Chapter 1: His Eyes

In Arashi's POV!

Ciel had needles in his arm and a breathing mask as he laid in the bed of the clinic. He breathed as if his lungs were made of glass. His eye lids fluttered as I tried to bring him back.

"Ciel, stay with me… stay with us, come on, Ciel."

"Arashi-kun… Ciel is tired…"

"Please, lets talk some more."

"Ciel is too tired to talk… after a nap…"

"No, Ciel, please!" I had tears in my eyes but I didn't want to start crying. I knew if I started to cry, Ciel wouldn't get any better. I watched as Ciel closed his eyes and was forced out of the room by the doctor and a few nurses.

The room I was forced to wait in was cold and I felt so empty. There were people there to buy medicine and some for a check up. My eyes were red now. I didn't get any sleep last night. Ciel had our baby late last night and was immediately taken to the clinic and was put under intensive care.

'Our baby…' I just remembered our son. Our sweet little baby that was born only a few hours ago… he was taken under the care by some nurses. He was born premature by about three weeks and a few days. He looks perfect though… I looked up and noticed the doctor calling me over. I felt like I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"I'm sorry. Your husband is…" Don't say dead. "In a coma.". That's when I felt as if my world was torn apart. I was taken back to Ciel's room. He lay there on the bed, sleeping peacefully. I was left alone as I stood beside my husband's bed. The machine gave small beeps, probably being the one to measure his heart. His face didn't move. He had an oxygen mask and even a tube in his throat in case he stopped breathing. The rising and falling of his chest were what really made me know he was alive. His body was so frail… inside, I knew something bad would happen. But… I never suspected something like this would happen.

"Oh Ciel… I have caused you so much pain…" I broke down to my knees, unable to look at my husband any longer. My husband. I loved him so much. I loved him more than the world. Loved… why am I using it in past tense like this? He is alive! I love him… even if his chance at surviving this is slim, I will still love him. I stayed on the ground crying until I heard the small cries from the cradle in the corner of the room.

You. I walked over to the cradle that held our child in it. Mitsuaki was whining and screaming. 'Its all your fault. If you weren't born… if we never had a child, Ciel wouldn't be like this! If you never existed then none of this would happen! Disappear… Disappear!'. I cant believe I was thinking these thoughts… to my son! My pure little boy… but it was true. His birth was the cause of Ciel's pain. I was just about to put my hands on his throat, going to strangle him… when he opened his eyes. Mitsuaki's big blue eyes looked just like Ciel's. They were beautiful… like his mother's. I couldn't bring myself to kill my son. I gathered the crying child in my arms and sat in the chair mothers would hold their children in. Poor little Mitsuaki…

"Hi Mitsuaki… I'm your daddy. I know I am young… but you are my son. You… have your mother's beautiful eyes…" I chuckled as I spoke to my son. But it seemed my voice calmed him. He looked up at me and smiled. "You have such an adorable smile… you know, your mother had a beautiful smile too. And he is so pretty. Your mommy is very young too. You have young parents…" my heart sank when I realized this. I'm young. I make mistakes. But now I have a child. I have a life to take care of. I have a life that depends on me not making mistakes! "But don't worry. I promise to keep you happy… we have a shop. You can have all the candy and sweets you like." I smile as I hold my adorable son. "Mitsuaki…"

XxXxXxXxX

It has been four months now since Ciel fell asleep. Every day I go to see him. It doesn't matter what kind of weather it is, I go to make sure he is alright. But I have to admit… it is so hard when my husband is asleep. I have to make the sweets, decorate them, and put them in the case. Then I sell them. When the rush of customers is low, I clean the outside of the shop, the windows, the tables and chairs, the back room, bake more sweets, do inventory, and all of this comes to a stop when Mitsuaki needs me. I had not realized but Ciel does way too much cleaning and baking for one person to handle. An elderly lady comes in many times because she "has a craving for our sweets" and even though the taste of these have changed, she still comes in to see our sweet four month old. The sweets at the shop don't taste as good when Ciel isn't here… or maybe its because he makes it differently? No… its definitely because he isn't here with us.

"Good afternoon Mr. Ikeda." The elderly lady says as I am stocking the case.

"Oh welcome again, Ms. Fuyukawa. Here for another cake?"

"Yes. And to see that adorable little angel you have." She smiled as she saw Mitsuaki in a cradle behind the counter.

"He looks like his mother…" I say as she selects one of the cakes.

"I can see when he is awake that he has his mother's big curious eyes. But he looks a lot like you, Mr. Ikeda."

"This one is on the house." I say as I put it on a plate for her. She always eats it here.

