Wasted Away Chapter 2: Come Clean, a newsies fanfic

((AN: Lyrics belong to My Favorite Highway. Newsies belongs to Disney))

Is it wrong to assume that you missed me?
Because the look in your eyes says that you're dying to kiss me
The touch of your lips is tasteful and forgiving
A part of the past that I don't mind reliving

She was in my arms, and we were dancing, surrounded by the greenery of Central Park. Nothing could ever compete with the feeling of her in my arms.

She looked up at me with those amazing green eyes of hers, and I think my heart stopped. Or maybe it was my brain that stopped because before I could control myself, I was leaning down to kiss her.

The moment our lips touched- well, let's just say that moment convinced me that heaven really does exist.

And then I opened my eyes. But instead of looking into the face of an angel, I was staring at the dirty wall of the room I was renting.

I flipped over onto my other side so I could see out the window. It was still dark outside, but I could hear movement down on the streets. It must've been early morning. I probably had another half hour or so before I had to be up, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. I still wasn't used to the quiet of this place. I guess after sharing a room with twenty-odd boys every night for the past ten years or so I'd gotten used to sleeping amidst constant noise. Even in the middle of the night, when we were all sleeping, there were the creaks of the beds, and snoring, and always someone talking in their sleep. Usually Mush. That kid talked more when he was asleep then when he was awake.

Between the eerie silence, and the fact that every time I fell asleep I dreamed of Beth-Anne, I wasn't getting a whole lot of rest.

I sighed and pushed the covers off, getting out of bed, and beginning my day. I really hate myself sometimes.

Lying awake in the dark,

Well don't you think that we're taking this a little to far
Don't ask me questions, show me answers
The policy is honesty and nothing is censored

I finished my morning routine in record time, and headed out into the warm spring air. It had been about three months since I'd seen Beth that day on the street. Three whole months, and I still couldn't stop thinking about her.

It really pissed me off that she had such a strong hold on me still. I'd always prided myself in being invincible. Never letting anybody get too close. I always acted like it was because I was too good to let anybody in. The guy who could get by on his own, never needing anybody's help.

The truth is it was because I'm a coward. And a selfish one at that. I just didn't want to get hurt. So I built my walls, for whatever the stupid reason, and they worked pretty well for the most part. Until Beth. She somehow managed to find a crack. And once she'd found her way in, there was no hope. God, I'm pathetic. And I should probably stop saying "God." You know, in case that heaven thing really does exist.

At least I'd finally quit being a newsie. That was a step in the right direction. Ironically enough, I'd gotten a job at the same factory Jack was working at. Even more ironically, it was a factory Beth's father owned. I just can't escape her.

Nobody wants to, but everyone needs to come clean
While we break bad habits
Try and be good when you're misunderstood
Trade one heart for another
Stop, just hit the breaks, I've had all I can take
The need to compensate for all our mistakes
We fake the love we make
What you get is what you take

I arrived at the factory a few minutes early, and was surprised to see Jack there already. Usually he was late. I think he still thought of himself as "Jack Kelly the great strike leader." But in reality most people had already forgotten about the strike. I mean, look at us, we bust our butts for 8 hours a day for a few dollars a week. We were really on the road to greatness.

"Hey Jack." I said as I walked up, nodding at him.

"Skittery." He responded. Jack seldom formed whole sentences in the morning. He dropped the cigarette he had been smoking on the ground, grinding his heel on top of it before falling into step beside me.

"What are you doing here so early?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. Or maybe it was just the need for conversation.

"Haven't you heard?" Jack asked, smirking at me, "The big guy's gonna be here today. He has a meeting with Whyte."

"Oh." Big deal. It's not like he's gonna see that Jack decided to grace us with his presence, and give him a promotion. I hope not anyway, that would really piss me off.

The doors of the factory were unlocked, and I made my way up to my station, Nodding a goodbye in Jack's direction.

