Sarah woke up early, immediately regretting sleeping in her clothes. Hopefully she wouldn't smell too awful... strange as her new housemates were, she had a feeling she should stay on their good side.
Angel Dog was right, Sarah thought as she smoothed her sleep-ruffled shirt. We really should all try to get along... I should try and at least make a few friends.
Sarah tied up her hair in her usual ponytail before heading out into the hallway...
...and nearly got smacked in the face by Judgement Boy.
"Comin' through!" he said quickly, not even apologizing for nearly braining Sarah with one of his cages.
After a few moments of trying to get over her shock, Sarah figured it wouldn't hurt to go running after Judgement Boy. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't curious about what the heck he was running from...
Sarah finally caught up with Judgement Boy at the end of the hallway, when he reached a door he couldn't get through no matter how hard he tried.
"Locked! Damn it!" Judgement Boy punched the poor unsuspecting door before looking at his shoulder at Sarah. "...why did you follow me?" He turned around, tilting his head slightly.
"I was just wondering what you were running from," Sarah shrugged, averting her eyes from Judgement Boy. It sounded kind of stupid when she said it out loud... she expected Judgement Boy to chastise her for nosiness.
"Gold," Judgement Boy swung a bit so he could look behind Sarah. "I think I lost him, though! He's mad because I was singing a little off-key last night..." Judgement Boy puffed out his cheeks and rolled his eyes. "Also because I haven't done any judgements yet." Judgement Boy dropped his voice so it was a low mockery of Gold's. "You can't get better if you don't showcase your talent! That's what he always tells me."
"Why do you work with him if you don't like him?" Sarah asked, leaning against the wall and folding her arms.
"Oh no, I do like him!" Judgement Boy nodded as much as he could. "He's just...harsh. I don't feel like dealing with his tough love first thing in the morning."
"Ah, gotcha..." Sarah nodded.
A long, practically palpable silence followed. Sarah had no idea what to say to this guy; conversing with an animate, talking set of scales was strange enough, but she honestly had no clue what he was going on about with the whole "judgement" thing...
"You have no idea what I'm going on about with the whole 'judgement' thing, do you?" Judgement Boy cocked one of his thick eyebrows.
Sarah spluttered. "How'd you-?"
"Good intuitions!" Judgement Boy blew his bangs out of his eyes and grinned at Sarah, displaying his absurdly sharp teeth. "I think it would be best if I demonstrated. Plus, it would get Gold off my back!" Judgement Boy motioned with his right hand. "Step back. This can get a little crazy."
Sarah backed up, biting her lip. She had no idea what to expect, but... she couldn't help wanting to humor this guy. It was hard not to have sympathy for someone with such a harsh mentor.
Judgement Boy's face turned dead serious. "You're trapped in this hotel with no knowledge of how you got here or the people within it. People may have secrets; they could be plotting behind your back! On top of that, you have no idea what is in store for you! So, what do you do?"
Sarah smirked, noticing he just echoed their current situation. Placing her chin on her finger, she contemplated what her next course of action should be.
"I'll stop at nothing until I find out why I'm here," Sarah stated determinedly. She put her head in her hand briefly. "And why I can't remember much."
Judgement Boy grinned. "Such bravery! But is that right? Let's ask the Scales of Truth!" He rocked side to side, each time a cage came tauntingly close to the floor. "Which will it be, money or love? Only the Scales know for sure!"
Sarah assumed money and love were metaphors for the wrong and right choices to take and eagerly awaited the results.
"JUDGEMEEEEENNNNT!" Judgement Boy spun at a blinding speed on the spot that made Sarah's eyes hurt and she had to look away. He stopped, facing her. A flap opened in the bottom of the cage containing the dollar sign and it smashed into shimmering pieces on the floor. The cage containing the heart sunk the floor as a result. "In the end, you stuck to the goals you set yourself and found out the answers you seek! You make your way to freedom with new allies, and live out a glorious life! And that's the truth!"
"Wow... did you actually see the future just now?" Sarah asked, her hands folded under her chin and her eyes sparkling.
"...It's more of a hypothetical situation. It means if you stick to your goals, you're likely to make it in life!" Judgement Boy winked at Sarah, a grin spreading across his face.
