Chapter 2 - Mary Sue Traits Part II
This is part 2 of the Trope Discussion! This time we will be focusing on the Mary Sue specifically, more appearances, their common usages and how they tie in to OC/OOC creation and writing!
Explanations of common Mary Sue story factors will also be done!
Make sure you guys join the Trope forums! I want to see some cancer there stat!
Before we move onto the to the Mary Sue aspect, I will be going over something I have been talking about a lot in the story 'The Nothing Dragon Slayer's Misadventures in Fairy Tail'.
The fabled, cringey usages of 'Mysterious Pasts' and some of its related content.
For those of you who value your anal virginities, please skip the next portion of the chapter, otherwise you would feel what it is like to have your prostate stretched by a bulldozer.
Mysterious Pasts: Now what exactly is a mysterious past? Essentially, it is as the name says - basically a past that is mysterious…that is, something that happened to the character prior to the storyline that is unknown to the reader and possibly to the other characters.
What makes it so bad? Nothing really; but, what DOES make it bad are the common usages with it as a plot device.
For the most part, the words 'Mysterious Past' are put in the summary itself for the following reasons:
- Learned from other authors doing the same.
- Does not want to put in the time and effort to create a proper backstory, and simply world build as the story goes in with countless flashbacks.
- Basically a fail safe, because the past can be changed as it goes due to having no set storyline.
With this cliché, the author will often put a note saying that the Mysterious past will be explained and/or they have plans.
Now, What does this mean really?
Many stories never actually explain the past as it is just there to make the character look cool. The other times, the mysterious past is unresolved, where sometimes they simply add another OC that pops up just to fuck with the MC OC.
The Emerald Knight's Tale by SigmaFang
This is a good example of a 'mysterious past' story where the author does not real much about the character (even his actual name) after 100,000+ words of story. Although this is not necessarily bad or story breaking, it does indeed to lower interest in the character's backstory. If something is kept from people for too long, they tend to forget about it and it no longer becomes important.
In addition, keep in mind that many new writers are impatient, and simply want to write where canon starts. I too, have those tendencies. In my own stories, 'A God's Redemption' and 'The Rise of the Light Bringer', I am nowhere near canon. That doesn't mean I have to write exactly when Fairy Tail canon begins and tell the story of my OC in a series of flash backs.
Here are some other stories and their summaries using the term as a plot device.
Lula the Dragon Slayer Wife by SecretBlackMagic
'A mysterious girl with an even more mysterious past arrives at FairyTail claiming to be Gajeel's wife. Now with this new girl and Levy fighting for his love, the Iron Dragon Slayer must make up his mind on which one shall be his mate. What will become of this strained love triangle? What do all these Dragon Slayers have to do with it?'
Thaw my Heart by Emma and Anna2442
'Another new member has joined FairyTail, and with power the strength of a god, a dark secret, and a surprising choice of a best friend, she has the entire guild in an uproar. One Ice Mage in particular is more than intrigued by this frosty wizard, but her mysterious past leaves everyone with unanswered questions. Yet Gray is determined to find these answers... no matter the cost.'
Flashbacks: Flashbacks are important when telling the back stories of characters. However, your main OC should not have a million flashbacks every other chapter to explain it. Seriously, a story that starts out in the middle of the action then tells a bunch of microflashbacks is quite annoying. Movies that do this often have ONE large flashback that go from the beginning all the way to the first scene.
*Freeze frame, record scratch
However, if there are constant jumps between the current scene and what happened years ago, it becomes difficult to actually grasp just what is and when it is happening.
Here is an example of a story that is a bit excessive on flashbacks.
The Dragon Slayer of Light by Shadow Night Destroyer.
Readers don't have your world building notes, if there is any. We can't track 50 different flashbacks and order them on a neat paper timeline!
It is understandable to have flashbacks when the main OC meets another character, especially if their backstories aren't revealed beforehand. After all, you can't exactly write the backstories of every single character in multiple chapters, right? Oh shit people actually do that. Okay never mind then.
Still, flashbacks should be done when plot points need to be told, and if it is to be done, it should be done where it is easy to tell what is happening, and when it is happening. If you have to have 40,000 words of constant little 500 word flashbacks in a 100,000 word story, then you should probably just write the story starting from the flashback timeline instead of HAVING it as a flashback.
