2

An Unquiet Mind

A year previous

The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tale Land:

Though she still felt numb and her heart was shattered inside, Belle managed to focus on one thing as they traveled to the Queen's castle. The fact that Rumple might not be dead. After all, he had died as the Dark One, and the Dark One was immortal unless someone killed him and took the power of the dagger. And since Rumple's death had been his own sacrifice, perhaps . . . just perhaps . . . there was a chance he could come back again. Necromancy was the forbidden art, even among the dark magic wielders, but surely this was not a true death?

Shivering slightly, she turned to the one other person who mourned Rumple truly, his son Neal, or Bae, as she had started to think of him since it was his true name, and murmured, "You know, I don't think he's really dead. I mean, we never saw his knife."

Bae looked startled. "You don't? But Belle, we saw him die . . ."

"I know, but if he's truly gone, where's the dagger? It's missing. We need it to see if his name is erased from it," she pointed out. "And if not . . . there's a chance we could get him back."

"Get him back?" Bae sputtered. "Belle, you're talking about raising the dead. Even I know that's forbidden!"

"Not if the person didn't really die," Belle answered. "And I don't believe he did, Bae. I really don't."

"You're grieving. You're grasping at straws," he began gently.

"No. I know it might seem that way, but . . . I have a feeling that he's still cursed and if so, he can't die until someone kills him with the dagger or someone breaks its power. And neither of those things happened, so . . ."

"Okay, let's just say he's not really dead," Bae mused, a flicker of hope burning in him. "Then where the hell's the dagger?"

"I wish I knew," Belle muttered. Because that was the question of the hour. And it was one she had no answer to.

Page~*~*~*~Break

A day later:

Baelfire was rather ticked off at the moment. He had suggested to Charming that they stop off at the Dark Castle, because he wanted to check there and see if the dagger had somehow appeared there, because it seemed a logical thing to assume, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt Belle was right in her theory. And if she was, and his father could be brought back from limbo or whatever you called it, then Rumple could help him find a way back to Emma and Henry.

He couldn't believe after all they been through that the Charmings were just going to . . . let them go. That they were going to trust Regina, who had done more to screw up their family and wreck their lives than anyone, and just say, okay they're gone and that's that. Well it wasn't for him. If there was one thing Bae had learned from Rumple was that there was always a way to do what people said was impossible. His father had done it by creating the Dark Curse. Baelfire resolved he could do it too, because why shouldn't he? What had happened occurred because of Pan's vengeful nasty ways and Regina's carelessness in leaving a curse out for all to see in her crypt, like it was a list of things to do. When Bae had found that out he'd wanted to hit himself in the forehead. That was a dumbass move that an apprentice would have made, not a supposedly full-fledged mistress of the dark arts! Rumple had never left any of his important or deadly magical items just lying around, and not just because he'd had a child in his castle either! It was because his father was careful and a bit paranoid.

But Regina had grown careless and now this was the result.

It irked him that David was so willing to just say he should leave her be that it was for the best. It had taken all his self-control not to sneer in the other man's face—really, dearie? Best for whom? You really want to let them just forget we ever existed? What magic did, magic can undo. That's a truth as old as the beginning of this world. And I'm not going to give up my family on Regina's say so! It was her fault Pan re-cast the curse, and if she wants to play martyr, fine and dandy, but I'm going to get my son and Emma back, come hell or high water. And you can either help me or get the hell out of the way, Your Highness!

He knew that Belle had the same determination as he did, and she could help him, for she was not just an empty-headed beauty, she was intelligent beyond words, his father had said so many times, and Rumple was no dumb bunny himself. Bae smiled sardonically. There was an old saying—if you want something done, go do it yourself. And that's what he was going to do.

He was tired of following along at Charming's heels, like a good little lapdog. Charming wasn't his prince, he'd not sworn fealty to him, and he didn't have to accept the man's choices either. Or his leadership. But right now there was safety in numbers. So he'd wait till they got closer to the Dark Castle before splitting away from the main company. None of them cared about Rumple's sacrifice anyhow, they were all too concerned about getting to the Queen's former residence and starting over. Well, Bae wasn't starting over without Emma and Henry.

