Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own DBZ, or anything else you might recognize. I'm extremely sorry if you were mistaken!
Author's Note: Yes, the crap is back! I have officially decided to continue this fic. Thank you to those who reviewed me; the feedback really helped and I'm only happy to give you another chapter.
And here we go again:
"Hey, YOU!" Vegeta barked at the two youths behind the desk the moment they walked in. "We need a room!"
"Uh, s-sure," the pimply-faced redhead answered him hesitantly as the two Saiyans walked closer and closer. "J-just let me t-take a look here in m-my book..." He hastily thumbed through the appointment book, apparently searching hard for a vacancy.
Vegeta, impatient at the kid's ineptness, rolled his eyes, leaning his elbows on the front desk and drumming his fingers to an infuriating beat. The poor youth just gulped and paged through faster, the pimples and blackheads just seeming to pop all the more out of his beet red face. He even got so flustered that the pinky-length pencil he had been tapping suddenly flew out of his hand and landed on the linoleum floor with a quiet yet very loud PING.
Redhead gulped.
Vegeta stared at him angrily.
Redhead gulped.
Vegeta scowled.
Redhead gulped.
Vegeta flexed his gloved fingers efficiently, preparing for one nasty Ki ball.
Redhead gulped.
And Goku smiled and picked the pencil up, which was currently lying right behind Vegeta.
"Here you go," he said, handing it over with a bright, sunny grin. "Now do you have room for us?"
The kid with brown dreadlocks turned to the right page in the appointment book and surveyed it carefully. "Uh...no. No, I'm afraid not...s-sir-" By that time he had looked up at Vegeta and, seeing the expression of unconditional hatred etched upon his face, had crouched behind the desk chair, shaking like a rabbit.
There was a short moment of silence, where all time seemingly stood still and where not even the roaches infesting the motel scuttled. A short moment of silence, and then...
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU MORONS, NOT HAVING A FUCKING ROOM?!" Vegeta roared, his fingernails creating deep grooves within the cold metal desk.
"J-just what he said, sir," the redhead proffered, his pimples now standing out like beacons against his ghastly pale face. "We- we don't have none availa-"
"SHUT UP!" Vegeta swept away the bowl holding the mints with one shaking hand, the handbags around his neck flying every which way. "ME AND MY COMPANION WANT A ROOM RIGHT NOW!! RIGHT NOW!! IF WE DON'T GET ONE WE WILL FREAKING BLOW THIS ROOM TO TINY LITTLE BITS!! AND YOU WITH IT!"
"Vegeta," Goku started apprehensively, "I don't think you-"
"AND YOU SHUT UP TOO, KAKAROTT!" Vegeta continued to roar. "REMEMBER HARD AND LONG WHAT THE PRINCE OF ALL THE SAIYANS DID TO YOU IN THE DESERT!"
Goku's face started to harden. "Now listen here, Vegeta, YOU just remember who has the higher power level! I'd last longer than you in any-"
"Um, sirs?" Redhead asked haltingly. They both turned to look at him. "Um, it looks like there IS one room available. If you guys don't mind the honeymoon suite at all, then-"
Goku broke out into a goofy grin. "Perfect!" he exclaimed. "That should be just perfect for us!"
Vegeta scowled. "I don't care WHAT it is, as long as it's a goddamn room! Now TAKE US THERE!" he growled with one last toss of spit.
Dreadlocks nervously fumbled with his set of keys and pointed to the stair landing. "R-right this way, s-sirs." He shakily stumbled off with Vegeta and Goku in his wake, giving one last look behind at Redhead, who gave him a sympathetic glance.
***
"Here you are," Dreadlocks said proudly, opening the door to the room with an overdone flourish, "the Honeymoon Suite!"
Vegeta's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "You...have...got...to be...kidding...me..."
Dreadlocks suddenly realized that if he was still around by the time Vegeta had gotten over his initial shock, he's probably be incinerated and reduced to a tiny, smoldering speck of carbon. "Oh, yes it is," he said in a rush, turning an odd green color. "Welli'vegottogonowdosomepaperworkgoodluckhavefungoodbye." He almost ran back down the stairs.
Goku and Vegeta slowly entered the room, Goku smiling happily to himself and Vegeta's palms very dry and his mouth feeling as if it had been stuffed with cotton.
It was a very small room; in fact, way to small to even be CONSIDERED a honeymoon suite. Stains and marks adorned the walls and carpet, giving one the impression that the actual room had not been cleaned in years. A small door led to what seemed to be a tiny bathroom, with the room itself being quite sparsely furnished with the exception of---
ONE VERY BIG BED.
***
~30 minutes later, in the break room~
"Oh, come off it, Freddie," the laundry boy guffawed, one eye occupied on the football game that was on, "those guys couldn't be gay."
