind whipped her hair around her face, and she could feel the cold rain start to fall on her head, come on Summer, answer the door. She glanced back at her car where Kira and Tyler sat sleeping without a care in the world.

She let her mind wander but her chain of thoughts were broken with a confused, sleepy voice calling out into the dark night.

"Coop? That you?"

Marissa turned around to face her best friend and managed to choke out four words, "Ryan cheated on me." She watched Summer's face go from confused to horrified in the matter of a second, "Marissa, where are the kids?"

She pointed a shaking finger towards her car and let out a huge sob. She sank to the steps where she put her head in her hands. She was unaware that Summer had gone out to the car and grabbed the kids until she heard a little, "Mommy?" come from her daughter's mouth.

She pulled her head up to see a frightened little girl staring at her full of concern, "Mommy, don't cry mommy pwease." But hearing her daughter telling her to stop only made her cry harder.

"Come on you two lets get you inside." Summer's reached for Kira and Tyler's. Marissa hauled herself up and followed Summer, her legs weak and shaking the whole way. "Marissa you can take the room at the end of the hallway, I'll put the kids to bed." Marissa gave a slight nod of her head and walked down the hall and opened the door and sat down on the blue bedspread, and buried her head in her hands, and cried.

Marissa's P.O.V.

How could he? How the hell could he doe this to me? Last year at this time we were a happy, loving family, how could one year make such a huge impact.

I know that I have not been the most supporting wife, but he didn't have to go off and do this to me. It seems that ever since Kira's first birthday party we have steadily grown further and further apart with each passing day. I had a feeling that it would end with a divorce, why can't he get it.

My biggest fear is the kids, how could he do this to them? What am I supposed to tell them, hey guys your daddy is two timing pig, and we are getting a divorce. That would really go over smoothly. When did life start to get so hard? Why can't it just go back to how it was in high school?

We were so happy in high school, it was just the four of us, Seth, Summer, Ryan, and me. Collage was good too, I mean Seth and Summer got married in their second year and Ryan and I tied the knot three years later. We never had the idea in our heads that it would end like this. I can taste the saltiness of my tears and they fall down from my eyes and run over my lips.

I want to go back, back to the beginning of our problems. This time I would talk about it with Ryan, I wouldn't keep it all locked up inside. Please, let me go back in time, please. I need to make this right with Ryan. I won't be able to go on without him.

Ryan sat, still slumped up against the door, waiting for Marissa to walk balk in so that he could apologize and life could go back to normal. Everything could be how it used to be.

He knew that he was extremely stupid, how did he ever let that happen. How did he let Samantha kiss him? Why didn't he pull away the first time? All Ryan had now was memories and questions. Questions, which may never be answered.

He ruined it for himself. He had a loving wife, and two beautiful children. How did he just throw it all away? He cried hard that night, Ryan never cried, but tonight the tears had freely flown since the moment Marissa walked out of that door.

A million questions were running through his head, but the one that stood out the most was why. Why did he do this? And why did that happen? But he knew that sitting against the door they would never get answered.

He wanted to phone Seth, but he would have to risk Summer answering the phone, and that would not go over well seeing as Marissa was her best friend and all. But trying wouldn't hurt would it?

Ring Ring

"Hello?"

Shit, Summer answered the phone, "Hi Summer" he mumbled weakly into the phone.

"What the hell do you want Ryan?"

"I want to talk to Marissa."

"Well, I really don't think that she wants to talk to you. Don't call back, she'll call you when she's ready."

"But, I really ne—"the line went dead. He expected that to happen, just he didn't thing that he would fell so bad after that.

After the phone call was made he whispered quietly to himself, "It really happened. It wasn't just a dream. God, what am I going to do?"

So he knew that nothing would be normal anymore, but he really didn't think that his marriage would end in divorce.

Ryan's P.O.V.

I know, I know. I really screwed things up this time. God I'm such an idiot.

So I guess this is it. This is real. I wish so badly that I could take it all back. I really mean it, I don't know why the hell I did what I did.

It hurts so badly. Marissa took everything that mattered in my life, my kids and herself. Everything in my life is screwed now.

I wish so badly that I could take back the things that I said, the things that I did. I can't believe that I actually cheated on Marissa.

If I could go back in time, I would change everything that I did. I would have talked to Marissa when things started to go bad. I would have. If I could just go back in time.

So, should I continue?