5. Adam/Fiona

The moment after he and Fiona shared their first kiss, she looked down at her lap and asked him, blushing, if that had been his first kiss ever.

He hesitated a moment, looking into her blue eyes, which kept darting from his face to her hands, wringing in her lap. He bit his lip and nodded, the tips of his ears turning red.

Fiona had glanced at him, her expression going from slightly saddened to pleased to outright delighted, her face flushing so Adam finally understood the cliché "tickled pink". She looked so happy in that moment that he clamped his mouth shut and didn't say another word, trying to lose himself in the moment- he had finally kissed Fiona, and all was, temporarily, right with the world.

So there was no way that he needed to sour the occasion with bringing her down.

His first kiss was with a guy. It was before he got to be Adam full-time. He was still trying to be Gracie, and he went to a party with Drew with the "cool kids" at school. They played Spin the Bottle, and he had to make out with Derek Hayslip. The worst thirty seconds of his life, and afterward he actually choked a little bit in the bathroom, blaming it on the cheap beer at the party when really it was just the grossness of having some guy's tongue jammed down his throat. He's never told anyone but Eli that little tidbit of information, and only after copious amounts of alcohol were imbibed by both parties, so he's not entirely sure Eli remembers it or not.

(Either way, he's never mentioned it, something Adam is infinitely grateful for, because had it not been for the liquor he would have carried that one to his grave)

7. Anya/Sav

Their relationship was full of lies. Everybody knew that, including them. He lied to his parents about her, and lied to her about them. He lied to her all the time, leading a double life so he could seem like both the perfect boyfriend and the perfect son in one fell stroke.

But no matter how much the little ones piled up, it had nothing to do with their greatest lie.

When she went to the limo with Sav that night, she knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew that she was lying to him, and he looked into her eyes and believed every word of it. And she did feel bad. But then she thought about all the times he had lied to her- or lied to others about her to cover his own behind. She thought about the girl waiting back inside the building for Sav, his "gorgeous, parent-approved accessory"- and she knew she could never match up. No matter what she did, she couldn't ever make him love her the same way that she loved him. So in that moment of overwhelming bitterness, resentment, and jealousy, she looked him in the eyes and told him the biggest lie: that she was doing this with him because she wanted to show how much she loved him.

Well, that was half-true.

She left out the part where she wanted to take something from him that Farrah would never touch. She wanted to possess him in the most primal way possible.

She regrets hurting Sav as much as she did, lying to him. She regrets not being strong enough to stand up for herself and tell him that she deserved better than his lies. But more than anything, she regrets that she let her own insecurity take over and turn her into someone that she didn't even recognize or like- someone willing to do whatever it took to get what she wanted, regardless of how many people she hurt to get it.

Much later, when time had healed some of the hurt that had avalanched on her after they broke up, she would think about the other big lie she had told him, the one about the baby that never was. Sometimes, she wondered what would have happened if she had actually gotten pregnant from that night (or had been, before the Morning After Pill had kicked in) and then thanked her lucky stars fate had been in her favor.

Because if it hadn't, the most real thing about them- their baby that might have been- would have been created in the moment of her greatest lie: that she had wanted to love him that night simply because she wanted to love him, and nothing more. And what kind of life was that for a child?

8. Sav/Peter

Peter was his best friend. And it wasn't just because Spin had gotten married and dropped off the face of the earth, and Danny had currently moved to New York for college and was no longer around to hang out with him. No, it was just simply that they got each other, and seemed to think along the same wave length- even if Peter's tended to be a little erratic, on occasion. So even though he knew Pete was just across town while he was still stuck at Degrassi, he still missed seeing him in the halls and in the cafeteria, knowing that all of his best friends were just an arm's length instead of a text message away.

But there had been a time- last year, to be specific- when Sav hadn't really wanted Peter around at all, and had thought it preferable if the guy would just leave him alone, already. After Peter's meth scare, all of them- he, Danny, Jane- had all pulled away from Peter, scared and worried about what was happening to their best friend.

In the end, everything had been fine. Peter had managed to turn his life back around, staying clean and sober and getting back in on his friends' good graces.

So Sav couldn't understand what had possessed him to lie when Peter said to him that he was glad Sav had forgiven him for the whole meth episode.

Sav had stopped in his tracks for a moment and stared at Peter for a moment, unsure of what to say. Sure, he had agreed to let Peter back in the band. Sure, he had started hanging out with him again. But did he really forgive his best friend for the mistake he'd made?

Sav knew that people made mistakes and nobody was perfect- hell, he'd be the biggest hypocrite alive if he said he never messed up.

Maybe it had something to do with how sheltered he was bringing up, but he was a fairly trusting guy, and over and over again, it seemed as if people- usually the ones he trusted the most- just took the opportunity to walk over that- Anya, Holly J, and Peter. But something about Peter's downfall to drugs had shaken Sav to his core, and really upset him in a way that he could not (nor would) ever explain to Peter.

When Peter had broached the topic, all Sav could think of was that cold winter night after the Beach Bash, when the four of them- he, Danny, Riley, and Spin- had all piled into Spin's car and headed out on their frantic search for their missing friend. And then they'd found him, watched his face sag in relief as he saw them across the divided highway, had stepped into the middle of the road…

The whine of the oncoming truck, then the earth-shattering blast of a horn, dynamite going off in his ears, drowned out the horrified scream that had ripped through his throat the second he was sure that he was going to watch his best friend die right before his eyes.

They'd reached him, of course, and Peter had been fine. But while they drove back to the loft that night, Peter wrapped in Danny's coat and Riley's arms tightly around him, trying to generate some heat, Sav couldn't even bring himself to look at Peter, and tried to keep himself from dissolving into a puddle on the floor at their feet.

He was more terrified than he had ever been in his life.

So he was pretty relieved when the rest of the band admitted to their wariness of trusting Pete again, and pretty much boycotted his efforts to be friends again until they were sure he was off the stuff for good.

He's proud of Peter for the person he's become, and is still loves hanging out with the guy. But part of him knows that he'll never forget the panic and sheer horror of that night, and he wonders if he'll ever really be able to forgive Peter for putting him through that.

9. Jane/Spinner

Having sex with Declan was…fantastic. It was wild and passionate and exciting and made her blood boil and all those other silly clichés and pop songs about "burning love".

He wasn't in love with her; she knew that much without a doubt. Well, that was alright- she wasn't in it for love. It was the thrill of the deed itself; the fact that someone so completely different from anyone she ever had known wanted her. Not wanted to be with her; just wanted. Craved. Desired.

The bald fact of it made her shiver, a sharp and spicy sensation that was completely different from the well-worn, gentle smiles and kisses Spin gave her.

Right now, she was overwhelmed with emotional and personal commitments. With Declan, there was none of that. They could fuck as passionately as they wanted (and that was the word to use, as crude as it was- fuck. It wasn't making love, not by a long shot, because there would be no strings attached, no emotional consequences or fallout- or so she thought) and there was nothing that held either of them down. Declan was the very antithesis of everything that was overwhelming her in life, and she was a moth drawn to the fire.

And the need to feel that fire was so great that it temporarily drove all thoughts of Spinner out of her mind when she went to Declan's house that night.

And the time after that, and the time after that, and the time after that.