AUTHOR'S NOTE: Each chapter will be about a different time in Aly's future. More sads in this chapter.

My phone rang and I picked it up.

The screen said, "Dean Winchester calling".

He was using his 'official hunter phone' for some reason. It rang two, three, four times- I had to make a decision whether to answer or let it go to voice mail. Did I want to talk to him? He had chosen sides, he had stayed with Dad. He had stood on the curb and watched as Sam and I drove away. That had hurt as much as Dad telling me, "If you leave then don't come back."

I answered the call on the sixth ring and put the phone up to my ear. "Hello?" I asked uneasily.

There was silence on the other end of the line. And then, "Alyson?"

Dean's voice sounded rough, like it got when he'd been up all night or out drinking.

"Yes?" I replied cooly. I wasn't sure how to respond or even how I felt. I wanted to break down crying or scream in anger at him.

"Hey, uh...how you doin' ?" Dean's casualness seemed forced.

"Really?" I asked, anger coming to the surface, "Really? After everything that went down, you're calling me and acting all casual like nothing happened, like he didn't say-"

"Dad was in the hospital, I had to rush him to the ER," he blurted.

"WHAT?!" I felt tears come to my eyes, "Oh no, what happened?"

"After, uh, after you and, uh, you guys left, he...he started feelin' bad, started having chest pains."

I burst into tears. "Oh my God Dean is he okay?" I asked in a panic. I walked over to the closet and pulled out my duffle, intending to pack and rush home immediately. "What happened? Is- is he-"

"No, he's okay...he's- it was just stress." Dean sighed heavily, "They kept him overnight, and you know him, he bitched and complained the whole time, and when they released him, he lit into me the whole way home."

"Of course," I said bitterly, wiping my eyes, "What was wrong?" I took a deep breath and made myself stop crying.

"He's got high blood pressure now. And, the start of liver damage or something, I don't know. They told him to watch what he eats because his cholesterol is too high and he's got to take medicine for the blood pressure and quit drinking."

"Fat chance of that happening," I scoffed.

"Yeah I know. I've been trying, but you know how he is- stubborn as all get out," he sighed again.

There was an uncomfortable pause as I tried to figure out what to say.

"Listen, Aly, I just wanted to say I'm sorry-"

"What are you sorry for- you didn't do anything. You didn't kick me out and tell me to stay gone. It was all him," my voice was bitter again.

"Please don't- please don't do this-" Dean's voice was distressed, and I heard him take a deep breath, and it sounded like he was trying not to cry.

Tears came to my eyes again.

"Dean, you were there- you heard what he said to me!"

"I know, Aly, I know, I just- this is really hard-"

"Well it's hard for me too!" I snapped, my voice louder than I intended, "You're not the only one this affected!"

"I know-" I heard another intake of breath that could have been a sob, and my heart hurt. Dean never cried. I could count the times I had actually heard him sob on the fingers of one hand.

I heard a rustling, and then he cleared his throat. "Can we, uh, can we start over?"

"What do you mean?" I asked supiciously.

"How is it there? You know, college life and all."

"I just moved in, my room-mate isn't even here. Classes start next week."

"Oh."

I realized that Dean had no idea how college or living on campus worked because he'd never been. Sam had explained everything to me on the trip here.

"How is, uh-"

"He's fine," I said stoically, "He found a little place nearby."

I heard him exhale. "Good."

After a moment, he said, "Tell him I said hey, would ya?" and his voice broke.

I realized then, what a huge rift this had put in our family. My leaving had broken us apart- Sam and me on one side, Dean and Dad on the other. And I didn't see a way to get us back together again.

I rubbed a hand over my eyes to brush away the tears that had started again.

"Dean," I said suddenly, "Please, I don't want this- I don't-" I felt like a scared kid, and I wanted nothing more to be back in the middle of my family, surrounded my my brothers and Dad and knowing that they were there protecting me.

"What if this doesn't work? What if all that- was for nothing?" I exclaimed.

"You'll do fine, kiddo, you're smart, you'll ace all your classes." he said confidently, "Hell, you faced down a roomful of demons, remember? You got this."

"Dean, I'm sorry," I said, remembering the fear and panic on his face when I had announced to them that I was leaving for college. He had known that it wasn't going to sit well with Dad. He had known that it was going to cause upheaval. He had tried to calm Dad down, but in typical John Winchester fashion, Dad had become like a bull in a china shop and started yelling and storming around.

"No, Aly, shh," he said, "don't start that, okay?" I heard more rustling. "Listen, I gotta go, okay?"

"Okay Dean," I said, and I heard him make a slight noise that might have been a chuckle.

"Well, you take care," he said awkwardly, "And know that I love ya, short stuff."

He disconnected the call before I could reply, and upon hearing his childhood nickname for me, I broke down.

