2007 Home Improvement Special

Chapter 2: Halloween 2 1992

The Prank War

Off-screen happenings from Season 2

Jill rolled over in her sleep, early Halloween morning. The digital watch beside Tim's empty side of the bed read two-o-clock. A loud bang immediately sounded from outside, making Jill snap awake. "Tim," she called tiredly.

Tim knew she was awake, and this was why he was out of bed so early. Jill's ears picked a scratching from the window. She ignored it, and went back to sleep. Before she was asleep again, another scratch sounded. She got out of bed, annoyed. Not this early.

"Tim," she called again, out the window. She caught a green hand, feeling slimy. It had no body. "Tim!" she called.

"Yeah honey," Tim said from the bathroom. "Go back to bed."

"Wait, but then what's- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"And he got you," Wilson finished later that afternoon. "I feel for you Jill but as the poet"-

"Please Wilson, I don't have time for this," Jill said quickly. "Tim needs to be defeated. He went too far when he"- A loud scream came from the house. It was Randy's.

Jill looked at Wilson again, who guessed correctly, "Tim?"

Jill nodded. "It's amazing how he can plan for Brad's Halloween party and still find the time to scare the house half to death."

As Jill silenced his quoting once, Wilson decided not to comment. He nodded a good luck, and disappeared back inside. Jill turned and walked inside too. She had an idea…

"Tim," Jill's voice called from upstairs. "Can you come up and help with a tool?"

Tim smirked. Perfect. Just hours before the party. He seized the green hand he's been using to tease Jill all day. He'd love to open the door with the hand, and have another bodiless hand move towards her, even if it didn't scare her. He ran upstairs, grinning.

Out of the closet popped Al with Werewolf teeth. "WOOOOOOO!" Al tried howling lamely.

Tim stood there, with a what-the-hell look on his face. "Yeah, I thought you were one."

Brad seized Tim's shoulder from behind, but it still didn't work. Tim spun around and faced his older son, "You wanna try it one more time?"

"One move, and the tool gets it," a scratchy voice. Tim looked around again, expecting to see Jill. Instead, he saw a man with long hair on end, and a moustache. "Who are you supposed to be, Jill?"

"I know not anyone of that sexy name?" the man said scratchily. "I am a crazed tool fan."

"Oh, are you?" Tim grinned, willing to fall for it now.

"I am going to destroy this Tool if you don't give in to my demands," the scratched voice said.

"Hey, that's my Binford 6100 Power Chain Reciprocating Saw," Tim said. He then realized the seriousness of the situation. "Take whatever you want here, just don't touch my tools!"

Now was the climax. All Jill had to do was raise it up, above the stairs, as if about to drop it, and Tim would scream. Before she could do so though, a short figure fell from the attic.

"MARK!" she screamed in terror at the fake spider on his head.

"JILL!" Tim exclaimed. "I should've known only you would find your name sexy!" Tim yelled.

"MARK!" Jill yelled angrily.

"Sorry mom."

Brad started laughing at Jill. He clapped Mark's hand. "Awesome!"

"DAMN IT!" she yelled, and walked away, yelling, "This isn't over, Tim Taylor!"

Tim was left alone with Mark. "Well Mark, I'm afraid I'm going to have to prank you," Tim nodded, sadly walking towards him.

"Dad?"

"No, you know, I'm mad about pranking people and… no one is safe," Tim said hungrily.

Mark backed away, right into the open closet where Al popped from. He disappeared into the forest of clothes. Tim pulled the clothes out of the way, and yelled and jumped back when a spider jumped out at him.

Brad laughed ever harder. This wasn't Jill's victory. It was Mark's. Mark popped out from the closet, holding a fake spider. Tim shook his head angrily, playfully angrily, "I'm gonna get you, Mark. It doesn't matter you're my son."

Mark laughed his way trick-or-treating that night, telling Randy about what happened. Randy made a mental note to rub it in Tim's face when they got home. To make things even better… for one side… was when Mark went to bed that night, the same spider he used earlier jumped at him. He yelled and fell off the bed in fright, to meet another fake spider, jumping around.

Mark ran towards the door, to face a note:

Dear unlucky victim,

You have been pranked. If you have a feeling of fright right now, it's because I put the fear of God in you.

Tim Taylor: King of Pranks

"A toast to my victory," Tim announced, clinging glasses with Brad. "Long live Tim Taylor, King of Pranks!"

A/N: I have the next couple chapters planned as well. Isn't that great? Can't wait till next year. I seem to be having a signature statement this year, 'the fear of God.' It's a way of saying someone was scared out of hit wits. This special is my favorite one I wrote this year. I'll see ya on Christmas.