The day went by slower then usual, and by the time the bell rang signaling the end of the work day every part of my body was hurting. My back was aching from sitting hunched over, my eyes stinging from staring at tiny pieces as I fitted them together, and my head hurt from the stuffiness of the room.

I put my things away like the good little employee that I was, and moved towards the door, anticipating the fresh air.

Unfortunately, when I stepped outside, my lungs stopped working. No fresh air for me. Standing next to a carriage, beside a towering figure of a man was none other then Beth. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was like a bad dream that I couldn't wake up from.

I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. She was laughing at something her father had said, and that only made it worse. She had a great laugh. Not all high pitched and annoying like a lot of the girls I know. Her laugh was real. It was contagious.

Her eyes found mine, and I think it actually surprised her for a moment. She froze, and we both stood where we were, staring at each other across a distance of about twenty feet.

In those few seconds I came to a realization. Knowing the truth about why she had stopped speaking to me only made things worse. At least when I thought she'd just been playing games with me, I was able to hate her a little bit. But knowing what had really happened. Well, that just meant she really was as perfect as I thought she was. And on top of that she'd had a tragedy to deal with. How do you hate somebody in that situation?

I was about to turn away, when she started walking towards me. Oh great, here we go again.

"Skittery. It's good to see you." Her smile was hesitant as If she didn't know quite what to say.

Well it's cruel to be kind, but you're to kind to be cruel
And you've never had a problem with me playing the fool
It's perfectly fair if you're fully aware
And I wouldn't dare, it's a secret, I swear.
You've never been the one to let down your guard
But this is my game face and I'm playing the right cards
You're so selfish you're already sweating
Staring down the barrel of a shotgun wedding

"Hello, Beth." I answered, hoping my own smile was as convincing as hers.

"So you're working here now?"

Yeah no kidding. Way to pick up on the details. I think I'm becoming bitter, I really need to stop that. "Yeah, I am. It's good, pays better then being a newsie." Barely.

"That's good, I'm glad for you."

I cleared my throat, "So, uh, how have you been?"

"I've been good." She looked down, and that's when I noticed it. She was wearing a ring on her finger. Her left hand, ring finger. "I'm engaged. To Jonathon Black."

Breathe, Skittery. Just breathe. "Wow, that's great. I'm happy for you."

Beth shrugged showing a forced smile, "Papa's happy, he thinks it's a good match."

I raised my eyebrows at that, "You don't want to get married?"

"No," She answered slowly, her eyes guarded, "I do want to get married."

"Just not to him, right?"

Beth's cheeks tinged pink. I knew her better then she'd thought. She shrugged again, but her face betrayed her real feelings. "Papa thinks it's best."

I shook my head, looking away from her in disgust. "What happened to you?" I asked, looking back at her. "That doesn't sound anything like the Beth I used to know."

Anger sparked in her eyes. Well, that was new. I don't think I'd ever seen her angry before. At least not at me. "I'm a different person now."

"Yeah, I guess so." I shot back, unable to hold my tongue.

"The death of a mother can do that to somebody."

I can't believe she just said that to me. "Look," I said, trying to keep my temper under control, "I'm sorry about your ma, I really am. But don't talk to me like I don't know what pain is. I've dealt with more pain in my life then you could even begin to imagine. You act like you've had it so rough. Look at you, you're like a spoiled princess."

"Well, aren't you all high and mighty! As if that pain you talk about didn't change you!" She said right back, her eyes blazing.

"Of course it didn't!"

"Oh, come on!" She exclaimed, her hand on her hip, "You walk around with this giant chip on your shoulder! You act like nobody could ever understand you, poor pitiful Skittery. And God forbid someone try to get close to you."

Well, that was enough for me, I turned away so fast my back began to ache again. I didn't even look back.

I hate it when she's right.

I turned the corner, walking angrily back towards the building I now called home. Well, at least I had a reason to be mad at her now. Maybe that would help me to forget her.

I doubt it, but hey, I can be optimistic. And don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

It's over now
All that you gave is fading out
Nothing is as it was.