AN: This chapter is a bit short, sorry! Sorry the updates will be a bit slow for a little while; this is finals week and I have way too many exams plus work is stressful so I'll update as much as I can!
"How about this? How about you drop the felony rape charge and bring it down to sexual assault and my client will refrain from suing for court-ordered visitation," the defense attorney said, facing down Olivia and Barba in the interrogation room.
Derril Jackson, a monster of a man who had raped Lauren Hayes not once, but twice, and impregnated her, was attempting to negotiate a deal. Olivia looked unusually frustrated and furious, Barba noted, but attributed it simply to exhaustion.
"I'll talk to Lauren and see how she feels about that," Olivia said, bowing her head in resignation. Barba's head snapped in her direction, not even believing the words coming out of her mouth. Where was her fight? Was she really willing to let this go to sexual assault? This was not just unlike her in the way that was just unusual; this was uncharacteristic in the way that indicated there had to be a reason she was giving up that easily.
"Lieutenant Benson, I'd like to remind you that I am the one with the power to make legal decisions," he said, glancing at her and then turning back to Derril. "Sexual assault? Not going to happen. I'll take you for felony rape and drop the stalking charges, that's the best I'll offer."
"As long as the rape charge stands, my client will be suing for visitation of his child," the lawyer repeated boldly, clicking her pen and staring at Barba head-on.
"Child visitation is none of my business nor my concern. Not worth dropping the charges your client will not only inevitably be convicted of, but will also most likely be the cause of why he will not win a civil suit for visitation of the child. See you in court," Barba said, standing up dismissively and starting towards the door. He was shocked when Olivia stayed seated, staring at the criminal before her, practically steaming.
He opened the door and stared back at her. "Lieutenant Benson, after you," he said, holding the door open. She didn't respond once again. "Olivia," he said in a last-ditch effort to get her attention, even though it was unprofessional to call her by her first name in front of another lawyer.
Finally, she stood up, glaring at Derril a moment longer as she left the room. Once finally outside, Barba stepped directly in front of her, ignoring Rollins and Fin, who were also in the room.
"You were ready to take that deal," he stated, looking at her with an expression which was a mixture of confusion, frustration, and something softer. "Not that it was your decision. Want to tell me what you've got up your sleeve?"
She dismissed him, turning instead back to the window and staring ahead at Derril. Refusing to accept anything less than an explicit answer, Barba stepped up to the window as well, but he faced her rather than the glass.
"Liv, it looks bad when we aren't on the same page," he tried again. She finally turned back to him, their faces now inches apart.
"He's going to fight for as much custodial power as he can get," she said. "That could have been avoided with a deal."
Barba's brows furrowed and he took a small step back. "You mean to tell me you want to let him off on sexual assault so he doesn't attempt to get custodial rights? Even if he somehow managed to get visitation…he'll be in prison. The kid will visit him there with the safety of a guard and his mother."
"No child deserves to have to know their father if they're the product of his crime," Olivia said, her eyes glazing over.
Barba had gotten to a point where he could realize when Olivia was extremely upset and when she was just really angry. When she was angry, he'd usually see a bitter little half-smile (even though a smile was the opposite of what she was feeling). But when she was really upset, her face contorted to one of pure disgust. That was her expression now, except this time, it was even further riddled with pain—he wasn't sure he'd seen her looking this terrorized since the Lewis trial. Still, he was angered at her idea of just rolling over and letting this Derril guy walk all over the police department and himself. The most valuable thing he'd learned from her was to care more than that.
"The child isn't our business. Justice for Lauren is. Whatever happens with custody of the child after Derril's indictment is out of my hands, but I'm doing my job and taking him down for rape," he said.
Olivia clenched her teeth, her jaw moving visibly. "Yeah, you're right. I forgot that you care more about the case looking good than being ethical," she retorted, pushing past him and departing the room.
Barba was left in confusion, staring after her for a moment before turning to Rollins and Fin. He saw both of their faces form into what was primarily the awkward I-know-something-you-don't look.
"Somebody want to tell me what's going on with her? She's off. Way off," he said, seriousness splayed across his face.
They both stayed silent for a long moment. Rollins looked like she was going to say something, but then shut her mouth and looked back away from him.
"This…kind of hits close to home for Olivia," Fin said.
Barba gave a slight shake of his head, his hand out to the side in a gesture saying he still didn't understand. Fin and Rollins shuffled out of the room quickly, making it clear that they would say no more out of respect for their lieutenant. He got a horrible feeling in his gut after seeing their faces. He knew that something was wrong here, and he was genuinely concerned for Olivia, not only the case, although he was a little annoyed at how unprofessional they'd come across as in the interrogation room with their differing views on the case. Pushing that aside, he headed out of the interrogation room and walked out into the precinct and down the hall until he found her heading toward the exit.
"Olivia," he called from behind her. He walked faster until he was by her side, and when she refused to slow down, he stepped in front of her. She stopped abruptly, a look of annoyance spread across her face.
"Let's go get a drink," he suggested. He knew she would say no initially, so he silently gave her a pleading look with his eyes. She never replied, but she followed him to the bar.
"So. Clearly I hit a nerve today and I need to know what it is," Barba said after taking a sip of his scotch. He moved his gaze from his drink over to her, turning his body towards her.
She gave a slight shake of her head, taking a long sip of her drink to avoid talking for a minute. He kept his eyes trained on her to enforce the idea that he was not going to give this one up. She finally glanced at him and then looked back at her drink, getting ready to spill.
"Okay," she started, resignation etching across her features. "I think the child should be something we're concerned about because I know what it is to be the product of rape and be raised by a mother that doesn't want you and to be a living, breathing reminder of the worst thing that ever happened to her. I think the only thing that could make that situation worse would be to have to know the guy who did it all," she said bluntly, now looking at him straightforwardly.
It took him a moment to process, but after he silently let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, his expression transformed into one first of grave, stilled shock and then sadness and overwhelming guilt. It was his turn to look away from her, this time in shame. He'd known very little about her past. In fact, after hearing her admission, the thought crossed his mind that he really knew very little about her in general, which was somewhat upsetting because he had a curiosity that made him want to know everything.
"I'm sorry for pushing that," he said. "That why you joined SVU?"
She nodded, stirring her drink pointlessly.
"How come you've never told me this?" he questioned.
"It's not something I'm proud of or want to talk about. I have the DNA of a rapist," she replied.
A long pause followed as Barba tried to think of something he could say but came up with nothing he thought could be comforting in any way.
Finally, he spoke. "He must have been hot. You really don't look like your mother," he said with a slightly humored smile on his face; he'd seen photos of Serena. He sucked in a breath. "Wow, that was a fucked up thing to say."
Olivia actually laughed. She never would have believed that there would be a day on which a smile would grace her face while she spoke of her father.
"But…on a more serious note, DNA is far from a defining factor. You didn't have to dedicate your life to justice for women like your mother so you could prove that, even though I think most people would agree the city couldn't survive without you," he said.
The smile stayed on her face, but fell a little bit as a more serious expression took over. "Or you," she said, glancing at him. A moment of silence took over before Barba spoke again.
"Liv, Derril will not get custody nor visitation," he said. He glanced at her and, seeing her unchanging expression, placed a hand over hers. "He will never see that child unless Lauren or the child decide differently. I promise."
Promises weren't something he took lightly.
AN: so sorry if this is slow-moving, I'm just trying to let it be realistic and a burner. Please leave me some reviews, I really appreciate those of you that left some last time! Thanks! xx Ali