CHAPTER 2: "Where's your mommy?"

It was a week before term started, and the four…woops… five friends decided it may be time to... Oh my gosh! MUFFINS!... I'm sorry, I'm getting carried away… time to buy (or in Olivia's case shoplift) their school stuff (and in Olivia's case a new toothbrush. Her old one had been broken while she was trying to stab Oceane.)

After arriving at Vertic Alley, the wizard shopping mall, the group of friends went to get their money from Gottsgrint bank. Everyone in the wizarding world knew that Gottgrint was run by goblins (or in Marianne's words, dwarves), that is with the exception of our heroin… heroesses… heroes (not that they were very heroic in any way.). Inside, they all thought the bank was deserted, until, Manon ooh Manon tripped over one of the goblins.

"Crap! I'm so sorry little boy. I didn't see you! Where's your mommy?"

"Excuse me." Said the shocked dwarf.

"Aaaaaw… little boy needs a shave! A shave… GET IT? GET IT?" said Marianne before getting hit in the head by Olivia.

The five…. No four… GODDAMN IT! FIVE friends took thirty minutes to realise that the goblin was not a three year old who needs a shave but in fact a miniature version of a grumpy fifty year old man (with unusually pointy ears.).

"Before going into the underground tunnel first read our "BEWARE" poem."

Enter stranger but beware,

For there are cookies in our lair,

Don't be greedy or you'll die,

For you are a Jedi,

Chewbacca will be waiting for you,

But Dark Vader will try to kill you,

But don't worry, just eat your cookie,

For I am your daddy.

"I knew it!" cried Eleonore! "My father isn't dead!" she threw herself at the poor goblin and kissed him on his cheek! "I love you dad!"

The goblin was too shocked to speak. He decided to just continue. The five friends were brought into a small golf cart and they had to squeeze so that they would all fit. Eleonore happily took the poor goblin on her laps and started hugging him. He managed to get out of her grip to drive the cart. While the goblin drove them to their vaults he started telling the group of freaks all about the "super efficient and never failing" security system.

"We have so many creatures guarding the vaults," he said "Dragons, griffons, killer snakes, three headed dogs and hamsters. Our security system has never failed us and I'm sure it never w…"

"HEY GUYS! STOP THE CART! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" cried Manon.

All of the people in the cart turned around to see, not Manon, but an open door. The goblin rushed the cart back to the door. Olivia, Marianne, Oceane and Eleonore rushed inside to see what Manon was screaming about. As they passed the doorway they were all amazed by all the cookies in this room. Manon was already swimming in a pool of chocolate chipped ones.

"Is this heaven?" asked Oceane in disbelief as she grabbed a handful of chocolate cookies with smarties on top and shoved them in her mouth.

Eleonore who had already past out in a corner of the room because she had eaten too many cookies was muttering in her sugar induced coma.

"Cooooooooookies! Wonderful Cooooooooookies!"

The only one who didn't seem at all pleased with this short visit to cookie heaven was the goblin.

"Oh no what happened? How did you get in?"

"Well…" started a drunk Manon (she hadn't realised the chocolate chip cookies were filled with whisky. "I was just sitting on my seat on the golf cart… golf cart when I fell out."

"Oooooooh. You fell out." Cut in a drunken Oceane.

"Yep, I fell out. I hit what I thought was the wall…*giggle*… but it was actually… a door… HA!"

"What happened next?" said drunk Oceane as she bumped into a pile of vodka filled butter cookies and started stuffing her face with them.

"… Well the door just flew open as if there was NO security and I fell here… … look at my thumb it so funny! Don't you think it's funny?"

"Totally." Said Oceane her mouth full of the vodka cookies. "But my paw's funnier!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not."

This went on for a while. The goblin finally got the four… DAMN THIS FRIGGIN JOB! FIVE FRIENDS! DAMN IT, I ALWAYS FORGET THAT PUPPY FREAK!AAAAAAAAAAH!... Out of the cookie room and all of them got their gold out from their vaults (they stole some from other peoples vaults too). They left the bank and set off to buy the most important thing they had to buy that day… Olivia's toothbrush.

Once they arrived at the drugstore they realised the task of choosing one toothbrush for Olivia, was going to be very hard. There were just too many choices: red, blue, purple, green; electric, not electric, long bristles, short bristles… In the end Olivia shoplifted all of them.

