Guys, thank you for your follows and reviews! You made my day! I've been pretty busy with school and in a zombie-like mood, and get some appreciation for this has cheered me up quite a bit. Thank you! And do review! I will keep your requests in mind, so if there's something you'd like me to write, leave a msg! As always, if you see mistakes of any kind, do correct me.

Detective Lindsay closed her eyes for a moment. The glare of the computer screen seemed unusually bright today, and little fireworks of pain were bursting behind her eyelids. When she looked up, her partner was staring her down. His "worried face" looked more angry than anything else, but she was grateful nonetheless.

Everything's going to be ok. I'm not facing this alone. I have back up. I have back up. It's ok. She had these sentences whirling through her head like a favourite song on repeat. I should have let him in sooner, she thought. But despite that thought, she was on guard, and her walls were up. She needed space and quiet to think.

She got up to refill her coffee in the break room, well aware that Jay would tail her in a couple seconds if she didn't come back soon. So she filled her mug, grabbed a couple packets of sugar, and went back to her desk to grab her coat.

"I'm gonna go out for a little fresh air. Be back in five."

Jay nodded. His worried/angry expression was still there, but he seemed to understand exactly why she was leaving. "Keep your phone on."

"Will do," she replied, giving him a small reassuring smile. She glanced at Burgess, whose nose was practically touching the computer screen. From the outside, she seemed too cute and silly and friendly to be a cop. But there was no doubt in any of their minds that she was a hard worker. First day on the job and she'd already done twice the amount of paperwork than any of them. Erin remembered that conversation at Molly's they'd had long ago as she went down the stairs.

Flight attendant? Jay mocked.

You can break my balls all you want, but I learned more about crowd control and conflict resolution and intimidation tactics. Traits that will serve me well when you guys detail me up into Intelligence.

Now, Ruzek was sitting in Jules's seat, and Burgess in Antonio's. Things had changed so much, but everything seemed the same, somehow. This is just like that. It doesn't matter that he's back. It'll work out in the end.

She wished she could convince herself that easily, but she couldn't. What really bothered her, was that she actually cared what her father would think of her when they met. Despite the fact that he'd walked out on Bunny and herself when she'd been little more than a child, she cared about this man's opinion. Despite the fact that he'd been abusive, Erin couldn't help but remember the odd memory of watching a game with him or riding along in his car for a grocery run. Maybe the years in prison had sobered him.

Watching a game with his drunk friends and me chained to his side, itching to leave and get a breath of air away from all those sour-mouthed men, she remembered, correcting her naïve thoughts. Riding along in the front seat of his car, not more than 6 years old, for a 'grocery run' that brought home nothing but alcohol. She'd remind him – "Teddy's hungry, daddy, you need to buy bread, too.". He'd reply, " Of course, sweet heart." She'd wait in the car for an eternity. He'd come back with a grocery bag in one hand, and a surprise in the other. A lollipop. "For you, sweetheart!"

That would be her happy distraction for the rest of the ride home. Then she'd get home and check the bags and find beer cans and peanuts and no bread. Then she'd guiltily pull the lollipop out of her mouth, and glance at Teddy. Then he'd cry for hours and hours and her half-eaten surprise was no help at all. Her father would lose his temper, and yell at her to leave, take him outside, "Through him out, for all I care!"

Erin breathed in the crisp, cool, night air, felt it burn her nostrils and felt stronger for it. The only dad I ever needed is upstairs, she consoled herself. She was sitting on the stoop in front of the district, her fingers shoved into her pockets to protect them from the biting cold, people watching, when she heard her partner's voice drift down the stairs.

"How're you feeling?" she heard him say. She turned around, to tell him that she was fine, when she noticed he was speaking into a phone.

Jay sat down beside her, and pulled the phone away from his ear to put it on speakerphone.

"… and well, not bad considering. Just a little nervous," Mouse was saying. Jay didn't reply, he just looked down at the device. Then he started: "Greg, I know you can't tell me anything about what's happening, but –"

"Yes," came Mouse's voice from the other end, sounding a little strangled.

"Already?" Jay replied, a little bit of anger tainting his voice.

