A/N Thanks for all the alerts and the reviews! Please continue to review! I'm really excited about where this story is headed so let me know what you think!
We pulled into the station a few minutes later and were escorted down to Lux's cell. She was huddled in a ball on the floor in the corner, her face buried in her knees. She looked up when she saw us approach and her face was blotchy, her eyes red. She had clearly been crying. She stood quickly as the guard opened the cell and allowed us in, before closing it behind us and walking back to his station.
Lux immediately fell into Clay's arms and sobbed while he stroked her hair, telling her everything was going to be okay, and they'd figure all of this out. Lux looked to me and did her best at a smile, and I did my best to return it.
"I'm sorry, Jess," she said.
"What for?" I asked.
"When they arrested me, I panicked. The only thing I could think of to say when Rosen finally came to talk to me was that I was with you," she said.
"So where were you last night, baby girl?" Clay asked, concern etched across his face. Lux stared at him, wide eyed, and shook her head.
"Lux, you've got to tell us what happened," I urged her, looking at Rosen for some help.
"We really need to know everywhere you were," Rosen said, "Someone could have seen you, and if it gets out that we were trying to hide something, it's not going to look good. If we really do have something to hide, I can work with that. But I need to know." Lux took a deep breath and sat down on the narrow bed on the other side of the cell. She put her head in her hands and took deep breaths, trying to calm herself.
"I was in church," she finally admitted. We all stood, staring at her, stunned.
"Church?" I repeated. She nodded.
"I was at the party last night, and I got into it with Luann. She wouldn't give me the next day off and I had barely spent any time with Tig lately and I was drunk and angry. So I started bitching about it with this Croweater. She'd done a couple rails and offered it to me, and I was just so pissed and out of it and…" her voice trailed off and she looked miserably into her hands. I looked over at Clay and was shocked to see how angry he was, standing there, his jaw line set, hands curled into fists. I looked back at Lux trying to figure this out.
"What, coke?" I asked, and she nodded, starting to cry some more.
"Lux!" Clay yelled, punching the wall and immediately regretting his decision. He winced and rubbed his knuckles, but the anger never left his face.
"I know, daddy, I'm sorry!" she wailed, "That's why I left the party. So I went to church to think about it."
"That shit almost ruined this family," Clay growled at her, the anger in his voice almost scary. I looked back and forth between them, slightly confused. I knew drugs were bad and everything, but these were guys that killed people.
"I know, dad, I know," Lux cried, pulling her knees back to her chest and hugging them, "I swear I'm not getting back into it. I regretted it as soon as I did it."
"You know everything we went through last time, Lux," Clay continued, clearly not listening to her, his voice rising with every word he spoke, "You worked so hard to get over your addiction. You can't just throw that away. I don't think this family could survive it if you went back down that road." Lux nodded, wiping her eyes.
"I won't dad, I swear I won't," she said, her shoulders sagging even more.
"Did anybody see you at the church?" Rosen finally spoke up. Lux and Clay both turned to look at him. It was apparent that they had forgotten they weren't alone. Lux finally shook her head.
"No," she said.
"Were you driving your own car?" he asked. She shook her head again.
"I walked," she mumbled, "I needed the fresh air." Rosen nodded again, pulling out a notepad to write down a few notes.
"Good, then as far as anyone else is concerned, you never left the clubhouse – do you understand? I'll work it with everyone back there and we'll come up with a good enough story for you to make your official statement before your bail hearing tomorrow," he told her. She nodded, rubbing her eyes again and avoiding looking at me. She'd never told me she had been a drug addict. Not once.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I finally asked her, needing the question answered. She continued to avoid my gaze.
"It's not something I'm exactly proud of," she mumbled and I nodded. I guess I wouldn't want everyone to know if it was me. But I also knew that sober or drunk Lux already had a bit of a crazy tendency. What was coked out Lux like? What was coked out Lux capable of?
I couldn't answer that question, and I hated myself for doubting my friend.
SOASOASOA
Back at the clubhouse, Rosen coached us on what to say when the cops showed up. As if right on cue, a few San Juaquin deputies pulled into the lot and I watched through the window as they made their way up to the front door. I walked over to Jax and he grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine before giving me a reassuring smile. I don't know what it was about being around Jax, but I felt like he could solve any problem. That everything would always be okay as long as he was around.
