Chapter 2.
Kakashi feels numb by the time he reaches the stage. His feet move automatically, his body a husk that moves on autopilot. Uzumaki Kushina smiles at him. There's something behind her eyes he can't identify. She pulls him into a hug like she did with Rin.
"I'm so sorry. Truly." She whispers, then straightens. For a moment he sees regret in her face, but then her eyes go carefully blank. She puts her mask back on and turns to the crowd. It occurs to him that her face was hidden from the camera's when she hugged him.
"Please give a warm applause for this year's heroic Tributes, Nohara Rin and Hatake Kakashi!" She calls out into the microphone.
Kakashi steps up next to Rin. Her eyes are scanning the crowd. Looking for her family, Kakashi thinks. He tries to find his father in the crowd, searches for that familiar shock of silver hair, but he can't find it. Did his father leave? Or was he unable to stand it, and had he sunk to the ground? Kakashi feels nauseous.
A small, warm hand grabs his. Rin's fingers are surprisingly strong. Kakashi looks at her with wide eyes. She smiles back at him, although her eyes look terrified.
Yeah. Scary brave.
Kakashi hesitantly squeezes her fingers in return. Rin's smile widens and she turns back to face the District. Kakashi looks as well. He can see Gai now, who has regained his composure and is trying very hard to look tough, his shoulders squared and his thick eyebrows drawn together. He catches Kakashi's eye and balls his fist in front of his chest, as if to say, 'you can do this.'
Maybe. Maybe. Kakashi will try. Gai's faith in him is just one more reason to try.
Kushina finishes her speech, which is followed by a tame applause from the District. Kakashi remembers standing in the audience and clapping himself, feeling a dull sense of dread at the idea that the kids who'd just been reaped were probably going to die, yet relief because he wasn't one of them. He wishes he could go back to being one of them, one of the lucky ones who wasn't reaped. Just last night dad told him not to take any more tesserae. Kakashi wishes he'd taken that lesson to heart last year.
Peacekeepers join them on the stage to herd them to the mayor's house. The mentors are nowhere to be seen, but Kushina assures them they will meet back on the train.
The mayor is a man of perhaps thirty, his black hair pulled back into a short ponytail. A nasty accident with a drunk with a knife has left the mayor's face mutilated, but his keen mind and fair policies ensure his popularity in the District.
Kakashi has met him a few times. He's a nice man, if a bit severe, and very, very clever. He has a toddler back at home, and a wife. In other words, plenty of reason to care.
He shakes Kushina's hand. "Nara Shikaku," He introduces himself, "the children may wait in the drawing rooms over there. There is one for Rin and one for Kakashi."
Children, not tributes. Kakashi doesn't miss the distinction. A nice sentiment, but it won't save their lives.
Kushina nods. She turns to Kakashi and Rin. Her fake smile has disappeared again and her brows are furrowed. "I'm afraid you won't have much time. You will have ten minutes to say goodbye to your family, two guests at a time. Don't try anything, the Peacekeepers will shoot you with tranquilizers if you do."
"What are we, cattle?" Kakashi sneers. The fog in his mind has begun to lift, which apparently means he's capable of making sarcastic remarks again. That probably won't help him here.
Rin bites her lip and looks at the ground.
Kushina has the decency to flinch. "I know it's-" She breaks off and looks at the walls. Kakashi can see her swallow.
"Go to your room. Rin takes the one on the left, Kakashi the one on the right. Hurry now, the Peacekeepers will not wait." She says, whatever she had wanted to say originally remaining a mystery. Her eyes are steely and hard, but her voice softens. "Go now. Your parents want to see you."
My parents are either dead or as-good-as, Kakashi wants to say, but he holds back. He does want to see his dad, more than anything, and he hopes that Sakumo managed to fortify himself enough to show up for this. Kakashi needs him to.
He allows himself to be led into the room. It's nice, nicer than any of the houses or buildings in the rest of the District. The furniture is simple but of good quality. Kakashi picks out a chair and carefully lowers himself into it, marveling at the sensation of the soft cushions supporting his body.
