Day 2

Dean woke up to the sound of the wind lashing against the tent.

"That's gonna get old fast," he muttered, rolling over to the left. Dean yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Ah! Cas, what the hell!?" he yelled. Cas was sitting very close to Dean's face, staring at him. When Dean yelled he immediately looked down sadly.

"Sorry," he said softly. Dean's expression softened and he sat up.

"It's okay. I forget that you don't have anything to do when I'm asleep. Doesn't that get boring?" he asked.

"Sometimes I suppose. But, it's interesting to watch you… You–humans, are fascinating," Cas said, quickly correcting himself. Dean looked at him silently for a moment.

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say thanks or get the hell away," Dean said with a laugh.

"Well, I'll work on it. I'm trying really hard to give you personal space."

Dean nodded, feeling bad now. Cas didn't understand that humans, especially Dean, didn't really like to have people close to him. But, Dean knew deep down that for some reason, he didn't mind Cas being too close to him, and that bothered Dean. He couldn't let too many people get close to him, otherwise it would hurt when he lost them eventually.

"Cas?" Dean asked suddenly, thinking of something.

"Yes Dean?" he asked.

"How is Sam going to let us know that my name is cleared?" he asked, a bit cockily.

Cas sat for a second, and his expression changed immediately to anger. He looked incredibly conflicted, and couldn't seem to sit still.

"Well, I guess I do make mistakes. I hadn't thought of it," Cas said, struggling to deal with his self-loathing at the moment. Dean could see that he was obviously in pain, and for once, just this once, he reached forward and put his hand on the angel's shoulder.

"Cas, please stop blaming yourself for everything. No one, not even an angel, is perfect, although you're pretty close," Dean said. Cas looked at his human for a moment.

"But, I'm a fallen angel. How on earth can I be what I used to?" he asked, distraught. Dean sighed.

"Stop it, okay? I'm tired of the fallen angel crap! What is it with you angels and your pride? If any sons of bitches try to tell you otherwise, just blind them with your true form. Your fine Cas, more than fine actually. You–ah, never mind okay?" Dean said, patting Cas on the shoulder. He was feeling increasingly uncomfortable and raising his voice. He wasn't sure what he had been about to say, but whatever it was came from a feeling that he had felt in the deepest part of his soul… Dean ignored it, and tried to regain his calm.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to yell," he said, seeing that Cas was clearly still bothered.

"It's alright Dean. I knew that when I devoted myself to protecting you, there would be a cost," Cas said, feeling defeated in life. Dean looked at him, now feeling deeply saddened.

"Cas, you don't know just how sorry I am for putting you through everything. I know that it killed you when I couldn't forgive you, and I'm so sorry for all of the other things that I've done, especially making you a fallen angel. You've saved me from death so many times, and I haven't done anything in return. It kills me to be in debt, you know that, and with you I'm in the deepest debt that I've ever been in." For a moment Cas looked finally dumbstruck by what Dean had said. Then he reverted to his usual calm.

"Thank you Dean, that means a lot coming from you." Dean nodded. Cas looked uncomfortable for a moment, and didn't say anything. Then he looked back into Dean's eyes.

"How close is alright for me to sit?" he asked. Dean looked into Cas's tired, pleading eyes. Why he had a soft place for this angel, he didn't know. Maybe Cas was the brother that he had never had, or the one friend that would always come back for him. Or maybe… Dean didn't know. All he knew was that Cas was one of the most important people in his life, and he struggled to understand it every day.

"Here," Dean said, pulling out his left hand and for once patting the ground directly beside him. Cas scooted over next to Dean.

"Thank you," said Cas. After that they said nothing for a long time, and Dean huddled up in his sleeping bag while Cas sat in silence, staring off into space. After a while he looked at Dean.

"Why did you visit me so often when I was in the hospital?" he asked curiously. Dean looked at Cas and bit his lip. Honestly, he didn't understand everything that was going on inside of him.

"Because I–I really," he stopped dead. He couldn't answer the question. Time stopped in Dean Winchester's head. And because he didn't have a proper excuse for his daily visits to Cas, he lied.

"I had to make sure that you'd be in good shape to help finish the apocalypse, didn't I?" he played off with a fake smile. Cas cocked his head to the side.

"Is that a joke?" he said, hoping to get it right this time. He was working on understanding human emotions more.

"Yeah Cas, yeah it's a joke," said Dean, feeling horrible inside. Cas nodded.

"Glad I figured that one out," he said with his little innocent smile. Dean wanted to kick himself in the head so hard right now, or throw himself off of a cliff. And the worst part was, that he didn't even know why.