"Asterion's Heaven"

By Son Rhandi

Chapter 1: "The Task to Which Your Soul is Set"

"Phew! It certainly has been a while since I've last been in this neck of Otherworld!" Goku hopped atop the head of Snake Way, looking down the million miles-long road, then turning to the opposite direction, anticipating their guest's arrival.

"Ha ha! Hard to believe it's been years since that fateful day you crash-landed on my planet." King Kai chuckled, then sighed wistfully. He did so miss his little rock at times.

"You still haven't told me what the whole deal was with these other souls, North Kai!" A vexed South Kai growled, not really in the mood for their idle banter. He could already tell he really didn't like the turn their 'friendly' bet had taken, and it technically hadn't even yet begun.

"Don't steam up your glasses over it." King Kai grinned. "It's like I said earlier, all will be revealed shortly. All we're waiting on is—"

"Ah! There!" Goku pointed ahead. "I see a car heading this way!"

The other two present turned their attention to the road. Sure enough, they could just make out a little compact car puttering in their direction. Its brakes squealed upon reaching the road's end, and a blue bespectacled ogre in a short-sleeved white button down shirt and slacks emerged from the driver's side.

"Oh, hey! You're the guy who gave me a ride here a good ten years ago!" Goku hopped down from the snake's head to greet his distant acquaintance. "How've you been?"

The ogre adjusted his glasses, blinked a bit, and gave a little gasp in realization. "My, if it isn't the famous Goku," he smiled.

"Huh? I'm famous?"

"Why of course!" He clasped his hands together. "As though being the only other person to reach the end of Snake Way besides King Yemma at the time, your feats throughout the years has practically made you a real name around the northern quadrant department."

"Well... pffpht..." King Kai began. "Considering his current state... snort..." South Kai rolled his eyes. Bad joke, ahoy... "You might say... his career ended with a bang! Pfffffffft ha ha ha ha ha ha—snort— bwa ha haha!"

Blank stares all around. Goku gave an awkward little smile. "I guess the same could be said for you, too, huh, King Kai?"

"I suppose you could! Hoo hoo hoo ha ha—wait. That's not funny at all." He groused.

"ANYWAY," South Kai bellowed. "As much as I am happy for your little impromptu reunion, we have business to attend to. Is the soul in question available?"

The office ogre bowed. "Terribly sorry, Mr. South Kai, sir. He is in the vehicle. One moment." He went around to the passenger's side. "Ok, now. Don't try to escape or anything. You'll just end up falling back down to hell from here." He opened the door.

A fluffy cloud-like puff rolled out of the car and onto the road, obediently moving at his escort's side. "May I present, the soul of one, Ginyu." The little puff reared up a bit and bent forward slightly. They assumed it was its version of a bow and nodded in kind.

"...Oh! I suppose it'll be a tad difficult to converse with him like this." The ogre chuckled, then dug into his pocket, producing what looked like a laser pointer. Aiming it at Ginyu's soul, he shined the pointer on him, and began to gesture, as though he was drawing a stick figure in light. When he had finished, the puff began to take the shape of a humanoid, growing into what ended up as a featureless cloud man.

"Hey, what's up? I thought you guys were gonna grant him his body?" Goku poked through the fluff, but was promptly swatted away.

"You must understand, there would be no point in restoring his body fully until he has agreed to the terms of your... experiment, you called it?" The ogre clasped his hands in front. "In any case, at least this way, you'll be able to talk freely."

"Hey! How long are you jokers going to stand around talking like I'm not here!" Ginyu growled in a voice like gravel. "Huh?" He cast his gaze to Goku, raising an eye ridge.. "You're that Saiyan from before... You're Goku, aren't you?"

"Hey, you remembered!" Goku stood up. "I guess they've heard of me in Hell, too, huh?"