He's on his feet the next second when the door slams open and his father storms in. Sakumo's face is white as a sheet and his eyes look wild and dark. "Kakashi? Oh god- my son-"
Then he's clutching at Kakashi, and Kakashi is clutching back, digging his fingers into the rough spun fabric of his father's shirt. His father sobs once into Kakashi's shoulder, then pulls back. He wipes at the tears on his face and then cradles Kakashi's head between his still strong hands.
"Kakashi, you listen to me now. There's no time to despair, no time at all- you gotta- you gotta focus, and you gotta win, okay? And you can only do that if you don't panic-" Sakumo rambles. His eyes are wild but so so alive.
It's really quite ironic that Kakashi's impending death has brought his father back to life.
Kakashi takes hold of his father's hands. "Dad, I know- I'm not stupid," Kakashi says.
"Exactly, exactly." Sakumo points at him, his every movement full of pent up energy, as though he'd been storing it for years only to use it all up here and now. "You use your mind, son. You'll outsmart them all. You can win this. I know you can. Don't stop thinking. Don't panic. You can do it."
Kakashi feels tears in his eyes because somehow, somehow, his dad is awake. He grabs his dad's shirt again and can't meet his eyes. He feels like a little kid again, scared of the noise the trees make when they fall down. He doesn't know how to express his feelings very well, never has, so he just buries his face in his father's chest. Sakumo's arms wrap around him, safe and warm. Kakashi pretends they're not shaking.
"Dad- how did mom..? She got shot, right?" Kakashi forced himself out of his father's embrace and met his eyes.
Sakumo blinked at him. Pain flickers over his face and for a moment he is himself again, broken and sad, but then he takes a deep breath. "See? Already using your mind. Your mom, she trusted too much. Don't trust anything, not even your surroundings. Food, water, animals- the Capitol likes to mess with them so they can mess with your head. Half the kids die because of the Arena. Don't be one of them. Don't die at all."
He chokes on the last few words and they hug again.
"I can't lose you." Sakumo whispers.
"I'll win. I will. I'll win for you." Kakashi promises.
"Don't- but don't- that girl. Rin? Don't leave her behind. Never leave your District friends behind." Sakumo says vehemently. "Work together. You'll live longer together. Promise me."
"I-I can't win if she lives."
"I know, I know. But killing- it does things to you, son. Don't do that to someone you care about." Sakumo says urgently.
"One more thing. Listen to your mentors." Sakumo says, "Hiruzen and Minato are good ones. I've seen them fight, too, and the more you can learn from them the better. Absorb every bit of information you get, okay?"
Kakashi nods. That was never the problem. He knows he's clever- he's the cleverest kid in his class and he remembers almost everything he's told automatically. His teacher used to say he has a mind like a trap, and he knows this is true. He can memorize things instantly and then bend and twist them into new ideas.
Other than that? He's short for his age and lean, hasn't got much strength in his arms or back. But he's fast. So he's got speed, and he's got brains. Size and strength are out, but two out of four isn't bad. Could be worse. It's not impossible.
Maybe. He'll try.
They spend a few more moments huddled together. His father continues to whisper advice and encouragements, but he gets increasingly incoherent as the minutes tick by. By the end of it his eyes have gone dull again, but that's okay. Kakashi is grateful that he got to see the man underneath again, even if it was so briefly.
Sakumo has to be pried loose from their embrace when the time is up. Kakashi wants to tell him he loves him but can't bring himself to do it. He hopes his last look manages to convey it anyway.
The room closes behind Kakashi's dad and the Peacekeepers, and with it the room goes silent. A tremendous amount of restlessness takes over Kakashi's limbs, and he paces the room. He feels as though he is about to burst when the door opens again and Gai comes through.
Kakashi stops pacing and the boys look at each other. Gai sits down carefully in one of the chairs. Where Kakashi feels like a bundle of nerves and energy, Gai is uncharacteristically lackluster and pale beneath his tan.
Kakashi continues to pace. Gai doesn't say anything. This goes on for, what, two minutes? Then Gai shifts uneasily and finally speaks. He sounds like a little kid when he does.
"You always beat me at wrestling," he offers, "our score is 30-29, your advantage."
