Author's note: Thank you guys so much for the encouragement! I'm sorry for taking such a long time to write this chapter.
This chapter will have a song and I recommend listening to it once it comes up ^^ here's the youtube link /watch?v=TW2IBVctARE
If you enjoy this story, please leave me some reviews, I'd love to know what you guys think!
Let Me Be With You
Chapter 2. Hello, Goodbye
Day 1.
Hyorin
I walked up the stairs leading up to Rika's apartment. It took me nearly 30 minutes to figure out where it was. The annoying thing about this world, this universe, this system, whatever you call it, is that every single time I reset, everything became different. Streets were named differently, arranged differently, houses and buildings numbered differently. It would have been convenient for the world to stay the same, but the world didn't want to make it easy for me.
I awaited Saeran to give me the passcode to the apartment. The passcode changed every single time too. It was a problem at first for me, since I would always re-enter the old password. However, after awhile I made sure to have the passcode written down in my phone.
"Th..a..nk...y.o...u..," the messages faded out.
"Yeah right," I thought to myself, "See you soon Saeran. We've got a lot of business to take care of."
I took a deep breath and logged into the chatroom. I had thought that I would never have to do this again, and yet here I was. Yoosung complaining about failing his midterms. Zen and Jumin bickering. It felt like home, not in a good way.
It took them a while to realize that I was there, as usual.
"Hello..," I timidly spoke up.
"Gahhhhh it's talking!", Yoosung screamed.
"It? That's a rude thing to say about your ex-girlfriend Yoosung," I almost wanted to snap back, but there were only limited things I could say.
That's right, I reminded myself, the fun only began once I met them in person.
Besides, Yoosung would have no memories of me as his girlfriend. Not that I was complaining about it.
"Who is it?" Jumin asked calmly.
Saeyoung was looking up my IP address. It was hard to determine whether he remembered about us, or he was just playing along with the script. There was the possibility that the system as I knew it was changed completely. After all, the app had displayed some very odd behavior. It was...as if it did not want me to progress faster. The app used to amaze me with its unlimited power. It could stop, rewind and fast forward time, real time, like nobody's business, given that I paid a small sum of money. When things went sour, I could reset everything and went back to day one. I felt like God as long as I still had the app on my phone. I truly was Homura, the time witch from Madoka, maybe even more powerful. But now, I could only progress as fast as everyone else. It bothered me that the system had changed, and that nothing seemed to make sense.
However, if the system really changed that much, there was a possibility that Saeyoung's memories were reset like everyone else' and he could not remember the time when we were together.
My head hurt thinking about that possibility. Not just because of how hard it was for Saeyoung to open up to me, but to think that everything we went through together had vanished into thin air. The first time he showed up at my door. The awkward days we spent together in that room that I cherished so much. The night he came to my bed and spilled out his heart content to me, thinking that I was asleep (I wasn't, thankfully since that speech kept me going). Our first kiss.
Serve you right Hyorin, for all those times you pressed reset on Zen, Yoosung, Jaehee and Jumin.
The group kept on bickering as I patiently waited for them. The funny thing was, everyone thought that RFA was dysfunctional in some way ever since Rika passed away. Zen openly told me how he didn't like any guy in RFA except for Yoosung, Jaehee always felt awkward among them, everyone thought Jumin only cared about Elizabeth 3rd, so on and so on. But for me, an outsider, it was always obvious how tightknit they were. At times it became too much, as it was obvious that some of them were reliving Rika through me, thinking that somehow things could go back to when Rika was alive.
I never even liked Rika.
"So Hyorin, do you want to join RFA?"
I smiled. Did I even have a choice?
"Alright it sounds fun. I'll give it a go."
Saeyoung
The experiment had been a great success. I was worried that resetting would not work, since Hyorin was shot beforehand. My hands trembled when I saw the familiar notification "Username Hyorin has entered the chatroom". So many things crossed through my mind. Was she okay? Did she remember Saeran and the church? Did she remember...us? That would make things very hard.
"Hey Luciel, one last thing," V said over the phone. "Verify her number and give her a call, won't you? Then inform the other members too."
I sighed. "I've got her number, it's the right one. I don't need to make a call."
"We still need to verify that this is the correct number. Just give her a welcoming call and be nice to her Luciel."
V, I mumbled under my breath, I really fucking hate you sometimes.
"Rrrrr,rrrr"
"Hello?"
"Your bank account has been used for a fun prank," I put on my best smile, hoping that she could feel it through my voice. "Were you aware of this? I have to confirm your cell phone number for your identity so please follow the instructions."
