Vin leaned against the small wooden fence while he caught his breath. He had not intentionally made his way to Mistress Nettie's home but now that he was standing at the entrance to her garden he felt compelled to seek the woman out. In the short time he'd known the ancient, kindly herbalist she'd shown nothing but love and compassion for both him and his cousin. She was the grandmother that neither child had ever had and the only person that Vin could even consider sharing his holiday concerns with. But even with her, Vin would be cautious and choose his approach carefully. Only after he had his breathing under control and he was reasonably sure his face was clear of watery stains did he unlatch the gate and walk slowly up the stone path. He noticed that the window overlooking the garden was open just a bit and sniffing the air he caught the delicious aroma of freshly baked fruit pies.

Arriving at the door, Vin lifted his hand to knock but suddenly found himself facing a flour-dusted apron instead of the gaily-painted wood panel.

"Well it's about time. I though for a moment I was going to have to come out and get you." Mistress Nettie's voice may have sounded stern but the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes had Vin grinning in response. "It never fails. I can go a week without seeing hide nor hair of you and Jaydee but let me start baking and you're like bears to honey."

Vin stepped through the door but hesitated before moving further into the warm, fragrant kitchen. "If you're too busy..."

"Nonsense, child. Let the dough fall and the cookies burn; the butter melt and the milk to turn, for now and always, you are my one concern."

"Hey, that rhymed." Vin cocked his head to one side as he replayed the words in his head. He'd always had a fondness for lyrical phrases and had even tried creating some himself though he kept them a closely guarded secret. "Did you just make that up?"

Nettie's smile took on a slightly wistful cast as she moved back to her cluttered table. "Actually it was something my mother used to say and I just remembered it. So thank you, Vin, for reminding me of something precious that I had forgotten. And now that you have done something for me, what may I do for you?"

Giving a small shrug of his shoulders, Vin slowly paced around the kitchen taking in all the platters of bread, spice cakes and cookies. He realized that as much as Nettie liked to cook, this was still an unusual amount of food. "Are you having a party?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it a party but I certainly plan on having a few friends over the day of the festival. And one can't have guests and not feed them."

"Oh. The festival." Vin made his way back to the table where Nettie was busy dusting a tray of cookies with fine, white sugar. So, Mistress Nettie was going to celebrate too. And she was going to have some of her friends over to celebrate. Stifling a depressed sigh, Vin poked idly at a particularly ugly looking cookie that had missed getting a sweet coating.

"Now, now. No sampling. They may not look like much but these are treasure treats. An old family recipe and only made for this holiday."

Vin quickly snatched his hand back as if he'd been slapped. "I wasn't going to take one." Certainly not after being told they were holiday cookies and so not for elves or half-breeds.

Nettie felt a pang of guilt at the sad look on the child's face. She knew that Vin had a powerful sweet tooth and it had been more than a few days since his last visit. She didn't know if Chris kept any kind of sweets on his horse ranch but would guess not. "Vin..."

"Mistress Nettie? Are you in?" A brightly chiming bell and Ezra's raised voiced announced the arrival of the apprentice wizard through the front door of Nettie's herb shop. "Hello?"

"Hey! Nettie!" Jaydee's louder, more demanding voice echoed through the store.

Nettie picked up the cookie closest to Vin and pushed it into his hands. "Here now, this will be our little secret. Make sure you don't tell the other boys." She just couldn't help herself. No matter how she tried to deny it, Vin was her favorite and she couldn't bear the thought of sending him away empty handed. "I'll see what they want out front and give you time to eat it. Just make sure you break it open and don't bite directly into it." Thinking that Vin would still be there when she returned, Nettie hurried down the short hall that led from her living quarters to her small shop of medicinal herbs.

For a long, silent moment Vin stared down at the cookie in his hands. Any appetite he may have had was completely gone. Very slowly, very carefully he placed the cookie back on the platter then brushed the crumbs from his hands. It was nice of Nettie to have given it to him even knowing it was wrong and that she might get in trouble but the very thought of eating the holiday treat made his stomach churn. Turning away from the table Vin was about to head for the back door when he heard Jaydee's voice once more.

"...since he's half elf and can't celebrate with the rest of us."

