It's an awful lonely road to walk alone
The past few hours had been the slowest of Octavia's life. So much had happened since they left for Tondc. Hours ago she had expected to be storming Mount Weather, killing the sons of bitches that had dared to touch her friends. That's what Indra had trained her for, that's what she was ready to do. And yet here she was - back at Camp Jaha, sitting on the floor of the mechanic's station with Raven and Wick in silence, her head in her hands as they waited for the news if Clarke Griffin was alive or dead.
From the moment Clarke had been shot, anxiety and stress had gripped her and refused to let go. Every step of the way back to camp, she felt the metaphorical weight on her shoulders growing heavier and heavier, and she feared it would soon crush her completely. It felt as if every second she was holding her breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for Clarke's body to go limp in her arms. Waiting for news that Lincoln, Bellamy, Jasper, Monty and everyone else hadn't made it out alive. Waiting for the moment when she would know that everyone she ever loved was dead and she would be alone, trapped under the floor boards again - only this time there would be no getting out.
It wasn't until they had reached the gates and Clarke was transferred from her to Abby's arms that Octavia felt the smallest ounce of relief. The pain in her chest lessening slightly, the breaths starting to come easier. But she knew they weren't out of the woods yet. No matter how good of a surgeon Abby was, Clarke had been shot hours ago and had lost more blood than Octavia thought possible for a human body to hold. Saving her was going to take a miracle. But hell if anyone was deserving of a miracle it was Clarke Griffin.
After she left Clarke with Abby, Octavia raced into the Ark where Raven and Wick were pacing back and fourth, their faces contorted with anxiety that mirrored Octavia's own. Raven looked up at her shocked.
"Octavia, what are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Indra and the Grounders headed for Mount Weather?" She and Wick stepped closer to her, and at sight of the blood on her gear, Raven's face went pale.
"Who?" she asked.
Octavia took a deep breath and sighed, trying to dispel any of the shakiness from her voice.
"It's Clarke. One of the Mountain bastards shot her when we were still miles from the entrance. We didn't have a choice - I had to bring her back. Abby's with her now."
Raven placed a hand on her shoulder, "Is she.." Raven looked up at the ceiling, closing her eyes for a moment before continuing, "Is she going to be ok?"
"I wish I knew Raven. It's bad - I've never seen so much blood before, not even when Finn was attacked by Lincoln."
At the mention of Finn's name, Octavia noticed Raven's body tense. She scolded herself for being so careless with his name and quickly decided to change the topic. "Have you heard from Bellamy?"
Wick answered this time, "Not since we walked him through disabling the acid fog. But he better call in soon or else.."
At that moment the three turned their heads towards the static and crackling coming from the radio.
"Camp Jaha, this is Bellamy, can you read me?"
Octavia felt tears begin to well up in her eyes at the sound of her brother's voice. He was safe, for now. She could only hope that he would stay that way.
Raven moved towards the table to answer, but Octavia grabbed her arm first.
"Raven wait, you can't tell him that I'm here. You can't tell him what happened to Clarke."
"Octavia we've already lied to him before, he deserves to know!"
"He can't take this Raven. I don't know what's going on between Clarke and my brother, but I know they need each other. And him knowing she's miles away dying isn't going to help anybody. Clarke wouldn't want him distracted." Octavia choked back tears, her voice sounding more panicked than she'd intended, "Bellamy's the key to everything.", she repeated the words Clarke had spoken to her only days ago, "We can't risk losing him. Just tell him that the Grounders are on their way and he better be ready to fight."
Raven nodded and picked up the radio, "Bellamy, it's Raven. Is everything in place?"
"Everything is ready on our end. I've disabled the acid fog and the Grounders here are in position."
"Good. There probably isn't much time left. Lexa and the others have already left Tondc and should be at Mount Weather soon. It's almost over Bellamy."
Octavia could hear her brother breathe a sigh of relief, "Let's hope so… Raven wait before you go…. Octavia?"
Raven looked from the radio at Octavia, her eyebrows raised. "Well, what do I tell him?"
"Just tell him I stayed at Tondc, I don't need him worrying about me along with everything else."
