A/N I know you all hate cliffhangers, so after The Worst Day Ever, I got to work on rectifying my mistake! :D You'll all be pleased to know there is no cliffhanger at the end of this chapter! It is sorta full of angst and drama, though. It's kinda rushed, but I really hope I got it OK. Anyway, read and review! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: If you haven't heard of 'em, they're purely figments of my imagination. If you have heard of them, then they're still figments of my imagination, just not purely.
mech·a·nize
1. To make automatic or unspontaneous actions; render routine or monotonous.
2. To produce by or as if by machines.
***
When a disaster happens, be it big or small, the first thing you do is call the person you love. They may be on the other side of the country, may not even know there's been a disaster. But you call them anyway.
And every mother dreads that phone call. The one that starts "Mom, we're OK, but...", or even worse, the one that starts "Mama, I'm in trouble..."
As people, people with hearts, with minds, with feeling, we strive to succeed. To make the most of everything we attempt, and if at first we don't succeed, we feel compelled to just give up. Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple—yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.
But as Scotty was realising, happiness came with a price. And that fear of having something you cherish taken away could never quite be put into words.
He saw the smoke from three blocks away. Turning into Lilly's street, he saw the house, surrounded by fire trucks and police cars. Jesus Christ…
Scotty flew from his car as if the Devil himself was on his tail. He almost collapsed with relief at the sight of a figure with white blonde hair sitting on the kerb. Lilly scowled up at the EMT, swatting his hand away from the cut on her head. The medical officer rolled his eyes, futilely offering up the oxygen mask. Seeing her partner running towards her, Lilly felt her heart jump and her eyes widen. She hugged the blanket tighter around her.
"What are you doing here?"
He crouched down beside her, his eyes searching for any sign of major injury.
"Are you hurt? Did he hurt you? What happened? Are you OK? Did he…?"
His questions were cut off by his partner's growl of protest as the EMT took advantage of Lilly's momentary distraction. He dabbed at the wound on her forehead. Scotty sat down on the cold ground, anxiously waiting for his partner to speak.
"Why are you here, Scotty?" she murmured, giving up in her struggle with the paramedic.
"Why wouldn't I be here, Lil?" he replied softly. She shivered against the cold, and he tenderly tucked the blanket into the crooks of her arms.
"Is Boss here?"
"No. He's making sure the best forensics team is working this. I said we'd go back to the po..."
Lilly straightened suddenly, her eyes wide.
"My cats! They're still inside! Oh, God, please don't…"
Her partner placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"Relax, Lil. I'll see if I can get 'em."
"Their names are…" she called after him.
"Tripod and Olivia. I know."
Jogging back to the wreckage, Scotty caught up with a fire fighter. Recognising the man from his days at West, the detective sped up.
"Hey, Matt!"
The guy turned, wiping a hand over his sooty brow.
"Heard you might show up. You got one heck of a partner, man," he said. Scotty smiled slightly.
"Yeah?"
"When we got here, Rush is sitting outside, the house is in flames. You spoken to the EMT's yet?"
The detective frowned.
"No. Why?" he asked curiously. Matt looked over his shoulder, and Scotty followed his gaze to meet Lilly's glare.
"I don't know if I should be telling you this," the fire fighter said uncertainly.
"Please, Matty," Scotty pleaded, "otherwise I ain't gonna know."
Matt sighed.
"OK. She fought with her attacker. He won. Whacked her over the head with a side lamp."
Scotty took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.
"Keep goin'."
"EMT's say that the mix of exhaustion and pain made her pass out," the overall clad man said slowly, watching guilt play across his friend's face. A paramedic appeared beside them.
"Detective Valens?"
"That's me."
"Detective Rush has suffered a serious blow to the back of the head."
"So why's she still sittin' on the concrete? Shouldn't she be headin' to the hospital or somethin'?" Scotty said angrily.
"That's exactly the problem," the EMT said in frustration, "she won't go."
Scotty sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Is there any reason that she needs to go to hospital?" he asked dejectedly.
"She needs twenty-four hour observation, painkillers, and..."
"If I take her home and give her some Aspirin, will she still have to go?"
The paramedic puffed up his chest, and the male detective fought the urge to pummel the smirk off his face.
"Detective, you are not qualified to..."
"Answer my question," Scotty growled.
"As long as you promise to bring her in as soon as you think something's wrong, then no, there is no reason why Detective Rush could not go home with you."
Matt grinned in relief, seeing his friend deflate beside him. Scotty nodded.
"Thanks," he mumbled. The EMT smiled sadly.