There are times when flashbacks ARE better even if they are used multiple times in one chapter, that is, if the alternative is time skipping multiple times in the same section. Time-skipping could throw off the pacing more so than flashbacks.
An example would be my own story 'The Rise of the Light Bringer'; for those of you who read chapter 7 through 11, you will see that there is a massive one-shot flashback regarding the history of my story. I could have put it as multiple dream sequences, but that would have been redundant, repetitive, and seemingly never ending. I ended dropping all of it at once opposed to writing a separate prologue book simply because that would have been less convenient.
Now, when it comes to distant histories of timelines that happened years before the actual story, the ideal thing would simply be write a completely separate book. In fact, that was my first idea when writing the history; however, because I already have five planned books for my story, I just put the entire history portion into multiple chapters. It certainly isn't the most perfect way to do it, but still better than the alternatives.
Now, the over usages of 'Mysterious Pasts' and 'Flashbacks' could be a grey line between what is overboard and what is not. The definitions above explains what it is like to be extremely overboard with flashbacks and pasts.
An over usage of flashbacks simply meant that there wasn't enough effort or thought put into world building as the author should have done.
To avoid these tropes, simply world build! Think of all the main characters, develop their pasts before actually doing any major writing. Plan who is going to show up in advance or how they are going to show up.
Ex. Does he come to the guild just to find the other characters, are they meeting during a mission, etc.
Are there any characters that will play as an antagonist to the OC? When it comes to revealing what happened to the character, is it enough to fill an arc? If the backstory of your OC is enough to fill an arc, it should be written as an arc, and not as constant flashbacks that alternate between what is happening now and what is happening then over and over.
It is also VERY important to NOT to spam their pasts at the beginning of the chapter NOR should you NEVER reveal them despite constant mentions!
Also, beta readers should be considered when world building to keep track of plot holes.
Always ask yourself these questions: Is the flashback necessary to the plot? Can that flashback told as a separate arc? Is the past of the OC a copy of Erza's or Sasuke's but in Syria with a side of AIDS and Ebola? Tragic pasts are sometimes necessary for more radical outlooks on life; but, keep in mind that whatever past that you decide, it should not be completely overboard and sound like the diary of a Jewish teenager in 1944.
These definitions are combined with my own from TVTropes.
Now that we have the two little tropes out of the way, we can get straight to the Mary Sue bashing!
Mary Sue Traits
Personality: Pfft. This doesn't exist in a Mary Sue. Mary Sues don't really have any sort of relatable personality. There is no character to define, and basically the Mary Sue is there to be god-like and to be defined as random acts of kindness, heroism, perfect romances and *shudders* HAREMS, as well as all-mighty god-like fake struggle powers.
*Cough* Elemental dragon slayer and Rinnegan Naruto *cough*
Whoever came up with this idea, I wish your toast lands butter side down every time you have breakfast, and that you find yourself without toilet paper every time you go to the bathroom.
Keep in mind, a Mary Sue can be perfect with many types of personalities.
Example: a shy Mary Sue that is socially awkward but manages to snag ten guys in a reverse harem despite never deserving it nor is it even logical for it to happen. It only happens because the horrible author says it happens. All ideas are perfect, all jokes are funny - even dumb puns, and will also give perfect advice in romance EVEN without prior knowledge. Everyone trusts the Sue, not only that, the Sue can turn enemies into friends with one speech that they could not have thought of themselves.
Sound familiar? Put a story down below and they will be edited into the story as examples!
Powers of Persuasion: Here comes the almighty persuasive skills of my Mary Sue escaped sentient McDonalds potato! Ok now, I fucking ate it and saved everyone from reading a horrible fanfic.
Every single person will think the Mary Sue's opinion is some god given commandment that should be followed at all costs. Even if there are logic flaws in the argument itself! A good example is character who are usually stubborn randomly take their side.
These are often an indicator of an inexperienced author simply because they do not know how to properly write a struggle. Naruto, OC's, or other canonical characters cannot simply change someone's opinions with a switch! Logical arguments WITHIN the confines of the character should be used.
