Another note before you begin, I've put a few numbers in between a couple of ** as foot notes at the bottom for understanding of some jokes and curiosities you may have that I didn't make clear in the actual story telling.
Chapter 2: Amateur Basketball
The Tuesday morning sun rose. The beautiful fall colored leaves of different shades of red and yellow gently fluttered down their respectful trees. Birds chirping happily. Ah, it seems even animals are great full for this time of tha- "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ace barreled down the street in his jeep, the heavy metal music blaring of famous band Not Real. Luffy sat in the passenger seat, staring deeply at the road, preparing for 'The Game', not paying attention to Ace chugging down his THIRD beer can and crushing it then throwing it to the back.
Ace: "So, did you mean all that stuff you said to Robin yesterday?"
Luffy looked at him, "Yeah... I mean, yeah I still think Lucci is a big prick."
*SWERVE!!!*
"But we should stick by our sis, we love her."
*JERK!!!!* *SCEECH!!!!*
"Even if her boyfriend is a maniacal, cocky, shitty, asshole, douche bag, bitch-face like Rob MUTHAFUKIN LUCCI!!!!"
Ace was a little surprised, "But how are we gonna 'stand by her' if we hate him so much?"
Luffy just smiled, "It's like a "keep your friends close enemies closer thing". Of course will support her... when she's around."
Ace ginned wide, "Oh I get it!,"
*EEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!*
"We enjoy our 'time together' at this basketball game, so we feel better on Thursday when we have to see him!"
Luffy: "Yeah, and maybe he'll have to show up with one less tooth, or maybe not at all."
Ace: "Oho-Yeah! I'm hoping he's already there so I can park my jeep up his ass!!!"
*RRREEEEAARRR!!!!!*
~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~
Ace slammed on the breaks as they came to a parking spot in the park where they would have thier game. As they got out of the jeep, a man smoking a cigar walked up to them.
"Are either of you Ace or Luffy, or both?"
Ace looked at the man suspiciously, "Well... I don't THINK I've done anything to get a subpoena, So.... Yeeeeeees?"
The man then pulled out a badge and flashed it a Luffy and Ace, "I'm Officer Smoker of RPD, I'm here to talk about the arrangements of one Bentham Bonclay regarding his release from state prison and his wishes to come to your Thanksgiving festivities this Thursday. *sigh* As his parole officer I must attend as well.... So... what time?"
This was sort of off putting to Ace and Luffy, they really didn't see that coming.
Ace: "Uh.... 7?"
Smoker nodded and put away his badge, "Very well, see you then... I guess."
"HEY! LUFFY! ACE! WHAT ARE YOU BOZOS DOING!?!"
Ace and Luffy looked forward and saw their boss in his 'sports ware' holding a basketball.
Ace shouted back, "We're coming! Hold up dude!"
The boss noticed Smoker walking away from him, "Who's that!?!?"
Smoker stopped and looked back. Ace replied, "Ah he's just Bon-chan's parole officer, you know he gets out tomorrow."
Boss: "Really? No shit! I remembered when that SWAT team busted into the factory and arrested him for alleged molestation. Man I was so paranoid that day, cuz I was high and I thought I would be arrested too."
Smoker gave the boss a very scary glare.
Boss: "Uhhhhhh, did I say I was high? Cause I would NEVER partake in such an activity as to light and inhale an illegal and hallucinogenic substance as marijuana."
Ace: "Wow boss.... you sure can sell it can't you?"
"SHANKS!!!! HURRY UP AND GATHER YOUR WEAKLING BASKETBALL CREW SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASSES FLASHILY!!!"
The Factory Boss Shanks *1* looked back at his annoying best friend and drinking buddy, not to mention Senior Manager at the factory, Buggy.
Shanks: "Chill out Buggy my man! We got all day! Yo! Ace, Luffy, hurry up!"
As Luffy ran up the hill to the basketball court, Shanks counted everyone who was now there, "Ace!"
Ace looked up, "What?"
Shanks: "It looks like we might be short on players! Ask the cop if he wants to play!"
Ace thought this was odd, but then again, the guy asking this was Shanks and O-D-D was how you spelled his name most of the time. Ace looked at the cop, "So... Uh, wanna play some B-ball?"
Smoker looked at him as if he was stupid, then shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah why not, I'm technically off duty till I pick up Bonclay tomorrow at 11."
