*A/N- Don't expect any of these too make sense, or to be completely in character, I'm just having fun lmao.

X x x

"Why?" Zeref asked. He scooted a little farther under the table he was hiding under with Lucy, who was peering out at the mayhem around them, looking exasperated.

"What do you mean?" She asked, glancing over at him.

"Why is everyone fighting each other?"

"Well I'm pretty sure it's because Natsu and Gray started arguing, and that pissed off Cana, who was trying to drink in peace, so she attacked them, but they moved and her attack hit Elfman. Then he jumped up and flipped his table, which hit Gajeel, who threw Gajeel into a crowd of people, and I don't know what happened after that because I decided I'd rather take cover than participate today."

"You people are crazy," Zeref breathed.

"Says the guy whose girlfriend is currently dominating the brawl." Zeref flinched and peered out from under the table to where Mavis was making a few of the guild members believe they were being pursued by rabid wolves. He shivered.

"I remember teaching her that one."

"Bet you're starting to regret that," Lucy joked, grinning.

"Only if she decides to use it on me." Lucy laughed, rolling her eyes.

"So are you gonna go out there, I've heard a couple of people say they want a go at you. Mostly Natsu."

"No thanks," he said decisively. "I'm not really much of a fighter." Lucy raised her eyebrows. "Okay so that was a lie but I'd still rather not."

"He might smell you out, you know, dragon slayers have really powerful noses."

"WHERE ARE YOU ZEREF, I WANNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

"I haven't seen him this eager to fight someone since the last time he challenged Erza," Lucy told him.

"And what happened then?"

"He was only unconscious for like a day that time."

Just then, the table above them started to move, and they both jumped, looking up as someone lifted the table off the floor and smashed it over Gajeel's head.

"Erza!" Lucy cried.

"Oh there you both are," she commented, looking down as she punched Wakaba in the face. "Sorry, did I steal your hiding spot?"

"It's alright," Lucy said. "It probably wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway."

"You're right," Erza said, "things are getting pretty wild in here."

"I thought they already were," Zeref interjected, looking bewildered.

"Not really," Erza said, "we've gotten much worse before. Usually I don't participate in these childish exhibitions, but I was in a good mood today." As she spoke she clotheslined Jet, who had been trying to charge at Droy. Zeref raised an eyebrow, his expression clear, this is a good mood?

"Aha!" Natsu cried. "There you are, Zeref, come out and fight me!" Natsu began wading through the chaos towards Zeref, who no longer had any place to hide.

"Sucks to be you!" Lucy called as Natsu dragged Zeref away into the crowd.