You were running. There were screams of pain in the air and blood and guts on the ground. But you ignored them and kept running through the streets desperately trying to make it to the gate that led to the inner wall. All the while Eren was ramming her fists into any part of your body they could reach. Finally having enough you threw her down onto the ground and yelled at her.
"What the hell is your problem?" You yelled at her even though you knew perfectly well what her problem was.
"We could have saved her if you hadn't ran away!" She yelled at you while she slammed her fist into your face. "You fucking coward!"
You've had enough. Finally snapping you smacked her across the face hard. hard enough to send her falling to the ground.
"We had to run don't you get that!" You yelled at her as she looked up at you with eyes full of pain and tears. "If we didn't run we would've been eaten and killed along with her! You think your mother wanted to see her kids get eaten right in front of her eyes?"
"You don't know that!" She yelled standing up.
You smacked her back down. "I know we would've died because we're too fucking weak!" You yelled at the top of your lungs, knowing that you didn't have much more time before the titans came to make food out of all three of you. "We were too weak to save your mother and that's why she died!"
Shocked, Eren said nothing else and instead stared at the ground with blank eyes. With a sigh you ran your fingers through your (h/c) hair before grabbing Eren's hand and pulling her along with you as you started to run again. You realized that you probably seemed cold-hearted to Eren and Mikasa but in reality you were simply numb. You couldn't fully grasp the horror that had happened in a few minutes so your mind simply suppressed it.
Through incredible luck you didn't encounter any more titans and were able to squeeze into the little space that was left on the boat leaving Shiganshina. There you found Armin huddled with the rest of his family. You saw him wave at you, saw him see the state all three of you were in, then saw him look away. You didn't even care anymore. You found a space near the edge big enough for the three of you and collapsed in exhaustion.
As soon as you had sat down fate had decided to fuck with your lives again. With a loud crash you watched as a titan with armor-like skin smashed through the gate into the inner wall. Boulders and bodies went everywhere as the gate collapsed making another hole for the titans to get through. It then stopped and released steam from it's mouth before straitening up and proceeding to stand still.
On the boat there was silence. No one spoke, no one had to. Everyone knew what everyone else was thinking. "That's it, we're dead, the titans will kill us all." That's when the crying began. Everyone on the boat cried or screamed for those they'd lost, those that had died, or for the fear that they would die next. Looking over you saw Eren crying into her open palm, it was torn open and bleeding from trying to lift the beam. Suddenly the image of Eren's mother being eaten flashed through your mind again.
You expected to cry as well. Why wouldn't you? Your family was dead, or at least you thought they were, and you watched someone hat you had spent seven years with get eaten right before your eyes. But no tears came out. All you felt inside was pure rage. Pure, uncontrollable anger towards the giant walking horrors that were the titans.
"Kill..." You muttered under your breath, too soft for anyone to hear exactly what you said.
"What did you say (f/n)?" Mikasa asked you but it was like you hadn't heard her at all. Instead you stood up from where you were sitting and walked forward. You placed your hands on the side of the boat and stared at the disappearing figure of the armored titan not noticing that Eren was right beside you until you noticed her hand right next to yours. But you didn't pay her any attention.
"I'm going to kill them all." You both said as you realized that she had reached the same conclusion as you. "Every last fucking titan will die by my hands! I will kill every last one!"
The rage was deep inside the both of you. For better or worse you both had dedicated your lives to exterminating all the titans. After an hour of standing at the edge of the boat the immediate rage had subsided and instead it felt ridiculous to be standing there any longer. You both went to sit back down next to Mikasa who had a look of concern on her face.
A few weeks later you awoke in a storage house along with Eren and Mikasa. The boat had taken you to Trost. Another city that protruded from the main wall just like Shiganshina. The idea that the same exact situation could arise here wasn't exactly promising. But you had other problems to deal with at the moment.
The city was filled to the brim with refugees from the outer walls who were forced to move there because of the titans. Food was scarce and thee were even rumors that thee was something that would be done to reduce the amount of people inside the walls. As for Eren she had seemed to calm down since that day. Some time after they had gotten to Trost she had met up with her father. He had left for the inner walls before the titans had attacked and so he didn't die there. Yet since then he had gone missing and all Eren could remember from seeing him was that he had given her a necklace that opened the basement to their house.
That morning Mikasa had woken up you and Eren so that you could go and get your daily rations. Since you had made it to Trost you had noticed that Mikasa had tried to become more like a mother towards you and Eren. You found it cute and kind but immediately told her to stop. She wasn't yours or Eren's mother and she shouldn't act like she was. She simply nodded at you and lowered her head blushing when you told her that.
If your brother was still alive he would make a jab at you for flirting with Mikasa while already having you eyes on Eren. Though you guessed it really didn't matter what he would've said anymore. Besides it didn't really matter which one you liked (you liked both of them actually I mean who wouldn't) because it didn't seem like they would be living long the way things were going in the city.
As you stood in line for rations you noticed Armin run up with four pieces of bread in his arms. He was still your friend of course and he was always helping you out with anything that he could. But you couldn't get over how much you hated his carefree smile whenever you saw him. The smile that belonged to someone who still had family he could see every day.
