Chapter 2
I don't own any characters. Massahi Kishimoto does.
Meanwhile, Itachi and Kisame had decided, with Konan's help (which consisted of her stomping into their room, unplugging the NES and shoving a calendar in their rightfully shocked and appalled faces) to begin the annual Spring Cleaning of the Akatsuki Hideout. They might as well... besides, Itachi had stepped on one of the many dango skewers littered about their room last week, and Kisame had had to spend half an hour removing the splinters from his partner's foot. Needless to say, he never wanted to do that again, for as long as he lived. (Itachi did not respond favorably to any kind of pain, especially when there was somebody on the other end of that pain who could conceivably be killed. Kisame was glad that he was himself, otherwise he would probably be in Zetsu's stomach right now...) That was the reason that both of them were in the basement, feeding the incinerator on the many bulging bags of trash they'd collected from various rooms this morning. Also, the reason why Kisame was trying to get a sticky wrapper of some sort off his foot without actually touching it. He didn't want to know what it was but, hazarding a look down at his foot, saw half of what was unmistakably a melted gummy shark, squished into the treads of his sandals.
"Quit flailing around, oaf." Itachi said, continuing to toss handfuls of his candy wrappers, Hidan's hamburger boxes, and Tobi's popsicle sticks into the incinerator maw. Kisame didn't listen, too horrified at the thought of a shark, even a gummy one, on the bottom of his shoe. Trying to kick off the offending sandal and attached shark, he ended up flinging it off his foot. "I said, stop freaking out Kisa- oh kuso!" The sandal sailed in smooth slo-mo across the room before making a heavy (for a shoe) impact on the tallest, most unstable tower of boxes in the whole basement. The stack teetered for about half a second before descending in an avalanche of cardboard, wooden limbs, and a cloud of dust that reeked of mothballs, sawdust, and Pledge. A strangled noise from his left alerted Kisame to the fact that his partner had just been bowled over by a massive box full of wooden feet and the remains of what appeared to be Hiruko's tail segments. Turning to heave the box off his partner, Kisame never got the chance to help him, as a heavy, cylindrical object hit him square on the head and felled him like a large, blue tree. The incinerator was inordinately happy, with all this new food, and proceed to eagerly spread its devouring flames out and through the highly flammable debris of the basement...