"Saeyoung?"
Relax, Luciel. You knew this was going to happen, I told myself. I didn't exactly know, I really was hoping that she would forget this time since it wasn't her who pressed reset. But it seemed like her memory was intact.
Did she remember the gunshot, I wonder. In movies where someone had died and gone to heaven, or chose to remain as ghosts on earth, they always have a problem remembering circumstances surrounding their deaths. I wonder if that was the case for her.
"Dear gullible customer, I am not aware of this "Saeyoung" person you speak of. However, in order to verify your identity, please go ahead and say 'Honey, I love you'," I said in a comical voice.
"Saeyoung, I love you."
My heart skipped a beat hearing her gentle voice say my name for the second time. I wanted desperately to reach out to her, to tell her that I loved her back. In a way, I was happy to see that she still remembered us. I was happy to know that I mattered to her.
"Ahhh, very cute. Now please tell me your phone number."
"Saeyoung, do you not remember me?"
"This is Hyorin, right? You just joined RFA this morning because someone led you to Rika's apartment, correct? I don't know who this Saeyoung guy is, but he must be so lucky to have a cute girl worry about him like this."
"Listen Saeyoung, I don't know what happened. I...I swear I didn't press reset. I would never, ever do anything like that to you," her breath was quick and her voice dampened. "Please believe me. Look, can you meet me at Rika's apartment? I'll explain everything to you."
"Username Hyorin, you're quite the prankster yourself," I laughed. "You've almost got me there. I see I've finally found my match in RFA. I look forward to joining forces with you in the chatroom."
"I see..." her voice deflated like a balloon. "...I guess I was wrong to assume. So you really don't remember me, do you?"
"What are you talking about? I'm calling because I needed to verify your number. I'm sure that I remember you from this morning quite well."
"..."
"I see that this is the correct number. I'll go ahead and tell the other members so that they can call you too, okay?
"..."
"Please take good care of the RFA, okay? Looking forward to it! Then, bye bye!"
I turned off the phone and collapsed into my seat. It seemed like it would take more than a bag of chips and soda for me to recover from this conversation. I hated hearing her cry. I hated hurting her. I hated being a jerk to her again, after what I already put her through. But I had no other choice. From now on, I told myself, I would abstain from calling, or receiving calls from her.
Day 11 - Jaehee's route
Hyorin
Jaehee, having quit her job at Jumin's company, had lost the glasses, looking more vibrant than ever. I smiled sadly when she greeted me, knowing that in the life I would ultimately end up in, she would still be working for Jumin and his absurd projects.
It had been a month since the incident happened and my life with Saeyoung was brutally ripped away from my hands. I had played my part perfectly, dutifully dating Zen and Yoosung, and befriending Jaehee in order to unlock the pathway to Saeyoung. I looked around the ballroom. Saeyoung, for some reasons unknown, had bailed out of the two previous parties. I was disappointed of course, since the party was the only occasion I was looking forward to. It had been a month since I last saw his face, and I still missed him so much. My heart jumped every time I saw his name in the chatroom. On the rare occasions that he texted and called me, usually about my security and the bomb in the apartment, I could hardly contain my excitement. Of course, I still had to act discreetly, since I was technically dating Zen or Yoosung at the time.
Now that I was not in love with either of them anymore, it had become obvious just how much Saeyoung cared. From before, I was totally engulfed with Zen's scandal involving Echo Girl, or Yoosung's concern with Rika. I could not see what an important role Saeyoung played in the organization. Whenever anything went wrong, it had always fallen on him to fix the mistake and restored the order. Restoring the order, I smiled, Defender of Justice, Seven O Seven. He had work with the agency, and I still remembered how dangerous and high stake his job was. Still, he'd rather drop everything to come fix RFA's security breach before finishing work at the agency. And he was always, always so concerned about my security, well everyone's security actually. He didn't need to care, it's not like he was being paid by Jumin to do this. All of RFA relied on him so much, yet they never appreciated him enough.
"Hyorin! Oh my god it's really you!" Yoosung jumped up and down excitedly upon seeing my face. "Come here and meet Seven."
"Sa...Seven is here?" I was surprised. I thought he was just gonna bail this time. Of course, no one remembered him bailing but me.
"Yeah, of course, where else would he be? Come." Yoosung pulled my hand.
"Yeah, if only you knew."
"Seven!" Yoosung yelled out. "It's Hyorin! In the flesh! Look how pretty she is."
I held my breath as the young man with the red hair turned around. It sounded like a cheesy drama, but time really seemed to stand still at that moment. My heart was practically jumping out of my chest cavity, my palms got all sweaty, and I could hardly open my mouth to say hello.
