Caroline exploded with enough force to almost knock them both from their chairs. "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
"Now wait, hold on, it'll be…" John took several steps back and raised his hands defensively as Caroline barrelled in his direction. His voice trailed off as he panicked, moving around the kitchen island to be out of arm's reach, just in case. He hadn't expected a reaction this severe. If he was honest he hadn't considered what Caroline's reaction might be at all before he strolled in. Idiot.
"IT'LL BE WHAT, JOHN?" she yelled as she slammed her hands down on the counter opposite him, her hair violently swishing about her face.
"Real-life stories are very popular nowadays…" he reasoned, nervous and pathetically unconvincing. The gravity of the situation just dawning on him, he watched as a red-faced Caroline unleashed her protective side.
"I DON'T CARE IF IT'S POPULAR! You are NOT exploiting my family, my MOTHER, the boys, my…" Should she say girlfriend? Lover? A term she was comfortable with didn't come instantly to mind. Shit. "You can't seriously want to embarrass us all again. What on earth are you thinking?"
Kate had gotten used to showing herself out by now and, though she couldn't imagine Caroline reacting in any other way to that kind of announcement, she wasn't sticking around for any more of the angry fallout. Caroline didn't notice her leave. Kate could still hear Caroline screaming from the end of the driveway as she climbed into her car.
"HELP YOU? ARE YOU ACTUALLY MENTAL? I will not help you HUMILIATE ME!" Kate wondered how long this might take to blow over and precisely how long it would be before Caroline called her to give her the highlights. She considered leaving Caroline a note on the way out, a little 'call me' on a scrap of paper lying on the hall table, but changed her mind. The two women had shared many late night phone calls, even before Kate realised her feelings were not just the friendship kind. Caroline would inevitably call her anyway, with or without a note. She could imagine exactly how tonight's conversation would play out. Annoyed that John still had the ability to ruin everything, she knew she'd have to work hard to cheer Caroline up over the next few days. An evening date at her house might be the ticket. In the meantime she'd leave Caroline to deal with it alone. She grumbled to herself as her car pulled away, shaking her head, unable to comprehend the magnitude of John's stupidity and bare-faced cheek. She could do nothing to interfere in what was left of Caroline and John's fractured relationship and Caroline had been adamant that Kate should stay out of it. She needed to organise something quite special to distract Caroline and made a mental note to pick up bubble bath, candles and a bottle of red wine on the way home.
Caroline was pleased to find the boys were still home alone when she returned. John was obviously elsewhere tonight and she wished she didn't ever have to worry about his whereabouts anymore. Somehow, though he'd always been mildly irritating, she hadn't managed to look at him over the past few days without wanting to throw something heavy in his direction. A book. A god damned book. What on earth was he thinking? She still hadn't calmed down fully, but being so spoiled by Kate this evening had eased her stresses better than any alcohol, medication or therapy… and she knew because over the years she had tried them all.
In the sitting room her boys were engrossed in a movie, barely turning their heads in her direction as she leaned around the doorframe to greet them. She swiped a leather-bound and dog-eared book from the sideboard, flung her keys and handbag onto the kitchen counter and trundled up the stairs to bed. If sleep was ever going to come to her easily then her money was on tonight. It has been a very long and very emotional week. The candlelit bubble bath wasn't something she would ever normally do for herself, but as she entered her bedroom, already unzipping her skirt, she wondered whether or not she'd get enough time to herself tomorrow to repeat the impromptu pamper session at home.
Caroline slept fitfully, each time she awoke abruptly and her mind began replaying different arguments over and over again. Her depression was diminishing, she had no doubt, but it wasn't totally absent and she felt frustrated at herself for being incapable of letting things go.
She was relieved to find it was already daylight when she awoke for the final time. Too many mornings she had given up on sleep before the sun was up. As she propped herself up on her elbows, blinking through the beam of light creeping in through a crack in the curtains, she smelled something. One of the boys was making breakfast and, though she wasn't hungry, she was thankful she wouldn't have to make anything more complicated than coffee.
Trudging downstairs she found both boys and their father tucking into a full English at the dining table. What was he doing here? She looked around for a jug or vase that might make a satisfactory projectile. No, no, not in front of the children, and anyway he wasn't worth obliterating something she would later wish she could replace. She clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth together in annoyance, as all three males shovelled in mouthfuls of pan-fried bacon and scrambled eggs. The sooner she got this divorce sorted out the sooner they both could go their separate ways. Hopefully then she'd never come home or wake up to find the arsehole had let himself in again.
"Morning, Ma," called Laurence, his mouth still half full of food.
"Oi, piggy," John interjected, swatting Laurence playfully on the arm, "don't talk with your mouth full."
"Sorry," coughed Laurence, spitting a tiny piece of scrambled egg across the table towards William.
"Nice." William sneered with disgust. Caroline recognised only too well that her eldest shared her inclination for being easily irritated.