"I'd just take her home, Valens. Take her home."
He nodded again, watching as the paramedic went back to Lilly, who's glare had lessened slightly.
"I will."
"Scotty, seriously, man," Matt said, "Rush has always been nice to us, so look after her, OK?"
"Ain't plannin' on doin' anythin' else. Hey, you seen a couple of cats get outta there?" Scotty asked uncertainly. Matt shook his head.
"You better hope they found their own way out, man, 'cause there ain't nothin' left in there."
Scotty swore loudly, running a hand through his hair. The fireman gave him a sympathetic smile, and walked away.
"Tripod! Olivia!" the detective called desperately. Stupid cats. They ain't gonna come to me. They don't even know who I am. Stupid cats… Just when he was about to turn away, a plaintive mew reached his ears. Feeling his heart jump, Scotty turned back, breathing a sigh of relief. Tripod limped out of the darkness, closely followed by the ginger tabby. Scooping both cats into his arms, the male detective sighed in relief. Olivia mewed dejectedly, sitting comfortably in his arms.
"You're jus' lucky that Lil wouldn't leave without you."
Apart from being seriously disgruntled, the cats had suffered no other damage from the fire.
"Detective Rush?"
Lilly stood up, mustering up all her strength and providing a weak smile.
"Hey, Mara. What's up?" she asked wearily. The young woman smiled nervously.
"I was wonderin' if ya'll wanted me to look after the cats for you? You know, why ya'll are findin' whoever did this?"
Scotty heard his partner begin to protest, and smoothly stepped forward.
"That would be great. Thanks."
"No problem," Mara said, scooping the cats up from the pavement. The blonde detective couldn't be bothered to argue. All she wanted was to curl up in her bed. No wait! I don't have a fucking bed anymore.
"What happened, Lil?"
She looked up at him, and Scotty caught the brief shadow of fear that flitted across her face.
"I, uh, was…in bed. Looking at the file. I heard…" Her voice faltered. Instinctively, Scotty reached out to touch her arm. His heart fell as he noticed the tears building at the corner of her eyes.
"Oh, Lil…" he breathed. She looked away, gasping slightly as she surveyed the smouldering mess that she used to call home.
"He burnt down my house, Scotty," she said in a small voice.
"I know," he replied. Lilly took a deep breath, fighting back the tears with everything she had left. Scotty felt his heart break a little with every drop the threatened to spill, and he gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"Come on. Let's get out of here."
"And go where, Scotty? I have no-where to go!"
"So stay with me."
The blonde's eyes widened.
"What?"
Scotty shrugged.
"Stay with me. I've got space," he repeated. Lilly shook her head.
"I can't stay with you."
"Lil, someone burnt your house down. Tried to kill you. Please. If you ain't gonna do it for you…at least do it for me."
His partner was silent for a while. Eventually, she looked up at him, her eyes burning in frustration.
"I guess I don't have a choice then."
Shutting the locker door, Scotty handed her his hooded sweatshirt, watching as she gingerly pulled it over her head. He didn't miss her wince as she raised her arms above her head. He didn't miss the soft sniffs that gave away her tears in the car ride over either.
Stillman felt his heart sink to his stomach as they walked into the Homicide department, and Jeffries and Vera felt relief like never before. But their reprieve was short lived when everything about their female colleague screamed 'Don't touch'. Scotty saw them disappear into the break room. Moving slowly, Lilly stopped outside the side room, looking through at the whiteboard covered in photos. He touched her elbow. Was he allowed to touch her?
Lilly tore her gaze away from the window, looking up at him. She drew her hands into the sleeves of his jersey, awkwardly moving closer beside him. Scotty glanced across at her curiously.
"I need you to do me a favour," she said softly. He arched an eyebrow. Lilly never asked for favours- did them for other people, yes, but never asked for them herself.
"Anythin', Lil."
And Scotty found that he meant it. At that moment, there was nothing he wouldn't have done for the enigmatic blonde standing uncertainly by his side.
"I...I haven't had a chance to eat, but Boss won't..."
"What do you want, Lil?" Scotty interrupted with a grin. Lilly offered him a tiny smile in return.
"Turkey sub and fries."
In the time it had taken Scotty to run to the store and back, Lilly had retreated into the hole George had dug for her. Walking over in silence, he stopped a few feet from her.
"Lil."
At the sound of his voice, Lilly opened her eyes. Scotty gently placed the sandwich and fries on the desk in front of her.
"Thanks," she whispered. He nodded, noting that she made no effort to reach for it.
"I'm gonna go talk to the others, OK?"