He sidled closer to Belle and murmured, "Hey, Belle. What do you say if, in a day or two, we blow this popsicle stand?"

Belle frowned. "We what? What's a popsicle stand?"

"Err . . . that's right, you wouldn't know. It's an expression, it means let's get the hell out of here and do what we want to do. I don't trust Regina and I don't trust anyone who just follows blindly after her. Besides, we've got our own agenda, right? We've got to get my father back, and after that I've got to find a way back to Emma and Henry, because no way am I losing them all over again. Twice was enough!"

Belle stared into his eyes and thought that never had Baelfire reminded her more of Rumple than at that moment. For here was a man willing to walk through the gates of hell for his family. She laid a hand on his arm. "Okay. When do we leave?"

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Belle and Baelfire reached the Dark Castle late in the afternoon the next day. They had bid goodbye to everyone the next morning, after being joined by Robin and his band of Merry Men. Now Bae felt comfortable enough to leave knowing the main party was in good hands with the outlaw and his men, who were superb trackers, archers, and survivalists. They didn't need him and Belle, and they had more important things to do, especially after learning that Regina's castle was being occupied by a witch.

Bae knew better than to get involved between feuds with magic users. Inevitably, there was collateral damaged and he'd rather not risk getting barbecued when he needed to stay whole and healthy. Besides, this witch was probably an old enemy of Regina's, and he'd had enough of old enemies. The Dark Castle was where he needed to be right now.

It had started to snow lightly as they made their way up through the courtyard with the old fountain and Belle spoke the password to unlock the doors and go inside. It was several degrees warmer in here, though until they got a fire going, it wouldn't be feasible to search for anything yet.

She spoke another word and the lights came on, so at least they could see where they were going.

Beside her, Bae stamped his boots and shook off the snow from his cloak. "It's colder than a witch's heart in here," he muttered. "Let me get a fire going." He moved over to the large fireplace in the great room, taking some flint and steel from his belt pouch.

While he tried to coax a blaze from the dry tinder on the hearth, Belle moved over to the spinning wheel still resting in front of the fire and put her hand on it. How many times had she seen Rumple sit here, spinning straw into gold? She could hear the familiar creaks and squeaks the wheel made as it turned, and see his slender hands feeding the straw into it, and suddenly tears were flowing down her face.

She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle a sob.

Suddenly arms came around her and held her.

"Hey. It's gonna be okay. We'll get him back, Belle," Bae soothed, hugging her.

But even as he spoke those hopeful words, grief rose and ambushed him as well, and he hugged the woman who might have been his stepmother had he never gone through that portal and together they cried for the loss of the one man who they had loved and who was now lost to them. Somehow it seemed fitting that their journey begin with tears, though hopefully it wouldn't end that way.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

The next day, after breakfast, Belle and Bae canvassed the castle, searching high and low for the dagger, but finding it nowhere. They ended up in the library after some more fruitless searching, and Bae stared in awe at all the books. "Whoa! It's like the New York Public Library in here. When did this get here? I don't remember it being here when I was here."

"That's because your father built it for me," Belle explained. "As a gift. It was then that I started to see the good man beneath the curse . . . and started to fall in love with him as well."

Bae sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's the thing I had trouble with. Believing that good man was still there somehow. I kind of lost my perspective after I fell through the portal and all. All I had was my anger at the way things turned out. I never really gave him a chance to talk with me, I behaved like an idiot, I let my anger dictate my actions, and that was wrong. In a way, I behaved like my mother, and that's not who I ever want to be like."

This was the first time Belle had ever heard him speak of his mother, and she said, "So you don't . . . blame him for what he did then?"