"NEVER EXPLAIN YOUR JUDGEMENTS!" Gold's booming voice came from behind a door.
"G-Gold? You're here?" Judgement Boy's face erupted into a blush. "You heard all that?"
"Oh, you bet!" One of the doors opened and Gold came gliding out, a smirk on his face. "But other than that, it wasn't bad. I'm surprised you didn't show off your talents more!"
"I-I totally can if you want me to!" Judgement Boy floated by Sarah, who ducked underneath him to prevent being smacked. Geez, he should really be more mindful of other people!
"Hmm, I think that's an excellent idea!" Gold nodded, briefly tilting his body forward a bit. "You can't get better if you don't showcase your talent, Judgement Boy. This'll give you a chance to spread your reputation amongst the guests too and it will be the perfect practice until we get out of here and back to... wherever we were."
"Of course Gold!" Judgement Boy grinned enthusiastically. "When do you want me to do it? Now? I could go along to everyone's rooms, I suppose..."
"No, wait until we are all together. You'll leave an impression on all of them that way." Gold decided. "I expect you to be perfect when that time comes! And sing on-key, this time!"
Judgement Boy sighed and looked down, upset his mentor still hadn't forgotten. "Yes, Gold..."
"Hey, chin up," Gold instructed, a fond light in his eyes. "If you work at it, you'll be fine." Gold turned to Sarah, which startled her and made her jump a little. "Do you have a good ear for pitch?" When Sarah nodded, Gold continued. "Good. If Judgement Boy ever needs to practice before testing himself on my finely tuned ears, he can come to you. Remember to practice, Judgement Boy! Now, I'll be on my way."
As Gold disappeared down the hallway, Judgement Boy let out a huge sigh of relief. "I thought he'd make me sing scales right here and now! I guess he's just going easy on me today." He grinned at Sarah.
Sarah was surprised Judgement Boy could be so energetic with Gold always critiquing his work and going so tough on him.
"Well, being here is a big shock for us all," she reasoned. "He's probably just going easy on you because of that."
A silence followed. Sarah wasn't particularly sure what to say. She decided to pluck a conversation starter out of thin air.
"Are there any other Judgement Boys or different colours or something?" Sarah asked.
Judgement Boy looked at her, amused and confused all at once. "What?"
"Well, if he's Judgement Boy Gold, and you're Judgement Boy, is there, I don't know... A Judgement Boy Silver?"
Judgement Boy chuckled. "No, he's Gold because he's the best. And I'm not saying that because he's my mentor. He really deserves the title because of his skill! The other Judgement Boys are all regular Judgement Boys like me. But they're usually Gold's entourage and aren't properly trained by Gold like I am. They get occasional lessons but because I'm Gold's real pupil, I get the majority of his time and I don't get numbered."
Judgement Boy puffed out his chest, looking extremely proud. Sarah frowned in confusion. "What do you mean, 'numbered'?"
"The other Judgement Boys are named 'Judgement Boy #1' all the way up to four. But I'm the original so I don't get a number," Judgement Boy grinned.
"Well that's not cruel at all," Sarah commented sarcastically. "I'm sure they love being second to you."
"I kind of feel sorry for them, yeah," Judgement Boy grimaced. "Gold is bound to leave someone behind. There's only one of him." He screwed up his face in confusion. "I wonder where the other Judgement Boys are anyway? Why weren't they brought here?" He locked eyes with Sarah and his face became bubbly again. "Anyway, I'd better practice. See you around, Sarah!"
Sarah bid him farewell and strolled aimlessly down the hallway. That certainly was interesting. I definitely feel like I understand Judgement Boy better now.
Sarah passed by a room with Cactus Gunman's portrait on the door and stopped, her brows arching. She wondered if he was in his room... he certainly seemed to be fond of her, maybe they could forge a friendship!
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained..." Sarah mumbled before raising her fist and delicately knocking on the door three times.
"EEP!" she heard Gunman squeak from the inside. She heard the clumping of his boots as he ran to the door and opened it a crack, one of his red eyes peering out. "Que?"
"Hey, Cactus Gunman!" Sarah smiled and gave him a little wave. "Wanted to come check on you."
Cactus Gunman quickly shut the door, but not before Sarah noticed that his face erupted into a bright red blush. After a few moments, he opened the door completely, smoothing his poncho and clearing his throat.