For some reasons, this feeling of the world standing still felt familiar to me. Like I had experience this somewhere before. But because I had lived so many lives, the memories of the different worlds started to blur into each other. Just the other day, I nonchalantly asked Zen how his brother was doing through the phone call.
"Hiya Hyorin," he smiled, and his hazel eyes were filled with warmth and sunshine. I tried to wipe off the beads of sweat that were forming on my upper lips, but I was afraid of smearing my lipstick and looking like an idiot in front of him. I had chosen to wear a red lip today, being the idiot that I was. "Glad to see you here."
After all this time, I was still so in love with him it was ridiculous. Admittedly, dating Zen and Yoosung was fun. I was happy to be back to the days when everyone trusted V and had impeccable memories of Rika. It was relieving to see Yoosung become motivated and accomplished again, after letting go of his obsession with Rika. With Zen, I got to relive my life with him before he became really famous. I had him all to myself for a few days, and I could see how Zen would make any girl so happy. But I already knew that he wouldn't make me happy. He had not then, and would not now.
"I'm so glad you came," I smiled. "I was really looking forward to seeing you."
"Who, me? You wanted to see me? Hyorin that's too cute. You can't say things like that to guys okay," he laughed and held out his hand. "Don't you know how fragile our hearts are?"
Our eyes locked for a moment as we shook hands. I looked deep into his eyes, camouflaged behind the colorful pair of glasses, for an answer. So many questions, so many hidden answers. Did he still love me? Did he still retain his special ability to remember? How was he feeling right now? What would become of us in the future?
"I know how fragile your heart is," I winked.
He withdrew his hand and cleared his throat. My heart sank. So I guess he had no feelings for me. I wanted to punch myself, feelings a million ways of embarrassment. This was a different world now, I told myself. Just because he had fallen for you before, didn't mean that he would again. As far as I knew, everything had changed in this universe.
"The party is a great success. You did a goob job Hyorin," Saeyoung smiled. "But next time, please don't download strange apps and follow directions of strangers okay? That is so dangerous."
I almost teared up at the worriness in his voice. "Okay, don't worry. We're all safe now, right?"
"Hyorin," Jumin appeared in front of my eyes. "I needed to talk to you. It's very urgent."
"Uhm," I stuttered, as Saeyoung stepped back, looking uncomfortable. "Sure."
"In private,"
Saeyoung waved goodbye and turned around, disappeared in the sea of people.
"What is it Jumin?" I tapped my foot.
"Uhm, so this is pretty awkward. I needed your advice. We all see how much of an impact you have on Jaehee..."
"She just needed someone to listen to her you know," I crossed my arms. "You were pretty harsh on her."
"I don't want to talk about that right now."
"Okay, that's fair. I won't start a fight with you then."
"Thank you," he looked more relieved now. "So I have this friend. And I think he's very confused and hurt, and he seems to be leading himself towards this really dark path. I really want to help him, but I don't know how."
"Is it V?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.
"How did you know?" Jumin was surprised.
"I don't know, a woman's instinct?" I laughed. "You don't have many friends Jumin. It's pretty easy to figure out who you're talking about."
"That's true."
I sighed. The reason why V was like this.
A vision came into my head. V was standing in the door. Saeran called out to him. Saeyoung was confused and looked hurt. And we were led away to a car.
"Hyorin? Hyorin?" Jumin called out to me.
"I'm sorry, I was spacing out," I shook my head.
What was that? I wondered. Was that a memory? How come I never remembered this until now? Did I suffer from amnesia? "I think, I know why V is like this." I slowly said.
"Do you really? How do you know?"
"I don't know how either," I sighed. "But if you really want to help V, I'd be happy to help."
"Thank you so much," Jumin exhaled. "I was afraid you were going to turn me down because of what happened with Jaehee."
"As long as you don't lock me up again, I'm all in."
"What?" His eyebrows burrowed in confusion.
"It's nothing haha. I was making a joke."
At times like this, knowledge about your ex boyfriend really helps, I thought as I watched Jumin's confused face.
"Oh my god, is that a piano?" I gasped as I saw the black shiny piano in a corner near the stage, in order to divert the situation.
"Yes it is," Jumin fixed his tie. "I hired a pianist to perform today but I don't know where he is right now."
"Hyorin," Zen sneaked up behind us. "Do you play the piano?"
"Uhm," I laughed nervously. "Just a little bit. I used to be really into it. My old house had a small piano where I practiced, but it's been a while."