Oh, that hurt. Knowing it in his head was one thing; hearing his cousin actually say the words was like a big fist, squeezing his heart. Vin hurried across the room, desperate to escape the painful truth. As he reached for the latch he caught the faint sound of Nettie's laughter. The fist around his heart suddenly turned into a dagger of ice at the shocking betrayal. How could she offer him a holiday cookie one moment and then laugh at him the next?

In the terrible wound left in his soul, a small seed of anger took root and began to grow at an incredible rate; fueled by years of doubt and fear. And where the worry of rejection had made him weak, this new emotion made him strong. Striding back to the loaded work table, Vin picked up the cookie that Nettie had given him plus one more just for spite and then left the kitchen without a backward glance.

"Mistress Nettie? Are you in?" Ezra peered around the cluttered herb shop as he stopped just inside the door. Jaydee pushed his way further in with an exasperated snort.

"Of course she's in, the door was unlatched." Raising his voice, Jaydee called out "Hey! Nettie!" He was just taking a breath to yell again when the curtain separating the shop from the rest of the house was pushed aside.

"That's quite enough yelling, thank you. I'm old and slow, not deaf."

Ezra flashed his toothiest grin and gave Mistress Nettie a courtly bow. "Good day to you, Mistress. And how are you on this fine winter morn?"

"My bones ache from the cold, the morning is half over and I've got pies in the oven that are going to burn if I don't go pull them out. Now is this a social call or have you got another case of the trots?"

The young apprentice blushed and tried to stammer out a reply but Jaydee beat him to it. "We ain't sick but we need your help and we don't have much time because it's only two days till the festival. And since you're probably the oldest person in town and you're loads smarter than anyone else we figured you'd be the best person to ask." Jaydee was fairly bouncing in place with pent up energy and his voice grew louder as he spoke. "We need to know what gods elves worship because we want to do something special for Vin since he's half elf and can't celebrate with the rest of us."

At first Nettie just stared at the two earnest boys and her smile quickly grew into a hearty laugh. Jaydee had managed to both insult and compliment her in one long breath. And while she was confused on a couple of points it sounded like Ezra and Jaydee were trying to arrange a surprise for Vin which was something she was more than willing to help with. "Well, first things first. You two wait here for just a moment while I go check on my pies." And at the same time she could make sure that Vin didn't make a sudden appearance and spoil whatever plans were being made.

Nettie was surprised and a little disappointed to find her kitchen empty. It wasn't like Vin to take off without saying goodbye. And she had gotten the impression that he wanted to talk about something that was troubling him. If she didn't know better, she would almost swear that Vin was avoiding his cousin and Ezra. "Well, whatever it is I'm sure it will all come out in the wash."

Once the pies were safely placed on cooling stones, Nettie collected her two young visitors and sat them down at the large wooden table in her kitchen so she could keep working while they talked.

"Now, what's this nonsense about Vin not celebrating the mid winter holiday?"

This time Jaydee remained silent while Ezra explained the facts, as they knew them. Nettie listened in silence as her hands kneaded and pounded yet another batch of seasoned bread dough.

"So you see, we felt that perhaps we could persuade Vin to remain in town with the rest of us if we found a way to include some kind of elven tradition. Our problem lies in that we have no idea what gods elves pray to or how they make their offerings."

Nettie placed her ball of dough on a platter to rise and then focused her entire attention on the two boys seated before her. "Jaydee, has Vin ever come right out and said that he didn't want to celebrate the holiday with you?"

"Well...no. Not exactly. But my mom said..."

"I'm sure your mother was a kind and loving woman and did only what she thought was best. But I also think that your mother listened to what other 'humans' told her and never asked an elf directly." Nettie arched an eyebrow at her guests as she added, "Kind of like you two are doing right now."

"Well, it's not like we didn't go looking for elves today." Ezra drew himself up stiffly as he defended his actions. "It's not our fault they have all left. Something which seems to only add credence to what Jaydee's mother told him."

Nettie shook her head and settled into a chair across from the boys. "But you didn't think to ask Vin himself what he wanted or what he believed in. Now I realize that he is half elf but he is also half human and it was his mother that raised him. Perhaps they did celebrate the holiday just the way we do or maybe his mother followed the elven traditions of Vin's father; problem is we don't know and we won't know unless we ask Vin." Nettie looked steadily at Jaydee as she continued. "Your mother probably tried very hard to make him as welcome as possible and avoided asking him any direct questions for fear he would get upset. But if you really want to do right by Vin you should talk to him and find out exactly how he feels about the holiday."