"Feh, you're practically a celebrity. A lot of us that were Frieza's soldiers are down there, you know. It didn't take long for the news to go 'round, or so I've heard," He crossed his arms. "I remember seeing you around from time to time in that little nature house when I was the most stylish frog there."

"Oh, yeah, you were a frog for a while," Goku rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that, but you know..."

"Eh, it wasn't as bad as you might think. So..." Ginyu smirked, eying the Saiyan's halo. "The guy who took out Frieza finally kicked the bucket, huh? Imagine that..."

"Heh, yeah, things have been pretty crazy like you wouldn't believe!"

"As a matter of fact, I would," chuckled the captain. "Well, anyway, Glasses over here said you all had some business with me?"

"Yes, I do believe that's why we're all here, unless I'm mistaken, North Kai?" The southern Kai's voice was thick with irritation. King Kai cleared his throat and straightened his back, stepping forward as Goku stepped back.

"Now to the matter at hand," he began. "Ginyu, we have a bit of a proposition for you.."

"Ya don't say?" He muttered, feigning interest in what the cricket king had to say.

The North Kai cleared his throat once again. "Simply put, we'd like to offer you a chance for a new start, to be reincarnated. It seems you left quite an impression on Goku, here. He called on you by name! Well, by general description..."

"So what, you all decided to be pretty swell guys and just give me a shot at life again?" Ginyu's brow furrowed in reasonable disbelief. "Sorry, Charlie, but I don't buy that."

King Kai threw up his hands. "You got me! I'll give you the full rundown." He paused to adjust his glasses. "We're conducting an experiment of sorts. One that we'd like you to help out with." Ginyu crossed his arms, glaring down at the cricket king "Now, now, let me finish. We want to know whether an evil soul, one that has already been condemned and cleansed, would still commit to evil of their own accord."

Ginyu sneered. "And let me guess: I'm the 'evil soul' in question?"

"Well, not quite. You seem to be an interesting case, actually. How did Goku put it.. You didn't seem 'as bad as the others?' After your conversation, I'm more inclined to believe that, quite honestly."

The captain just 'humphed' in response. King Kai continued. "The evil soul –well, souls— would be those of your men. That is, the other members of your Ginyu Force."

Ginyu balked. "Whaaaaaaat? My boys?" He stood there a few seconds, shocked.

King Kai nodded. "That's right. They'll be granted back their bodies for this purpose, and you'll be responsible for them. Simply put, their actions will make or break your chance at being reincarnated."

The cloud captain clenched his jaw as tightly as his form would allow. Getting another chance at life was a great thing in itself, but he hadn't seen his subordinates in many years. In death, he thought they could be reunited, and at least make their stay in Hell significantly more stylish, but he just plain wasn't able to find any of them! It wasn't that the featureless-ness of bodiless souls was complicating matters, –even after a good, thorough cleansing, some souls still had a fair amount of residual evil (he felt the crushing blackness of Frieza almost immediately) –but he just plain couldn't sense any of his team members.

He didn't care to admit it, but an afterlife in Hell was completely and utterly boring, and above all, lonely.

"As you probably already noticed when you first were sent to Hell," began the cricket god once more. "You weren't able to sense the presence of your teammates."

Ginyu gave a curt little nod. "Hit the nail on the head. So what gives?"

"Ah, if I may interject, Mr. North Kai, sir?" Glasses piped up, eager to share his professional knowledge. "As you know, all souls are cleansed before entering the place of the rest of their afterlife. Those souls whose lives were largely comprised of evil deeds, upon cleansing, commonly lose much of their memories. Even if you were to come across someone you knew, they may not remember you at that point, if you somehow relate to those evil memories."

The captain gave a disappointed little sigh. "Well, that certainly explains a lot..." He squared his hands on his hips. "So, ok. I keep my boys from tearing across Hell and beating up on ogres and so on and so forth, and I get to have a new life. Good deal. Now suppose—and this is just supposin', mind—that I fail. What happens then?"

