Like how corny I make the chapter titles? This is just me imitating the names of the fansubbed episodes because I can. :P

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PART 2: Hello, Uncle Gaara! Welcome to My Dread!!

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"Yo, Temari," said Kankuro after three knocks, and though he wasn't expecting an answer he still would have liked one all the same. "I'm coming in, all right."

Temari was so silent that, if he couldn't sense a small chakra signal flicker on the other side of the door, he'd think she weren't in, but there she was. The woman was moping in her favorite fashion, flash flying through paperwork so she could get more until she'd done so much that her thoughts resembled that of her whirlwind attacks, and sometimes she'd get herself blissfully smashed afterward. He expected she wouldn't go that far, what with a kid on the way. It was general knowledge that a miscarriage could happen in the beginning, and that those could be emotionally scarring, even deadly. Seeing as she was the smart one, she must have known that better than he did, thus it was unlikely she'd risk drinking.

Though that didn't stop her from wearing an expression so grim you'd think the world were coming to an end. If that's the way she chose to take it then he wouldn't bother congratulating her just yet. After all, getting knocked up was kind of stupid on her part, since she obviously hadn't planned on it. That's the problem with Kunoichi these days, he could hear two random senior Jounin grumble in the back of his mind. Temari was the last Kunoichi he'd ever imagined... well, oh boy. From the looks of things, she thought the same thing. Time to stop laughing and start being all supportive and stuff. What else could he do?

He slammed a hand down on her pile of papers, and that piercing look she shot up at him did nothing to bat him off. Gaara was at least ten times scarier back in the day. She'd have to do better.

"Chill out, sis. NOW you're overexerting yourself," said Kankuro, and in one clean swipe he sent those papers flying across the desk and onto the floor. She was going to be pissed beyond belief about that, especially later when she had to straighten it all out, but that didn't matter right now. There were some things that were worth risking his hide over.

"Mind your own business," said Temari, now standing at eye-level with him and ready to be as defiant as a sandstorm that had no plans of letting up. Kankuro lifted his hand from the edge of her desk and grasped her left shoulder, giving it a squeeze and resisting the urge to shake some sense into her. Instead of thinking to shrug it off, all she did was glare at him. Good, he'd live.

"You're being ridiculous right now, Temari. Haven't you had enough time to let it sink in?"

Indeed, he gave her four hours of alone time since her departure from the medical ward. That was more than enough time to let her hide from reality. He still couldn't swallow it, though. Temari. Pregnant. The hell?

Kankuro never anticipated being an uncle in this lifetime, given who his siblings were, so it was a surprise. He chose to stick it under the category of Good Things in the end, just like the doctors had. After all, much as he despised and loathed kids, he could be around to teach the little brat not to be a brat. Hell, maybe the br-kid would take an interest in puppets, and grow up to be as awesome as his favorite uncle. That wouldn't be so bad, now that he thought about it.

Someone, though, had to get the mother of said br-child thinking about it herself. Seeing as he was the only someone who was long used to her temper and bad habits, he was the one stuck doing it. Damn. But hey, he'd come this far and he was still in one piece.

"Temari?"

She flopped back down in her seat, buried her face in her hands, took a deep breath, and slammed her fists down on the oak desk, causing it to crack halfway across toward him. Oh well, her birthday wasn't too far off and he could afford to import a new one for her by that time if there weren't any spares (those spares were usually saved up for Gaara, though, short temper he sometimes still had.) Speaking of which, they were gonna have to tell Gaara eventually, weren't they? And now that his mind was wandering to other bodies outside of Temari, his oncoming nephew, and himself, it finally occurred to him that there was father involved, wasn't there?

"This wasn't supposed to happen. We were always so careful. How-" she rambled, looking confused, scornful, maybe a little regretful.

"We?" He hadn't known a soul in Suna bold enough to make any advances toward Temari, let alone sleep with her! After all, she was THE Kazekage's a.k.a. Sabaku no Gaara's sister, which carried more weight than the Wind Country's highest mountain. That'd be too awkward, not to mention 'life-threatening' from a general point of view. She never seemed to have a problem with that, so he never imagined her having a love life, or even just a sex life.

"I don't know when, or even how it started, actually," she went on, choosing more to speak out loud to herself rather than him, which was just dandy. Whatever gave a curious little brother answers.

"How what started?"

"How... " she paused, choosing her words carefully so not to place herself in danger of appearing a damn fool, which she was, but Kankuro loved her anyway. Unspoken law of siblinghood and all. "... he's such whiny, lethargic little prick, I almost can't stand to see him. But he was better when-"

Suddenly too aware of the audience of one, Temari put her verbal thoughts on hold and flinched at Kankuro's gaze. She generally wasn't a blusher, as she generally wasn't your average girl, but when that small strip of red burned across the bridge of her nose, that spoke many more volumes than her broken thoughts. Okay, she had sex. The results made that painfully clear. That part could have gone completely unsaid.