I see this happening many times in Naruto vs Council stories in which Naruto convinces the council - who are supposed to be extremely stubborn - in just one or two speeches about him being the son of Minato, etc. Then he becomes Hokage. Just because you have logical arguments that COULD potentially work, it doesn't mean you should add a bunch of Mary Sue traits that would be required for the character to actually THINK of the argument.
OOCness is a sign of laziness and bad writing. This is very prevalent in Naruto stories when the writer simply wants to skip scenes he/she does not know how to write to further with other parts of the story.
This sort of unbalanced writing will have its own section later on.
Again, no examples off the top of my head, so help me out :)
Friend to Everything: Exactly as it is. The almighty power of friendship and Nakama that cannot even be defeated by 10,000 Acnologia's. Simply Nakama the shit out of everyone no matter who they are. Nobody will ever be as awesome as the Sue, and the Sue will forgive everyone regardless of their faults or past misdeeds.
AND they will risk their lives of safety for another person, even to people they just met. This is such a classic trait that if you see a dragon slayer be like 'oh yeah gonna save you to protect whatever the fuck + saint philosophy' - it's probably a Sue.
While this is prevalent in Naruto who befriends ABSOLUTELY everyone, this could be a canon sue itself. Basically the character designed by the manga author has Sue traits itself. Writers should not use this excuse to make their own OC's this way, especially without proper build up.
Remember when Naruto switched Nagato and made him revive everyone? That is actually a grey line because we all know how Nagato was manipulated into doing such things out of hatred. Naruto had the proper tools and ideas to convince Nagato as they were both Jiraiya's students. Obito was a bit on the sketchy side but Naruto had some tools as well.
However, what if he convinced Madara, or hell, Kaguya? I've seen some Naruto x Kaguya stories with this setting and that just seems like horrible writing.
Despite that, you should NOT make your OC like this. If you try to add backstories that interconnect your OC with other characters, what usually happens is that the author doesn't world build enough to address potential plot holes. When this happens, the plot holes are normally ignored in favour of continuing the writing even if multiple people point it out.
Incorruptible: The fuck is Greed? The fuck is lust? Is temptation even a bloody word? This is why. Everyone fucking gives in to some random dark power and the Sue pretends to struggle and saves everyone.
This is pretty straight forward. No matter how much temptation or hatred the character feels. They will ALWAYS go the lawful good path, despite it not being realistic.
Tragic Past: This is how the Sue BECOMES after a tragic past. Turns the absolute fuck up on the Angst and CRY about every fucking thing switch, then run from every person that even says a SYNONYM to whatever the fuck their past was about.
Or, they can be an asshole that literally pushes everyone away, cries about it alone, then wait for the love interest to comfort them conveniently, then 'develops' into a slightly less asshole.
Punk Sues and Jerk Sues are in this category.
Or, SUPER HAPPY GENKI FRIENDSHIP TIME. Super tragic past, but smiles and happy but is determined to be cheerful and optimistic even if she was raped by ten different ISIS commanders as well as their goats.
Naruto and Fairy Tail crossovers tend to have a 'Naruto reveals his past scene' where all the characters sympathize with him like some sort of sad movie and he gets mental hand jobs from every girl, resulting in a harem.
The above will be broken down and discussed.
Informed Flaws: Basically what happens when the author tries too hard to actively avoid Mary Sue traits, but instead they fuck up spectacularly and end up creating another jumbled minced collection of spoiled onions.
These flaws never actually hinder the character or make them look bad, basically, it just increases the edgy meter - like a KLUTZ. JESUS that is an overused piece of shit like fake rain in Korean dramas. That is this trait.
Also random substance abuse such as being a drunk is an informed flaw (ramen anyone?). Then all of a sudden the Mary Sue will COMPLAIN about the awesome fucking power or being too perfect or whatever the fuck their purpose is for no other reason than that the Author just want to be like 'shit my OC is too much of a Sue'.
Nice try dumbass we can all see what you did there.
