A/N: text like this means its a thought
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Chapter 2: Is this really what i want?

It was a cold night tonight, not the kind of cold that you could get away not wearing a coat with, but chilly cold, so chilly that you were tricked into believing that icicles would form from your nose if you didn't wrap up warm. Despite this, two high school girls trekked down the mainstreet, hand in hand, unphased by the cold as they were both still processing the events of the past hour.

I, I kissed Yui… The thought kept making its way into Ritsu's mind; it was both a welcome thought and an unwelcome thought. Welcome for it was what she had desired ever since her… unpleasantries… with Mio, but unwelcome for fear of consequences. I guess this means I'm over Mio, I guess Ritsu thought to herself. Her eyes glanced up and looked into Yui's, which were already looking at her. Yui had a mixture of joy and obliviousness on her face, Ritsu wished she could mirror her emotions, but sadly she couldn't with the negative thoughts plaguing her mind.

"So, you wanna head over to that café over there? Maybe we can talk about some… *ahem* things that happened earlier." Ritsu said. When Yui replied to her with a look of confusion she simply gestured towards her hand, which was still being firmly held by Yui's.

A look of understanding crept its way onto Yui's face. "Ah, okay Rit-chan." Yui replied. Yui began to take the lead, to the point where she was almost pulling Ritsu along. I guess she wants to sort this out more than I do Ritsu thought. Had she only thought about Yui in the way that she had earlier because she was on the rebound? Was it real love? Once she got over Mio, IF she got over Mio, would she still love Yui? Had she ever loved Yui? Unfortunately these questions continued flooding Ritsu's mind, refusing to give answers to the onslaught of questions. I really need to let her down easy Ritsu's thoughts were interrupted once again by the clang of the bell on the door of the café. Before she knew it she was sitting down on one of the circular tables cafes so often had. She crossed her legs in an attempt to get comfortable, but her body position wasn't what was causing her uncomfortability.

"So Rit-chan, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Yui nonchalountly asked, completely oblivious to Ritsu's uneasiness. Ritsu began formulating a sentence in her head that would explain her actions earlier. "Look Yui I think I was a little too quick to-"

"Rit-chan!"

"Huh?"

"I know you did what you did out of impulse, we all do. But I've loved you for years, and I'm not gonna ever let you go!" Yui exclaimed, much to the displeasure of Ritsu, her shouting caused over the shoulder glances from the couple in front of them. A look of displease resonated off the man's face, while his girlfriend simply looked away, seemingly embarrassed by her boyfriend's distaste in same sex relationships. The look on the man's face brought back painful memories of the prejudice she and Mio had faced when… Well now isn't the time to be thinking about the past, she has to let Yui down, if she doesn't do it now the others will most likely find out.

Ritsu stared into space infront of her, which prompted Yui to try and understand what was on her mind. "Rit-chan?" Ritsu stirred then jumped at being spoken to that time. Once again she realised she'd lost herself in her own thoughts, at this point the amount of times this had happened it had become quite concerning. "Sorry Yui, I was just thinking… I…Uh…" Dammit she couldn't keep letting herself do this. She was Ritsu Tainaka, she didn't stammer, she wasn't embarrassed, she was brave and strong! But alas she was none of those things at this very moment, despite how much she wanted to be.

"Yui I really think we shouldn't rush this, I know its hypocritical coming from me, but I-"

"RIT-CHA-"

"STOP GODDAMN INTERUPTING ME!"

Yui fell silent; she stared at the empty plate infront of her, her pupils dared not to make contact with Ritsu's, for fear that the drummers pupils alone will tear a hole through her very being. Ritsu eventually built up the courage to continue with what she was saying after her outburst. "Look, I haven't had a good time with Mio recently, I'm scared that I only did what I did with you in the music room because I'm lonely. I don't want to hurt you Yui." Ritsu exhaled. Her face was laced with pain and guilt; Pain from the memories that her actions reminded her of, Guilt for what she'd done to her innocent friend. Eventually she looked up at Yui. She expected anger, hatred and disgust to greet her, but instead she saw… sadness?

"Rit-chan" Yui said slowly, trying her best to sound soothing despite the situation she was in. "I know what you and Mio chan went through." Ritsu perked up, a look of disbelief on her face, who could've possibly told the others? Or who even knew for that matter? "Mugi-chan told me." well that doesn't surprise me when I think about it Ritsu thought, she looked up at Yui patiently, waiting for the girl to continue. Eventually she did.

"Rit-chan I know I hang off Azu-nyan a lot, but I've always thought you were cuter, I just knew you and Mio-chan wanted to make babies tog-"

"I never wanted to do that with her!" Ritsu exclaimed, the looks from others in the café went unnoticed by the drummer. Yui realised she had crossed a line, and scolded herself mentally for it. What was that thing Ui had always told her when she was sad…

"I'm always going to be here for you Rit-chan" Yui quietly said, she wanted to leave, to apologise for going too far. But despite these feelings, she still sat quietly in her chair, waiting to see if her words had the desired effect on the drummer opposite her. "I'm sorry Yui." Ritsu whispered, almost under her breath. Suddenly realising that she had backed down, she took flight, out of the door of the café, barely hearing the bell as its chimes went unnoticed by her ears. She had failed. Shed failed Mio and now shed failed Yui. Tears threatened to well up in her eyes; she didn't fight the sensation to cry, so she let them freely fall down her cheeks.

It wasn't until Ritsu realised she was lost that she stopped. She found herself in an unfamiliar place, a quick glance around told her all she needed to know: She was lost. Faces looked at her from every which way, she didn't recognise a single one. She was small, she was irrelevant in this place, she was but a mere roadblock for passer-by's to manoeuvre around so they could continue their journey to their place to be. She wanted someone to come and save her, to guide her back to where she was meant to be. She wanted Mio to be that person. But instead someone else came, for better or for worse.

"Rit-chan!" Yui's voice echoed in the distance. Ritsu didn't want to hear Yui's voice. She just wanted Mio. Just Mio. Only Mio. "RIT-CHAN!" Her voice become louder, she was getting closer. Ritsu had since stopped running; she was standing idly in the middle of the high street, much to the inconvenience of those using the high street for passage to their destination. Suddenly a hand grabbed hers, her instinct told her to run, for the person who had caught up to her surely wasn't who shed wanted to. Was it? A quick glance to the hand indicated it wasn't.

"Rit-chan" Yui panted, clearly out of breath from chasing the drummer. "Im sorry Rit-chan. It's just… I always thought we'd make a good baby making team…" Yui looked away as she said it. "Yui, do you know how babies are made?" Ritsu already knew the answer before Yui even said it. "No, but Ui told me it happens when two people love each other a lot, and I love you a lot Rit-chan." Yui beamed, Ritsu still wasn't sold. "By that logic would Azusa have had triplets by now?" Yui searched her mind for an answer as her mind slowly digested the question, eventually she presented an answer. "But I always loved you more Rit-chan, I just never thought you wanted to make babies with me. So I clung onto Azu-Nyan instead." Yui finished.

Ritsu had a decision to make. Could it work with Yui? Was she telling the truth, had Yui always loved her? Could she trust Yui? A squeeze to her hand answered that question for her. Well might aswell give it a shot Ritsu smiled internally, then outwardly towards Yui. It was the first time in a while she had genuinely smiled. Once again both girls walked back home; only this time, Ritsu was sure she was happy.