"But they were!" Freddie (aka Redhead) insisted vigorously. "They HAD to be!"
"Yeah, why did they want a room so badly, for one thing?" Dreadlocks, who had just entered the room, pointed out. "The little one looked like if we wasn't gonna give them a room, he'd blow the entire place up. They were THAT eager."
Freddie threw back his head and laughed. "BLOW this room to tiny little bits? Even their WORD choice seems to point to it."
"OK, OK, whatever," the laundry boy relinquished, turning to the others. "So what did these guys look like if you're so convinced they're gay? I mean, come on, they probably just came here to get outta the storm."
"One of 'em was wearing spandex. Really REVEALING spandex too, probably to show off his huge-"
Laundry Boy smirked. "And how do YOU know?"
"Well, you couldn't take your eyes off it! It was THAT big. I wish I had-"
"Would you just SHUT UP and explain to me how you know that they're gay already?!" Laundry Boy exclaimed, chagrined. "I don't wanna know about THAT!"
"Well then, as I said, their word choice-"
"Oh, yeah! Ahahahahaha!" Dreadlocks chortled. "REMEMBER HARD AND LONG WHAT THE PRINCE OF THE SAIYANS DID TO YOU IN THE DESERT! Ahahahaha! If THAT isn't innuendo, I don't know WHAT is. And then when that other one picked up the pencil!"
"Yeah, and what was is it that tall, stupid one said? Something about power levels?! Something about that he'd last longer-"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" All three suddenly burst into laugher.
"OK, OK, I guess you're right," Laundry Boy giggled, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Looks like you guys had an interesting day at the desk. Wish I had been upstairs, instead of sitting down here watching soaps."
Redhead's eyes suddenly widened. "HEY, I just remembered something. Doesn't the Honeymoon Suite only have ONE BED?!"
A smile crept onto Dreadlocks's face. "Oh, yes it does...And a hot tub, too."
"Hey, why don't we all go spy on 'em tonight sometime? I mean, that's GOTTA be interesting," Laundry Boy stated. "I mean, we got nothing to do anyway. We're all stuck here for awhile."
"Yeah, but we'd better do it quietly, or otherwise Shorty'll blast us into pieces!"
"We'll be careful, then, right? I mean, come on, this is a once in a lifetime chance!"
They all nodded in agreement, thus making it even tougher for a certain pair of Saiyans...
***
"And it looks like there was another record day of snow for the city of Metro East-Central, folks. SEVEN inches of snow fell in just eight hours, isn't that right, Dolly?"
"Oh, yes it is, Rob! And today we also-"
Vegeta scowled angrily at the happy-looking weathergirl on KSTV 300 as he completed his ten-thousandth sit-up. Nothing else to do but train, anyway, he had concluded when they had entered the room two hours ago. Goku was sitting on the bed nearby, completely engrossed in the local news that he was watching on the little TV on the nightstand.
Vegeta stared at him in disgust. (What a baka. Not one speck of Saiyan pride.)
He stopped for a moment, his chest heaving as his eyes locked on the newsman's. Damn this luck of his; it looked as if they would be stuck here for ages!
"We'll keep you tuned on any developments concerning the weather tonight, people. Until then, adios!"
"And adios to you too, Rob!"
"Dolly" giggled. "Have one chilling night! Ha-ha!""Ahahahahahahahhahahahaha!"
Vegeta glared at Goku, who had actually LAUGHED at the cheesy joke. Goku just smiled and waved, patting the bed beside him. "Come on, Vegeta. Let's watch TV together!"
"I'd rather die, Kakarott," Vegeta grumbled, giving him a death glare. "Now turn around and SHUT UP!!"
"OK then, whatever, Vegeta," Goku shrugged.
(What an unfriendly guy.)
Goku cocked his head to one side, in deep thought (or deep thought as far as HE went, at any rate). (I wonder if it was something I did earlier. Ahhh, never mind. I'll just be even nicer to him from now on!)Goku continued to watch TV and Vegeta continued to do his sit-ups. Vegeta, however, was starting to get tired of things at an alarming rate. This place was just not his good old Gravity Room; not only that, but he was stuck here with that moron Kakarott as well. Things could NOT get much worse.
"Ahahahahahahaha!"
Shit. They just HAD.
"I already told you: shut UP, Kakarott!" Vegeta growled, flipping his companion off angrily. "Can't you just keep your baka mouth in check for ONE minute while I'm trying to train?!"
Goku, again, just smiled and waved (like as not, he probably didn't even understand what that little birdie was saying). "Gee, I'm sorry, but it was just funny. You see, on that commercial there was this guy who had diarrhea, and-"
"SHUT UP!" Vegeta roared, his spittle flying out in all directions. "I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
"Well, all right, I just thought-"
Vegeta's feral growl cut his sentence short.