There are MANY examples of informed flaws, many of them also rest in a grey area. Some of the less incompetent authors would be like 'wait I can't just add a flaw for the sake of having a flaw, I have to change the backstory to match it!' This is okay in my books, because you recognize the fact that your character is too powerful, and is changing him in ways that would tie together with their backstory, not in an add for the sake of adding kind of way.
Honestly I am too lazy to read through a million stories just to find a perfect example of an informed flaw, however, I will keep it in mind so if I see one in a story I just so happen to be reading, then I will edit it in. Also, if you guys have any stories you know off the top of your head, feel free to PM me or put it in reviews.
Another good example of a trait done constantly in OC's is the nervousness around the opposite gender. A harem maker that is picture perfect and wise behind their years somehow cannot speak to the opposite sex without turning into a tampon during the crimson tide. This is 100% an informed flaw. People are not hentai manga shy guys that cannot do shit and somehow get laid by every girl in the classroom. Myself, my friends, and literally everyone I know speak to woman just like they talk to people. Seriously, there is nobody actually 'pretty' enough to make you go 'whoahhh' for a million years and suddenly become unable to think.
Of course, that could just be me, as there might be places or groups of people that literally cannot talk to the opposite sex.
Thanks to Lorgan Aurelian for the suggestion on an example.
The character 'Zeke' from Fairy Tail: A New Day has an inferiority complex about his power despite being an S-class mage. I personally think this is in a grey area as insecurity is something even the toughest and smartest of people struggle with, so it is perfectly understandable if an S-class mage has some sort of self-esteem issue. However, without proper build up to a character, simply having the insecurity would be considered an informed flaw.
For example, a way to give a backstory that could lead to insecurity is having abusive parents or being surrounded by people that scolded or lectured for every little mistake. That is probably the most common situation that would lead to insecurity even in real life.
Sudden Personality Changes: Why is this a thing? You already established a perfectly Genki happy go lucky OC and they can randomly become a Yandere? Is this some sort of character randomizer that got spammed incorrectly by a horribly programmed bot?
Basically the author wants to write an edgelord but can't do it properly. This basically becomes a character that mistreats everyone around them by punching them randomly but is never called out on it. Other badass characters, no matter how STRONG, will randomly be put in their place by the OC's cancer factory.
The author tries to make the assholery a flaw, but fails spectacularly. That dumb righteous anger - guess what I'm talking about.
The OC is calm, happy, loves hanging with his friends, THEN THEIR NAKAMA IS HURT.
*Dark shadowed eyes* *Low voices* *Whispers* *Random uppity of power auras* *Super Saiyan 17*
OH BOY THAT IS DISGUSTING YALL IN BLOODY TROUBLE NOW. The FUCKING HAPPY GUY GOING TO GO ALL HITLER ON YOUR ASS BECAUSE 'I WON'T FORGIVE THOSE WHO HURT MY FRIENDS'! BETTER RUN YOUR HAIRLESS ASSHOLES STRAIGHT TO NARNIA CAUSE YOU BE ANGERING THE ALL-SLAYER ELEMENTAL GOD WITH THE UZUGAN OR WHATEVER STUPID BLOODLINE.
Anyways, another one is when the OC defies authority figures, instead of being put to fucking Jail like they're supposed to, the authority figure praises them for their boldness and lets them go, then gives them what they want? This is just bullshit writing right there. This needs to be an actual struggle because standing up to authority is not the same as defying. Doing that in real life will get you arrested.
Again, don't remember specific examples because I'm sure I read this so many times everything just blurred together - Naruto council bashing, etc.
Fighting to protect your friends is an admirable quality to have, but this is so ludicrously cliché it becomes stupid and predictable. All the characters become a copy cat Naruto with no real substance.
Mary Sue Skills
List of random skills: Maybe times, the Sue's abilities won't even be defined. As in, what are the limits, how did this magic appear, where did the OC learn it, what spells can they use. If the Sue has like 9001 different magics, chances are 9000 of them won't even play a role in the plot and is literally just there as an ass-pull to yet again curbstomp another fucking 'villain'. It's there just to make the character more 'awesome'.
Again this is a good example of the above definition. The OC just pulls magic out of her ass like left-over toilet paper on a trailer-park redneck.