Ezra and Jaydee regarded each other solemnly across the table. Ezra finally shrugged his shoulders and Jaydee gave a nod of his head.

"Yes, we will talk to him. But for our own curiosity; do elves have gods they pray to?" The young apprentice wizard found his lack of knowledge annoying and a little embarrassing. He hated having to go to adults with questions that would make him seem stupid but he hated not knowing the answers even more.

"Elves do have a god and they do pray to him but their special day of celebration is in the spring when the first flowers bloom."

"So why does our winter festival upset them so much that they have to leave?" Jaydee hoped Nettie was right and his cousin would stay for the celebration but he had trouble believing it would be as easy as she made out.

Mistress Nettie shook her head and wiped the flour from her hands. "They don't leave because of our holiday. All the elves journey to their ancestral homes for a special ceremony that happens at about the same time as our midwinter festival. It has nothing to do with gods or being offended."

"What kind of ceremony?"

"I'm not sure of the details but I know it has to do with giving thanks for the stars. I think they hang candles in the trees around their homes and keep a vigil throughout the night."

The two boys shared an incredulous look, both of them thinking the same thought. What was so great about the stars that the elves would feel it necessary to set aside a special night just to give thanks? Jaydee was about to question Nettie further when Ezra suddenly stood and began edging for the door.

"Well, you have been most helpful, Mistress Nettie and we do thank you for your assistance. But obviously we are keeping you from your work and so we really should be going. Come along, Jaydee; I still have that last gift to purchase and Josiah will be looking for my return."

"Oh, yeah; I'd forgotten about that. Thanks, Nettie. We'll see you again soon."

Mistress Nettie followed the two boys to the front door and watched them hurry down the street. As they turned a corner she was suddenly struck by a troubling thought. 'I wonder if that was the reason Vin had come to see me. Maybe there really is something about the holiday that bothers him?' As she returned to her shop, Nettie promised herself that she would make time to visit Chris the next day. Ezra and Jaydee meant well, but it would probably be best to warn the ranger of the possibility of trouble.

Vin strode down the road, his head held high and his gaze defiant. When he'd left Mistress Nettie's he'd automatically headed for the trail that would take him away from the town and its crowded, festive streets. But then he'd thought, 'Why should I have to sneak around? I live here too. I have a right to go wherever I want. And if I can't join in the festival then so what? Who cares about a bunch of bells and cedar branches anyway?' So he'd turned and made his way to the road that would take him right through the heart of the small town.

At first, the muscles in his shoulders had been tense and his stomach tight with nervousness. But as he continued to pass the shops and human pedestrians without incident he grew more confident. No one challenged his presence or yelled insults at him. And so what if smiles turned to frowns when directed his way. Let them scowl and talk behind his back if it pleased them.

It never occurred to Vin that some of the faltering smiles were caused by his own angry glare; and for some adults, an honest concern for a child obviously troubled. He held firmly to the belief that he was unwelcome in the town of Four Corners during its time of celebration and continued his silent march of defiance.

There was no denying the giddy sense of relief as he passed the smithy marking the edge of the town. His angry march turned into a more relaxed stride as he turned off the main road onto a well-beaten path that curved sharply before crossing a small wooden bridge spanning a shallow stream. This path would take him along the forest edge and eventually to the Ranger's holding. It would have been quicker to cut through the woods at this point but Vin was in no hurry to see the decorations that he knew Chris and the others were bound to have hung up. He guessed it would be just like the one season he'd spent with Jaydee's mom; everyone doing their best to celebrate 'around' the half-elf that wasn't supposed to be there. He imagined Chris handing him a present and making up an excuse for the giving. It was no wonder all the elves left before the holiday.

Vin's steps slowed even further as he came to the depressing realization that it would be better for everyone if he also left town until after the celebration was over. But where to go in the middle of winter? Unbidden, his cousin's words from that morning returned to his thoughts. 'I think maybe you left it in our cave. Do you think we could go back and get it?' Of course, the cave! It would still have a small supply of wood and he needed only take a blanket and enough food to last a few days. It was the perfect solution. Vin's steps faltered. Yeah, it would solve everyone's problem; the problem of him being only half human. Giving another sigh, Vin focused his thoughts on the task of gathering supplies as he resumed his walk home, unaware of the anger filled eyes that watched him from the shadows of the woods.