King Kai blinked. "Er, well... You would lose your body at that point, and I guess you'd just be left to float around Hell for all eternity!"

Ginyu shrugged. "Fair's fair, I suppose."

"Now wait just a minute there, North Kai!" South Kai slunk up to the front, looking positively devious. "If you're going to take it upon yourself to shake up our little 'experiment,' then it's only fair that I get to throw my own little twist in. First off, cloudpants here isn't allowed to let his good ol' boys in on any of this. If they're gonna behave, they've gotta do it on their own. No incentive allowed."

They could all agree to that. "Furthermore," he continued. "If Ginyu here fails, that is, if even one of his ol' boys slips up in a big way, he ceases to exist. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 Zeni."

Both Goku and King Kai reeled in surprise, and even Ginyu let his jaw drop just a little. "Um, don't you think that's a little extreme, South Kai?" The Earth Saiyan was the first to speak. "I mean, shouldn't just going back to Hell be enough of a loss? I don't think your bet is worth that much..."

Goku clamped his hands over his mouth. The glare that both Kais shot him let him know he goofed in a big way, though he really didn't need to be told at that point. He quietly retreated to the background. "Oh, so that's what this whole charade is about," Ginyu half-growled, half-chucked. "...All right."

The Kais turned back to Ginyu in surprise. "All right?" King Kai took a step forward. "You mean, you agree to the terms? All of them?"

"Gimme a sec here," he held out his hand in a ceasing gesture. "Don't get me wrong. I really don't like the idea of being wiped out of existence, but if it's a choice between the crippling boredom of an eternity's stay in Hell or dying when I'm already dead, it makes no difference. Just one thing: when I win, we all get reincarnated. All of us. It's only fair, seeing as it's my existence at stake. The scope of the payoff ought to match the loss, don't you think?"

Both North and South exchanged glances. "I don't think it'll be an issue, if they're all able to change," muttered to South Kai.

"It'll make things that much more interesting, at the very least," was South Kai's response. He turned back to Ginyu. "Then we're agreed. We look forward to the results of the 'experiment,' Ginyu." He punctuated with a sidelong smile.

"Ha, I'll bet." Ginyu looked over his shoulder. "Say, Glasses!" The Captain started. "Can you really restore my body with that little gizmo of yours?"

"Oh, indeed. As you can probably tell by now, this is more than just a handy laser pointer. It can restore a soul to his or her original body."

"How's about someone else's? I had one that I was using for a good while, and it was rather comfortable. I doubt the original owner is using it."

Glasses blinked, not sure of the implications. "It's fine, young man," King Kai reassured him. "Do as he asks. If King Yemma or your supervisor or whoever gives you any problem about it, I'll take responsibility."

The office ogre nodded and fiddled with the device a bit, adjusting the settings. "If you're ready," he looked up to address Ginyu. "Concentrate in your mind the form that you would like to take, and I'll restore you."

Ginyu closed his eyes. It surely wouldn't be too hard to remember. It was a tall, robust body, broad in chest and shoulders; lavender skin; a hairless, high-crowning, distinctively veined head with black, highly-polished horns jutting out on either side (it was his favorite physical trait at the time; he was happy to have horns similar to Frieza). His body had been bulky, though his muscles were shaped to physical perfection. The irises of his old eyes were... red. It was getting a little difficult to hit on any distinguishing characteristics beyond that. "Ok, I think I've got it."

"All right, then..." Glasses took a step back and shined his laser pointer at Ginyu, drawing another stick figure in light over top his form. The image lingered, then dissipated into a million thin streaks, all bolting into Ginyu. He lurched, cloud form pulsating and steadily becoming solid. Fluff became flesh, and Ginyu found himself whole.

He inspected his hands; they were still as broad as he remembered. He felt his face; rough skin and a strong jawline greeted him. He ran his fingers over his head; every vein was there and accounted for. He tapped his horns; two of them, as it should have been.