"Morning boys," Caroline replied with a yawn, deliberately omitting any recognition of John. Maybe if she pretended he wasn't there she wouldn't have to deal with him.
John had other ideas by talking directly at her, "These two are off to Alton Towers with Bill Thompson and his boys so I thought I'd better feed them up before the journey."
"Right."
"I called last night and Laurence said you were out, didn't know if you'd be back so I thought they might need…"
"They're not babies, John," snapped Caroline just as a very loud knock came at the front door. She moved her attention to the coffee machine, finding a half-filled pot already made. "And anyway, I don't stay out overnight, they know that. I'm always back here to see to them so you don't need to keep turning up."
"Well I needed to speak to you anyway, about something else, so I…" Chair legs screeched against wooden flooring as the boys jumped up from the table, grabbing their bags and coats. Caroline grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee from the pot. She walked back towards the kitchen door, looking up the corridor toward the front door, as John stood and moved towards her. "I gave them some spending money and made packed lunches."
Caroline surveyed the bombsite that used to be the countertop of her kitchen island. She felt gratitude once more that she hadn't had to prepare the boys' lunches, but she knew the clean up part would be down to her at some point. She just didn't have the energy. "Thank you," she said quietly, looking sheepishly down at the floor rather than back at John.
The boys yelled their goodbyes with urgency, too distracted by the giddiness and excitement that had greeted them at the door, "Bye, see you later." Caroline was about to shout back just as the front door slammed shut.
"They'll be fine," said John. Did she look worried enough to warrant his reassurance? She was too exhausted to care really and moved to walk past him toward the couch by the dining table. As she slumped lazily into the soft cushions John turned a dining chair away from the table and sat down facing her. "So, I wanted to ask you something…"
"Urgh," she moaned, why was he still here? "It better not be anything about a book, John," she warned, waving a hand at him, "because I swear I will not be responsible for my actions, I told you that last time." She shuffled on the couch, making herself more comfortable, bending her long legs underneath her and resting her free hand on her ankle.
"Well…" he continued gingerly, "do you remember telling me about your first meeting with Gillian?"
Caroline's brow furrowed in confusion at his question as she took a long drink from her mug. She thought she'd already told him about this so why did he want to go over it again? It wasn't particularly interesting and she still wasn't proud of how badly she had behaved. She didn't need reminding again how awkward that incident had been. She rubbed her fingers across her forehead, flicking parts of her long, messy fringe to the side, "Yes, we talked about it before Mum's engagement party."
"Only Gillian said…"
"Gillian said..." Caroline sighed knowingly. There was something between Gillian and John that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Though John had gone crawling back to Judith he still seemed to have a soft spot for her would-be step-sister. They had become close recently, as close as they could be she thought, given the vast difference in their personalities. The more she considered John's attraction to Gillian, and to Judith, the more she wondered what he ever saw in her. She evidently wasn't really his type. Does he even have a type, other than women who are simply just 'up for it'?
"Well, she mentioned it in passing and I thought it would make a good chapter."
"Nope." Caroline was steadfast and blunt. She shook her head violently, making her hair fly around her face, "It's not happening, John. I'm not giving you details so that you can twist them into a tale of how much your ex-wife is a total bitch."
"I wouldn't… really, that's not why…" Caroline jumped from the sofa, running to escape any further discussion on the matter. She had forbidden anything in which her private life became a story for public consumption. "Caroline, please." She reached the bottom of the stairs, intending to go back to bed until such time as John got bored and let himself out, just as her phone began to ring.
She changed course back toward the kitchen counter and rummaged through the contents of her handbag until she found the noisy iPhone. John was persistent and was about to continue pestering her for personal information as she answered the call. "Hello? Hi." Her voice softened and John knew instantly it could only be Kate. He knew of no other person who had that effect on Caroline. He, and even her own mother, had a natural knack for pushing her buttons, but Kate was different. He didn't like the situation and mentally kicked himself in the butt for kick-starting this entire sequence of familial events. There was nothing he could do about it now. He was trying to be happy for her and get his own life back on track, albeit outside of the family unit he was used to, but he couldn't help being jealous. It annoyed him how easily this new woman had taken his place in his wife's heart. How long had that place been empty? Something resembling guilt tugged at his gut. He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and closed in behind Caroline, determined to carry on his fact-finding mission as soon as her call had ended. "Yes, oh yes. I'd love to," Caroline grinned, turning around to find John standing right behind her. "Right, okay, then I'll be ready in 15 minutes." She flung the phone back into her handbag where it lay nestled amongst a mess of empty bacon wrappers and breadcrumbs and walked back towards the stairs.
John called after her, "Caroline, all I need is a few pointers…"
She yelled musically from halfway up the stairs, teasing him with her tone, more pressing matters now on her mind, "Sorry, got to go. Lock the door on your way out."