"You forgot your own mother?!"

"Yes, well this is my first season actually purchasing gifts." Ezra huffed as he carefully nestled the fragile ceramic statuette in the crook of his arm. "And I did remember in advance of the actual day so it is not like I truly forgot." He scowled at Jaydee's snort of disagreement. "Regardless, I now have her present so we may return to your home and commence with our preparations for the holiday."

Jaydee chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip as he followed his friend down the street. After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke his concern aloud. "Are you sure we shouldn't do what Nettie said and just ask Vin? What if we get it wrong? We could make things even worse."

"I hardly see how things could possibly become worse. And bear in mind we will be enlisting Josiah, Buck and Chris' aid in this endeavor so if there are objections to be raised I am sure they will not hesitate to do so."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am. Now, if you will please increase your pace to that of a bred mount and not a draft horse we may actually make it back in time to eat some lunch before my afternoon lessons begin."

"Can't you just say, 'Hurry up, Jaydee, I'm hungry'?"

"I believe I just did."

Chris frowned and looked to Josiah who could only shrug his shoulders.

"I've heard that the elves give thanks for the stars and it has something to do with how they arrived in this land but I don't know any more details than what Ezra just told you. As to Vin being bothered by the mid winter celebration... I suppose its possible."

"We have Jaydee's first hand account from the one winter Vin spent with him and his mother." Ezra quickly spoke up to add further weight to his argument.

"I guess we could just come right out and ask Vin how he feels about it..."

Chris shook his head at the wizard's suggestion. "Like as not he would say what he thought we wanted to hear. He's still too insecure and unsure of his place here." The ranger began pacing in front of the fireplace, his head bowed in thought. Truth was it had been at least a double handful of years since the last time he had truly celebrated the winter festival. He had stopped making offerings to the gods after his first real battle when he'd decided that life and death were controlled more by mortal hands than whims of invisible beings. He'd turned his back to them completely after the death of his wife and child.

It had been Buck that had first mentioned the approaching celebration, explaining his plans to give Jaydee a puppy. Chris had been working on his surprise for Vin for several weeks by then and had agreed that the festival would be the perfect time to present it. Neither man had considered decorations or holy offerings until Josiah had spoken with them regarding his own plans for Ezra. Now, what had seemed like a good idea might very well be driving Vin from his home.

Buck shifted uneasily in his chair next to the table. It bothered him to see his best friend wracked by doubt and he felt more than a little responsible because honestly, he had been as excited as Jaydee by the decorations and extravagant foods. The green branches and red ribbons brought back fond memories of peaceful winters spent with his own mother. And maybe he'd been selfish, wanting to recapture some of those memories and share them with the young boys.

Finally it was Jaydee who broke the tense silence with an exasperated sigh and a noticeable whine in his voice. "If we can't ask Vin then what can we do? Do we have to take the decorations down? And what about the surprise that Ezra thought of? Can we still do that?"

Chris stopped his pacing and let out a small sigh of his own. "I think Ezra's idea has merit; if he and Josiah can work out the details. I even know the perfect tree for you to use. We can take a walk out there right after lunch. As for the decorations, we'll leave them up for now. I'll talk to Vin alone tonight and explain that we don't want him to be upset and try to make him understand that it really is okay if he doesn't want to join in the celebration but that we'd like him to stay."

Everyone felt a sense of relief with Chris taking charge and making plans. The tense and gloomy atmosphere lightened considerably and soon Jaydee was once again his usual, energetically cheerful self. Food was placed on the table amidst happy chatter of holiday's past and future. Chris was just about to step outside to call for Vin when the door opened and the young half-elf walked in. Everyone stopped talking and looked at the new arrival who stood silently waiting just inside the threshold. There was an awkward moment of shared guilt and uncertainty and the silence seemed to echo through the room.

Vin's eyes darted from one person to another and for a few thumping heartbeats he actually felt the urge to turn and run.

"There you are." Everyone gave a twitch of surprise when Chris suddenly spoke. "Lunch is ready. Josiah and Ezra are staying to eat with us. Hang up your cloak and then come sit down." There was a brief, tense pause and then Vin gave a small nod of his head and began unfastening his cloak.

