Chapter 1: Broken Glass
Twenty years later Sarah Conden, born Williams, had grown into a woman, though perhaps not the woman she should have been. She was taller now, than when she had defeated the Goblin King and her figure was more womanly. Her long, dark brown hair was even longer now, and it could be said without a doubt that her beauty had only increased since the day she left the Goblin City. Something was wrong though, her once radiant smile had vanished and her once confident and proud nature had been changed. What she was now looked nothing like the triumphant victor who had celebrated Jareth's fall with her friends from his labyrinth. What had happened to her?
It was a warm August night and Sarah was sitting on her balcony, wearing nothing but her dark blue silk pyjamas. She had wrapped herself into a quilt, and watched the stars above. It had become a favourite pastime when, as tonight, sleep would not come to her. Curled up at her feet, Gamayun and Alkonost were both blissfully asleep. She had gotten the two chocolate brown Labrador puppies a couple of weeks back out of a strange impulse she still could not quite explain to herself. Perhaps it was because she missed her old dog Merlin. He had been her best friend during her teenage years and had become quite old, but one day about fifteen years ago he had passed away. Sarah had always wanted to have another dog since, and now she finally had two. She leaned down to pick up Gamayun and placed him on her lap. She carefully stroked through his fluffy fur and was pleased as she thought she had heard him snore. Still, she could not bring herself to smile.
In all truth Sarah had gotten better with Gamayun and Alkonost in her life than she had been two months previously. She was not as sad anymore and managed to get through her days without breaking down in tears. It really was the first improvement she had made since her accident in January. She still was in no condition to go leave bed for long stretches of time, but walking the dogs for half an hour three times a day seemed to do her the power of good. At first it had been quite a struggle, as her body was still sore from her injuries, but she was fine now. She could manage half an hour of walking, even though she usually needed to rest afterwards.
Her brother Toby had scolded her for buying the dogs, saying when she was in no shape to look after herself, she should not try to look after other beings, but his words had fallen on deaf ears. Eventually he had dropped the issue, seeing how Gamayun and Alkonost were adorable, and he could not deny that the little rascals seemed to make his sister happier. It was more than he had been able to accomplish. Since the accident Toby had come to see Sarah twice a day, initially to change her bandages and make sure she took her medication, now more for emotional support than anything else. At first Sarah had appreciated that someone was there for her, but now Toby's frequent visits had started to annoy her. When he came all he wanted to do was speak about the accident. Sarah was not ready for that, not yet. Sometimes he tried a more diplomatic route and suggested that she should seek out professional help, but Sarah was not ready for that either. She wanted to get on with her life and forget about everything that had happened, why was that so hard to understand? She wanted to go back to the life she had had before her accident. She wanted to go back to her work, back to her life and most important of all back to her husband.
She sighed as she picked up Alkonost as well and placed him next to Gamayun on her lap. She looked at the dogs and suddenly she was close to tears again. She bit her lip trying to fight it. Everytime her thoughts strayed to the subject of Brian, the most handsome man in the universe and her husband, she could not help it. Why was he not here with her when she needed him most? Sarah could not understand that. She missed him. She needed him with her now, but behind the balcony door her bedroom was empty and no matter how much she wished for it Brian was not sleeping on the other side of the bed.
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Sarah was startled when she heard a sound behind her. Her eyes flew open and she looked around frantically. Where was she? Oh no, she had fallen asleep on the balcony again. The second time this week! She heard footsteps from the kitchen and then Toby's voice calling for her. Sarah groaned and tried to get up quickly and make it into the bedroom, but it was already too late. Toby was standing behind her in the balcony door and his expression was anything but amused.
"Sarah! Don't tell me you slept here!" he exclaimed with both annoyance and concern in his voice. He was worried about her still. Sure, Sarah had been getting better, but as far as he was concerned she was still in denial about many things. Ignorance, he knew well, never was a way to solve problems.
Sarah looked up into his blue eyes and said nothing. She knew it was pointless to lie or try to argue. Toby knew her better than anybody else, and that meant he could usually tell when Sarah wasn't speaking the truth. He always knew when she tried to keep something from him and at times it appeared that he could read her mind like an open book. It made sense; Sarah and Toby were close, even for siblings and had been for the last twenty years. In a way Sarah had almost been a second mother to him when he was growing up. She had cared for him more than the average sister would and he knew and appreciated it. Now the roles were reversed though, for once it was Sarah who needed to be looked after and Toby felt that in the last six month he had truly grown up and had become a responsible young man. Sarah thought so too and she could not help but be proud of him, no matter how much his nagging sometimes aggravated her. She knew he meant well.