Kankuro wanted her to answer the real question burning on the tip of his brain.

"Who's the father, Temari?"

Her answer came as though she herself were reluctant to believe it, or just didn't want to believe it, which also worked.

"Nara Shikamaru."

Well, now. Kankuro was right in his assertion that, whoever the father was, it couldn't have been from Suna. Now that she mentioned it, he felt like Shikamaru should have been his first guess, though that name didn't even cross his mind once today. He was too busy getting "Temari is pregnant" registered before he could go down the pathetic list of possible fathers. Seems she saved him the trouble. In fact, now that he thought about it, Shikamaru's name was the only one on the list, and probably would have been even if she hadn't said so herself. After all, when coming back from Konoha, the name "Shikamaru" would would pass from her lips at least once, be it business-related matters, or complaints, both were interchangeable. It never occurred to him that they were attracted to one another, let alone slept with one another, but now that she said it, it made way too much sense.

Still, given what he knew of the guy on his own, Kankuro really couldn't stomach his attitude anymore than Temari could. He was lazy, a whiner, a quitter, and apparently he'd taken up smoking recently. How attractive. A Jounin-level Chuunin was also nothing to be admired. If he were a Suna baby he'd get that bloody lethargy beaten out of him quicker than he could say 'oh shit'. He was the only guy Kankuro'd ever known Temari to be attracted to (bar that one 'I'd tap that' gawk at the Uchiha brat waaay back when.) She sure had lousy taste.

"Are you serious?" he asked, though he didn't need to. It was more than apparent that Temari wasn't in a joking mood right now. "What the fuck, Temari? You let yourself get knocked up by THAT bum? You insane?!"

"No kidding," she grumbled while rubbing her temples, perhaps feeling another killer headache on the way.

"Your taste in guys really sucks. Seriously, Tem. I know you're as attractive as Shukaku with a head cold, but even you can do better."

"Well, Kankuro," she started, her rising tone suggesting that she hadn't taken too kindly to that swipe at her appearance. "Since your taste in guys is so great, why not give me some pointers, huh?"

Now that was just cold.

He supposed Shikamaru couldn't be so bad. After all, Temari wouldn't bother with someone who was a complete waste of space on principle. Maybe he'd get to know Shikamaru first before he started hating him, you know, like normal in-laws did.

"Point taken, and I was only kidding about the head cold bit, okay. Calm down before you start frothing at the mouth."

She threw the first thing she could find at him, which was a book, a thick book, and it hurt, a lot, and he deserved it. Now that all that was out of their systems-

"When do you plan on telling him?" asked Kankuro, the situation becoming serious again. After all, it wouldn't look good to have Temari suddenly knocked up without the True Father to pin it on. They lived in a village of suspicious old prudes, and since her title was high and mighty, well, she was all but obligated to set a good example. Knowing the father helped. Having him around, better. Marrying him, well, that may have been too much to ask, so he wasn't going to go there.

"Don't know. Maybe never."

"Temari!"

He couldn't believe he was addressing his sister in a chastising tone. Then again, they've never exactly had this problem before, so these kinds of reactions shouldn't have been too far off the mark. Still.

"You've come here to get answers, you got them. You can leave, now," said Temari. Her restraint was already on its last legs. Anymore of this could result in (more) violence, and that could hardly be good for the br-baby. Kankuro took the hint and left. He could bug her even more when she was thinking straight, that was, if she could. He didn't know jack about pregnant women beyond the basics, but he was about to learn, wasn't he?

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"You don't look pregnant," said Gaara, after a few moments of contemplation and scrutinizing. Aside from the doctors, who were threatened a countless amount of times in a countless amount of ways to keep their traps shut about this, Gaara seemed to take it the best out of everyone who knew so far. As in, this didn't come as a surprise to him really (and if it did he hid it well), and he seemed to have no real opinion about this. One could always count on Gaara to be indifferent outside of work and battle.

Temari chose to tell Gaara a month after having found out herself. She wanted to continue to do her work as a Shinobi and, at the chance Gaara suggested all of her missions be cancelled due to her 'delicate' state, she had that month to fall back on in a potential argument. Her bouts of morning sickness had gone down, too, which was both a relief and a contribution to the healthy state of mind she required to make it through this and get used to the idea. She was going to be a mother. Twenty-three years old and she was expecting. Well, that was considered old for mothers around here, especially Kunoichi of Suna, so it wasn't as if she missed out on a Full Life.

It still hung over her head that the father of the child was currently tens and thousands of paces away, sucking on cancer sticks and bitching about something inconsequential. It was no wonder why that Ino chick constantly referred to Temari as 'you poor thing'. Maybe she and Shikamaru had a fling once, ONCE, and Ino proved to have more brains than your average blond by learning from THAT mistake. Temari wished she could have done the same before this happened.

Oh well. No use brooding about it anymore. It was what it was and now she had to deal with it.