I sank down on the bed and dropped the phone next to me, put my face in my hands, and just sobbed.

After a few minutes I had calmed down. I picked up my phone again and dialed another number.

"Yeah?" Sam picked up right away, "Everything okay?"

"De-Dean just called me," I said, and I dissolved into tears again.

"Oh," he said.

"Can you- can you come over?" I asked.

"Well, uh- if your dorm is like all the others you probably aren't allowed visitors after a certain time." he said unconfortably. It was late, after 11 pm.

"Can I come over? And stay with you? Will you come get me? Please?"

He sighed. "I thought you wanted-"

"Sam? Please?" I sniffled.

"All right, Aly, I'll be there in a few minutes. Wait inside for me."

Sam had found a tiny, already furnished one-bedroom apartment, about 2 blocks from the school. He said the area was great, it was a "college town" meaning that a lot of the town had made things easy for college students to get around. They had a public transportation system that consisted of public buses and also smaller buses that drove around campus and to places in town like the local library and the apartments that upperclassmen stayed in. There were grocery stores and restaurants and all kinds of shops within walking distance of the campus.

I put my phone in my pocket and walked downstairs to the lobby, pacing as I waited for Sam.

My phone buzzed after a few minutes. He had texted me, saying, "I'm walking up the sidewalk now."

I peered out the small front window and there he was, standing at the bottom of the stairs. I opened the door and ran down to him, throwing my arms around his chest and starting to cry again.

"Shh, it's all right," he comforted. After a moment he pulled back and looked down at me. "What'd he say?"

"Dad, uh, Dad had to go to the ER for chest pains," I said.

"Dammit," he said, "Why does he have to call you and start guilting you first thing?"

"He- he didn't, Sam," I said, "We talked a little too. He wanted to let me know about Dad though."

"Hmph." He put his arm around my shoulder and we started to walk.

It was a balmy night and the walk was pleasant. He got his key out and unlocked his door. He lived in a large old house that had been divided up into small apartments for college students.

We walked in and Sam gestured to his bedroom door. "You can sleep in there," he told me.

"No, I'm the guest, it's your bed, I can take the sofa," I said.

"Well, I- I don't really sleep in the bed," he said sheepishly, "It's too small for me, I have to lay diagonally. I've been sleeping on the futon, it's long enough."

"Oh, okay," I said, "Thanks."

"You didn't bring anything?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Didn't think about it."

I walked into his bedroom and noticed that he had my senior picture in a frame on his dresser, but no other photographs. It made me feel sad, and a rush of memory overwhelmed me about the time that Dean and I had driven to Stanford to talk to Sam. I remembered being thrilled to sleep in his bed that night, it was the first time Sam had ever had his own bedroom. And even though Dad had kicked him out, Sam had had a couple of framed photos of all of us on his bureau.

Dean and I had driven through the night to see Sam, and in the end Dean convinced him to come back home to help us- I had been having nightmares that had turned into night terrors, and Dad had been gone for a few weeks. Sam had come home with us intending to stay for a short while and ended up leaving school.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and tears filled my eyes.

Sam walked into the room and saw me crying. "Hey," he said, and came to sit next to me. "What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking about when we came to get you at Stanford," I said, "I don't think I ever thanked you for coming home just to help me with my nightmares."

"Well, it wasn't just you I was coming back to help," Sam said, "Dean was in a pretty deep depression."

"He was?" I asked.

"Yeah, don't you remember, the house was a wreck, garbage hadn't been taken out, fridge was empty, you told me he kept forgetting to give you lunch money- and he had a week's worth of scruff on his face when you guys got there."

"I-I didn't even notice," I admitted, feeling guilty, "I mean I did notice all that but I didn't- I didn't know it was because of depression."

"You were a kid, and you had your own problems you were dealing with," Sam said.

I turned to him. "What if- what if he gets depressed again?" I exclaimed, "What if I screwed everything up, and this doesn't work, and I- I can't do it, and then we try to go home and- and Dad doesn't-" the words caught in my throat.

I couldn't imagine going home and admitting that I had failed, and I couldn't imagine what I would feel if I went home and then Dad refused to let us come back.

"Dean's a big boy, he can take care of himself," Sam said, "and he made the decision to stay there."

I started to cry again. "What if this is all a terrible mistake?" I asked.

Sam put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. "It's not, Aly. Something like this was- was bound to happen, it's been a long time coming. And you're going to do really well here, I know it."

He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "It's late, try and get some sleep. Tomorrow we can go out and you can help me get some groceries, okay? I want to get some dishes too, you can help me pick them out."

"Okay, Sam," I said, grateful for him trying to bring some normalcy to the situation. I put my arms around him and hugged him, and then he stood up and left the room.

I got into his bed, smelling his Sam-smell on his pillow, and when I fell asleep I didn't remember my dreams.