"Good morning, senorita!" He leaned against his doorframe, a broad smile beneath his bushy mustache. "How are you feeling?"
"I should be asking you that, mister," Sarah folded her arms and stuck out a hip. "I heard you squeak when I knocked on the door."
"...you heard that?" Cactus Gunman looped his pointer fingers around each other, his face turning a little red. "Sorry... I know it's not very macho of me, but something about this place, well... it's creepy!" Gunman was so ashamed of his admitted fear that he couldn't make eye contact with Sarah.
"No shame in it!" Sarah looked around the hallway, just in time to see Steve walk out of his room, hugging himself. Catherine burst out of her own room and ran after him, enthusiastically taking his arm and walking him to the lobby. "The people here are a little..."
"A little what?" Gunman asked, touching a finger to his chin.
"Never mind..." Sarah backpedaled, holding up a hand. She figured badmouthing her new housemates wouldn't be a good leg to start off on... besides, she barely knew this guy! He could go blabbing to everyone about what she said!
"Why do you think we're here...?" Gunman was quick to change the topic, much to Sarah's relief. "That little... thing..."
"Monoputa?"
Gunman covered his mouth to hold back laughter, but quickly regained his composure. "Yes... Mono...puta. He said that we had a reason for being here, no? I was up late... my brain was going wild with possible reasons..."
"Any you care to share?" Sarah asked, raising a curious brow.
"Oh, I just can't say no to a girl as cute as you!" Cactus Gunman professed. "I had the idea that maybe the outside world was destroyed, and we are the last survivors! We were placed here to live in safety, to live out our lives, and repopulate... oh, such a shame we have so few ladies! I wonder if they'd let me have first pick..." Gunman tried to give Sarah an inconspicuous, barely-there smirk, but it was about as subtle as Gregory bursting into the room with his pants off, screaming about kids these days.
Sarah reflexively slapped Gunman across the face, getting a hand full of needles. "OW!" she exclaimed, shaking out her hand.
"AH! I'm so sorry I offended you, senorita! I cannot help myself... I lose all sense around beautiful women!" Cactus Gunman dithered, holding out a hand to Sarah. "Let me see your injury..."
Sarah sniffed and caved, holding out her pricked hand. Gunman had barely flinched from her slap... he must have gotten a lot of those over the years.
"Ahh... you're bleeding..." Gunman made sure to handle Sarah's hand as gently as possible as he examined it. "Wait one moment!" Gunman disappeared into his room, shutting the door behind him. Sarah frowned a bit. Why didn't he just invite her inside...? Was he hiding something?
Cactus Gunman returned a few moments later with a handkerchief and a smile. "Just clean the wounds with this. I'm sorry I can't offer anything else..."
"This'll work, hopefully... it just stings..." Sarah looked down at her bloodied hand as she ran the handkerchief over it. "I'm really regretting slapping you."
"It stung me as much as it stung you..." Cactus Gunman rested a hand on his cheek.
She continued running the handkerchief over her wounds and muttered "I may have to see nurse Catherine if this gets worse. Once she's done with Steve..."
Once she was done, she looked up at Cactus Gunman's face to see his mind had wandered whilst staring at her, leaving a dreamy smile on his face. Sarah shifted uncomfortably. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this?
The silence was broken by a loud noise coming from the lobby.
"JUUUUUUUUUDGE-MENT!"
"What's going on in there?" Gunman snapped out of his fog, shaking his head around and doing his best to come back to Earth.
"Oh, Judgement Boy must be doing some of his special judgements!" Sarah's eyes sparkled a bit and she tugged on Gunman's arm. "Let's go see!"
Grateful to have an excuse to leave the awkwardness of their encounter behind, Sarah ran down the hall, her ponytail bouncing in her stride.
"Judgement Boy, huh...?" Cactus Gunman reflexively stroked his gun, his eyes narrowing into an angry glare. "This lovely senorita is sweet on him? What does he have that I don't?" he mumbled to himself, jealousy constricting around his heart like thorny vines.
"I might as well gauge the competition, I suppose," Gunman shrugged as he followed after Sarah, biting his lip.
