Naruto grinned as he appeared on the Yondaime's head, glad that he'd whacked his head and had that mental breakthrough that had allowed him to figure out the Hiraishin, and that his father had spammed the entire village with seals, not all of which had worn away quite yet. He was still naked, but it was a warm enough day that it didn't bother him in the least. The chase he'd led the Uchiha and the ANBU on had been fun. Especially when he'd started using the Hiraishin when it became apparent that despite how fast he was, his short legs were working against him, and that those pursuing him could cover more distance in less strides.
The look that had been on Kakashi's face when he'd turned up on the shelf above the man's bed had been absolutely priceless, even though it had been mostly covered by that mask he even wore in his sleep. The look on Kakashi's face after he'd jumped off the shelf, landed on him, jumped off of him, and walked into the small apartment's kitchen and raided his fridge had been even better.
" 'Sup Kakashi-sensei." he'd said when the man had gathered the presence of mind to follow him into the kitchen.
"Is there any particular reason why you're raiding my fridge Naruto-kun?" Kakashi, who apparently hadn't bothered to change out of his ANBU uniform before he'd crawled into bed after his mission, had asked as said mini-nudist had been sampling some of the guy's Miso soup with eggplant which had likely been left over from the previous night's dinner.
"Nah, I just got hungry and since I didn't have any cash on me, I figured here was as good a place as any." Naruto had replied as he'd set the soup aside and decided to go hunting through the man's cupboards for some instant ramen since his predecessor/former sensei was apparently so utterly confused by the situation that the man had decided to just roll with it and see where it went rather than take action, which meant that he wouldn't be stopping him anytime soon.
"So, Naruto, how is it that you can do the Hiraishin?" Kakashi had asked, not bothering to keep him out of his cupboards, as Naruto predicted would be the case.
Having decided to keep Kakashi off balance since he'd be getting a free lunch out of it, Naruto had continued acting as if the situation was perfectly normal, and there hadn't been anything the least bit odd going on, such as Naruto having Hiraishined into Kakashi's apartment six years before he'd officially met the man and nearly seventeen years before he'd actually learned the Hiraishin.
"Meh, Lee went and got drunk at Tenten's wedding and kicked that mental block I had when it came to sealing loose. A week later I ended up accidentally whacking my head on the toilet when I'd tripped over my toilet slippers in the middle of the night, and bam Hiraishin." Naruto had replied matter-of-factly as he'd sorted through Kakashi's rather paltry stash of cup ramen.
"Poor Ero-Senin." Naruto had continued as he'd picked a cup of spicy shrimp ramen and got Kakashi's kettle down off the stove to fill it in the sink "I couldn't count the number of times he'd started literally tearing his hair out in frustration before he finally quit trying to teach me seals."
"I...Okay, I don't see." Kakashi had said as Naruto stood at the sink filling the kettle.
Naruto had shrugged it off, deciding not to even try explaining it to the man since he'd likely screw it up somewhere and find himself being poked at by medics or something, considering the fact that Kurama would feature heavily in the explanation.
"By the way Kakashi-sensei, can I borrow your video camera?" Naruto had asked, as he'd remembered something he'd sorta wanted to do in memory of Ero-Senin but hadn't had the opportunity to when he'd made Hokage. After all, like that guy at the museum had said, it wasn't perverted if it was art.
"Why?" Kakashi, who had still been taking his wait-and-see approach to the situation that had completely hit him out of left field while he was suffering from Chakra Exhaustion asked.
"Tomorrow night's amateur night at that one theater in the Red Light district." Naruto had replied as he'd set the kettle on Kakashi's stove to boil.
"You're not going to..." Kakashi had said, sounding stunned, apparently knowing which theater Naruto was referring to.
"Nah, I figured I'd let a couple of the Roof Rabbits show off for more people." Naruto had replied. "Film is art after all, and I never was all that good at painting or drawing."
After finishing his pilfered meal and resolving to come back for the camera since shocked sputtering was close enough to a "yes" for him, Naruto had hopped to a seal that was in the middle of the refrigerated section of a local grocery store which had survived the Kyuubi Attack, flashed and mooned several of the shoppers, and restarted the chase with the Uchiha police and a few ANBU who seemed to be sabotaging the police pursuit as they themselves pursued him for some strange reason. When that Shunshin Shisui boy that he'd remembered people making a fuss over when he was little had somehow gotten involved, he'd popped over to a seal that was on a nearby roof, yelled down "Hurry the fuck up slowpoke!" and popped over to another seal that was down the road before Shisui could catch up to him.