"For what? Causing her death? Belle, I barely knew the bitch. She abandoned me when I was four to run off with Hook. Hook told me before he sold me out to the Lost Boys about her death. I think he was hoping to get me to hate my father by doing so, but he forgets what she did to me . . . and if you think I was mad when my papa let me go through that portal, I'm twice as angry with her for deliberately skiving off like that. Matter of fact, she's why I was so angry with Papa, because it felt like twice I was abandoned by both my parents. And I don't care what excuse she had for doing so, the fact is she chose another man and her own damn pleasure over me and my father, who busted his ass to give her and me whatever he could. I might not remember much about those days, but dammit I remember who was there for me and who wasn't. Killian tried to make excuses for her, but I never bought them. And Papa told me on the Jolly Roger after we saved Henry about that day, and how he was never intending to kill her, he did it because he lost control after she kept making excuses to him about why she left me, and choosing a man like Hook over me, which, to him, was unforgivable. He snapped and well, he was a dark sorcerer, and you don't screw with him like that. I can't even say honestly I'm sad she died, because she was dead to me the day she walked out on me. Dead and gone, and she reaped what she sowed. I think the only one she ever loved was Killian."

"I think maybe you're right. And how do you feel about Hook?"

"Honestly? I looked up to him once, when I was a kid, until he sold me out. Now I just want him to get the hell away from me and my family. I know he thinks he has a thing for Emma, and I can't say I blame him, because she's a beautiful woman, and she's a wonderful person, better than me, but she's not for him, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand there and watch him steal her away from me, like he did to my mama. No offense to my papa either, I know he couldn't save her, because she never wanted to be saved in the first place."

Belle nodded. "Hook is not the most trustworthy of men. He tried to kill me at least three times, you know."

"Yeah, and that's another thing that pisses me off. He had no reason to go after you when it was Papa he had a problem with. Then again, it's lucky he was so inept at doing so, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now," Bae smiled at her.

"And it's a good thing I am, because otherwise you'd be stuck going through the library all by yourself."

Bae whistled. "Where do we start?"

"One shelf at a time," Belle said. Then she went and started scanning them. "You know, I always loved your father, Bae. Even when he was the Dark One. And I still love him that way. Even the dark part."

"But don't you want to break his curse?"

"Of course I do. But if we can't, I'll still love him, and try to keep him from making poor choices because of his cursed nature."

"He really loved you, Belle. I never realized how much until I heard him on the phone with you that day. It was that which made it possible for me to believe he really had changed, that the good man was still there despite the Dark One curse. Your love . . . made him remember who he really was."

"I know," Belle paused to wipe a tear from her eye. "Out of all three of the women in his life, I think I was the one who really loved him, just him, and not what he could do for me or give to me. And my heart broke into pieces when he . . .sacrificed himself that day."

"Then it didn't surprise you? That he did something like that?"

"No. Because it's the core of who he is, Bae. When he took on the curse of the Dark One, who'd he do it for? It wasn't for power, not for himself."

"No. It was for me . . . and to save all those kids thrown into a war we couldn't possibly win," Bae admitted heavily. "And I've always felt guilty for that. But like I said, it was easier to get mad at him for what happened than to understand why he did it, and know that he still loved me. Then again, I've always been a screwed up mess. Emma's the only one who really understood me. Like you and Papa."

"And we'll find a way to get you home to them, Bae." Belle said reassuringly. "Now, since we can't find the dagger right now, what do you say we look for a book about the Dark One curse? There has to be something here that explains how he came into being and how to resurrect him."

"Yeah, but how do we find it? This could take days . . . weeks . . ." Bae groaned.

"Let's get some more light in here," she suggested, going to the candelabra on the desk and lighting it with some matches she found upon the desk beside it.

As she lit the last candle on the candelabra, the flame suddenly whooshed to the ceiling and flickered and danced as if possessed. Belle drew back, sensing some magic was at work, and a face appeared in the fire, almost like what she imagined a demon or devil's face would look like when summoned. It was the face of an older man, with a pointed chin and a goatee.

"What—who are you?" she gasped.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the face said. "I am Lumiere!"

Bae frowned at the candelabra. "Who the hell are you? An enchanted candlestick holder? What was my papa going senile there?"

"I don't remember you being here," Belle began.

"I was cursed to this form by Rumplestiltskin himself," Lumiere began. "Because I broke a deal with him. And this was my punishment. Maybe you haven't seen me because I have been . . . underused. This castle is huge, and I lay forgotten for a long time, as I can only come out if my candles are lit."

Belle cocked her head at him. "I've cleaned and dusted this castle from turret to attic to storage room, and I've never come across this candelabra before. It's unique, I'd remember it if I did. You say Rumple cursed you like this? Why?"