GHS
"Despite your hard work and perseverance, you are never able to figure out where exactly that headache of yours is coming from. You doom yourself to a life of pain because you focus on all other maladies except for the correct one. And that's the truth!" Judgement Boy waved around his empty cage that previously housed a heart.
"Oh, that's... really depressing..." Mummy Papa looked at his feet and let out a sigh.
"It's hypothetical-" Judgement Boy began before Gold interrupted him.
"He doesn't explain his judgements. You made your choice, and now you have to live with it!" Gold nodded sagely and Mummy Papa sulked off to a corner.
"Monoputa, I need another heart!" Judgement Boy barked, waving his cage at the black and white Prompter.
Nearly everyone, barring Hell's Chef for whatever reason, had gathered in the lobby to pass the time until Monoputa's big news. At Gold's suggestion, Judgement Boy decided to entertain the crowd with some personalized judgements. Monoputa had proved to be a big help in that department; he had a chest full of hearts and dollar signs tucked away in a broom closet.
When Judgement Boy questioned where he got them, Monoputa had replied: "Uh, I'm a Prompter, I made them myself!"
When Judgement Boy asked Monoputa where the numbered Judgement Boys were, however, Monoputa just looked to the ground with a smirk and said nothing. Monoputa really rubbed Judgement Boy the wrong way...
"You're doing well so far!" Judgement Boy Gold snapped Judgement Boy out of his fog with a gleaming grin. "See? A little practice never hurts!"
"I'm getting really dizzy..." Judgement Boy admitted, wiping his forehead with one of his round hands.
"Fight through it!" Judgement Boy Gold smacked Judgement Boy on the back. "Okay, who's next?" He looked at the crowd expectantly.
"Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!" James hopped up and down like a crazy jack-in-the-box.
"James, are you sure about that?" Gregory warned his grandson. "You might not like what you hear..."
"Nooo, come on, I wanna get a judgement! They're so cool!" James looked at Judgement Boy with his eyes glimmering.
"I can't say no to that," Judgement Boy shrugged at Gregory and Gregory let out a sigh.
"Okay, James, your funeral," Gregory chuckled darkly and gently pushed James forward. James grinned over his shoulder at him before running up to Judgement Boy.
"Heh heh heh... now this is gonna be good..." Monoputa hopped up onto the ragged couch next to Cactus Girl, winking at her. "How you doin'?"
"Don't make me kick you into the wall," Cactus Girl glared at him, her hands clenched into fists.
James looked up expectantly at Judgement Boy. "Hey, what're you waiting for? Do it."
Judgement Boy's face turned serious and he began. "Your whole family and everyone you know are attending the opening day at a museum, filled with great treasures and things never seen by the public eye before. You know that going there would be interesting and filled with excitement! But you also know that where there is a large group of people, there is an opportunity for a prank. So, what do you do?"
James grinned mischievously. He didn't even have to say a word.
"So you say you'll do the prank, but are you sure? Let's ask the Scales of Truth!" Judgement Boy rocked side to side again. "Which will it be? Money or love? Only the Scales know for sure!"
James frowned. "But my question didn't even have anything to do with that!" He spun around. "Grandpa, grandpa! They're doing it wrong!"
"Judgement Boy's doing it fine, James," Gold stated harshly as he moved forward. "They're metaphors, now let him finish."
James scowled and folded his arms. His eyes latched onto the dollar sign. "Grandpa! I want that one! Can I have it?" He began to jump up and down with glee.
"Be quiet, James!" Gregory scolded. "You'll have to wait and see!"
Gold leaned over and whispered in close to Judgement Boy's face. "Quickly, do it now, before this kid gets sidetracked again. That's the thing with judgements. Make sure they're quick or kids like him will get upset."
"JUDGEMEEEEENNNT!" Judgement Boy quickly spun on the spot, causing Sarah's eyes to hurt. She looked away, but not before she caught a glimpse of Judgement Boy smacking into Gold. Gold was not going to forget that anytime soon. Sarah looked back when Judgement Boy stopped spinning and dropped the heart sign onto the floor. As it shattered into little pieces, he cast a nervous glance over at a displeased Gold. "In the end, you chose to prank everyone. Unfortunately, no one passed the spot where you set up your prank. They all saw the treasures while you sat in the corner glumly. It was your choice, and now you have to live with it. And that's the truth."