Chris turned his back to the room to hide the grimace of anger he couldn't control. He swore to himself that he would personally rip down and burn every fragment of greenery in the house if that was what it would take to keep from seeing the haunted look of doubt and fear on Vin's face ever again. He would definitely sit down and have a private talk with his ward that night and in the meantime he would do everything he could to help Ezra and Jaydee with their surprise. Squaring his shoulders and forcing a bland expression on his face, the ranger rejoined his adopted family gathered round the table.

He'd stood for a long moment outside the house, looking at the shining brass bell hanging next to the door, debating whether or not he should walk around to the kitchen entrance. But inside would be the evergreen branches and bright ribbons; candles on the mantle and somewhere a small wooden altar for making offerings to the gods. Ezra and Jaydee were inside; he knew that because he'd been lurking in the shadows of the barn when they'd returned from their visit to Mistress Nettie. They had approached the house side by side, Jaydee talking excitedly about some idea he had for gifts for Buck and the others while Ezra had nodded and shaken his head in response to different queries.

For the second time Vin had felt an uncomfortable feeling of anger and even jealousy. Jaydee was 'his' cousin and best friend. He wasn't supposed to go off and make festival plans with Ezra. It didn't seem fair, just because both of Jaydee's parents were human. The anger had built as he imagined them inside the warm house, laughing and talking to Buck and Chris, surrounded by the decorations and making plans for the celebration. Once more the emotion had given him the strength to take action and he'd marched to the door determined to confront his so-called family. But there his courage had failed him with the glint of sunlight from the small, golden bell.

How long he'd actually stood there he couldn't say, but it was long enough for him to go over his careful plans for leaving two more times and replace the anger with a sad but determined acceptance of the facts. Jaydee was human. Chris, Buck, Josiah, Ezra, Nathan and Nettie were all human. He didn't doubt their friendship, not really. But the mid-winter festival was for humans. And he was only a half breed. He was sure that as soon as the holiday was past everything would get back to normal and it would be a whole year before he'd have to leave again. And maybe as he got older it would get easier. And then of course one day he'd be on his own and it wouldn't even matter.

So, taking a deep breath Vin had opened the door and stepped through hearing Jaydee's rapid speech and Josiah talking to Ezra about crystals while Chris asked the room in general who wanted white bread and who wanted dark. For one brief moment he'd felt a sense of relief at how normal it was but then all eyes had turned to him and silence had fallen. Smiles faltered. Hand's stilled. Vin caught glimpses of decorative greenery as he'd looked around the room at the staring faces. Run! His mind had shouted. Then Chris had spoken in his calm but commanding voice and Vin had found himself gratefully following instructions.

Sitting at the table next to Jaydee, he quietly ate his lunch and listened to the others talking about such trivial things like the weather and the chores that needed doing. Whose turn it was to fill the wood bin and the water barrel. Whether or not there were any winter nuts left in the forest or if the squirrels had gotten them all. Vin kept his head down but was aware of the quick glances cast his way and knew that everyone was being very careful to talk about anything except the upcoming festival. The food was tasteless in his mouth and the water did nothing to quench his thirst. Everyone seemed to be eating as quickly as possible and it was a relief when Jaydee jumped up and announced he was finished.

Chris pushed his plate away, never before so glad to see the end of a meal. "Well, I need to go check the fence on the west side. A tree came down in that area and I need to make sure the limbs haven't damaged the rails."

"Ezra and I need to leave as well. We are going to do a little field work for his lesson today and need to find someplace secluded." Josiah and his apprentice stood and followed Chris to the door.

"Well, I promised Mistress Inez that I would come take a look at her roof. She's afraid that last storm might have cracked some slates." Buck grabbed his cape and pulled it across his broad shoulders with an extra flourish. "And afterwards I might just be invited to stay for dinner, so don't look for me before dark."

Jaydee bounced in place as he waited for a chance to take his cloak down from the wall pegs. "And I've got to...uh...feed the chickens. Cause I forgot again."

Chris paused just inside the door and turned to Vin who was still seated at the table with a bemused look on his face. "Vin, would you mind cleaning up the dishes? I know it's Jaydee's turn but he can do it the next two times, alright?"