Sarah raised a hand to brush a strand of blond hair from Toby's face and sighed. "I was watching the stars. I never realised I dozed off." She admitted softly. "Toby, maybe it is time I go back to work. It's been over six month since the accident and surely they won't keep my job open forever." Perhaps this was not the best time to discuss such a serious topic, but it had rolled over her lips really without thinking. As soon as she heard the words though she knew she had spoken the truth. She missed her work.
Toby looked at her momentarily shocked, as he ran his hands over his dark green shirt. "You're kidding me, Sarah. You can barely get up to walk the dogs you want to go back to work. Have you lost your mind? You should wait another couple of weeks. Just to be sure" he said his voice heavy with sorrow and concern.
"It's time Toby. I have been off long enough. My physical injuries are all healed and the physiotherapist I see says I am recovering faster than anticipated. Come on, I am bored out of my mind here having nothing to do all day long. It's not good for me to just sit here brooding. That's how one falls asleep on the balcony with harmful thoughts in their head." Her tone was almost pleading. Not that Toby could stop her now that she had decided to go back to work, but it would be easier with his support than without it. Sarah hoped that somehow he would find it in his heart to understand her.
"Maybe you could ask Headmistress Wilderman if you can come back part time. You know, only for a couple of hours that week. That way you won't overwork yourself." Toby knew fine that Sarah would not accept no for an answer. She had always been stubborn and did things her way, even if by doing so she made things hard on herself. He smiled. The fact that Sarah was fighting with him again made him happy. It only showed that she was on the mend. In the first weeks after her accident she had been so apathetic. She had agreed to anything the doctors and he suggested to her, now however some of her spirit seemed to have returned. "Well, come inside Sarah, we can discuss it some more over breakfast." She merely nodded and followed Toby inside.
The kitchen really was the best room in the house. It was light a spacious and Sarah absolutely loved the elegant white marble work tops in contrast to the otherwise dark kitchen furnishings. It was a large and bright room with many windows. The kitchen table was situated in the centre of the room, surrounded by four matching chairs. It had a marble surface as well, matching the rest of the kitchen. In one corner of the table were several potted herbs and a large fruit basket adding a nice splash of colour to the otherwise very sleek and classy design of the kitchen. While Toby was putting on the coffee machine, Sarah walked over to the fridge to grab some milk to have with her cereal.
"You know, I think maybe you are right. Part time work doesn't sound all that bad. I mean I don't need to worry about money at the moment. The house has just been paid off and I have enough in the bank to make it for a couple of months so I guess I can afford to take it slowly" Sarah said as she sat down at the table, her hands clutched around a blue and white ceramic bowl filled with corn flakes. Toby merely nodded as he joined her, placing a mug of steaming hot, black coffee in front of her. He still was not entirely comfortable with the idea of Sarah going back to work so very soon, but he had to admit that eventually she would have to start trying to get her life in order again and she might as well now. He realised that perhaps he was a little over protective of his sister.
There was no reason though for Toby to worry as much. Sarah absolutely loved her work. For the last ten years she had been a teacher at Lincoln College, instructing young girls and boys in English literature and the Russian language. She absolutely loved working with children, and while sometimes the work was very demanding and tiring Sarah never complained about it and would always begin her lessons with great enthusiasm. The animated fashion in which she taught often fascinated her students and drew them into the subject matter in a way few other teachers could accomplish. She was just so vivid and energetic it was hard not to feel a special vibe when walking into one of Sarah Conden's classrooms. She was well respected by students and colleagues alike and she had made many friendships in the workplace.
Perhaps most notable was the fact that work was where Sarah had met Brian Conden nearly ten years ago. He had been deputy headmaster when Sarah had started working for the school. He was a tall and elegant man. He had broad shoulders, a slim figure, short brown hair and the most intriguing light green eyes Sarah had ever seen. In fact when she had first met him Sarah had been speechless for a few moments. Then he had spoken to her in a dark, yet soothing voice and she had felt endeared by his rather peculiar London accent. Even now Sarah was unsure why, but the very moment she had met him there had been a rather familiar quality about him, as if he reminded her of someone she liked, just that actually he didn't. Or at least Sarah had never managed to work who exactly Brian reminded her of. She had been infatuated with the man from the very beginning, but the Englishman hadn't reciprocated.
Sarah had not expected anything differently. While she was a beautiful and charming woman she had quickly formed the impression that Conden was a very correct and polite gentleman. Any sort of flirtation or inappropriate behaviour at the work place was not something Sarah could ever imagine him doing, which really was a shame in her humble opinion. She had been working for Lincoln College for nearly a year when by chance she bumped into Brian Conden outside school. To her utmost surprise she met him at an exhibition of fantasy art, which was about the last thing she would have imagined a man like him to be interested in. Of course she had been immediately intrigued to find that they had a shared interest. They chatted a little during the exhibition and later on Brian invited her to join him for a drink in one of the cocktail bars across the street from the gallery. It was in that cocktail bar, where Sarah learned that Brian Conden at school was really quite different from the man he was privately. She learned that the rather stiff and strict deputy headmaster was a romantic at heart and before Sarah could stop herself she had fallen in love with a man she knew very little about. Unfortunately for Sarah he still did not return her affections.