It wasn't until he patted his chest that he flinched disapprovingly. He was clad in his old armor, the armor of the Imperium Friezanum. "Hey," he began, addressed to no one in particular. "What gives? How come I ended up with this outfit?"

"Even the afterlife has a sense of decency to maintain," Glasses responded. "Whatever clothing was on the body last will be restored along with the body. It just makes things simple."

Ginyu snorted. Then, an idea hit him. "Say, can that little doohickey change clothes, too?"

The ogre pushed up his specs. "I'm afraid it's not a portable wardrobe," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Hey, King Kai! How's about doing him a good turn and doing that thing you do?" Goku piped up, feeling safe from the threat of reproach. "Y'know, that clothes beam with your feelers."

King Kai grumbled. He would really have to speak with Goku regarding his level of casualness in the near future. "Very well." The northern Kai's antennae whipped forward. "Your request?"

"Any chance you'd be able to set me up with standard issue armor from the third tribe of the moon of Planet Brench? I can think up a mental image if it'll help."

"Go for it. I'll do the rest."

Ginyu closed his eyes. "...Ok, ready."

With a glow at the tips of his antennae and a flash of light surrounding Ginyu, his old tainted armor was replaced with his requested set. A dark blue leotard hugged his muscular frame, cut low enough to be confused for a singlet at its top. Over this he wore a black shoulder guard and partial breastplate on his left side, matching wrist and leg braces and a pliable metal armband. A charcoal loincloth he sported was held in place by a black leather cinch belt, and the entire ensemble was accented with a sheathed shortsword at his hip.

"Ha! Law of matter conservation be damned!" Ginyu admired his new attire with an aggressive smile. "You got it right down to the last detail! Not too shabby, old timer!"

"Old timer! Unbelievable..." King Kai just shook his head and sighed. "But I guess I can't blame you... hee hee... for milking this for all it's worth! Bwa ha ha ha ha! Snort!"

A series of groans were never so well deserved. "...Well, anyway, you should be good to go now," Glasses began, eager to resume business. "Here, this is yours to use now. It's called the Life Pen. It's already been programmed to restore the bodies of your targets and only your targets. All you need do is aim it at the souls you intend to use it on, and draw a stick figure with the light it emits. Then, voila! The body is restored."

"Sounds simple enough." Ginyu took the implement from the ogre and tucked it safely behind his breastplate.

"Of course, you'll need to know where these souls are..." Glasses produced a map from his back pocket, unfolding it before the captain. "These four Xs? These mark the general areas in which they have been last seen. We typically separate villains with a team dynamic; it just cuts down on the likelihood of trouble making, you understand." Glasses paused to pull a red marker from his breast pocket.

"As you know, Hell is just below us. You'll probably have an easier time of things if you were to descend from here. It would put you in the center of the Bloody Lake region," He drew a red circle to represent Ginyu's starting point. "And as you can tell on the map, one of your targets has been spotted in that area."

"So long story short, if I jump from here, I oughta find one of my knuckle-headed boys there someplace. Good a deal as any. Thanks, Glasses." He folded up the map, placing it with the Life Pen, then turned back to the Kais. "I assume you guys have a way of monitoring all this, so feel free to check in whenever. I want to say I had a captive audience when the boys and I return to life triumphant." He showed a bit of tooth.

"Ha ha! Well, we certainly look forward to your progress." King Kai smiled politely.

"Good luck, Ginyu!" Goku raised his hand in a send off.

"Time's a wastin' now. If you want your triumph, the first part is to start!" South Kai crossed his arms and grinned.

Ginyu just chuckled, amused by the entire thing but very much eager to back up his boast. "Well, I'm off. Catch you at the winner's circle, babies!" And with that, he leapt from Snake Way, down into the swirling vortex that lead into the sinner's den. Though the winds whipped his body and stung his skin, the fact that he could even feel after all this time was worth the pain, and noted curiously that he had been cast into Hell for the second time in his afterlife.