Vin nodded silently and stood to begin gathering the plates. He heard the door close behind him and the latch fall into place with a loud 'clack' that sent a shudder through his slight frame. For the first time since coming to live with the rangers he felt cut off and alone. He had a sudden urge to run after Chris and apologize for being born a half-breed and swear to do anything necessary if only he could stay with his family. He found himself reaching toward the door handle while still clutching a cup in his hand. The absurdity made him pause and he was able to reassert some self-control. Taking a deep, calming breath, Vin forced himself to turn and finish his task of clearing the table.

As he carried a stack of plates to the wash bucket, Vin spotted a pair of well-worn leather gloves lying on the bench by the door. He recognized them instantly as the ones Chris always wore when working on the ranch and his heart leaped at the sudden opportunity. Now he had a good reason for following after the ranger. And maybe once they were alone together he could find a way to convince Chris that he would not ruin the festival if he were allowed to stay. Setting the dishes on the bench, Vin snatched up the gloves and practically dove through the door, forgetting his cloak in his rush.

He knew exactly where the tree had fallen and the most direct path for reaching the fence. His feet flew across the ground as he ran through the yard, barely slowing when he entered the forest and the leaf covered trail. The path took a sharp turn to the left as it crested a small rise and Vin skidded as he hit a small patch of hidden frost. Falling forward, he landed heavily on his stomach and was momentarily stunned as the breath was forced from his lungs. Slowly gathering himself up and rising to his hands and knees, the boy froze as he heard an unexpected sound. Laughter?

Moving off the trail, Vin made his way quietly from tree trunk to tree trunk, sure that not only was he hearing Jaydee's laugh but also Josiah's deep rumbling voice. He paused behind a particularly thick oak and peered cautiously around the side. Once again his breath escaped his lips in a rush but this time it was a gasp of surprise. There on the trail stood Chris talking and laughing with Josiah, Ezra and Jaydee. And even as Vin watched, Buck approached them from the side and it was obvious that they had been waiting on his arrival. Vin was too far away to hear what they were saying but it was as plain as the nose on his face and the points on his ears that this was a planned meeting and that he had been purposefully excluded.

This time the anger came faster and stronger then ever before. "Fine." Vin muttered to himself. "I don't care. Let them have their holiday. I don't need it or them." He watched as Chris led the others deeper into the woods and his resolve to leave strengthened with each step they took. "Just . . .just fine."

Vin returned to the trail and made his way slowly back to the house. He stepped over the dropped gloves without really seeing them, his thoughts once more focused on the supplies he needed to gather. The list had become considerably longer as Vin was not sure exactly how long he would stay away. Or for that matter, if he would even return. From the darkest shadows, small, red-rimmed eyes watched the boy leave the woods. Now? No. But soon. Very, very soon.

They hadn't planned on staying gone so long but the sun was touching the tops of the nearby hills when Chris and the others began making their way back to the house. If anything, Jaydee was even more excited about the upcoming celebration and he bounced in circles around Buck as they discussed the different foods they both looked forward to eating. Ezra and Josiah were lost in a heated discussion about the amount of power needed for a certain type of spell and whether or not the wording could be changed and still produce the same results. Chris walked ahead of the others, lost in his own pleasant thoughts and the warm glow from the praise his friends had showered on him at the sight of Vin's surprise. But he was still a ranger and years of fighting meant he was always on alert and watchful of his surroundings.

At first he wasn't sure what he was looking at but as he drew closer he realized that it was a pair of leather gloves lying on the trail. And not just any gloves; they were his work gloves. What were they doing here?

"Chris? What are you looking at?"

"My gloves." Chris held them up so Buck and the others could see.

"You must have dropped them on our way out. Getting careless in your old age."

Chris shook his head. "No, I didn't bring them. I left them sitting..." He turned and looked in the direction of the house. "On the bench by the door."

"But then how did they get here?" Buck suddenly found himself talking to empty air as Chris started jogging down the trail.

Ezra frowned and turned to Josiah. "What's so important about his gloves?"

The sorcerer shook his head. "I'm not sure. Buck?"

"If he left the glove in the house, which means that someone carried them out here. And then..." Buck paused and studied the ground at his feet. "Looks like that someone fell and dropped the gloves."

"But, wouldn't that 'someone' have to be Vin?" Jaydee saw the looked exchanged between Josiah and Buck and felt the muscles in his stomach tighten. "What? Has something happened to him?" Without waiting for an answer, Jaydee began running toward the house.

"Jaydee! Wait! We don't know that for sure. Pits!" Buck threw an exasperated glance to Josiah and then took off after his ward.