James glared and pouted at Judgement Boy. "That's not fair! Grandpa, he gave me a bad judgement!" He put his head in his hands and heaved fake sobs.
"I'm sorry, it's hard to control him when he gets like this." Gregory chuckled darkly. "I'm sure he'll vent his frustrations somehow. Now come along James, let someone else have a turn."
Gregory led the sobbing rat away. James gave a quick glance over his shoulder at Judgement Boy which housed a wicked smile. Judgement Boy just looked dumbstruck. He'd never had someone react like that before.
"Judgement Boy." Gold's voice was stern and he was looking directly at the side of Judgement Boy's head. Judgement Boy was too afraid to look at his mentor. "Judgement Boy, your performance was horrid. Slightly off-key, slow and, most importantly, you hit me! You must never, ever hit anyone when swinging those cages! You definitely have a wide space for improvement!"
Judgement Boy took in every word, knowing he hadn't been his best as well as his mentor. "Yes Gold..."
"C'mon, Judgement Boy, make it up to me by proving yourself with someone else," Gold encouraged.
Judgement Boy sighed, still crestfallen. Sarah felt devastated not to see his face bubbly and happy. It wasn't the Judgement Boy she knew... but he had a lot of pressure on him now and, after a performance like that, she couldn't blame him for his state. Cactus Gunman, seeing Sarah's face, immediately stepped forward.
"Don't fret, senorita," he cooed. "I will help out this poor man."
Even if he was jealous of Judgement Boy for all the attention he seemed to get from Sarah, maybe being kind to him would earn him extra points with her... after all, it seemed like Judgement Boy and Sarah were merely friends. Or so Gunman hoped...
Monoputa chuckled from over at the couch. "Oh, I don't think so! I want to keep that performance fresh in everyone's minds! After all, such an embarrassing moment is related to what I'm going to tell you~" Monoputa hopped to his feet and grinned at everyone. "I think it's high time I reveal my special little surprise!"
"It's time for the surprise?!" James came up from his fake sobs, a huge smile adorning his face as he hopped up and down. "What is it? What is it?"
Gregory sighed in relief. Finally, James stopped with his fake tears!
"This better be good," Gregory Mama flipped some of her dry hair. "I'm already sick of this place. I could stand for it to become more interesting."
"Wait..." Catherine stood on her toes, looking around the room. "We're short one chef."
"Oh, god damn it!" Monoputa leapt in the air, cupped his hands around his mouth, and shouted extremely loudly. "HELL'S CHEF! GET YOUR WAXY ASS IN HERE!"
"Ayiyi!" Cactus Girl covered her ears, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. How could anyone be that loud?!
A few moments later, Hell's Chef burst into the room, fuming. "I was preparing breakfast. If this isn't important, I'm going to-"
"Yeah, yeah, you're scary, we get it," Monoputa rolled his eyes mockingly. "Take a seat and listen to me! This is super important!"
Hell's Chef elected to stand, leaning against the wall and folding his thick arms.
"What I'm about to tell you is something you've been wanting to know..." Monoputa folded his hands, tilting his head as far as it would go. "The reason all of you are here."
"About time you gave us some answers!" Angel Dog frowned at Monoputa. "I couldn't sleep a wink last night!"
"Me either!" Poor Conductor wiped at his sagging, tired eyes.
"This might come as a shock to all of you, but you're trapped here. Stuck between life and death. This isn't your reality. Your reality is... out there," Monoputa pointed to the large, locked doors.
Everyone gasped and began to nervously chatter amongst themselves, apart from Roulette Boy, who was snickering, and James, who seemed to think this was the coolest thing ever.
"No way! You're lying!" Cactus Girl edged away from Monoputa, her eyes bulging.
"I'm telling the whole truth! Don't worry; there's a way you can get out!" Monoputa nodded sagely. "I wouldn't trap you here without any hope at all!"
"What is it?!" Steve tore at his hair, his skin as white as paper. "Tell us!"
"Oh, it's fairly simple..." Monoputa moved his veil upwards so he could look directly at everyone.
"If you want to get out, you need to commit a murder without getting caught!"
"M-murder?!" Steve's eyes rolled back and he almost fell over. Catherine practically flew over to him and caught him, fanning his face and mumbling soothing words.