What ensued afterwards was almost comical. Sarah made a point of avoiding Brian at work feeling almost rejected when she had never as much as hinted that she might like him. Brian on the other had made it a point to see her as often as possible, fascinated by their last meeting was eager to learn more. In the end the few conversations they had turned out to be heated arguments as Sarah's temper would take the better of her. He liked that side of her though and during the arguments there was always a special kind of tension that left them both craving for something undefined and unspecific until one day Brian had kissed her, seemingly unprovoked. From there the rest was history. A year later they had moved in with each other and another year from then Brian had proposed to her. Thinking of it, their seventh wedding anniversary would be coming up soon and Brian would not be there for it.
Sarah sighed and forcefully tried to push the thoughts of Brian away. In her mind she almost scolded herself. When had she become so dependent she could not even go through a single day without thinking of him? "I'll phone Wilderman after breakfast" Sarah said; in her mind she was desperately searching for a new subject.
Toby studied her carefully. He knew the look on her face and he could tell that her thoughts once more had drifted to a rather unpleasant subject. He wondered if this was the time to bring up therapy again, but for once he kept his silence. After all she was getting better her way, the hard way, the stubborn way. Instead he decided it was time to change the topic, as there was something else he would like to discuss with Sarah. "Call after breakfast. Sarah. Anyway, I was wondering what you'd say if I invited Mom and Dad and a few friends around for your upcoming birthday. I thought you might enjoy having a party and seeing everyone again."
Sarah merely sighed. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate Toby's effort and it was true that she had not been seeing many people recently, but was she ready for a party? What if she started crying again? She looked uncertain at her little brother. "By when do you have to know?" she asked tonelessly.
"As soon as possible, Sarah. It would be good to give people some notice" he replied trying to hide disappointment from his voice. He had hoped that she would be more enthusiastic about the idea.
"How about I let you know tonight. I think I better have a shower now. Gamayun and Alkonost need to go outside and I need some time to think about it. Is that ok?"
"I guess so."
Sarah picked up her empty cereal bowl and put it in the dishwasher together with her now empty coffee mug. Then she headed for the bathroom suddenly feeling very weary about this new day. Why couldn't things be easier? Finally in the shower she let hot water wash over her body and she relaxed a little as the pain in her muscles subsided. He reached for her cherry and vanilla shower gel and carefully massaged it into her skin. There were still spots that were sore from the accident, but as she looked down at herself Sarah noticed that the ugly blue and green bruises on her arms and legs were almost gone. The cuts on her right arm had healed well, and all that was left now were a few tender red lines. She would have to wear long sleeves for a while still. Sarah switched the water off and grabbed a towel to dry herself. Then she rushed into the bedroom to get ready.
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About half an hour later Sarah had gotten dressed, taken her medication, said goodbye to Toby who had to go to attend classes at university and had managed to get Gamayun and Alkonost ready for their morning routine. Sarah had picked out a straight cut, cornflower blue linen dress, underneath of which she was wearing a white blouse to hide the scarring on her arm. She had braided her hair into a tail and put combs with flower ornaments into her hair. It was nothing like the fashionable and modern clothes she usually wore to work, but she was comfortable and after all she wasn't going anywhere but the nearby park. For now it would have to do.
It only took Sarah a few minutes to get to the park. There she released the dogs from their leashes. Strictly speaking it wasn't allowed to do that, but the animals liked to run freely and so far nobody had complained to her. Both dogs listened extremely well and always followed her instructions. Their morning walks were always peaceful and they always met the same people. Sarah spoke to other people who owned dogs, as well as those who just came for a walk or jog. Some of the regulars had grown fond of Sarah, Gamayun and Alkonost and always had a treat for the dogs in their pockets. Out of all the people she met in the park the old Mrs Hurst was her favourite though. They would always share a bench when Sarah was halfway through her walk and needed a minute's rest.
Mrs Hurst was an old woman, perhaps in her early seventies, with snow white hair and an overly wrinkly face. She had bright red cheeks, which reminded Sarah of polished apples and the most piercing blue eyes. Usually she was dressed in a long pleated skirt and a white blouse, looking exactly how one would imagine a grandmother. She owned a loud and rather boisterous West Highland terrier, which responded to the name of Whiskey. For the dogs it had almost been love at first sight. Gamayun and Alkonost were immediately taken with the lively white terrier and so it was only natural that while the dogs played the two owners would have their conversations.