"Ah . . . it's a long story, mademoiselle. Very boring. I was a wizard once, and I made a mistake . . . and that's why I'm like this," Lumiere sighed. "But I could not help overhearing . . . you are looking for a book on the Dark One?"

"Yes, but how would you know where one was?" Bae asked suspiciously.

"Because, you see, I've been in here lots of times when Rumplestiltskin was reading . . . and I've seen him use that particular book. Why do you need it?"

"To help us bring him back," Baelfire answered. "I need my father back to help me find my family."

"And you believe I would help you—the son of the man who put me here?" Lumiere scowled.

"Well, Rumple has changed since you knew him," Belle began. "And I'm certain if we asked him to, he would change you back now. Only we can't ask him anything unless you help us."

Lumiere considered. "Very well, if you convince him to release me after I help you, we have a deal."

"Done!" Belle agreed. "Now . . . where is this book we need?"

"Look behind you, on the top shelf," Lumiere instructed. "You shall see it . . . it's a book worthy of the Dark One."

Bae went and found what the candelabra meant. It was a thick tome of nightblue leather with fancy curlicues and engraved runes upon the binding and the cover. He shivered, for the volume was oddly chilly to the touch, as if he held ice in his palms. "Why is it cold?"

"Ah. It is the emanations from the spells inside. Cold as the grave!" Lumiere chuckled.

"But can I open it without getting blasted?" Bae queried, knowing well how dark mages guarded their precious spell books.

"Put on the gloves in the top right hand drawer and you shall see," Lumiere replied.

Bae did so, finding they fit him . . . well, like a glove. Then he opened the volume.

"Hells! I can't read it!" he snarled in frustration. "It's written in some other language!"

"Let me see," Belle said. But she found she too could not decipher it. "Damn it!"

"I know what you are looking for," Lumiere said. "Turn to page 394. You will find something there."

Bae flipped the pages until he came to the right one. And discovered there was a clever hiding spot within the book where there rested a strange metal object . . . almost like a brand . . . with an odd runic triangle and circle upon one end. "What's this?"

"It is a key!" Lumiere explained. "A key to the vault of the Dark One."

"What's that?" Belle asked.

"It is where the first Dark One was made, centuries upon centuries ago," Lumiere intoned. "He was a dark spirit, born out of the darkness of the wrath of the gods of night and shadow, summoned by a desperate soul who wished to kill a king and so gain a throne . . . and he made a deal with the ancient gods of darkness and black magic . . . and they sent him the dagger of the Dark One . . . along with the rules one had to follow in order to control and summon him from the ether."

"And to become one," Bae added.

"Yes. The vault holds the key to bringing back the Dark One . . . if you are brave enough to use it. Remember, all magic comes with a price," Lumiere warned.

"Of course it does. And I'm willing to pay any price," Bae began.

But Belle shook her head rapidly. "Don't ever say that. You don't ever make a deal, especially with the dark gods, unless you know exactly the price beforehand. Because then they could demand anything . . . like the life of your firstborn child."

"You're right. I'm forgetting everything Papa ever taught me," Bae sighed. "Do you know the price, Lumiere?"

"Regrettably, no. Since your father was the Dark One, there was never any need for him to research that particular thing in my sight."

Belle groaned. Now they were back to square one, it seemed. And yet . . . there was something fishy here. She didn't know why, but something seemed off. "Lumiere, do you know what would happen if . . . if the current Dark One . . . died? Where would his body go? Where would the dagger go?"

"Ah . . . his body would be returned to the ether, as would his spirit, to await the summoning again . . . inside the vault. He cannot truly be killed, except by his dagger and then the spirit and the curse is transferred to whoever does the deed."

"Then he couldn't . . . kill himself?" Belle probed.

"No. No. Then the curse would just recircle. It was a provision made by the dark gods, so they could not lose their servant to madness and despair. Quite cruel, actually. But then, we are dealing with the gods of night and shadow here."

"So you're saying the Dark One can't go mad?" Bae asked.

"Oh he can . . . and many have. It takes a fine line to walk the edge between sanity and madness," Lumiere chuckled. "I'm surprised Rumplestiltskin lasted as long as he has."