Eventually, he'd grown tired of leading half of Konoha on a merry chase through the village and had come up here for a bit of a breather before he headed back to get Kakashi's camera for the project for Ero-Senin whom he was certain would see it from his spot in the afterlife and appreciate the effort. Or, at the very least, the Very Much Alive Ero-Senin of this world would appreciate it.
The sound of water hitting stone caused Naruto to pull out of his memory of the fun he'd had and normally wouldn't be able to have since he was the Hokage and therefore couldn't cause any major scandals like what had happened the time Tsunade-baachan's breasts had accidentally popped out of her shirt back when she was Hokage. The Daimyo's wife had not been appreciative in the least. Looking up to find the source of the flowing water which was flowing in an area where water generally didn't flow, Naruto found that the source of the noise was standing on the top of the cliff into which the Hokage's faces had been carved.
"Hey Sasuke, is there any particular reason why you're taking a piss on the Nidaime's head?" Naruto asked the dark haired boy who seemed to be trying to spread it around so he whizzed on as much of the Nidaime's hair as possible, considering how much he was weaving.
" 'Z all his fucking faul'" Sasuke slurred down. " 'F he hadn' gone and snitched like a little bitch Madara and Hash, Hashira, Hashwha'ever woulda stayed friens, and nobodyda got hur'."
"Ooookay." Naruto said, deciding that he didn't wanna know.
" 'N then afer at bashtar wen' and snitched on them, he wen' and killed 'Zuna driving Madara insane." Sasuke continued. " 'N then when Hashwha'ever and Madara wen' an became friens again, he wen' and made it so Madara couldn' be Hokage when Hashwha'ever wanted him to, 'n then he went and tried ta poisn Hashwha'ever agains' all the 'Chiha while Madara was listenin'..."
"Mind if I join you?" Naruto asked when Sasuke had paused in his litany of Senju Tobirama's crimes against the Uchiha, which had in turn spurred the Uchiha's crimes against the world. It wasn't like he'd be peeing on his Hokage monument or anything.
"Yerr not gonna star onena those Senju 'Chiha fights are you?" Sasuke slurred suspiciously as Naruto made his way to the Uchiha's side.
"One, Obito was fucking insane thanks to Madara who was also fucking insane. Two, I'm an Uzumaki, not a Senju. And three, the Namikaze were actually allied with the Uchiha prior to the founding of Konoha." Naruto replied as he started just as Sasuke's stream had faltered because his bladder had finally emptied.
"No shit?" Sasuke asked.
"No shit." Naruto replied.
"Naruto, is there any particular reason you're peeing on my sensei's head?" a familiar voice that the Nandaime Hokage turned small boy couldn't quite place asked.
"Maybe because he's the stupid fuck who went and pissed off Madara to the point that he went along with that Zetsu fucker and got whole fucking Moon's Eye plan rolling in the fucking first place? I mean seriously, Madara was only just beginning to recover from his brother's death - which was at Tobirama's hands mind you - and believe in the Will of Fire and that there might actually be a peaceful future where the Senju and Uchiha could get along without one trying to dominate the other and Tobirama had to go and shit on everything." Naruto replied.
The person behind him made an unidentifiable half-strangled sound before Naruto suddenly found himself being picked up by someone who dearly wanted to drag him somewhere by his collar if the tightness of the grip on his sides was any indication. Fortunately, Naruto currently didn't have a collar, or anything else that was clothing related by which he could be dragged for that matter.
"We are going to be having a very serious chat." the person who was holding Naruto in such a way that he couldn't clearly see him said.
"You're going to have a chat, I'm going to get the fuck out of here!" Naruto said as he hopped to the seal in the Hokage's office where he knew he'd be safe. That Homura bastard wouldn't be able to get him there.
When Naruto arrived at the office, it was to find the Old Man's advisors standing around waiting for him.
"Oh shit." he said as two and a half pairs of eyes turned towards him.
Edited 7-8-17