Ace and Smoker headed up the hill.
"ALL RIGHT SHANKS!!! PREPARE TO BE FLASHILY DEFEATED!!!" Buggy was rubbing his hands evilly. Shanks just brushed it off, "Whatever you can have first pick."
All of Shanks 'favorite' employees were there. Or at least all the ones he knew personally. Franky, the line worker who had been at the company since first opening. Jimbei, who had know Shanks almost as long as Buggy and go a job at the factory when he was fired at his other job. Zoro of course, the now step son of Shanks. Marring Shanks' beautiful daughter was the smartest move the 22 year old had ever made since he knocked her up when they were 19. Nami had also had 'relations' with Luffy and Ace... but I guess the pill didn't work that time. (But hey... we don't judge.... DON'T JUDGE.)
Then there was Buggy, Luffy, Ace.... and Lucci.
Ace squinted his eyes at him, "Lucci.... we meet ageing you bastard.... You make me sick...." All this was under his breath.... until he accidently let the last part slip out loudly, "When you fuck our sister YOU DARE TO MAKE NOISES FOR US TO HEAR!!?!? DIE!!!!"
Everyone stared awkwardly at him. He just played it off, badly, but he ignored it enough to where they stopped staring. Lucci smirked evilly.
Shanks looked at Zoro, "So when is your Uncle getting here?"
Zoro: "He said he was coming."
Shanks: "Well he better get here fast, I'm not waiting forever for him. Some Co-Manager he is-"
Buggy: "I pick him!"
Shanks: "What!?"
Buggy: "When he gets here, I pick him!"
Shanks: "Ga... You can't do that!"
Buggy: "Yes I can! You let me pick first! I pick him!"
Shanks: "But he's not even here yet!!!"
Buggy: "Don't care."
Shanks: "You can't pick someone who's not here yet!!!"
Buggy: "Yes I can. Cuz that's how I flashily roll."
Shanks: "A....A... Douche.... Fine, I pick Luffy."
Buggy: "Big friggin surprise. I pick.... ZORO!"
Everyone looked at him in terrified shock.
Shanks and Zoro: "WHAT!?!??!"
Buggy: "Didn't see that coming did ya punk?? Heeheeheehee."
Shanks: "Ach! Fine! ACE!"
Buggy: "Lucci."
Shanks: "Bout time you picked someone I DIDN'T want. Jimbei."
Buggy: "Ugh... I guess Fra- Who are you?" he looked at Smoker.
Smoker: "Officer Smoker. I'm Bonclay's parole officer. Your dope head boss asked me to play and I had nothing better to do."
Shanks: "Dope head? That's not nice."
Buggy: "A cop eh?" Buggy devilishly grinned to himself. ("Excellent! I can't lose with the law on my side! It's stereotypically proven by Hollywood. Well, that and they re all either corrupt.") "I pick him!"
Shanks: "Damn it Ace! You didn't tell me he said yes!!!"
Ace: "I thought the simple fact that he was up here cleared that up... 'Sir'."
Shanks: "God! Whatever! Franky!"
Franky: "Last one picked? Even over the cop!? NOT Supa."
Shanks: "Alright! 3 at a time on Full-court! 15 minutes! 4 quarters! Somebody keep time!"
"I'm here." Zoro's uncle walked up now, wearing nothing but sweat pants and a whole lot of women following him.
Shanks: "Mihawk! (sarcastic) Great. You're on Bug's team."
Zoro: "Oh look, Antonio Banderas decided to show up." *2*
Mihawk: "Watch it whelp. I was visiting your wife, who couldn't get a hold of you. So she asked me to get the milk she asked you to get YESTERDAY."
Zoro: "Well look at that. She's got Puss'n'boots whipped. So much for the... "Lone Tiger" huh?" *3*
Mihawk: "I will crush you in this game."
Zoro: "Hey, I'm bummed about it too, but we're on the same team."
Mihawk was shocked, "...... Seriously?"
Zoro: "Depressingly yes."
Mihawk: "Damn it. Know we have to actually.... cooperate."
They both shuttered.
Buggy: "HEY! WILL YOU TWO QUIT YOUR WOMENLY BICKERING AND GET OUT HERE WITH ME SO WE CAN HAVE A FLASHY VICTORY!"