***
The steam from the large, bawdy, heart-shaped hot tub rose around Vegeta in tendrils, partially screening him from view. He had finally retreated here so as to be totally alone; once he had heard the three words of death coming from the TV (WHEEL...OF...FORTUNE!!!), he knew that he had to do SOMETHING so that he wouldn't have to hear Kakarott's annoying laugh. And Wheel of Fortune was chock full of cheesy jokes.
He was at least grateful that the bathroom was a little bigger than he had previously thought, and that the tub was large enough for him to stretch out, relax, and let the waves of scalding water wash over him gently. There was even a bubble machine installed in the tub, just like at home; he enjoyed watching the rainbow-colored bubbles float lazily around the half-lit room with almost-closed eyes.
He still couldn't figure out what was with this strange hotel, though, however.
Whenever Bulma had dragged him somewhere for either a "romantic getaway" or a "family vacation", the hotels they had stayed at were nowhere near similar as the one he was staying in now. Why was the tub heart-shaped? Why were there half-burnt candles sitting on top of it? Why was there a fake plastic wedding cake sitting on top of the nightstand? And what was with that damn vibrating bed? (Kakarott had found out about THAT one when he was, as usual, being a baka, and had been bouncing around on top of it.) He shook his head in confusion, praying to the Lord that the blizzard would end soon so that he could get the hell home. Damn that harpy woman; if he wouldn't have caved in to her demands and hadn't went to get her handbags, NONE of this would have happened!
A noise from outside the bathroom suddenly and rudely made itself known, sounding like the call of some unknown, indigenous bird that had been hunted to extinction because of its annoying, ululating sound.
"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"
Vegeta's eyes began to twitch. Why wouldn't that fool just SHUT UP?!
"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Vegeta growled angrily. He was just about to hop out of the tub, stark naked and all, and blast that damn moron to Kingdom Come, but before he could stand up, the door opened with a sickening creak.
Yep, it was Kakarott, with that big goony grin on his simple face.
"Guess what, Vegeta!" he exclaimed eagerly. "Guess what!"
"WHAT?" Vegeta roared, splashing water everywhere.
"Well," said Goku, pausing a moment to think while he scratched his head, "there was this really funny joke on Wheel of Fortune! Somebody asked for a bowel instead of a vowel, and everybody laughed really hard-"
"GET OUT! I DON'T CARE FOR YOUR FOOL JOKES! I HAVE TOLD YOU SO COUNTLESS TIMES! NOW GET OUT!"
Goku started to back away. "OK, OK, I just-"
"NOW!"
The door slammed with surprising speed and precision.
Vegeta laughed darkly and allowed himself to slide deeper within the water, his long hair streaming out from behind his head. What an idiot. He had always thought so. Once he had trained just a little more, it would not be hard to ambush Kakarott from behind and to kill him. And then his revenge would be complete...
He had just started to contemplate on other matters (like, for example, wondering how the hell Kakarott had figured out how to have children), when another disturbance suddenly and rudely made itself known.
Yes, you guessed it: it was Kakarott. Again.
And he was wearing just a towel.
Before Vegeta could protest, Goku had thrown off the towel and had hopped in right across from him, causing water to splash everywhere.
"Hi, Vegeta!" he exclaimed. "I just thought you might enjoy some company and my armpits were starting to smell, so I decide I might as well join you!" He looked around the room. "Really nice place this is, isn't it?"
Vegeta replied darkly under his breath, "It was before you showed up."
"Oh, ahahaha!" Goku smacked his hand in the water, laughing hard. "You're always the comedian, aren't you, Vegeta? Aahahha!"
Vegeta didn't even bother to state that he hadn't been joking. Anything said that was intelligent was lost upon Kakarott.
"Well anyway, looks like I'd better get down to business! After all, it's been two weeks since I took a bath! Oh, and maybe I should shave in here, too!"
He gritted his teeth so as to ignore the urge to blow the entire hotel, including himself, to tiny bits. And he was NOT leaving just because Kakarott was here. That would be an insult to his Saiyan pride.
***
~Forty-five minutes later~
"Well, well, well, look what we have here," Bulma pouted at Vegeta, wearing only a sheer white negligee that teased at his eyeballs. "It looks like Princey's in the bathtub and he wants to play, am I right?" She swayed her hips suggestively, causing Vegeta to growl in a primal manner.
She walked slowly towards the tub, stepping up onto it and daintily putting one bare foot within the deliciously hot water. "Ooo, it's not too hot, it's not too cold, but it's just right! I think I'll have a good time in here, don't you?"
"Hurry up," Vegeta replied in a husky voice.
Bulma pouted again, putting her hands on her hips and splashing at him lightly with her foot. "Well, if you want me that bad, then you'll have to come and get me, won't you, monkey boy?"
He did just that by grabbing her foot, and causing her to land on top of him with a splash.