"Of course I don't 'look' pregnant, Gaara. It's only been a little over two months," she said, knowing she wasn't going to start showing until at least two more.

"You've been in this state for two months and didn't tell me?"

She didn't think he would've minded. Then again, going back to the idea that he could easily pull the plug on her missions, yeah, maybe she did. After all, especially during this period, she risked a miscarriage on each mission, A-Rank and higher, which was almost every mission she had. It was no different than generally risking her life, seeing as miscarriages could be lethal, and then again, so could being a Shinobi. Way she saw it, though, bringing her 'child' on missions with her would toughen it (or 'he', as Kankuro absolutely insisted) up. Who knows, if it didn't inherit its father's more useless traits it may even have the potential to become the next Kazekage. It fed on her chakra like a little glutton, rendering her more tired and irritable than normal, so it had better be born strong. She had no doubt it would be. Sand Shinobi were always born strong.

"I have my reasons," said Temari, and Gaara's normal expression of indifference sunk into an irritated frown. He didn't like being left out of the loop, but then again, who did? She sighed, "Look, I'm sorry, but it was necessary."

"How so?" It was more of a demand than a question. Shit.

"My life-" she paused, relieved that his frown wasn't sinking any further, but all the same she thought she should be careful. She didn't want him getting the wrong idea. She continued, "-my life as a Shinobi can't end with this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm pregnant. That's what one would consider a 'weakened' state, which I'm sure you know, but I'm not nearly as vulnerable as you think. I needed to prove to myself, as well as you and everyone else, that I don't need to be laying around here waiting to punch this thing out when I can actually be out on the field doing my job. Even in my 'state' I'd like to keep to my element as long as possible."

Gaara seemed to understand what she was getting at. He was no more educated in pregnancy than Kankuro, if even that, but he could understand that a woman who was expecting couldn't keep up to par with her normal daily activities, especially when her stomach expanded out to over three times its normal size. Temari didn't 'look' pregnant, which was probably the only thing about sending her out on missions that didn't bother him at this point. He'd even assigned ANBU body guards to keep watch on his siblings time and again, though they were under the guise of your average Jounin. Under no circumstances did he want his siblings to lose their lives before necessary, even though there was always a risk. Temari and Kankuro had always known but spoke nothing of it. There was always so much left unsaid between Sand Shinobi.

Someone must have reported the subtle signs of weakness she had shown to Gaara: the illness, the exhaustion, being more short with her subordinates than usual. That must have been why Gaara called her in today. If it were up to her, she wouldn't have told him anything about this until she did 'look' pregnant.

"Fair enough," Gaara concluded. "Until it really becomes too much of a burden, and I'll be the one to decide when it does, your missions will remain the same."

She didn't realize she'd been holding her breath until a great sigh of relief exploded from her lungs. If ever there were an urge to reach over and crush her youngest brother into a bear hug, this would be it. She resisted, though; she didn't want to startle him.

"Temari."

"Hmm?"

Suddenly, she could see a hint of reluctance in his eyes, and perhaps his arms were crossed to tightly against his chest. What if...

"Be careful."

... he was just a bit concerned, despite his final decision. This time, Temari did give him a quick hug, awkward as it was. She wasn't the most affectionate person, no, but that didn't mean she couldn't have her urges. At least that reluctant look on Gaara's face melted into a slightly confused one that she could live with, and she could proceed to live her normal daily schedule as long as possible.

"Thank you."

The pregnancy hadn't felt so real to her as it did in that moment. She thought she was going to lose everything, but to have Gaara's reluctant, albeit true support instead was more than a relief, it was a bonus! She had a mission in a few and a board meeting tomorrow, and it was almost as if nothing had changed, except now there was going to be a new addition to the family.

Eh, it wasn't so bad, except she still needed to tell the father. He could wait, though. He was good at that, lazy ass bum he was.

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A/N: There's gonna be a lot of miscommunication in this fic, so have your extinguishers ready! Things will become explosive!

I'm up to Chapter 6 currently and, I was right, it's gonna be the last chapter, bar maybe, MAYBE an Epilogue that involves a smelly bundle of joy crawling around the Kazekage's office. Depends on my mood, really. I'll be updating this fic weekly, just so I have a chance to make necessary corrections on the chapters to keep this fic from going into a downward spiral of Suck like pregnancy fics can do. Eek!

I feel it's necessary to make this warning, seeing as my writing style is developing a life of its own. If you spot a reference to yaoi or something and that bothers you, take it as a joke. I'm always crackin' jokes because I've taken to writing how I think, and hey, I'm a funny person! At least I've been told I am. Anyways, that's why I labeled this a 'Humor' fic, despite the fact that it's going to get pretty serious (especially around Chapters 4 and 5) but in any case, I'm trying to take a light-hearted approach to a very serious thing, and all the same trying to keep these characters IC and things interesting. This isn't an easy kind of fic to write, but it's fun! I hope you all enjoy reading it.