Poor Conductor let out an alarmed scream and ran for the front doors, pulling at them with all his might. When they didn't budge, he let out a dramatic, defeated cry and slid to the floor, burying his face in his hands.
"For goodness sake, get a hold of yourself!" Cactus Girl scolded the defeated conductor. "He has to be joking!"
Monoputa grinned slyly. "I can assure you I'm not. What I say is the truth, and it's only a matter of time until you believe it."
"Neat!" James exclaimed, his eyes glimmering. Gregory gasped and covered James' mouth.
"Don't say things like that!" he scolded, earning himself a muffled sigh from his grandson.
"This is insane! You're insane!" Sarah pointed an accusing finger at Monoputa. "None of us are going to kill anyone!"
"Ahh, I thought you all would react this way," Monoputa huffed. "Well, you guys could stay here forever, living happily and peacefully... which I'm sure you would do if I didn't prepare a motive for the murders!"
"What do you mean, a motive?" Mummy Papa managed to squeak out. His head was pounding awfully hard; he could barely speak, let alone think.
"Tah-daaaaaaaah!" Monoputa reached behind him and pulled out sixteen envelopes, waving them in the air. "I've got your embarrassing seeeecrets right here! And if there isn't a death within two days, I'm going to reveal all of these secrets to everyone over the intercom!"
He ran around the room, handing everyone envelopes with their names on them. "One for you, one for you, one for you, one for you..."
Sarah opened up her envelope and blushed when she saw:
Sarah stalked a boy she liked for three months when she was thirteen!
Judgement Boy tore into his envelope with his teeth and peeked at the contents, turning even redder than usual. "How... how did you find this out?!" He glared at Monoputa, who, along with James, burst into a giggling fit.
"Serves you right, ya butt!" James pulled down the skin under his eye, sticking out his tongue at Judgement Boy. Judgement Boy ignored James. He knew better than to indulge an insult from a child.
"James, you shouldn't tease others so readily..." Gregory sighed. "After all, your secret is going to be revealed too!"
"Pfft, come on, Grandpa, it's not a big deal!" James tore into his envelope and his jaw dropped when he saw his secret. "N-no way! No one can know this! No one!" James' eyes filled up with tears and he looked at his grandpa pleadingly. "Grandpa, can you go kill someone for me?"
"James, no!" Gregory glared at his grandson.
"You're thinking of killing me, aren't you, Gregory?" Gregory Mama suddenly appeared behind her son, a sadistic smirk on her face. "I'd kill you three times over before you could lay a greasy little finger on me!"
"N-no, Mama, not in a million years!" Gregory shook his head rapidly.
"These are so... petty..." Neko Zombie made a face at his secret and squinted at Monoputa. "Do you really think we're going to kill over secrets as silly as these? I don't care if this gets out."
"Me either!" Clock Master nodded sagely. "Neko Zombie's right. No one is going to kill anyone over something so foolish."
"That's what you say..." Monoputa snickered, nodding at Judgement Boy Gold. "But look at this one's face! That's the face of a man who'd be ruined if his secret got out!"
Sarah couldn't help sneaking a peek. Judgement Boy Gold had gone pale beneath his luster, and his hands were shaking, threatening to drop the secret to the ground for all to see.
"Aww, Boss... it can't be as bad as you think!" Judgement Boy sidled up to Gold, who shrieked and used his teeth to tear his secret to shreds.
"Don't get too happy with thaaaaat~" Monoputa shook his hips, a smug expression on his face. "I have looooots of copies! No matter how many of those you tear up, there will be a million more to replace it! It's gonna get read no matter what!"
"Too much! Too much is happening at once!" Judgement Boy Gold finally found his voice, which was hoarse and squeaky, a harsh contrast to his usual deep baritone. "Murder... secrets... being trapped... I need to lie down."
Without even saying goodbye, Gold made a beeline for his room.
"Gold!" Judgement Boy held out a hand after his boss, but realized comforting him would be futile.
"Oooh, Grandpa, I'd watch out for that one," James snickered. "He's clearly gone nuts! He'll probably go for you, because you're so old and weak!"