"Why don't you play something for us?" Yoosung asked.
"Uhm, no it's okay," I shook my head. "I only remember this one really cheesy song, and then I'd have to sing too."
"That's even better! Hyorin I really want to hear you sing,"
"No!" I freaked out. "I get stage fright! I'm really scared."
"Just a small performance won't hurt, right Jumin?"
"Well..." Jumin said hesistantly. "I'd like for my guests to be entertained right now, since that pianist is nowhere to be found."
"No way in hell guys. Zen why don't you provide us with entertainment?"
"I can't do that," Zen winked, and I could hear the faint cry of his fan club in the distance. "I can't steal the spotlight of the party like this."
"Attention everyone," Jaehee suddenly appeared on stage. "Thank you all so much for coming here today. I would like you to meet the lady to made this happen. Come on stage Hyorin."
My face reddened. No matter how many times I have done this, it was still embarrassing for me to stand up on the stage. Especially when most of the speakers in the past had wanted to perform some kind of grandeur action, professing their love to me for the world to see.
'Hi eveyone," I smiled nervously. "Thank you so much for coming here today. I got a lot of help from members of the RFA, so don't believe Jaehee when she said this was all me."
Jaehee slapped my back discreetly.
"This party was made possible by the participation of everyone here. So in a way, you all made this happen, and I'm so happy to see so many people here. Thank you all so much and enjoy the party."
"And for entertainment, we would like to introduce, yours truly, Miss Hyorin as the opening act for tonight."
I was halfway down the stage, lifting my dress when I heard Jaehee's announcement. I looked up on stage in disbelief while she winked at me. Yoosung and Zen clapped passionately while whistling to me.
Ha. Ha Ha Ha. This is funny guys, I gave Jaehee a panicked look, but she just brushed past me.
You guys are so dead, I shot them the dirtiest look that I could manage. When the party is done, I'm going to skin all four of you.
"I'm going to kill all of you," I grunted as Jaehee came down from the stage to adjust the mic onto the stand on top of the piano. "I am so going to kill every single person in RFA. Except for Luciel."
"Oh, is that so?" Jaehee smiled. "Why single out Luciel as the sole survivor?"
"Because he didn't participate in this ridiculous conspiracy against me," I gritted my teeth.
"And that's where you are wrong...Anyway, ladies and gentlemen's," Jaehee announced. "Miss Hyorin."
"Hello again," I laughed nervously. "Unfortunately our pianist was a bit late, so I was filled in as the opening act."
Silence. Complete silence. This was so unprofessional. Why didn't Jumin step in and stop this? I wiped the sweaty palms on my dress.
"Has anyone here seen the drama 'My Love from Another Star'?" I asked nervously.
Half the guests laughed, and some people raised their hands.
"That's good, that's more than I expected," I laughed awkwardly again. "I'm sorry that I don't have very sophisticated taste haha. Anyway, I will be performing this song from the TV show, and it is called Hello, Goodbye."
I darted my eyes around the huge ballroom and saw Saeyoung leaning on a column, standing by himself. He smiled at me encouragingly and waved at me. His red hair was as unruly as ever, but something about the sight of him in a white suit and ochre-colored tie really drew my eyes in. He was so handsome, I dare say even more than Zen was. Zen was beautiful, but Saeyoung's face had characteristics.
I cleared my throat. Fuck it. After all, after today I was going to reset the app before choosing the pathway to Saeyoung anyway. Let's mess things up. Might as well have a little fun along the way.
"I want to dedicate this song to a certain someone, to whom I am deeply grateful to and care about very much. You don't know this person, but he's someone that is very important to RFA, the most important person in RFA in fact," I inhaled deeply. "We used to have a lot of fun together, and I don't think he still remembers, but I want to cherish him anyway. Thank you Luciel Choi, for making this possible."
Yoosung's jaw dropped as Zen stumbled backwards. Jumin shifted ever so slightly in his seat and loosened his tie. I closed my eyes and started playing the first few notes.
You came to me by coincidence and embraced me
And as we blankly stared at each other, you said goodbye.
You only passed through in my dreams
But now you're in front of me
I opened my eyes and searched the crowd for Saeyoung. He was still leaning on the column, his facial expression a mixture of surprise and something else I couldn't discern. Was he surprised? Was he pleased? Did this trigger any memory in him, of the time when we were together?