"True love," Bae said. "What about the knife? Where would it be?"

"Well . . . it could be in the vault," Lumiere speculated.

"Or? Where else?"

"Well . . . the dagger is an object of great evil and power . . . and it would want to be used by another like it . . . so it's possible that it sent itself to the closest and strongest practitioner of darkness it could find."

Belle's eyes widened. "Bae, come here for a moment!" She pulled Bae away from the book and dragged him into a far corner of the library. "I think I know who has the dagger! It's that witch . . . the one who's taken over Regina's castle!"

"Yes . . . it would make sense that she's a dark witch," Bae nodded. "Good call, Belle."

"Question is, how do we get the dagger from her? We can't leave it with her. I won't have Rumple be made a slave to her. I'd rather see him in limbo than that."

"Me too. And we need the dagger back before we go to the vault," Bae said. He patted the key, which he stuck in a tunic pocket. "Maybe we can ask Lumiere how to get inside a warded castle?"

"Just be careful, Bae. I don't trust him," Belle murmured.

"Why?"

"I don't know, but my instincts are telling me there's something he's hiding from us . . . and his story about being in the castle . . . I feel like he's lying, Bae. It could be a trap. Your father had many enemies."

"Hmm . . . yeah he feels kind of shady to me too. But let's see what I can get out of him."

Bae went and approached Lumiere again, and the trapped wizard told him a simple spell he could recite to make himself invisible to the spell ward around the witch's castle. Bae didn't like using magic at all, but Lumiere assured him the spell was not dark magic, and so easy a baby could perform it. "Just read it off the scroll in the top right hand drawer."

"Okay," Bae said, and then went to get it. Once he had the scroll, he said to Belle, "I'll need the night to prepare and then I'm going back to the Queen's castle and getting the knife."

"How are you going to do that?" Belle cried.

"Well, I'll use the scroll to get inside and then . . . I'll do something I'm really good at. I learned when I was kid how to steal in order to survive, and I was damn good at it. So I'll find where this witch keeps the dagger and I'll steal it back from her. Meantime, you try and translate this page where we found the key, and hope it tells us about the price required."

"Bae, are you sure that's wise?"

"Yes. I'm the only one who can get the knife, and you can translate better than I can," he persuaded. "Don't sweat it, I'll be back before you know it."

"Okay. But Bae, I don't like this. But what choice do we have?"

"I know. We're two desperate souls, aren't we?" and Rumple's son smiled sadly at her. "Just like my father was once. But we'll do this. I won't fail my family."

Belle hugged him. "You just be careful. You die from being stupid, Baelfire, and I'll send your papa to the afterlife to kick your ass."

He laughed. "I'm not dying, Belle. I can promise you that."

But she was still uneasy.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Present day

Storybrooke

The farmhouse basement:

"Eat, damn you!" Zelena spat at Rumple, shoving the bowl of bland rice inbetween the gap in the bottom of the cage.

Rumple just kept spinning, ignoring her.

"Why won't you eat?" hissed the witch exasperatedly.

Rumple paused then said bitterly, "You can ask that, when you've killed my son?"

"He was a fool . . . you shouldn't waste time mourning him," Zelena said callously.

"I'm not hungry, dearie. Death makes me lose my appetite."

"I don't care. I won't have you weak for what I need you for!" she growled. "Now eat! Before I shove it down your throat!"

This time she put the command of the dagger behind it, and Rumple was dragged away from the wheel which helped him forget how his son was lost to him for now, and forced to pick up the bowl and start eating with his fingers.

He felt like throwing up, but wasn't allowed to stop eating. "Mmm! Tastes like chicken!" he mocked both himself and her while sucking bits of rice off his fingers slowly. Then he began singing in a whiny half-mad voice, "Feed the madness and it feeds on you! Feed the madness and it feeds on you!" He let out a little giggle at the end, because it helped ease the misery a bit.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear your crazy babble!" she snapped. "Slow down, before you choke."

Rumple slowed down. Then, because he couldn't speak, he began giggling, the same high pitched giggles he used to make as the Dark One. The giggling helped recall him to himself and it was also a means to annoy Zelena, whom he could tell was getting mighty uncomfortable listening to him cackle.