Path of a Wizard from Alvarez by Warmachine375
Better than Canon: The Sue will ALWAYS be better than the canon character. Regardless of what canon established what can or cannot do or whatever the fuck the laws of physics state in that particular world.
The OC's power will be similar to those of existing characters, only with downsides and limitations removed.
Ex. Dragon slayer without motion sickness.
I know you guys know what I'm talking about and I know you can feel the cyst growing in your throat.
If the characters need a new skill, the OC will pull it straight out of their ass, this is literally every god-mode Sue. Like fuck get that shit out of here and into the waste department.
This could range from an OC taking another character's fights, or basically Naruto shitstomping every single villain in Fairy Tail. I think I read only one Naruto crossover I actually like where his character was based off of 'The Last' where he was a BIT mature. He also doesn't spout that 'RAMEN IS THE FOOD OF THE GODS' cliché that I see in so many crossovers. Seriously Naruto is flanderized to the point where he becomes a ramen-eating friend-protecting casanova in many of the most favourited stories. I have a feeling people write stories where Naruto's character is fucked to shit because they saw the top favourited stories as inspiration and use that as a source. THAT is a BIG BIG no-no.
This is a trait that should not be done unless enough world building is enough to shift the focus.
Miracle Lyricist: Sometimes, the author might want to add another attractive trait to their character. A common skill they add, would be the ability to sing, well.
While there are people who can sing well, as I do know some of my friends who can do so, adding such a trait to an OC just to gain respect or admiration from other characters would be a Sue trait.
The Beauty but not the Beast: The Sue will be so fucking amazingly attractively that the author has the AUDACITY to play it off as a flaw. 'Wow I get like 10 Harems a day that's my biggest problem and I can't choose between that one girl that wants to eat my man juice' Everyone will be crush-blushed into loving the OC.
Canon characters might have the inner thoughts 'wow he's so cute, no, I can't be thinking this, bad [character name]. Sound familiar? If you see something similar to the above bolded portion, chances are it's a Mary Sue Harem fic that will have many of the sue traits.
Here is an example of the crush-blushing but with more flowery descriptions.
The Prince of Peace by SpectreOfFire.
I actually liked the story above when it was called 'A Long Journey'; but then it was rewritten as a harem. I haven't been this disappointed since they killed House in the final season.
Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze: The Afterlife by Egyptian God Phoenix
Now, the above is one of the most popular Naruto x Fairy Tail stories. Indeed, it is god-like, Mary Sue, and has a harem THAT INCLUDES HIS OWN MOTHER.
Back to the example, here is an excerpt from the story itself.
'The first person that caught her eye was who she assumed was the leader of the group. The man had spiky golden locks, with two jaw length bangs framing his face. He had three whisker marks on each opposing cheek, giving him a more feral yet handsome appearance. His eyes was what drew her to him the most. They were the most intense deep blue eyes she had the pleasure of laying her eyes on. The sheer aura of dominance she felt radiating off him started to make her feel weak in the knees as she began to blush heatedly upon observing him more intently.'
Just like many other Naruto stories, the above excerpt is victim to adjective spamming prose. Erza is not the type of character that will crush blush at Naruto, and the author made Naruto so beautiful that characters will give birth at the sight of him. We all know what Naruto looks like, and objectively speaking - he is nowhere near hot enough to illicit such reactions. If Naruto was that beautiful, he would have had Sakura on his dick year one.
But back to the story (I will be using it for more examples), any character that can cause a reaction similar to the excerpt is a victim of this Sue trait. It is not realistic and should not be practiced in writing. Your OC IS NOT and SHOULD NOT be a 10/10 instant Adonis.
If you were a regular girl and a celebrity shows up at your house saying hi, would you drop everything you are doing just to be part of his harem? If you answer no, then you understand.
Over describing appearances: What this is, is that there will be ONE massive paragraph describing the Sue in GREAT detail. What he's wearing, what colour, the shape of his face, every little detail that nobody will care about in half a chapter.
Often times, the Sue descriptions will use words such as 'sun-kissed blonde hair, 'delicate flower', 'bluest eyes that's ever been seen', 'sparkling cerulean orbs', 'hair that shimmered like the onyx feathers of a raven' or something equally flowery.