"Church as soon as these fuckers leave," Jax announced as he turned to the club members, his eyes narrowed. Gemma opened the front door, glaring at the deputies, but stepping aside as they walked in.
The deputies questioned each of us in turn, using the chapel to keep us separated. An hour later, realizing they weren't going to be getting anything off of us, they left and Jax called everyone to church. I grabbed two more beers from the bar and sat next to Gemma on the couch, handing her one. We sat in silence as I thought about Lux and what the hell I was going to do with all of Luann's stuff. I wasn't looking forward to stepping into her house, knowing she was gone, knowing that another parent had been ripped out from me. And then I thought of Otto. Of my father.
"Does Otto know?" I asked Gemma. She nodded.
"He knows," she responded.
"I need to go see him, talk to him," I told her. She nodded.
"I'll make sure it's worked out," she said. I could tell she was distracted. This had been a long and horrible day.
SOASOASOA
A week had passed since Lux's bail hearing and she was out but not completely free. She was required to wear an ankle monitor to make sure she didn't leave the country, but she could pretty much do as she pleased, which was mostly Tig every second of the day. Jax had been on a lot of short runs, I was assuming gathering intel on Zobelle but we didn't seem to be at a full disclosure level of our relationship yet. I thought I might prefer it that way. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Whatever he was doing, it didn't change the fact that I'd been by myself more often than not this past week. I knew he was getting back from his latest run sometime today and I sat in my room, trying to ignore the crazy animal monkey sounds coming from behind Lux's door until I couldn't take it anymore.
The assets I'd inherited from Luann had finally been unfrozen and I'd received the keys to her house. I'd been putting off going over there, but I figured now was as good a time as any. I didn't want to keep the house. It would all just be a sad reminder of what I'd lost. But I still needed to box it up, see what I could sell, see what I could donate, and talk to Otto about what he'd want me to keep. I knew the sons would help me, but I wanted to go over there first by myself. For some reason, I felt the place held answers for me. This was my father's house, too, after all – a connection I never thought I'd have.
The one possession of Luann's that I did decide to keep was her Mercedes Benz SL convertible. I knew she obviously wanted me to have it as she'd given it to me, but I still felt guilty every time I drove it. I didn't like the fact that I had benefitted from her death, but getting rid of the car wouldn't bring her back and it was way better than the beater I'd been driving.
I pulled up to Luann's and took a deep breath as I stepped out of the car, looking up at her house, preparing myself for entry. I suddenly wasn't so sure I could do this on my own and knew the only person I'd want with me was Jax. I quickly dialed his number and he answered on the first ring.
"You busy?" I asked.
"Never too busy for you, darlin," he responded and I felt my heart race as it often did when I was talking to Jax.
"Are you back?" I asked him.
"Just pulled in about 5 minutes ago," he responded.
"Will you do me a favor?" I asked, "Will you come meet me at Luann's? I thought I could come over here by myself and start going through some of her stuff, but I just don't think I can."
"Why do you need to go through Luann's stuff?" he asked. Shit. I'd forgotten I hadn't told him the small detail of Luann giving me upwards of 5 million dollars in cash and prizes.
"I'll explain when you get here, just come?" I asked.
"Be there in 5," and he hung up. I walked up to the front door, taking deep breaths as I stood in front of it. I fit the key in the lock and turned it slowly. I didn't know why I was so nervous. It was as if I felt her ghost was going to come flying through the door at any second. When no apparitions appeared, I entered the house and looked around.
It was a beautiful house. Two stories with a large open kitchen right off the living room. She'd decorated it beautifully. I took a second to explore every room in the house, finally coming to her bedroom. I took a deep breath and opened the door. The sight of her bed, still rumpled from the last time she slept in it, finally did it for me and I crumpled in a heap by her closet door, allowing myself a few minutes to cry and mourn the loss of a friend and the closest thing to a mother I'd ever known mother.
"Jess?" I heard Jax say as he opened the door to her room and saw me lying on the floor, sobbing. He rushed over to me and scooped me into his arms, holding me against him, letting me cry into his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and I pulled away, smiling meekly at him and wiping my eyes.
"Thanks for coming," I said and he nodded, kissing me softly on the lips.
"Of course, darlin," he responded. He held my face in his hands, gently wiping away my tears with his calloused hand. I leaned my cheek against his palm, wanting to stay with him like that forever. Knowing he'd always take care of me, always be there for me.