"Well, I suppose we should make haste as well." Ezra tried to appear calm but Josiah could see the worry in his green eyes. Resting his hand on the boy's shoulder, he guided him in quick but controlled walk up the trail.

"Here's another important lesson for you, Ezra; it won't do you any good to run somewhere if you're out of breath when you arrive."

"Why is that?"

"Because it's hard to say a spell correctly when you're gasping for air."

"Vin! Vin?" Chris threw open the back door and froze at the darkness within. None of the lamps were lit and the fire had died away to a bed of glowing embers. The only light in the house came from the un-shuttered windows and that was little more than a dim glow because of the clouds obscuring the setting sun. Chris swallowed the knot of fear that formed in his throat. Stepping into the room, his gaze took in the table still covered with dirty dishes and the remains of their lunch. Looking down, he saw a cup and a plate sitting on the bench in the spot where he'd left his gloves. "Vin?"

Pounding footsteps had the ranger spinning and dropping into a defensive crouch.

"Where's Vin? Is he okay? What are you doing?" Jaydee skidded to a confused stop in front of the door.

Ignoring the questions, Chris stood and headed for the stairs leading to the second level.

There were four rooms upstairs, one each for Buck and Chris and one with two small cots for Vin and Jaydee. The fourth room had been converted into a kind of playroom, which the boys used when the weather was bad enough to keep them inside. All four doors stood open and the rooms beyond were shrouded in darkness.

"Vin?" Chris peered into the room shared by the two boys. Even in the dim lighting he immediately spotted the empty brackets on the wall opposite the door. He'd fixed those metal hooks in place for the sole purpose of holding Vin's bow and quiver of arrows which never left the house except in the hands of their young owner. If they were gone that meant...

Buck found Jaydee standing just inside the door, his arms wrapped tightly around his chest as if he were trying to hold himself together. He also noticed the dark and silent house and understood immediately what it meant. Still he looked hopefully to the stairs when he heard the sound of footsteps descending.

"Chris?"

"His bow and arrows are gone. So is the leather brace I fixed for his back. There's a blanket missing from his bed and his cloak isn't hanging up. Check the pantry and see how much food is missing."

Not 'if' there was food gone but how much. Buck numbly lit the nearest lamp and did as he was told. "A double wedge of cheese, the remains of the dark bread and a handful of dried beef. Some apples, not sure how many and maybe some nuts. There's a pouch missing so he might have taken some oats as well. Yeah, there's a small pot gone too."

Chris nodded and began buckling on his sword that he'd apparently retrieved from his room. "Four, maybe five days worth if he rations it. More if he also hunts."

Josiah and Ezra arrived just as Chris was drawing his blade to check its edge. The sorcerer frowned in confusion.

"Vin's gone? Because of the festival?"

"Nettie told us to just ask him!" Jaydee startled everyone with his angry shout. Glaring at the others as he wiped the tears from his cheeks, the angry child continued his accusation. "We should have done what she said and then he wouldn't have left. But it's too late now. He's gone."

Ezra stepped back and shook his head in denial. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. He had it all figured out. He and Josiah would arrange the surprise and Chris would talk to Vin. He couldn't be gone. But if he was then. . ."It's my fault."

"Now, Ezra. . . " Josiah reached out for his pupil but Ezra would not allow himself to be comforted.

"No! Don't you see? It was my idea; looking for elves, talking to Nettie and then making the surprise. Jaydee is right. We should have gone to Vin right from the start. And now. . . "

"It's not too late."

Everyone turned to stare at Chris who had re-sheathed his sword and was moving toward the door.

Buck stepped deliberately into his path. "Wait a minute, Chris. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find Vin! What do you think...?"

"I know what you want to do. What I'm asking you is 'where' are you going to look? In case you haven't noticed it's dark out there now and from what I can see Vin must have left at least a candle mark ago."

Chris snarled and jerked his arm free of his friend's grip. "I know exactly when he left. Want me to tell you what happened?" The ranger looked around at the others and held up his leather gloves. "We all left, supposedly on different errands. Vin starts cleaning up and sees my gloves lying on the bench and thinks I must have forgotten them. He picks them up and heads for the trail he knows I'll take. I bet he ran to try and catch up with me. He drops the gloves when he falls and as he's getting back up he hears voices. Our voices. And he finds us all together laughing and talking when we were each supposed to be going a
different way. We lied to him. We put him off. We shut him out of our plans. Whether or not he wanted to stay doesn't matter. We showed him that we didn't want him around." Chris glared at his friend. "And that's when he left."