The above excerpt in the previous section is a perfect example of unnecessary appearance descriptions. Read the first few chapters of the story itself and you will see more examples.
This type of description is called 'Purple Prose,' it is a descriptive technique often seen in harem or Sue stories.
If you see a paragraph where the author described the OC with such flowery poetic words but see it no where else - chances are it is a Sue. Then not only that, the clothing will get a massive flowery Shakespearean play on each individual outfit in a magical wardrobe.
A New World, The Story of a Lost Shinobi by Lanky Nathan.
Here is an example excerpt from the story above:
'Letting his eyes drift across the room, Naruto picked up on another person in the room, this time male. Seeing his hair, he could now count all of two people he had ever seen that had naturally pink locks. He had a strange sleeveless black and gold trimmed, unzipped waistcoat over his shoulders with no visible shirt on underneath and a weird scaley scarf wrapped around his neck. His lowers were covered with the remaining half of his waistcoats the open front revealing short white trousers that were tied off at the knee with black ribbons. He seemed to be abnormally interested in Naruto too if those wide staring eyes were anything to go by.'
Notice the massive amounts of descriptions that are also bombarded with adjectives? Such an overbearing amount of descriptions could ruin the flow to the story and become extremely redundant.
I will attempt to make the paragraph more concise.
Example excerpt - changed:
'Naruto gazed at the second man, surprisingly, one with naturally occurring pink locks that draped over his shoulders. A scaled scarf was wrapped around his neck, showing off his bare chest that was partially covered by a knee-lengthed waistcoat. White trousers that were rolled up to the knees with black ribbons was adorned on the man's muscular legs. Allowing his gaze to travel up the gold and black trimmings of the coat, Naruto found himself staring back at the curious widened eyes before him.
When it comes to descriptive pacing, many different modifiers can be used in the same sentence. You don't need to do things such as 'He was wearing this', or 'He was wearing that.' Multiple images can be done in the same sentence to better flow, while at the same time revealing more with less words. Lack of sentence variety points to an inexperienced writer!
Keep in mind that, many of the details from the excerpts above can actually be omitted as they are not that important to the story. A waistcoat generally isn't anything that reaches past the waist, so words that describe length will have to be added.
Another detail such as 'tied up with black ribbons' could be omitted as it is a relatively unimportant detail.
Of course, this could just be the different in style. There are authors that simply like describing someone's attire in absolute detail. My own writing style would simply focus on the main parts, and leave the rest to the reader's imagination.
Eye Description: Now when it comes to eye colour, the Sue will often have unusual eyes.
Keep in mind, blue, green, and amber eyes do occur in real life so they are not traits of a Mary Sue. Ex. many Caucasians have green/blue eyes.
Now, a TRUE Sue eye colour would be something such as: Kaleidoscope Eyes, Mismatched eye colours (Heterochromia Iridium) or just weird fucking colours such as complete silver with gold streaks, pure white, etc.
Keep in mind, all the eye colours above COULD be played well. The author needs to give a good reason why they have these eyes.
Some reasons that would not work are:
- Being born with them despite no other family members having it
- Eyes changing colour from gaining a new ability despite no other character in the fandom doing it before
- Because the author said so
Here are some ways to play off eye colours.
Kaleidoscope Eyes: Maybe the OC has eye magic like the thunder god tribe where their magic changed the nature of their appearance. You could say that they overused this magic so much the eye changed according to the magic running through it, etc.
Violet/Gold/Silver etc. - Somewhere along the family line, there was a mutation through using the magic, or simply that particular eye colour is common in the world the story is based in. This is often a Sue trait if a story is written in a world like ours where such colours are not naturally occurring.
Heterochromia Iridium: For those of you who don't know what this is, basically this is a difference in colouration usually of the iris but can happen to the hair or skin. This is the result of the relative excess or lack of pigment. This could be inherited, or be caused by genetic mosaicism, chimerism, disease, or injury.
So if your OC got stabbed in the fucking eye and it healed a lighter colour - this could be true. However, it wouldn't exactly be attractive as their retinas will be visually deformed from past damage and they would likely lose vision partially at the very least in that eye.
