An: *angst warning :O Remember how I said 'ups and downs'? This is one of those downs. This is not what I had originally planned on posting this evening, but this is what is being posted none-the-less. Feed back is always welcomed.
Need You Now
Everything was shattering to pieces around her. One foot in her daughter's bedroom and one foot out the door, she pressed her cheek to the door frame, unable to leave. But it was coming - she'd only just gotten Miracle to sleep, and the tears she felt welling up inside of her - Aala knew, how quick they would turn to sobs, and how selfish it would be to wake the sleeping baby now. But she couldn't bring herself to leave.
It was too much. To love someone this much. To have someone depend on her alone for everything - nourishment, care, love, protection...
She couldn't protect her, she knew now. Inquisitor Malorum had come in search of damming evidence, and meant to leave nothing in his wake. If not for Ferus and Gregar, their quick and brave actions...
Aala couldn't bear to think of the possibilities, but she couldn't help herself either, fear taking over her heart. The pain little Mir would feel, the terror if she had been taken...
The cry of despair escaped before she could stop herself, echoing in the empty hall and she threw her arm across her mouth to try to catch the sound. It was muffled, but barely and in a flurry of movement Aala hit the sensor to make the door slide closed and fell to the floor.
Obi-Wan. Where was Obi-Wan? Why was he not here? She needed him now.
Another sob was torn from her throat as she imagined the worst. Something happened; he's dead. He doesn't care. He doesn't want you; he doesn't want Mir...
She was tired, she was exhausted. She hadn't slept in days. But how could she sleep again? If one person could come this close...
Malorum had come in search of Skywalker's child, but what if he had discovered Kenobi's instead...
The sobbing was a torrent now, unstoppable; tears streaming down her face, she did nothing but let them take over. With no windows, the hall was dark, lit only by a faded shaft of light that came from the sitting room, and empty, save for her.
Almost choking, her throat felt swollen as she cried and her head was starting to pound so she let herself slump to the floor, her arms curled under her as a pillow.
She cried and cried, and as her energy drained, so did her stress, little by little, her body giving in, letting go. She wanted to plead, to cry for him to come, to appear, something, but she couldn't.
And when there were no more tears, her eyes feeling raw and scratchy, Aala forced herself to take long, deep breaths.
She would be strong, she would do this because she had to, because right now there was no one else, and she would find a way to pick herself up. But not tonight.
For how long, she had no idea but she laid there on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, her head resting on her hands and she stared at the square of moonlight on the floor, just out of reach.
Eventually, finally, she fell asleep and that's where he found her, on the floor outside Miracle's room, early the next morning.