"But that's not true!" Jaydee had fallen silent during Chris' story but his sobs quickly resumed. "I want him to stay! I don't care about the presents! I just want all of us to be together. Like a real family."

"We will be together, when I bring him back."

"Chris, wait." Josiah stepped forward and placed himself in front of the door. "Buck is right. It is dark and you don't know where to begin looking. Think for a moment. We all know that Vin is a survivor. He took care of Jaydee for almost two years. I'm sure he..."

"The cave." Chris interrupted the wizard and turned to Jaydee. "Do you think Vin might have gone back to the cave where you were living?"

"Yeah! We were talking about it this morning." The boy's face broke into a happy grin. "He must have gone there."

"So we'll look there first." Chris motioned toward the door. "We can get some lanterns from the barn and Jaydee can show us the way."

"Uh...I don't think I can find it in the dark." Jaydee shrugged his shoulders apologetically. "Vin can see real good at night so if we were out late he always took me by the hand and lead me to it. I know I could find it in the morning."

"C'mon, Chris," Buck rested his hand on the ranger's shoulder. "Vin took lots of supplies and like Josiah said, he's survived on his own before. He'll be fine this one night and we can head out first thing in the morning. We'll have him home in time for lunch."

Realizing he had no choice, Chris silently nodded his head in defeat. Clinching the gloves tightly in his fist, he turned and made his way back upstairs to his room.

Buck escorted Josiah and Ezra to the front door and bid them a good night. The two did not leave before promising to return just before dawn. Even Ezra did not hesitate to agree despite the early hour.

As the door closed behind them, Ezra turned to his mentor. "Do you really believe that Vin is all right? And will he come back tomorrow with Chris?"

Josiah paused to bring the crystal in his staff to glowing life before answering. "I think that Vin knows how to take care of himself. I think that if he made it safely to his cave then he is fine and will remain that way until we find him tomorrow. As to whether or not he returns, I believe that if any one can convince him that he is wanted here, that person is Chris."

A harsh cry pulled Vin's thoughts back from the day's trying events. Looking up, he spotted a large bird circling overhead. He smiled as he remembered the words to one of Josiah's short poems.

"They are winter crows,
Sharp of beak and dark of wing,
Calling for the snow."

Vin's smile faltered as he shifted his gaze from the bird to the clouds. Yes, there would be snow and perhaps it was not so far off as he had first thought. And he still had a ways to travel before he reached the safety of the cave.

Rising slowly to his feet, Vin looked once more to the rangers' house sitting near the woods. He wondered if Chris and the others had returned yet and discovered him gone. Were they relieved? Were they sitting around the table making more holiday plans, happy that they didn't have to worry about him overhearing or trying to join in?

Vin tried to turn, to look away but his body seemed as frozen as the ground. He struggled to find the anger that had given him strength before but all he found was a deep feeling of loneliness and sorrow. "I don't care." He tried speaking out loud, hoping that hearing the words would make them more believable. "I don't care about the decorations or the food. I don't want to listen to a Harper sing or to swap presents. Besides, I don't have anything to give Chris or the others even if I did stay. I can't buy gifts like Ezra and I'm not smart enough to make things like Jaydee. It's better that I'm leaving. And when I come back everything will be just like it was before." Except he knew in his heart it wouldn't be and all his words were lies.

Wiping a tear from his cheek, Vin finally broke down and spoke the truth in his heart. "I don't want to leave. I want to stay and be treated just like Jaydee and Ezra. I don't want to be half elven. I don't want to be different. I want. . . I want to stay. With Chris. And be human. And maybe then he would . . would.."

He couldn't say it. Not out loud. He didn't even dare finish the thought in his mind. It was asking too much. It was a dream that would never come true. Impossible. But his heart knew the truth and ached with the wanting of it.

Instead of anger it was finally despair that allowed him to look away from the ranger's house; the only place his heart considered home. Vin retrieved his pack and bow from where they rested at his feet and turned his back on the town below where already candles were being lit to fight off the encroaching darkness. He walked slowly away from the only family he knew and he could not say for sure if he would ever return.