Think of it this way: Erza Scarlet had a fake eye and she STILL doesn't have this trait - search up her picture, they are both brown. Getting a new eye can easily be done in the same colour. Using this excuse of a replacement eye is basically being different for the sake of being different. Is there a reason?
IF the fucking Sue has an eye colour of shit like RAINBOW AMBIENT AND GOLD/SILVER ON THE SAME EYE. And, at no means, have any relevance to the story. Then this should be avoided as if the other interactions/mentions about the eye is for other characters to praise the OC or play it off as an informed flaw. This should not be done as it is simply bad practice.
Not only that, it makes me want to pull my intestines out and dump them into a meat grinder just to drink it all down in ten seconds.
A very good example of Mary Sue eyes would be if the eyes were gold/silver because the OC uses gold/silver dragon slayer magic.
In the world of Fairy Tail, you could say something such as: a family of ice mages had a genetic mutation in their blood - spawning white hair and icy silvery eyes. I could see this happening because it could definitely be possible due to a continuous usage of a single type of magic through multiple generations, causing their descendants to have slight changes in appearance.
BUT, if the mother and father weren't mages, and then the OC is found by a dragon then randomly gets different eyes? That is taking the first class ticket to Nopeland where you will stay at the Nope Inn and eat a big bowl of Nopes.
Look Simba, Everything the light touches is our kingdom.
But what about that shadowy place?
That's OC Mary Sue territory, you must never go there!
- Mufasa, The Lion King
Okay not really, but you get the point.
Pets: When it comes to pets, or some sort of animal partner, Mary Sue characters will often have them. Many of the dragon slayer OC's will have a hatched exceed in which they have a parent-child relationship, although some do have the saviour relationship.
Let's take an example, ignoring the fact what I'm about to say is probably the most cliché shit in Fairy Tail fanfictions; when an author writes an OC dragon slayer, they will often or rather DEFINITELY 100% ALWAYS, give them a fucking exceed partner. Of course, 2nd dragon generation slayers are supposed to be an exception as non of the canon slayers had them. You could argue Cobra had the snake but the snake was actually a person.
Now, what type of situation would you NOT have a character gain some sort of pet/friend/partner or whatever the fuck it's supposed to be called. They're pets, deal with it. A dog can be a pet, family, and a friend all at the same time, no point using different terms to make them seem different.
It doesn't really matter what type of animal they are, although wolves tend to be pretty common (cooler version of a dog?). I've seen phoenixes, dragons, horse, and many more. A animal companion is always something nice to have, as it can add more depth to the story. However, the relationship has to be written correctly otherwise you just get a garbage unnecessary character like a dialogue adding exceed.
Now, keep in mind again, that ALL of these traits can actually be written well. I will reiterate time and time again that Mary Sues are written with the above traits with the intention of increasing the appeal of the OC. Of course, the author will have catastrophic failure IF they do not explain why exactly such a trait exists other than to simple boast the OC.
Conclusion: All of these traits are common mistakes in new writers. Many times these mistakes are ignored simply because many of the fanfiction writers don't know what they are doing themselves. I hope by revealing all these traits with examples, I can help out all the aspiring writers in their own stories! I don't regret bad mouthing certain stories simply because some writers don't fix issues due to author bias.
If you are planning to write a story where the MC exhibits such traits, you have to make sure that it is done WITH reason. If the eyes are magically pink, explain that in the world where the character exists, pink is a naturally occurring colour. Their parents should have it as well if that is the case.
Genetic mutations do happen, but the chances of such make any character using that reason a Sue.
Again, repeated story lines and/or traits CAN be done well. Just remember, and I will say this again and again, WORLD BUILD WORLD BUILD WORLD BUILD BETA BETA BETA PROOF READ PROOF READ. Do those three and your story will become infinitely better!
Theme for this chapter: BETA BETA BETA BETA!
See you guys next time!
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Chapter 2 Done! Next Chapter: Mary Sue Traits Part III!
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[ROTLB: The Birth of the Light Bringer]
[ROTLB: Light of Fairies]
[Chef Ramsay]
[A God's Redemption]
[The Nothing Dragon Slayer's Misadventures in Fairy Tail]
Minipa, out!