"It's alright, I'm fine. I just need to keep my head in the game."

"Good. Stay sharp. And call me. After."

"Of course. Let's talk about something else. What's today's case?"

"Uh, well, we got what looks like a suicide, but family and friends insist otherwise. There's a note and everything… but somethings aren't adding up. It was a 18 year old girl from South Side. Just got accepted into an Ivy League."

"How's everyone taking it?"

"Just another day on the job, right?" Jay asked, in a cynical tone.

"I guess."

An uncomfortable silence stretched for a few moments, and she could see Jay fighting with himself and trying to find the right words. He suddenly began in a rush, "Mouse, it's not too late-"

Erin put her hand on his wrist and squeezed lightly.

"-uh, to, earn a badge or two. Do what you do best, buddy. They're lucky to have you. Just be safe."

"Sure thing, Jay," Mouse replied with a laugh. "Alright then, I'll call you later. Love you, brother."

"Love you too, man. I mean it about being safe, ok? Don't do anything stupid. Don't repeat the incident that earned you your nickname."

Mouse laughed, muttered something unintelligible and hung up.

Jay stuffed the phone into his jeans pocket and hung his head between his knees. She pressed her cold hand against his neck and massaged it. "What was he saying, there?"

Jay straightened and gripped her hand, a little tighter than usual. "He's going in. First mission. He can't tell me the details… in fact, he probably shouldn't have said as much as he did. But, yeah. He's going in… If I lose him, Erin-"

"Jay. Stop it. He's going to be fine. You worrying is not going to help him. And you know this was the right decision for him. Listen, he's going to be fine. Just take my word on it." Jay looked up at her, and Erin could see that he wanted to believe what she was saying, but whatever he'd gone through with Mouse back then was too overpowering.

"Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks… for stopping me from saying something stupid." He took a long breath and turned back to her again. "How're you doing? What did you tell Bunny?"

"I told her to stall him. Give me some time to think." She could see Jay needed to think about something else, so she continued. "I know you'll come with me if I need you…"

"Of course."

"…but I don't want to give the wrong impression. I mean, I don't need his blessing. I don't want him to misunderstand me – he has no part in my life. If I face him alone, he won't be able to bother me as much.."

"If I come with you, would he be… nicer?"

"Ha!" Erin laughed. "He was never up to face a challenge to his authority. I remember when I was a teen, he caught me talking to a boy outside of school. He gave me a beating when I got home… gave me a 'lesson on the importance of family'." She scoffed. "Voight's rules seemed too easy in comparison." She laughed it off, like it was nothing. Suddenly she didn't feel like talking about it anymore. She realized both of them were just trying to avoid their feelings. If avoiding emotions were an Olympic sport, she was sure she'd win Gold every time.

"So… how did Mouse earn his nickname?"

Jay chuckled under his breath. "Sorry, but that's a story he'll have to tell you when he gets back." He gave her a reassuring smile. "Come on," he said, nodding his head at the door. "Let's go back up before Voight makes stricter rules for the both of us."

Erin laughed at the remark.

"Have you told him, about…?"

"I'll tell him tonight," she replied, as the stepped inside.

"Good."

"And Jay?" she said, tugging at his sleeve to stop him.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning to her with his hand around her shoulder in the middle of the stairwell.

"Thank you."

Jay looked at her with a sad smile, and bent his head to the side kiss her softly. "That's why you have back up."

Erin laughed, and replied, "I'm not sure kisses are part of that package, Halstead." She reluctantly slipped out from underneath his arm.

They walked back into the precinct, naively thinking they were keeping their relationship on the down low. Trudy Platt, however, wasn't about to let that notion live for long.

"Hey, Detective Chuckles. You missed a spot," she called out in her loud voice, pointing at Erin's face.

Jay practically blushed. Then he got ahold of himself and turned back to Erin and kissed her full on the mouth. Erin squealed in protest and slapped her hand against his chest. He smiled at his girlfriend mischievously and turn back to Platt.

"Did I get it, Sargent?" he shot back.

Trudy Platt stared at him with wide angry eyes, speechless for once in her life. Lindsay and Halstead had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing out loud.