He began giggling twice as fast and as loud.

"What the hell is so funny!" Zelena cried. "Why are you laughing?"

He just giggled harder.

Zelena grew red in the face or something like it, though it was hard to tell with her green skin. "Answer me!"

"Laughter is the best medicine, dearie! You ought to try it!" Rumple replied, giggling hysterically. "See? I feel better already. All the voices in my head . . . will be quiet when I'm . . . dead?"

Then he started laughing hysterically.

Zelena scowled. "You've gone mad."

"And why is that, dearie? Could it be . . . because you sacrificed my son to get me back? You made him pay the price that should have been yours?" Rumple hissed, his eyes suddenly maniacal.

"A sacrifice was required," she said off-handedly. "And he was a thief who tried to steal the dagger and I caught him. I chose to punish him that way." She tisked at him. "You were such a terrible papa, Rumple. Never teaching your son not to steal things."

Rumple stiffened. "And you're an awful daughter, trapping your own father in a candelabra like that."

Zelena sneered. "He was of no more use to me. I'd learned all I could from him, he was a sorry excuse for a wizard. That's why I came to you. Only you wouldn't teach me how to become immortal!"

"There are some things, dearie, you weren't meant to know, and that's one of them," he said shortly.

She glared at him. "I don't need you for that anymore, Rumple! I know how to do it now! I found out when I was in Oz. It takes three things—the brain of a sorcerer, the courage of a brave warrior, and the heart of an innocent newly born. I've already got Charming's courage and your mind, since I broke it when I sacrificed your son. Now all I need is the heart of Snow White's baby and I'll have it all!" She gave a small diabolical laugh.

"You'll never get it. They're wise to you now," Rumple warned.

"Yes I will! My half-sister and those other idiots are no match for me. I'm Wicked, and Wicked always wins, Rumple!"

"Your arrogance will be your undoing, dearie. In fact, it already has been."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean . . . you tried to cheat the dark gods of their due, Zelena." He gripped the bars of his cage and glared at her with reddened eyes. "The ancient laws state—in order to bring back the Dark One you need a willing sacrifice. And my son wasn't willing—you forced him to use the key to open the vault! You broke the rules . . . and the gods of night and shadow shall make you pay!"

"It never said a willing sacrifice!" Zelena blustered.

"Then maybe you should have read the fine print!" he hissed. "I know everything about my rebirth! And the dark gods shall have their vengeance . . . one way or another!"

"You're insane!" Zelena laughed. "You don't know anything! I've won . . . and I'll keep on winning!" Irritated, she pointed to the ground, lined with newspapers. "On your knees before me, slave! And from now on . . . you shall address me as mistress!"

Rumple obeyed, getting on his knees. He knew better than to fight the compulsion, but it crushed him to do so. "Yes, Mistress . . ." he rasped.

"That's better!" she cooed, and then she reached through the bars and patted him on the head the way one would a lapdog. "Now finish your supper and then go back to your spinning or whatever."

Rumple gritted his teeth, then went to do as she had said. Zelena smirked, then left the basement.

Rumple was compelled to finish the bowl of rice, but five minutes afterwards his stomach rebelled, and he crawled into a corner and was sick all over the floor. Misery and food did not mix.

Finally he managed to drink some water from a tin cup she had left him, then he curled up on his pallet, clutching his stomach. Besides the fact that he was grieving for his son, who had been cursed because of him, and whom he might not be able to restore, he also could feel the looming presence of the gods of night and shadow, hovering over Storybrooke. And they were furious . . . and he knew their wrath if unleashed would be like Armageddon.

Unless Emma could get back his dagger and stop Zelena, they would all die horribly. For the gods of night and shadow would not be mocked and you crossed them at your own peril. Pity Zelena had never learned that.

Groaning, he drew his knees up to his chest and tried to think calming thoughts to ease the churning in his gut. But all that kept coming to mind was images of Bae—as a baby and a small boy—and they made him weep.

A/N: Hope you liked my twists with Bae and Zelena! I figured why not let him use his skills as a thief and as for Zelena, why not make her related to someone other than Snow?