You Might Die Trying

A.N: Just a reminder to everyone that this story does take place after "What I am" and "Oh, the Guilt." So, keep that in mind when you are reading (especially in terms of Derek).

THANK YOU to all of you who reviewed the first chapter… it is much appreciated.

Also, check out Trapeze and The Great Escape (updated with Ch. 6).

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy….bummer.

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Chapter 2: Have a Heart

"Hey, have a heart.

If you don't love me,

Why don't you let me go?

Have a heart, please,

Oh, don't you have a heart?

Little by little you fade while I fall apart."

- Bonnie Raitt

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Meredith let her head fall against the porcelain toilet, exhausted from purging what little she had in her stomach. She breathed deeply, trying to rid herself of the fear that had settled into every part of her body. She should be used to seeing a human heart. She worked with body organs all day, this shouldn't be any different, but it was. Someone had left that heart for her and she had no idea who.

A knock on the door startled Meredith from her slumped position on the bathroom floor, and George's voice invaded the silence of the room. "Mer, the police are coming."

"Okay," Meredith breathed, trying to ignore the disgusting taste that had settled into her mouth.

"Are you okay?" George asked.

"I'm fine."

"Can I come in?"

"No. It's just," Meredith hesitated, "Give me a minute."

George removed his hand from the doorknob. "Okay. We're right outside."

Meredith brought her body away from the toilet and moved to rest her back against the bathtub. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, trying anything to calm her nerves. And soon she found herself longing to hear Derek's voice, to feel his arms wrapped around her. Anything. She just wanted him.

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Derek pressed his index finger against Meredith's doorbell and turned back around to face the street. His thoughts consumed of the one night Meredith stood on the porch, dancing with a bottle of tequila in her hands. How her body had swayed freely to the distant music, completely unaware of anyone around her. How they had made love in the front seat of his car, but that was before everything had turned to hell.

"Dr. Shepherd." Izzie said, her voice interrupting his thoughts.

Derek turned to face Izzie. "Where is she?"

"She's in the bathroom." Izzie said as she opened the front door wider to make room for Derek to walk through. "She won't let anyone in."

Derek walked into the house and looked around. Nothing had changed. "Is she okay?"

"How do you think she is?" Izzie snapped.

"Izzie," Derek sighed as he followed Izzie up the stairs to Meredith's room, "I care about her."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it."

"I have my reasons, Izzie."

Izzie stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to look at Derek, her face red with anger. "She picked you, Derek. She gave up a great guy for someone she thought loved her, and then you left her. You've barely spoken to her. Hell, you've barely even looked at her. Now, we are once again left with picking up the pieces because of you."

"I have my reasons," Derek shook his head, "things happened. I don't want to hurt her again."

"What happened? What made you give up on everything?" Izzie snapped, "You've been walking around the hospital like a fucking zombie. What the hell is the matter with you?"

"It's none of your business."

"It is my business. You've hurt my friend, again. I don't like seeing her broken. She can't take this."

"Do you think I like hurting her?" Derek asked, raising his voice. "Do you think it makes me happy to be without her?"

"Then, why are you?" Izzie pushed. "What has gotten you so devastated that you can't even talk to the woman that you supposedly love?"

"Addison happened. Addison and Mark. They didn't have a one-night stand. They had a relationship. For months."

Izzie's face softened. "I'm sorry."

"I could have been with her then," Derek said sadly, "I would have picked her. I wouldn't have wasted my time. I wouldn't have hurt her."

"Do you want to be with her?"

"I think so," Derek nodded, "I think I just need some time. I need to figure out what happened to my marriage. I need to figure out who I need to be in order to make this work."

"Fine," Izzie sighed, "but you have to tell her. Not now, but soon. You have to tell her what's going on before she gives up on your forever and before she falls apart."

"I know."

Izzie stepped aside for Derek to lead the way into Meredith's bedroom. "Go ahead."

Derek walked past Izzie, who followed him quietly. He opened the door to Meredith's room and looked at George, who was sitting on Meredith's bed, staring at the red heart that was still on the floor. Derek looked down at the heart and then at the bathroom door. "Did you call the police?"

"Yes, they're on their way," George said quietly, "but since no one was hurt, it could take awhile."

Izzie sat next to George on the bed, grabbing his hand. "They'll be here soon."

Derek moved away from the bed and towards the bathroom door. He jiggled the handle to open the door, but it was locked. "Meredith."

"Go away."

"Mer, open the door." Derek said to the closed bathroom door.

"I don't want to," Meredith's voice cracked, "I don't want to talk to you."

Derek tried again. "Meredith, let me in."

Moments passed without a word from Meredith. Derek rested his forehead against the door and waited. Thoughts plagued his mind of how things might have been different if he had just been there, if he had just chosen her to begin with. He closed his eyes and hoped that he would have the chance to make this right. "Meredith."

Derek could hear movement inside the bathroom and then the door unlock. He turned the knob and walked inside to see Meredith's back facing him. The faucet ran as she splashed water on her face. Derek closed the door behind him and walked over to stand next to Meredith. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Meredith whispered as she continued to splash water on her face.

"You're lying."

"Derek," Meredith sighed, "this doesn't concern you."

"How can you say that?"

Meredith reached for a towel to dry her face. "You know why. I told you that I left Finn, and you said nothing. You didn't do anything. You made it perfectly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. So, just go."

"Meredith," Derek said as he grabbed her arm, "I will explain everything to you, but right now we need to talk about what happened."

"I don't know what happened," Meredith ripped her arm away from Derek's grasp, "if I knew, I wouldn't be in here."

"You have no idea who would send that to you?"

"None."

"Finn?"

Meredith looked at Derek, her face red with anger. "He wouldn't do that. He understood."

Derek ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because I don't want your help."

"Meredith, stop," Derek hesitated, "I love you. I just needed time."

"You could have told me that."

"Please, lets not get into this right now." Derek begged, not wanting to have the conversation for the second time today.

Sirens filled the air and Meredith sighed as tears threatened to fall from her eyes again, "Just go, Derek. I can't do this right now. The police are coming."

Derek brought his hand to Meredith's cheek and gently stroked her soft skin. "Don't push me away."

Meredith leaned into his touch, but abruptly pulled away. "Go."

Derek frowned. He didn't want to leave her, not when all this was going on, but she didn't want him here. He was torn between doing what she wanted and doing what he knew was right. His hand dropped to his side. "I'm not going, Meredith. You need me."

The doorbell rang and Meredith released a frustrated sigh. She walked towards the door and placed her hand on the knob. As she opened the door, she turned her head to look back at Derek. "I do need you, but that doesn't mean I have forgiven you, or that I trust you."

Derek followed Meredith out of the bathroom. George and Izzie's voices mixed with those of the police officers as Derek and Meredith made their way out of her bedroom into the hallway when the phone rang. Meredith stopped and turned around, heading back into her bedroom to answer the phone. Derek turned and moved towards the doorway, waiting for Meredith before walking downstairs.

Meredith picked up the phone and sat down on her bed. "Hello?"

"Did you like your package?" The voice asked.

Meredith gasped. "Who are you?"

Derek moved closer to Meredith.

The voice laughed. "Just tell Dr. Shepherd that I hope he liked the present I gave you."

So, a lot of you think that it is Finn… well, I'm not going to say that it is or it isn't. I mean, just because Meredith thinks that it wasn't him doesn't mean it wasn't. Do you still think it was Finn? An ex-lover? Who? Evil Grin I know who it is.

So, yeah, there wasn't too much suspense in this chapter, but don't worry… it's coming, but I hoped you liked this chapter. More is on the way.

Thanks for reading.

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