"On the house? How will you make money if you give your delectable sweets away…?"

"Don't worry about it. Want a drink? Its free too." I manage a smile. I can see why Ciel always gave this elderly lady free sweets. I never minded, but I see why he just gives it to her without a second thought.

"Thank you so much." She said, smiling. I served her a cup of our finest tea. "Oh how is your husband?" She asked as she looked at Mitsuaki.

"Arashi-kun, I have brought out the candies." A familiar voice says from behind. I turn around…and there he is. The beautiful figure in a red Chinese dress, black stockings, his long hair pulled back into a bun with his hime-cut part down and had chopsticks in his hair.

"Ciel…"

"Where can I put these?"

"Honey, when did you come back…?"

"This tray is heavy. Its hot too. I burned my hand." I watched as Ciel placed the tray on the top of the case and showed me his burned hand. "It hurts… Arashi…"

"Ciel… you clumsy little cutie." I wrapped his arms around him

"Ciel is sleeping." Ciel said into my ear.

"Mr. Ikeda?" Ms. Fuyukawa's voice broke my train of thought. "You are talking to the air."

Again? Damn… this isn't the first time this happened to me. I imagine seeing my sweet husband around the house or shop. I miss him that much…

"I'm sorry. No need to be alarmed. This is normal." I try to smile as I take a deep breath. I start thinking of him… how he would smile all the time and how he always watched my hands. I swear, he had a hand fetish. He is also so very sensitive when I touch him with the hands that he loves so much… I see Ciel again. Or rather, this vision of Ciel. He is standing beside me, holding a small cake shaped like a star. It has blue fondant and has so many small decorations. It has words on it… "Arashi-kun"… I put my hands up to accept this gift… but when he places it in my hands, it falls right through when Mitsuaki begins to whine.

"Oh no, you poor baby…" I watch as the elderly lady take our son. That's when I realized… I was making a rather irritated face at my son! "He wet his diaper."

"Let me change him." I quickly took Mitsuaki. I'm sorry, Mitsuaki… I love you so much. Please don't think I don't. I just… really need Ciel right now… I was changing my son and looked down at him. His big blue eyes staring back at me. He really did look like Ciel… His eyes were just like his mother's. And that's what made it hurt a bit.

"Will you be closing early again…?"

"Yes… I will be leaving early. Come on, Mitsuaki." I pick my son up and start bouncing him a little. "Lets go see mommy." I chuckle and kiss my son's sweet cheek. I look out the window and notice a man staring in but quickly leaving.

"What a strange man…" the elderly woman says to me

"Yes… I know why he is here…" I say simply as I hold onto my son closely.

XxXxXxXxX

The room Ciel was in was so quiet and cold. I sat in a chair beside him as I hold our son. Mitsuaki was wearing the outfit Ciel chose. I remembered going shopping for baby outfits and seeing Ciel's face light up when he saw this. It was a sailor suit, sort of. It was white and blue with a little yellow tie, blue shorts, and an adorable little hat that had a ribbon on it. Ciel loved this outfit.

"Mitsuaki, here's mommy." I say, letting our son see Ciel asleep. Ciel is asleep peacefully. I hold his soft hand… he is cold. 'Poor Ciel… poor Ciel…' I keep thinking this as Mitsuaki also holds his hand. "His hand is very soft, isn't it, Mitsu-chan? Puni puni."

"Puri puri!" Mitsuaki loved making noises.

"Can you say mommy? Mama. This is your mama. I am your papa."

"Ma…maa…"

"Come on, you can say it." I smile down at my son who is trying so hard to speak. I listen to the beating heart rate on the monitor as well as my son babbling on my lap as I take Ciel's thin hand. He is pale and all of the body mass he seemed to have withered away from not eating or moving.

"Baa…" I heard Mitsuaki say. He was probably going to say baa-baa when he wants a bottle. I hold Ciel's hand and speak to him, like I always do.

"Ciel… its me. Its Arashi. Are you dreaming?" I ask him. No response. "What is it you are dreaming of?" I ask. No response. "I need you, Ciel… I really need you here with me…" I put my head on his chest and close my eyes, crying again. "Please Ciel…" I grip his hand tightly. "Please come back, Ciel. Please…"

"Maa… Mama…"

To Be Continued…

~Author's Notes~

Hmm.. I don't know when babies actually learn to start talking. But Arashi is very intelligent so his child starts talking at a very young age then? This chapter was meant to be a question chapter and the next will be a question/answer chapter I suppose. We'll see how it plays out I guess. I never really plan. *eats pocky while watching various anime* I'll get to it when I'm good and ready.