They both rolled their eyes.
Mihawk: "I just got here. I don't feel like playing yet."
Buggy: "UGH! FINE! YOU! COP! GET OUT HERE!"
Smoker rolled his eyes at Buggy's annoyance, but did what his 'Captain' said.
Shanks faced off with Smoker in the center. Shanks had the ball.
Shanks: "So... *dribble* *dribble* I saw you smoking a cigar earlyer. You sure you can 'hang' with us in such a condition?"
Smoker: "Aren t you the one who said he smokes weed and is a drinker?"
Shanks: "............maybe...."
*Swipe!*
Smoker caught him off guard and took the ball from him. Shanks chased after him, but was to late. Smoker jumped into the air and hit a slam dunk, in the first 5 seconds of the game. And the ball landed.... on Shanks' face.
*WHAM!*
Shanks: "Motherf-"
*THUD*
Shanks fell to the ground.
Smoker just looked at him, "Now WHO can't hang with WHO?" and walked off.
Buggy: "Hell yeah! SUCK IT SHANKS!"
Shanks: ".... That cop is a dick. Ace! Why did you invite him!?!"
Ace: "WHAT!?!? YOU TOLD ME TO!!"
Shanks: "...... You're fired."
Ace: "....... Really?"
Shanks: "Hell no! But we lose... and Friday was nothing!"
Ace gulped.
~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~
Quarter 2
Team Shanks: 14 Team Buggy: 23
Shanks: "What the hell!?!? WHY THE HELL ARE WE LOOSINGGGGGGGGG!?!?!"
Ace: "In all fairness, you tried to out school the cop so many times, he just kept stealing from you and showing you up."
Shanks: "Shut up Ace..... You're fired again."
Ace: "........*sniff*......Really?"
Shanks: "HELL NO! QUIT ASKING AND LET ME THROW MY DAMN TANTRUM AND TAKE EVERYTING OUT ON YOU!"
Franky: "Don't worry boys.... I got this.... Supa."
Franky went in the center to face Smoker. As Smoker dribbled Franky just stared at him, then...
Franky: "Supa."
It was so odd, it cause Smoker to flinch for a moment, and Franky secured the ball.
Franky ran as fast as he could, "HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!" Then he jumped, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" His shot was perfect, as was his form........... but,
He seemed to have had come short of his dunk, as his face hit the rim.
*WHAM!!!*
Shanks: "Grrrrrrrrrr... DAMN IT!!! FRANKY! YOU'RE FIRED!"
Franky: "Uggg.... *pain* Really?"
Shanks: "NOO!!! WHY DO YOU ALL ASK THAT!?!? I HAVEN'T FIRED ANYONE IN 20 YEARS! I HAVEN'T EVEN FIRED BON-CHAN AND HE'S IN PRISON FOR MOLESATION!"
Luffy: "ALLEGED molestation."
Shanks: "Yeah, whatever."
-
Mihawk dribbled in front of both Franky and Ace.
Ace: "I got this."
Mihawk went past them both and headed for the basket. Ace followed.
Ace: "I got this."
Mihawk took the shot, Ace never took his eyes of the ball.
Ace: "I got this!-"
*WHAM!*
Ace hit the post, he didn't look where he was going.
Ace: "I~don~ga~tis"
Shanks: "DAMN IT ACE! YOU'RE FIRED!"
All Ace could do, was flip him off, still lying on the concrete.
~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~
Quarter 3
Team Shanks: 28 Team Buggy: 42
Shanks: "Alright, we need THREE 3 pointers! Got it!? NO ONE SCREW THIS UP!!!"
Ace: "I got yer first 3 pointer right here!"
Ace ran for it and jumped high. Tongue out. Arms and legs back. Ready to-
*WHAM!!!*
Ace too misjudged his distance and his face hit the rim.
Shanks: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ACE!-"
Ace: "Yeah yeah I'm fired. Whatever."
Luffy came over to check up on Ace, "You ok?"
Ace: "That's the 2nd time this VERY SAME pole hit members of OUR team.... I think it's working for Lucci."
Luffy: "... I think it's cause you're an idiot."
-
Jimbei dribbled the ball, but had to stop to catch his breath. (He is kinda old)
"Ha...Ha...Ha...."
Ace jogged next to him, "Come on old man! You out of it there Fillet-o-Fish? Haha!"