A rather loud splash, though.
An unusually loud splash.
Splashes couldn't be that loud, could they?
Well, there was one splash that could, and that could only be-
Vegeta's eyes snapped open, the first thing registering in his brain that he was getting hit by a multitude of lukewarm water. He sputtered angrily as he attempted to shield his face from the aggressive barrage, wondering how he could have fallen asleep and what the hell was now going on.
But of course he knew what was going on. The explanation to all of this was summed up in just one word: Kakarott.
"Ha! I gotcha THERE, Vegeta!" Goku laughed playfully, still splashing water at the enraged Saiyan Prince. "You shouldn't fall asleep when you know that there's someone who's gonna play tricks on you!"
"That was NOT a trick, Kakarott!" Vegeta shot back. "THAT was an insult to the throne of Vegeta-sai!"
Goku laughed again. "Oh, whatever. Admit it, you thought it was funny!"
"About as funny as ME kicking your ASS!" With that Vegeta flexed his fingers and started up with another Ki ball.
"Hey, hey, hey," Goku relented, waving his arms every which way. "I didn't mean it, you know! Come on, put your hand down, Vegeta. It was just a joke! Don't you know what a joke is?"
"GRRRRRRRR!!"
"Come on, calm down before you get us all killed! THEN where will we go for the night?"
"GRRRRRRR!!!! One more second, Kakarott, and you'll be vaporized!"
"Oh, for the love of Pete, Vegeta, PUT YOUR HAND DOWN! You're not strong enough to vaporize me anyway! All you'll do is just vaporize the hotel! And THEN we'll be sleeping on a smoldering pile of ash!"
Vegeta growled, but ended up not letting his temper get the best of him and put his hand down. The baka DID have a small point; he was not going to let him see how strong he was before unraveling his master plan, which was, as stated before, to get as strong as he could and then defeat him.
Goku giggled. "See, now was that so hard?!"
Vegeta glared at him. "Don't push me, Kakarott!"
"Oh, Kakarott this, and Kakarott that!" Goku waved Vegeta's words off like a trash bag in the wind. "Why don't you just call me Goku? All of my friends call me by my earth name, and not my Saiyan name!"
"I am no friend of yours, Kakarott!"
"Oh, poo! I guess you'll never learn, will you?"
Vegeta allowed himself to close his eyes and tried to ignore his moronic companion, who just did not seem to want to go away. He WAS going to outlast him in this tub, come hell or high water! If he left now, then he would be admitting defeat.
Eventually, though, the thoughts of revenge faded and his mind drifted over to his family. He actually found himself MISSING his wife and son, more than he would probably ever admit. Oh, if only Bulma had been the one to be lost with him in the blizzard! If only THEY had made their way to this strange hotel and got this room! If only SHE was sitting across from him in this hot tub right now, if only---
Vegeta's eyes snapped open again. He couldn't help but let out a small, disgusted sigh. Sitting across from him, in place of Bulma, was a goofy-looking man, who was scratching himself hard with a loofah and periodically sniffing and nibbling on the soap that was foaming in his other hand.
So much for dreams coming true.
Unfortunately, though, Goku saw his awakening. "Oh, so now you're done with your nap, Vegeta! I thought you'd NEVER wake up! I'm almost done scrubbing myself, see?"
Silence.
Goku faltered for a moment, but then offered him the bite-marked soap. "Here, wanna scrub yourself off, too?"
"Get that away from me!"
Goku appeared to think hard at Vegeta's angry comment, but any idea of him thinking at all was soon abated when a patch of bubbles suddenly floated up from the bottom of the tub.
And they weren't from the bubble machine.
This was the last straw for Vegeta. "GODDAMMIT!" he roared. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS PUNISHMENT ANYMORE! I'M LEAVING!"
"Vegeta, it was just-"
But the Saiyan Prince already had a towel around his waist and was leaving. "SHUT UP! I'M GOING TO BED! AND IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT DISTURBING ME WHILE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, THEN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!" He stomped off into the bedroom.
Goku just shrugged and reached for the loofah again.
Vegeta literally fell onto the large bed, snapping off the light and putting the covers over his head. He was angered beyond words. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do to fix the situation.
For the first time in his life, he almost cried.
Author's Note: The heart-shaped hot tub was from Dumb and Dumber, if you didn't know! :D I love that movie!
Anyway, if anyone was wondering about what's happening to Bulma and Chichi and the others over on the other side of town, then next chapter your questions will be answered! Unless everyone thinks I should stick to just the Goku/Vegeta POV, then I believe I will split the POV's of Chapter 3 between Bulma and Goku/Vegeta. Feel free to tell me if you think otherwise.
Anyway...expect the next chapter sometime soon; it's still Christmas vacation for me, y'know. And by all means, please review! I love reviews! Reviews are cool! :D