Raven sent her a pitying glance before continuing, "She's at Tondc. The Grounders needed her there after the missile. There's a lot of carnage, but Octavia's taking care of them."
Before Bellamy had a chance to respond, they heard the alarms coming through the radio. Her brother disconnected, and the three were left in silence.
Raven sighed, "Well that's it then. I guess now all we can do is wait."
And that's how Octavia had ended up here. Sitting on the floor doing what she absolutely loathed most, waiting. Raven continued pacing back and forth and Wick was fiddling with a scrap of metal that he kept flicking around. Octavia swore if she heard the incessant noise one more time, she was going to flick him right in the head with it.
Sitting here, she couldn't control her wandering thoughts. She'd spent more than half of her life waiting. Lying beneath the floor boards waiting to see the light again. So much had changed since those days and she wasn't naive Octavia anymore, but sitting here, waiting for her brother to come home, she couldn't help but feel helpless and scared again.
Wick flicked the metal again, and Octavia was about to jump across the room to let him have it when Tiok, the Grounder who had helped her bring back Clarke entered the room. She stood up immediately, "What is it, Tiok?"
"Lincoln and the sky person he calls your brother have returned."
"Thank you", she said, and then ran out of the room. She saw Lincoln first with Bellamy not far behind, the two walking with their horses and talking heatedly with the guards.
"Lincoln! Bellamy!" she yelled out.
Lincoln reached her first, the two crashing into each other with a force that threatened to knock them both off their feet. She wrapped her arms around his neck desperately. Even though it had only been hours since she'd seen him last, the relief at holding him safe in her arms finally made her tears spill over. "Thank God." she whispered into his neck, "Thank God you're home."
He pulled her face from his neck and cradled it between his hands, "I'll always return to you, Octavia, always." She met his lips and poured all the love she had for him into that kiss.
She disentangled herself from Lincoln's arms when she noticed Bellamy in her periphery. His hands were running through his hair and he was averting his gaze from the sight before him.
"Hey big brother", she said opening her arms to him.
He engulfed her in a hug and spun her around like he used to do when they were little kids, "Good to see you, O." he smiled, but Octavia could see that it didn't reach his eyes.
Her brother kept darting his gaze back and forth, searching the surroundings. His face looked weary, almost like he'd aged ten years since she'd seen him last. Mount Weather had changed him, there was no denying that, and she knew that the worry lines etched into his face were for Clarke.
He looked back at Octavia and the look in his eyes broke her heart. "O, is she?"
"She's still alive, Bell. Abby has her in medical. They're doing everything they can."
She felt Lincoln reach down and squeeze her hand hard, grounding her in a way she never knew she needed.
"Go, Bell, it's ok. Go find Clarke."
Octavia barely registered the way Bellamy's shoulders tensed upon hearing Clarke's name because within a second he was gone, racing past them towards the Ark. Octavia breathed in as much air as her lungs could hold and let it all out as she leaned her head against Lincoln's warm chest, his arm wrapping around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him.
She felt his voice vibrate through his chest as he leaned down and asked, "Do you think she's going to live?"
Octavia closed her eyes, "I don't know, Lincoln. I don't know. But for everyone's sake I hope she does. For my brother's sake."
He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "Come on, let's go see how she's doing."
She left the warmth of his arms and laced her hand with his. The two walked back towards the Ark where they would wait for news, however long it took. She hated waiting, but now, with Lincoln at her side, she felt comfort in knowing she wouldn't be in the dark.
She wouldn't be alone.
A/N : I'd originally planned on making this chapter a Bellamy POV, but lately Octavia has been becoming one of my favourite characters on the show and I wanted to get inside her head for a while - hopefully I did her justice. I also wanted to say a big thank you to everyone leaving reviews, they all brought a smile to my face and definitely motivate me to keep going! Again I'm not sure this is the direction I'd originally intended when I first started writing this story, but let me know what you think. And don't worry, the Bellarke is coming guys :)
And again none of the characters are my own (except for Tiok... not sure if that's an acceptable Grounder name, but oh well), they all belong to the CW.