Today Martha, that was Mrs Hurst first name, had arrived before her and Sarah could already see her from a distance. She waved frantically and the dogs were racing in the old lady's direction as soon as they got a whiff of the terrier's scent. Had they still been on their leashes they would probably have ripped Sarah's arms out. Seeing the dogs so overjoyed made her break into a rare chuckle as she closed the remaining distance between herself and Martha, who had already gotten comfortable on their favourite park bench. "Lovely Morning" Sarah said as she popped onto the bench herself.
"Lovely indeed. I didn't expect anything else. So how are you today, dearie?" Martha asked already anticipating that the younger woman would have a story for her. She could always read it from her eyes. Sarah sighed, recognised the prompt and carefully recounted her conversation with Toby earlier that morning. Martha listened attentively and let Sarah speak what was on her mind. The old lady never interrupted Sarah and would simply listen letting the younger woman pour her heart out. What she learned today left Martha with mixed feelings. She was glad to hear about Sarah's plans to resume work; however she could not help but notice the discomfort in the other's voice when she spoke about the birthday party Toby was organising. Martha knew fine how Sarah would feel about it and she reached for the younger woman's hand and squeezed it to reassure her.
"… and I really think I don't want to celebrate. Not without Brian." Sarah finally finished recounting and looked at her friend. Martha inclined her head and weighed her words for a moment.
"I don't know Sarah, maybe you should. It is time for you to do something fun. You can't keep on punishing yourself for what has happened."
Those words rang true and Sarah nearly winced as she heard them. She had to deal with the fact that Brian would not be coming for her birthday this year, and the year after that and the year after that. She gagged and felt so close to crying again. She wrapped her own hand around Martha's and squeezed tight. Her husband was dead, and sooner or later Sarah would have to deal with it. Silence stretched between the two women and Sarah's mind wandered back to the accident in January.
They were about to have a late birthday dinner for Brian, who had just come back from a conference on teaching methods. They had booked a table in their favourite restaurant and had called for taxi so that both could have a couple of drinks that night. They'd gotten comfortable in the back seat and had been chatting with the driver, who seemed like a nice enough guy. Then suddenly another car sped towards them from the left side and collided into them before their driver could evade. Brian was sitting right behind the driver. After that, things had been happening so fast Sarah could barely remember them. She had been in such a state of shock she had been unable to think clearly. They had spun across the street until suddenly they came to a stop. It was now that Sarah noticed the windows had been squashed. She had instinctively raised her arms to protect herself and she saw blood trickling down her arm. She had felt no pain though. The she had turned her head to her side and looked at Brian. No, she still could not bring herself to examine the rest of the memory, deal with the picture that was now in her mind.
An ambulance had been called and both of them had been taken away to the local hospital. They had asked her many questions before treating her and Sarah dimly remembered giving her parent's phone number and their social security numbers. Then her memory went blurred and sketchy. The next thing she remembered was waking up in a hospital room with her step mother Karen, father Richard and brother Toby's faces around her, as well as the concerned faces of Jessica and James Conden. Why were they here, what had happened? And then Sarah was confronted with the bad news. Brian hadn't lived, but she had survived. Why? Later she found out that the taxi driver hadn't made it either.
"It is okay to cry, Sarah" Martha urged softly knowing that the younger woman needed her release. Sarah was trying to be strong and get on with her life despite all odds, but Martha knew all about what it felt like to loose a dearly loved one. Her own husband had died a number of years ago. Martha gathered Sarah in her arms and stroked through her hair to soothe her. "I promise one year and one day from the day and it will all be better. Once you have managed the first year on your own, Sarah, you will start feeling better."
Author's Notes:
So here goes the first chapter. I am still a bit unsure about it, as it is a bit depressing. This is not how I plan to portray Sarah throughout the story, but necessary set-up for the rest, so just bear with me. I think this chapter still has some sweet moment's and I hope you enjoy. For those who are well read in Russian mythology the names of the dogs may be familiar. EDIT: I fixed the end scene according to a suggestion from yodeladyhoo, hope this makes it better.
Rena Cresten --- Thank you so much for your review. I hope you will find that the wait was worthwhile. I started writing on the next chapter already in which we will see more of Jareth again.
notwritten --- Thank you for your review! I hope it's still interesting.
yodeladyhoo --- Good spot! My beta is useless. I was not trying to imply for that Brian was sitting in in the front, but I guess it sounded like that. The perils of writing in a foreign language! And yes, the driver is dead. I thought there was no need to mention as he has no function in the story. Anyway, he got his line now.
Sintar --- Thank you so much for your kind words. More is on the way.
Would anyone like to beta for me??