Ace continued ahead. Jimbei was now a little peeved. He threw the ball at Ace, it bounced of his head and miraculously landed in the opponents basket.
Jimbei smirked, "Heh, There's you 3 pointer."
Shanks: "FUCK YEAH!!! ACE! Jimbei just saved your job."
Ace was speechless, Jimbei ran up to him, "Guess you are useful eh? Ace-sama?" he patted Ace's head and continued off.
~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~ ~X~Happy Thanksgiving, Muthafucka~X~
Quarter 4
Team Shanks: 40 Team Buggy: 48
Ace and Luffy sat on the bench as they watched Lucci leap and bound around the 'old-timers' like a damn ballerina. He even flipped off Shanks, what a dick!
Ace: "Jesus, he's leaping and bounding around the geezers like a damn ballerina! He even flipped off Shanks! What a dick!!!" (see)
Buggy: "You know why you punk? Cuz Lucci has 'NATURAL' talent. Unlike you."
Ace gripped himself from throwing himself at Buggy. "Man... Fuck his, (mocking tone) "Natural" "Talent"...." Ace went into the cooler and pulled out 3 beers, tore of the tops and chugged down all 3 at once.
Luffy: "You seriously need to quit stress drinking."
Ace: "*gulp**gulp*...Fuck...*gulp**gulp*...You..."
-
1 minute left in the game.
Team Shanks: 52 Team Buggy: 52
Team Shanks was in a huddle.
Shanks: "Alright, We've worked terribly hard to get a tie and catch up with them.... But we all know that's bullshit if we want to WIN-SO! How do we cheat?"
Luffy: "Hey boss, have you told Zoro what Lucci called Nami Friday?"
Shanks came to the sudden realization, "....... No! I have not! A-HA!.. Alright! I know what to do."
Luffy and Ace sat down on the bench. The final play and it was Shanks, Jimbei, Franky vs Buggy, Zoro, and Lucci. Perfect.
As Jimbei and Lucci faced off in the center, Shanks took Zoro.
Shanks: "So... Kiddo, you know what I forgot to tell you?"
Zoro raised a brow, "What?"
Lucci got the ball and dribbled all the way to the basket, and as he started for his winning shot....
*WHAM!*
Zoro kneed him.... in the balls.
"WHAAT YOU CALL MY WIFE DICK FACE!?!?!?!?"
Shanks: "FUCK YES!"
Buggy: "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shanks grabbed the ball, trick stepped Buggy and made the winning shot for his team.
*BUZZ!* End Game.
Buggy: "Damn it!!!!"
Lucci rolled in pain, but Zoro wasn't done, and started to repeatedly kick him, "FUCK YOU LUCCI! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!"
So happy, Shanks ran up and drop elbowed him, "Revenge rocks motherfucker!!!"
Ace sat on the bench almost drooling, "Duuude! That beat down looks like SOOO much fun!"
Luffy: "Don't go."
Ace looked at him shocked and disappointed, "What? Why?"
Luffy: "Look, they're beating the crap out of him. If Robin asks questions, we can without a doubt say it was just them. And it is. This way, we get the satisfaction of Lucci getting his ass kicked we get away clean."
Ace: "Whoa.... You're like an evil genius little bro, I didn't know you had it in you."
Luffy: "Losing a woman can change a man."
Ace: "......What do you think you are?... Older than me?"
Lucci: "Ow! OUCH! HEY! WAIT! STOP! THAT HURTS! OW! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! OW!"
Shanks: "FUCK YEAH! FATER-STEP-SON BEAT DOWN! OLD FASHION STYLE BITCHES! WOOOO!!!"
Buggy: "That game was UNFLASHY BULLSHIT!!!"
Mihawk: "I'm gone, see all you bitches at the dinner."
Smoker: "Well, that killed an hour."
Lucci: "OW! STOP! PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF-AHHHHH!!!!"
Zoro: "Ooo! Gotem in the nuts AGAIN!"
To Be Continued....
Lucci: "Man this fucking hurts! OW!"
Jimbei: "FISH-MAN CANNON BALL!!!"
Lucci: "Oh god...."
*BBBAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!*
Author Notes: *1* in case you think about it, Shanks has both arms
*2* *3*- in both of these, Zoro is making fun of the way Mihawk looks