More sad than I usually like to write them. Based on a song.
Dramione- Hate me by blue october
Draco found that there was absolutely no way to keep her out of his head. He wanted to drink. He knew it would take away the pain for a little while, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It repulsed him now. It was the drinking that made her have to leave. So he wasn't going to touch it ever again.
He was all alone now. And he knew it was better that way. What kind of a person was he? He drove away the best thing to come into his life.
The war had been too much and after his father went to prison and his mother died in an accident he didn't want to handle real life anymore.
Hermione had made it better. She had made it so he wasn't so alone.
But he was alone again.
He wanted her to stop calling him. He wanted her to stop checking and making sure he was okay. He never answered the phone. He was always somewhere else when she came by. And eventually she stayed away.
He wanted her to hate him for what he'd done to her. He closed his eyes and remembered everything she had done for him.
She would hold him while he cried, and soothe him enough that he could finally sleep.
She helped him into bed when he was so drunk he couldn't even find the bedroom.
She never yelled at him. She just tried to help. And he had done nothing for her in return.
Hermione was gentle and kind and beautiful.
He was a real bastard. A selfish bastard that deserved to be hated.
She had been his. His Hermione. His saving grace and angel.
She was gone now and it was all his fault.
He kicked a chair over in his office and cursed out loud. He wanted her to hate him. He deserved her hatred, but she just kept loving him anyways.
He remembered the night she left. The night he had told her that he wasn't good for her.
"How can you do this to me?" she had asked him
He broke it off with her because he knew he wasn't good for her. She needed someone better. She deserved the best and he was the worst. Maybe if he stayed away long enough she would figure this out.
He realized now that she had stopped smiling. That he drained her of her life and energy. Even now while she was just trying to take care of him from a distance it didn't help her at all.
Even when the doorbell rang and he opened it without thinking and he saw her standing there. She was there again to help him.
He wanted her to hate him.
He hated himself.