He handed all of you a piece of bread.
"This is all we're getting today so make it last." He told them, "Food is scarce these days."
Behind him you could see Garrison troops make an ugly face at the four kids trying to eat their only meal. Looking over you say that Eren did as well.
"I don't understand why we have to feed all these fucking refugees." You overheard one of the troops say. "If only the titans had eaten more off these filthy shits."
Before you could stop her Eren stormed towards the troop that had spoken and kicked him in the shin. He yelled in pain but before he could punch her you ran in front of her and took the punch straight on your nose. You fell to the ground bleeding from your nose but you got back up and stood in front of Eren. You were soon joined by Mikasa and Armin and all three of you stopped the man from hitting Eren and Eren from hitting the man.
"Sorry about our friend," Armin said, "She's just a bit hungry and you know how that makes people."
All three of them smiled at the man until he finally said, "Well just make sure it doesn't happen again." Then he walked off. "And get something for that kids nose." He shouted laughing as he walked away with his friend he was talking to.
Later on Mikasa pretty much beat the shit out of Eren.
"Do you want to die?" She asked her calmly. "Do you want mom's death to be for nothing?"
"Of course not!" Eren yelled at her. "I just...I just hated how he talked about us like we're cattle when he probably hasn't even seen a titan."
"Whether he's seen a titan or not doesn't change the fact that we are taking up what little land humanity has left. It's understandable that everyone's a little tense." Armin said from the side. You had to give it to the guy, no matter how worthless in a fight he was he did have a brain that could put anyone else's to shame.
"I'm joining the army." You finally said. You had been considering it for a couple weeks but you had finally made up your mind. "I'm going to join the army and kill titans so that we can go home."
They stared at you for a few seconds before Eren and Mikasa both spoke up at the same time. "So am I."
Armin looked at all three of you like you were insane before sighing and saying that he was going to join as well. You all swore with each other that you would join when you were all fifteen and then went back to whatever ran down building you each called home. When you got back to the empty storage building Eren went to one side and sat down while Mikasa gave her space and went to the other side out of sight and earshot.
You walked over to Eren and sat down next to her. You both sat in silence for a few seconds before you finally spoke up.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help save your mother Eren."
"I know there was nothing you could've done (f/n)." She said without looking at you, "I was just angry and scared." She pulled her knees closer to her chest. "I don't know what exactly to do anymore. I want to kill the titans more than I want anything else, but I'm not strong enough to do anything."
"Then get stronger," you told her, "become strong enough to kill anything that gets in your way. Become strong enough so that you don't have to lose anything ever again."
"But what if I can't become that strong?" She asked looking at you with tears in here eyes. "What if I'm not strong enough to protect anyone and the titans kill everyone I have left?"
"Then I'll become strong enough for both of us so no one has to die ever again."
You said big words with no idea if you could ever back them up but you believed in them wholeheartedly. You would do anything to protect your friends. They were the only family you had left. You saw Eren wipe away her tears and beam a radiant smile at you. A smile you hadn't seen in a long time. You smiled back and was suddenly caught off guard by something you were not expecting.
Eren grabbed your head and pulled you in so that your lips collided. It was your first kiss and you were sure it was hers as well. Your mind was blank but you decided to go along with it. When the kiss ended both of you were blushing immensely. You quickly wished her goodnight and walked away.
On the way to where you slept Mikasa stepped in front of you.
"(f/n) I just wanted to say thank you." She said without looking at you in a soft voice.
"What for?" You asked her as the blush went away from your cheeks.
"You're always there for me and Eren even back when she would always get into fights and I would have to help her. You never let anything bad happen to either of us if you can help it and...I just wanted to thank you." She looked up and you saw hat she was blushing.
"You guys are the only family I have left." You told her as the blush crept back to your cheeks. "I would do anything to make sure that the both of you are safe."
She didn't say anything back. instead she grabbed your face and quickly kissed you before running away. You stood there shocked for a couple seconds before shaking your head and going to lay down. "If only my brother could see me now." You thought as you fell asleep.
The next day when you tried to look Eren or Mikasa in the eyes they blushed and looked away or ran away quickly. "I hope this doesn't last long." You thought sighing. You were still only ten and your father never really talked about girls to you. Your brother did but you were pretty sure that what he told you shouldn't be things done by a ten year old.
Sure enough the awkwardness faded after a couple of days. Instead it was replaced with the news that thousands of adults were being sent out to fight the titans and reclaim the land taken away. It only took s week for the news to come in that all of the adults sent out were eaten. Among them were the rest of Armin's family.
You couldn't help but smirk when you saw the smile fade away from his face when he heard the news. "Now he knows what it's like." You thought in some dark part of your brain. Then you smacked yourself across the face, hard. You knew what it was like to lose your family all too well. So you walked over to Armin and grabbed his hand.
You smiled at him and pulled him over to where Eren and Mikasa stood. You kept making jokes and forcing Armin to have fun until, finally, you could see a small grin form on his mouth. Suddenly your pain eased as well. You had found yourself a new family. And you were never going to lose them.
Five years later you signed up for the army and hopped on the wagon to the training camp. It was time to take back your home.