Love has come
But you say you're leaving
I waited for you
But you say I can't see you anymore
Always like a fool
The flowing tears tell me
Goodbye now, goodbye
Hello Hello
Hello Hello Hello
Wow, this was ridiculous, I thought to myself. The lyrics of this cheesy song, and this situation were both so ridiculous. Somehow, through some cruel twist of fate, we had become strangers again. It hurt me so much every day, no matter how hard I wanted to fight it. I missed his breathing by my side. I missed holding onto him when I was sleeping, feeling his heartbeat through his chest. I missed seeing his face first thing in the morning, comforting him from a bad dream. Why did it have to be this way? Who did this to us? I almost wanted to scream.
When we meet again,
I'll be the first to say I'm alright, hello
Will I see you at least in my dreams?
I close my eyes
It's okay, I told myself. You'd press reset and see him again. You'd get to him again. You'd make him yours again.
But I still missed him so much.
Before I knew it, a single teardrop fell onto the piano's key, followed by multiple other teardrops. I tried to keep my voice and my hands steady, not wanting to ruin the performance, even though the whole room had become blurry in front of my eyes.
I hope time hurries up
And brings you to me
I hope you will tell me just once
Things that are unbelievable
Where are you?
Do you know my heart?
I miss you
But you say I can't see you anymore
Always like a fool
I shout to the night sky
Hello
I looked up and Saeyoung was gone from his spot. Ha, I smiled through the tears. So this was how it felt to be rejected. I probably made him feel very uncomfortable. After all, what was I to him even? Just some random girl who stumbled into RFA a few days ago. Of course I meant nothing to him.
Goodbye now
Goodbye now
Goodbye now
Goodbye now
Goodbye
I stood up from my seat and wiped the tears from my eyes. Some people clapped politely, but most of them were still too shocked to see me cry.
"I need to check my mascara," I mumbled, practically sprinting past Jaehee and the boys.
Jaehee entered the bathroom after me.
"That was a great performance Hyorin."
"Thank you," I blew my nose into a napkin.
"Hyorin...I don't know if this is my place to ask this," Jaehee gently put her hand on my arm. "But...did something happen between you and Luciel?"
"It doesn't matter now," I smile, "Don't worry about it."
"I can't help but notice, Hyorin, that you got along exceptionally well with him in the chatroom. I didn't necessarily enjoy the jokes, but it was fun nonetheless to see Luciel and you having so much fun."
Ha, I laughed. Was I that obvious? Did everyone know I was in love with Sae...no, I should start calling him Seven now. I have no right to keep calling him by his birth name anymore. Right. Had everyone known that I was in love with Seven? Well, if they hadn't then they did now.
"Whatever happened between you two, just talk to each other and resolve it okay?" She tapped on my shoulder. "I would hate to see either of you go, or make things awkward in the chatroom."
"Okay Jaehee, thanks for the advice."
Saeyoung.
"Luciel, come out here," Zen was standing outside the bathroom stall that I was in. "Don't be ridiculous and don't make me make you come out."
"No, go away," I grunted.
"Seriously Luciel, you're even more stubborn than that trust fund kid. Can't you tell me what's going on?"
"I'm trying to take a shit here Zen, do you mind?"
Zen laughed. "Glad to see that the Luciel I know is still there."
"..."
"Did something happen between you and Hyorin?"
"No, I don't know what's up with that girl."
"Then why did you run away?"
Because if I had stayed there for a split second more, I would have broken down in tears. Because I couldn't stand to see her beautiful face so sad. Because if I had stayed there, I wouldn't have been able to control myself and would have taken her away to a faraway place and done unspeakable things to her.
"She made me uncomfortable," was all that I could manage to come up with.
"This is why Jaehee warned us against dating within the organization," Zen sighed. "Honestly, what is your deal? You should be honored that a girl like Hyorin even cares about your sorry ass. She's pretty, caring and a great person. You, on the other hand, speak the language of alien and generally cause everyone around you distress."
"Don't you think that I already knew that?"
"A ha! I knew you had feelings for Hyorin too!"
"Feelings? What are those?"
"Seven..."
"Beep beep. Does not. Compute. Feelings. Subject unknown. Error. Beep beep."
"I swear to fucking god Seven," Zen kicked down the stall door and dragged my sorry ass out. I didn't even try to fight back. "Go talk to Hyorin right now."
But before he managed to open the bathroom door, everything around me started to disappear. Zen's grasp on my arm loosened, and his voice faded away.
So you went and did it again. I tried so hard, yet your efforts are slowly breaking through. What could I have done differently? What could I possible do, to stop you from heading towards your own demise?
I opened my eyes to the darkness of the basement in my house. On my phone, RFA was bickering in the chatroom.
"Username Hyorin has entered the chatroom."