What he means to tell Kakashi by it, he isn't sure. A laugh bubbles up in Kakashi's throat and escapes before he can stop himself. It's a single, desperate sound. He's probably off to his death and here Gai is, reminding him of their ridiculous competitions.
"So- so I was thinking.. If you win the Games, you'll have a 1-0 head start." Gai powered through.
"You're not going to be reaped." Kakashi says.
"Maybe. Maybe not. If I am, I'll win too, I'll catch up with you." Gai says, and there's tears in his eyes. To be fair, Gai is a giant crybaby who'll cry at the first show of kindness if given the chance, so Kakashi doesn't read too much into it. The other kids tease him mercilessly about it, but Kakashi, who cannot express himself if his life depends on it, appreciates the quality. It's why they're friends, probably.
Just as he now appreciates what Gai is trying to say. It's ridiculous, it's childish, but it's another anchor for him to weigh himself down with and keep from being swept up by sheer and utter panic.
"Thanks. I'll win for sure." He looks over Gai's head as he says it, though. Anything to not look at that dumb grin on his friend's face. He wants to shake Gai and tell him that he'll probably die horribly, with trained Careers preening over his body, but Gai is so hopeful that Kakashi can't bring himself to do it.
He'll have to try.
They spend the rest of the time in the uncomfortable silence of two boys who, despite their friendship, lack that snap of connection that marks easy friendships such as Asuma and Kurenai's. They're too different to be able to bounce ideas and jokes off each other, and the situation is too terse for either of them to try.
Still, Gai actually came, which is more than Kakashi can say for any of his other classmates. It puts Gai head and shoulders above all the rest, no matter what. He wonders what they think Kakashi's odds of winning are. He suspects they root for Rin, who has many friends and is liked by everyone she meets. Only two people will be sad if Kakashi dies. Many more will be devastated if Rin does. His stomach does a funny little lurch.
Gai leaves with drooping shoulders and Kakashi thinks that perhaps Gai already knows he probably won't come back. The thought that even someone as oblivious as Gai can see it crushes his tentative confidence even further.
The Peacekeepers herd Rin and Kakashi to the train. Kakashi has never been this close to the train before- it looks dangerous and looming, and it smells like the air after a thunder storm.
The train starts to move with a deep shudder, shortly after they board. Kakashi can barely even feel that they're moving at all. He looks back through the window and sees the landscape flash by. They're already leaving Konoha District's familiar forest behind them.
Kushina smiles a little at Kakashi and Rin's astonished faces, then quickly moves on and shows them how to work the holo-screens that seem to occupy every room, as well as the lights. The disconnect between this world and the one Kakashi is familiar with is so extreme that he feels like he is dreaming. Judging by Rin's dazed expression, she feels the same way.
The holo-screen shows some nonsensical show about a Capitol woman who falls in love with a mysterious barber. The sub-plot seems to consist of the barber being a disguised secret agent, which makes no sense whatsoever and does nothing to distract Kakashi from his impending doom.
Fortunately Rin feels the same way, and with a decisive move she turns the holo-screen off. They sit next to each other on the couch and don't speak. There's no need to. Kakashi feels more kinship with this girl he's barely even talked to than he does to anyone else right now. He doesn't try to distance himself from the feeling even though he knows his survival means her death and vice versa, because he doesn't think he can cope without at least one person around who understands how knowing you're probably going to die soon feels.
God, the Victors must be going crazy.
Kushina shows up after a few minutes and guides them to the adjacent room, which is large and luxurious. They sit down at a table that is crammed full of more food than Kakashi has ever seen in his life. The mentors are sitting at the table as well, and Kakashi draws some comfort from their familiar faces.
"Please, take a seat," Sarutobi says, gesturing at the table. The food looks even better from up close. Kakashi smells chicken, fresh bread, the sweet lingering taste of fruit, and other smells he can't even identify. It smells like paradise.
He takes a seat opposite Namikaze Minato, who smiles at him. He tries to remember when the blond won his Games. He can't remember, so he figures he must have been young. That means Minato was young, too, which means he is good. Minato gives him a sunny smile. Kakashi frowns.
Rin takes place beside him. She folds her hands in her lap and smiles back at Minato. "It is an honor to meet you both," She says softly.