She nodded numbly, her face blank.
"Sure."
Scotty waited for a few moments, checking to see if his partner would show any other signs of life. When she didn't, he backed up into the break room, suddenly wanting to throw up.
"Scotty?" Stillman said concernedly. The younger detective blinked.
"She's beaten up pretty bad, boss," he said, choking on the words as they left his mouth, "EMT's think that blow to the back of Lil's head woulda knocked her out. Said it's a miracle she woke up when she did, or else..."
Stillman patted him on the back.
"That's fine, Scotty. You did good."
"So what now, boss?" Vera asked, his face pale. The lieutenant rubbed his eyes.
"Will and I will head down to the crime scene. Oversee from there."
"Night, boss."
"Night, Nick. Scotty."
Barely acknowledging his two colleagues as they left the room, Scotty looked over at his partner. Lilly was huddled in her desk chair, knees hugged to her chest. His hooded sweatshirt hung loosely off her body, and her sock-clad feet were curled over the edge of the seat. The turkey sub lay untouched on the desk in front of her.
The bruise around Lilly's jaw had darkened to a vicious purple, the swelling and split lip adding to her image of disarray. Blood matted the hair at the back of her head, and hints of black were just starting to show around her left eye. Scotty clenched his fist, digging his fingernails into his palm. She wasn't supposed to look like this. She was meant to look like Lilly, blonde hair, blue eyes, heart-stopping smile.
A voice broke through his bubble of rage.
"She won't let anyone else near her," Vera said quietly, "Flinches every time someone gets within two feet o' that desk."
Scotty had forgotten Nick was there. He glanced up at his friend, his eyes darkening to obsidian at the wave of rage and horror that flooded through him with Vera's insinuation.
"You think..."
Vera shrugged.
"Maybe. They found her in a pair of pyjama pants and a torn vest. She refused a rape kit."
"She wasn't raped!" Scotty burst out desperately.
"But we don't know that, Scotty," Vera said gently. His head was spinning, and just the idea of Lilly being in that position made him nauseous. Scotty felt his stomach churn, and he leant forward, resting his head on his knees. His breath came in ragged gasps. Vera patted him on the back.
"Breathe, Valens. Hyperventilatin' ain't gonna help her."
The younger detective struggled for air, his mind a jumble of thoughts. Vera waited, watching as Scotty's breathing returned to normal.
"You OK?" he asked. Scotty nodded, and looked away, feeling tears threaten to spill from the corner of his eyes.
"Sorry," he muttered. Vera shrugged.
"As I was sayin', Lil ain't lettin' anyone near her...'cept you. Not even Boss."
Scotty stood up, walking to the sink. He leant forward, splashing cold water into his face. After taking a deep breath, and wiping the droplets from his skin, the male detective straightened.
"We gotta find this creep, Nick," he murmured, heading out into the bullpen. He stopped a few feet away from Lilly, watching her chewing mechanically at her fingernails.
"Hey," he called gently. His partner jumped. She rested her head on her knees, turning her face towards him.
"Hi," she replied in a whisper. Scotty remained standing a good distance from the desk, until Lilly raised her eyes to his. The emptiness in her eyes gave him the courage to move to crouch in front of her. Scotty cleared his throat.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked softly. A faint smile appeared from her lips.
"No."
"OK, Lil."
She absently stretched out a hand to fiddle with his tie.
"I think," she began slowly, her voice barely audible, "that I'd like to stay with you after all."
Scotty smiled softly, knowing how much that admission would have cost her. He stood up, cautiously offering her a hand. Lilly stared at it, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"Scotty, I don't...I can't..."
His smile faded, a deep frown creasing his forehead.
"What's up, Lil?"
"I don't think I can trust my legs to work," she whispered. Scotty nodded in uncertain understanding. He stepped forward, leaning down and allowing Lilly to tentatively wrap her arms around his neck. Straightening, he gently pulled her up with him, sliding his arms around her waist. Scotty held her until he felt her trembling arms grow still. Lilly relaxed, resting her cheek on his shirt. Just for a moment, because it was only them in the bullpen, they stood in each other's arms.
Scotty pressed a kiss to her forehead, so light that Lilly wondered if it had been a figment of her imagination. She let her eyes close, her voice coming out as a tiny sigh.
"It hurts, Scotty."
He held her tighter.
"I know."
So Lilly's cats are fine. But she's not...and Scotty's not...and there's still someone out there trying to kill Lilly. Insert dramatic noise here. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this chapter! Because I updated so quickly, please may I have a review?
mech·a·nize