"I am not weak, James!" Gregory scolded, puffing out his chest. "I'm quite spry for my age, thank you! And someone in Judgement Boy Gold's mental condition wouldn't kill, he'll probably be up all night crying like a baby." Gregory chuckled, shaking his head.
"Such a shame," Gregory Mama sighed. "I would have loved to have you out of my hair..."
Gregory elected to ignore his mother's comment. One could never know if she was joking or not...
"If we have to live here forever, so be it!" Angel Dog nodded sagely. "We all seem like we get along well. I'm sure we can find ways to pass the time! If anyone kills anyone else, I'll..." Angel Dog's voice dropped a bit low, but she coughed and shook her head around before she finished her sentence. "Well, I won't be very happy at all!"
"I'm going to finish cooking breakfast," Hell's Chef announced, pocketing his secret and lumbering to the kitchen like nothing had even happened.
"Oh, I bet he's going to crack first..." Poor Conductor grumbled to whoever would listen once Hell's Chef was out of earshot. "Something about that man just rubs me the wrong way..."
"How dare you say that!" Catherine jammed a pointy nail into Poor Conductor's chest. "He's perfectly sane! Just because he looks scary doesn't mean we're going to wake up tomorrow and find that he killed all of us!"
"Oh, he can't do that," Monoputa hopped onto Poor Conductor's shoulders and leaned against his head. Poor Conductor visibly bristled, staying completely still. "If you kill more than one person, you instantly get the axe! Someone tell Hell's Chef later that-"
"I volunteer!" Catherine raised a hand like a first grader who just had to tell the teacher the answer.
"Atta girl," Monoputa nodded approvingly at her. "Anyway, like I was saying, after a murder occurs, it's up to all of you to figure out who the perp is! Ooh, I always wanted to say perp..."
"H-how will we figure it out?" Steve finally spoke up, doing his best to keep from shaking. In a situation like this, he couldn't afford to be his usual flighty self.
"I don't know if you noticed, but we're not detectives," Cactus Girl cut in, her hands on her hips.
"Fifteen heads are better than one!" Monoputa grinned at her. "I'm going to give you a limitless investigation, and once I think you've got plenty of clues, we're going to have a trial!" Monoputa pumped a fist into the air. "If you guys figure out who did it, hooray! The murderer gets executed and you can all go on with your lives!"
"And what if we don't find the killer?" Catherine asked, tilting her head slightly in thought.
"Yeah, what happens then?" Judgement Boy squinted at Monoputa, who covered his mouth and giggled.
"What if we pick the wrong person?" Steve inquired, rocking back and forth nervously. "I'd hate it if someone got executed for a crime they didn't commit!"
Roulette Boy giggled, despite the seriousness of the conversation. "Imagine living your life knowing you sentenced an innocent person to death, Steve! All that shame pinned on you." He let out a loud, genuine laugh. "I'd want to see your face!"
Steve's hands latched onto either side of his head, the intensity of his fear growing by the second. "Ooh, don't say that does happen!"
"Oh, don't worry, it doesn't. But... everyone except the murderer gets executed and the murderer gets to go back to reality, happy as can be!" Monoputa said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
That statement made the room fall into a thick, palpable silence. Monoputa could practically sense the distrust and smirked to himself, scanning everyone's expressions.
The silence was broken by Hell's Chef calling everyone to eat breakfast.
Sarah, nauseated by the news, didn't feel much like eating, but she trudged into the kitchen along with everyone anyway.
"Remember~!" Monoputa sang as everyone walked away. "I better smell blood within 48 hours or all of your dirty little secrets will be revealed~!"
Sarah clenched her fists and glared over her shoulder at Monoputa, ready to storm over and kick him into next week.
"Senorita, you shouldn't fight this battle!" Cactus Gunman grabbed onto her arm before she could act on her impulse. "That... thing isn't normal. I would hate for you to get hurt."
Sarah sighed and nodded at Cactus Gunman. "You're right... if only it was his blood we could spill..."
"I wouldn't say that so loud..." Gunman filed Sarah into the kitchen, hoping that Monoputa didn't hear her little comment.
Gunman's hopes were in vain, though, Monoputa heard every word Sarah said.
"She's a feisty one..." Monoputa lounged on the couch, smirking as Sarah disappeared into the kitchen. "I'll have to keep an eye on her."