The friends then went to the pet store to buy well… their pets. Oceane was delighted when she entered the pet shop. She was finally home! She said caught up with her childhood friends whilst the other freaks chose their pets. Olivia already had a pet, Nagini, a very deadly and poisonous man-eating snake her dad had given her as a present when she turned two, so she spent the time in the pet store terrifying little six year olds who where looking at the hamsters. Marianne on the other hand was deciding on whether or not to get a Frisbee for Oceane, Eleonore was talking with magical fish who shared the same interest in Voldemort's recipes as she did and Manon, oooh Manon she had tripped over a dog kennel, bumped into a shelf where a number of owl cages were placed, a dozen of those cages fell to the ground and one in particular broke open and a hysterical barn owl erupted from it.

"CRAP!" exclaimed Manon as the owl orbited around her.

"Oh dear! ,started the shop owner, You seem to have broken his cage, you're going to have to by him!"

"Can't you just wave your wand and do that sort of repairing charm or something. You are a witch, so…"

"….. Shhhhhhhhhhh! You must've hit your head pretty hard. Now give me your money and you can leave."

After paying (unfortunately hiding an owl under your shirt was not very subtle), the group of friends left the shop. In the end Marianne did by the Frisbee for Oceane, Eleonore bought 7 cookie-loving fish (She named them Voldie, Einstein, Hitler, Gorbachev, Mother Theresa, Hades and Archduke Franz-Ferdinand) and Manon was forced to by that barn owl who seemed to be on a never ending sugar rush, just like his owner. Each time Manon tried to name him he didn't respond so he was still nameless.

Next stop was the cauldron store, then the book store, then the tailor, then the ice cream break, then the ski equipment shop, then the beach ball shop, then the cake shop, then the sock store, then the 'You suck' store (that one was more for Manon than anyone else.), the Adam Lambert Fan club (Marianne?), Toy Kingdom, Bombs 'r' us, the hairdresser, the dog hairdresser, the psychiatrist, IKEA, the record store, 2nd ice cream break, Marshmallow kingdom, after a traumatising visit of Marshmallow kingdom they all stopped for a third ice cream break, the ribbon shop, the hardware shop, the candy store, the candy store, the candy store, the candy store… Each time they set foot out of the candy store they missed the sugar so much they ran back in. After an indigestion due to all the 'healthy food' they were eaten they all stopped for a break.

"So we're all done, right?" asked Marianne.

"Yeah, I think so." Agreed Manon.

"I feel like we forgot something." Interjected Eleonore.

"No, I don't think so…" answered Olivia.

"Hey what's that shop?" asked Manon.

They all looked in the direction Manon was pointing. There was a big sign that read: "OLIVANDER'S WAND SHOP"

"I don't know." Admitted Marianne.

"Let's go check it out." Suggested Olivia.

So all four, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FIVE friends entered the mysterious wand shop. There was an old dude at the counter.

"Ah… Olivia, Oceane, Eleonore, Marianne, Manon, I've been expecting y-"

"Don't kiss our asses!" scolded Olivia.

"I'm sorry." He bowed. Oceane barked.

"Now, we are looking for five wands and toothpaste if you have any."

"Yes, of course, a wizard's most powerful weapon… Toothpaste!" he said in a mysterious voice while handing a strawberry flavoured tube to Olivia.

"What am I five?" she asked indignantly as she shoved the tube in one of her hundreds of shopping bags.

The next hour was spent trying out wands and, in this particular case, destroying Mr. Olivander's shop. Every time a wand didn't work the shop owner would go back and fetch yet another shoe box (the shop was running low on funds so they had to use shoe boxes instead of wand boxes.) and make one of the friends try out yet another wand. In the end the shop was half burned down. Eleonore had her wand, Manon had her wand, Oceane had her wand and Marianne had her wand (it happened to be the most powerful wand in the world… unfortunately Marianne couldn't make the difference between her wand that could make her the master of the universe or a useless twig…), only Olivia still didn't have her wand. Time after time Mr. Olivander tried to get Olivia a fitting won and time after time he failed. After hours of trying and failing Olivia got kid of a lot pissed, and jumped behind the counter, picked out a box at random and opened it. What she saw was probably the coolest looking wand ever. It was shaped like a gun and it was just LEGENDARY.

"Give it a try!" said Olivander.

Olivia left the shop, followed by her four friends. She was pretty satisfied by what she had done (FUN FACT: Mr. Olivander is still in a coma today.).

All friends got home safely… or as safely as Manon can, which pretty much means getting ten stitches instead of twenty… and packed all their stuff for the upcoming school year, but none of them could've guessed what was going to happen next, even though Olivia claims to have known all along and, no one dares contradict Olivia…

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