Kakashi sniffs. He looks at the plate set before him and the delicious smelling soup bowl right next to it. For a moment he thinks his father, saying 'trust nothing'- but it smells too good, and anyway, they won't kill him off on the way there. He takes the bowl in both hands, puts aside thoughts of poison, brings it to his mouth, and drinks deeply. The soup tastes rich and hot. It's the best thing he's ever had.
"That's Miso Soup," Sarutobi says. He looks amused. "Eggplant." He clarifies.
Kakashi nods, and drinks more. Rin is giving him funny looks. She hasn't taken any food yet. Why not? Isn't she hungry? The others are all looking at him, with various degrees of amusement on their faces. He frowns back at them all. "What? I'm hungry,"
"Nothing, Kakashi-kun," Minato says, shaking his head. "Let's dig in, shall we? And, I think, with our next meal, we might practice table manners."
Oh. Really? Gosh. He was on his way to certain death and they worried about table manners?
Sarutobi must have spotted his incredulous look. "Appearances are important in the Capitol, Kakashi. Remember that. It might save your life."
"How so-"
"It's about sponsors, isn't it?" Rin interrupts him. It's the first thing he's heard her say. Her voice is soft, but sure and steady, not timid like he'd imagined.
She gives him an apologetic look. "You see, Kakashi- people will want to help us if they like us. They can send us medicine and food while we're in the arena ."
Kakashi crosses his arms across his chest. That makes sense, but it makes him feel sick. He's not a very likeable person. His lack of friends attests to that.
"You are actually quite lucky, Kakashi-kun," Kushina says. "You have a striking appearance. The Capitol will love it. And Rin-chan is a very pretty girl."
"Striking?" Kakashi repeats incredulously.
"Not many people have hair like that."
Kakashi tries to think of an answer to that but comes up blank. His hair, which will only stand up in impossible directions, stays wet for hours after washing it, and earned him the nickname 'ghost' when he was a kid, has never seemed like much of an asset to him. So instead he shrugs and returns to his soup, draining the last dregs with a few deep tugs.
Dinner is a quiet affair. Minato and Sarutobi ask them about their families. When Kakashi only answers in sentences that are, on average, about three words long, they quickly switch to Rin. She tells them about her father, a kind wood-worker, and her older brother, who aged out of the Reaping last year. Her mother is a midwife, and good at carving figures out of the scraps of wood her husband brings home. They sound like good, kind people. People deserve better.
It feels almost nice to sit at the table and eat with strangers, but Kakashi misses his father and is too aware of what is to come to truly enjoy the moment. The food is great, however, so he focuses on that instead. He is aware of Sarutobi's eyes on him the entire course.
When they finish eating, Minato claps his hands together once. "For simplicity's sake, we decided to each coach one of you individually. While it would be wonderful for the two of you to work together in the Arena, you will also need to learn individual skills."
He glanced over at Sarutobi. "We've decided I will mentor Kakashi, and Hiruzen will mentor Rin."
Kakashi blinks and looks at Minato's kind blue eyes. Minato is handsome, with tan skin, long blond bangs and sky blue eyes. He doesn't look threatening in the least. He does not look like a Victor, truth be told. He looks like a man who has spent his life unburdened and happy. This is probably not the case, but still Kakashi doubts his ability to teach Kakashi the skills he needs to survive. If he'd had to choose a mentor, he would have chosen Sarutobi, who is more experienced and has an edge of coldness in his eyes at all times, even when he plays with children or talks to his son.
There is no coldness in Namikaze Minato. Not that Kakashi can tell, anyway.
After they leave the table, they mentors leave the room to discuss strategy while Kushina walks the Tributes through a few basic steps of Capitol etiquette. Kakashi has a hard time focusing. It has gone dark outside, they have left the District behind, and without artificial lighting the stars can be seen easily. It's breathtakingly beautiful.
Kushina notices and follows his gaze. Rin gasps softly. Her eyes widen and seem to reflect the stars themselves. She is pretty. She is also entirely too innocent for something as vile as the Hunger Games.
Kakashi doesn't sleep much that night.
AN:
Posting early to cheer myself up. The next chapter will be a little bit longer!