AN: thank you so much for the reviews the favs, and follows, I appreciate every one. On to chapter 2 and Carol's perspective. Please, please let me know what you think:)
I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead
Chapter 2
Carol closed the door of the guard tower with a soft click. Well she had her answer, it just wasn't the one Daryl thought he had given her.
Making her way through the rain back to the prison she could feel his eyes intense on her back. She could almost hear his self recriminations and doubt from across the prison yard. Stopping at the door she wavered wanting to turn around and make her way back to the guard tower or at least look over her shoulder. No, no she forced herself to look straight ahead and go in the door. He needed to stew over this, he needed to soak it in.
In her cell she shed her coat and wet clothes, grabbing a towel and drying herself off before slipping on some old sweats. Not exactly the sexiest of night clothes but she knew she would have no visitors to her cell tonight. Although the fact that she could have a visitor if she wanted was a little empowering, she thought with grin as she got under the covers listening as the rain poured down outside her window.
The last few weeks had been interesting to say the least. When the Decatur group had arrived at the prison she'd been initially flattered at Jason's interest. He was a handsome man in his mid forties and had a slightly tough looking exterior that had housed a surprisingly funny entertaining man. She'd gotten caught up in his company. She hadn't realized how lonely she had become, Daryl and Michonne were always gone chasing down the governor, and Rick was off somewhere in farm land. It was nice for a change to have someone her own age to talk to, to spend time with, at first she hadn't thought more of it than that.
But then Jason had confessed two nights ago his feelings to her. Asking her to give him a chance to make her happy.
She been torn, she had long ago come to the realization she had feelings for Daryl, and then she'd come to the realization that it would probably never happen.
She wasn't blind, she saw clues to Daryl's feelings, she knew he cared about her in a romantic way, she just didn't think he himself had realized that fact. She didn't know if Daryl ever would. She didn't want to push him, and had placed those feelings on the back burner not wanting to ruin their friendship, but lately she had noticed a shift in him.
He stared at her more than usual and there were times she caught a hint of longing on his face.
She had recently past by his cell one night returning from the bathroom and had heard him moaning out her name in his sleep. He had started touching her too, and she wasn't even sure he realized he was doing it. A hand at the small of her back or a touch to her shoulder when he would pass by. For Daryl, a big deal. She had begun to suspect that Daryl might be a little more self aware of his feelings than she initially thought.
Then two nights ago Jason had confessed his feelings for her. She had been a little surprised even though he had flirted relentlessly with her since they'd met. She'd naively thought that was just his manner. When Jason told her of his interest she'd been tempted, she had no desire to spend the rest of her life alone and Jason was a good man. Any woman would be lucky to have him. She had sat speechless while he spoke, a war waging in her mind about what she should do, what she should say, and then he'd leaned over and kissed her and she knew. She just couldn't do it, he wasn't Daryl.
The whole story had come spilling out of her, her history with Daryl over the past two years and her feelings for him. She couldn't be with Jason she'd told him, it wasn't fair to him, she was in love with someone else, Daryl. Jason had been understanding and while disappointed had wanted to still be friends. She'd readily agreed. He'd given her some advice , she really needed to talk to Daryl, she needed to get to the bottom of his feelings, because allowing herself to stagnate was unfair to herself. She realized with a start Jason was right, it was better to know the truth.
The next day after Jason's confession, Daryl had returned. She had been in the library with Jason and missed it. That was disappointing, she loved meeting him at the gates, she could get a quick look at him, make sure he was okay. She didn't think Daryl realized how open his face was when he would search her out in the crowd that usually gathered. She would see briefly a surge of emotion run through his face when he looked at her, relief, want, possessiveness,caring, before he would clamp down again and the wall would go up. She had initially been hurt last night at dinner when he had been so cold, but then she had caught him staring at her and Jason talking and she realized with a start, Daryl was jealous.
He'd avoided her all day today, evasive as the wind every time she sought him out. He'd skipped supper tonight and Rick had mentioned that he was out on watch. Perfect, she'd thought.
She'd thought a little about how to approach him. Daryl was obviously trying to distance himself from her, trying to rebuild his walls, licking his wounds like a wounded animal. She wasn't one hundred percent sure how to approach him. She decided to off balance him a little by asking him his thoughts about her and Jason first before moving on to her own thoughts on the subject. She hadn't lied to him, she told him Jason wanted more. She never told him what she wanted. She realized her approach had been a mistake, the minute the question had been out of her mouth. She watched as Daryl with eyes on the ground had a gamut of emotions run through his face. He looked angry and hurt and sad all at once. When he'd croaked out his response she'd known. His eyes were so scared, so full of longing. She'd realized in that moment Daryl loved her, and while he was almost ready he just wasn't quite able to overcome that last barrier of his self doubt .
She'd retreated, he needed time to think, to decide to fight for what he wanted. She had no desire to hurt him, but for so long know she'd been the one doing all the giving in their friendship and if he wanted more, he was going to have to put some effort into it too. Yes she'd made her decision and it was definetly Daryl.
Her poor Pookie she thought with a grin as the rain pounded on her window, just because she picked him, didn't mean she wasn't going to make him work for it.