"Come on, let's get you home," he said, helping me stand and guiding me out of the house.
SOASOASOA
The next day, I sat on the couch in the living room watching TV when Lux walked in. It was the first time I'd seen her out of Tig's company since she'd been released. I knew she'd been avoiding me and in all honesty, I had been avoiding her a little, too. Which I knew was crappy – here was my best friend, the girl who had taken me under her wing, stood up for me, vouched for me, given me a place to live, from the second I moved to this town. And now she was out on bail on a murder rap with the possibility of going to jail for the rest of her life, and I couldn't bring myself to be there for her. I was a shitty person.
Lux sat in the chair next to me and stared blankly at the TV. Finally, she grabbed the remote off the coffee table and clicked it off. I turned to look at her, eyebrows raised.
"Do you have something to say to me?" she asked, the Morrow toughness in her coming out, steeling herself for a fight.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I retorted, grabbing a magazine off the table and starting to flick through it, anything to distract me from her. She grabbed it out of my hand and tossed it across the room.
"You've barely said two words to me since I was arrested," she said, her toughness disappearing and a pained expression crossing her face, "Why? Do you believe me? Do you believe I didn't do this?" I sighed, sitting up on the couch and looking at her.
"I want to Lux, I really do," I told her truthfully, "I want to believe that you had nothing to do with it, but I just … I just can't." Lux eyes narrowed.
"How could you think I'd kill Luann?" she asked.
"You were on drugs!" I told her, my voice rising, "How am I supposed to know what you're like when you're high?"
"Because you know me!" she yelled, rising to her feet, "You know me better than anyone, because everyone else knows me as the ex-junkie Lux. I've tried so hard for years to get past that, but everyone still uses it against me. I liked that you didn't know that part about my past, that you could never judge me based on that, only on me. And now that you know, you've decided that even though you know I would never do it, it's totally possible I could kill someone off of ONE line of coke." I stared at her for a second, absorbing the pain that stretched across her face.
"You're right," I sighed, standing up as well, "You're right, Lux. I'm sorry. I should have never suspected you at all. I'm sorry." Lux's eyebrows rose. I don't think she thought I'd come around that easily. But everything she said was true. I knew there was no way she could have killed Luann, no matter what she was on. She was my friend, and this was the time for me to support her.
"I need you to be here for me right now, Jess, I'm freaking out," she admitted, "Zobelle has done a hell of a job setting me up and if the club doesn't find a way to prove I didn't do it within the next month before my trial, they have enough evidence to put me away. Forever." Her eyes started welling up with tears, "I need to know you're on my side."
I nodded and pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm on your side, sweetie," I told her, "Of course I'm on your side." She held me tightly until Tig walked in whistling. I immediately let go and turned to look at Tig, who looked sorely disappointed, holding up his phone with the camera facing us.
"You didn't give me time to get a picture," he whined. Lux slapped him upside the head and I laughed, glad things were starting to get back to normal. Except, of course, for Lux's ankle monitor and impending trial that would determine the rest of her life, but I tried not to think about that.
SOASOASOA
That afternoon, Aunt Rose called and invited me to dinner. It had been weeks since I'd seen her and I'd felt really guilt about it, but so much had happened that I hadn't been able to make the time. I also didn't want her to lay into me how worried she was, but I sucked it up and accepted the invitation.
She'd made a pot roast with some potatoes and vegetables and we sat down at her small dining room table to eat.
"I'm sorry about Luann," she said as she sat a plate in front of me and took her own seat. I gave her a small smile but didn't respond, "I've been so worried ever since I heard. You need to call your aunt more often, you know." I nodded.
"I know, I'm sorry," I said. She shook her head.
"That's okay," she responded, "Now tell me what's been going on in your life." I told her all about Jax and me getting together after Tara split. She pursed her lips at the information, but didn't say anything. I debated telling her about the inheritance and decided I needed someone to talk about it. So far it had been the huge secret that I hadn't mentioned to anyone.
"Luann left me everything she owns," I told her, and Aunt Rose dropped her fork.
"Everything?" she said, aghast, "Honey, she's gotta be worth millions with that club of hers."
"5 million, to be exact," I said, sighing, "I have no idea what to do with it all. I know the club will want me to rebuild Cara Cara, but with everything that's happened, I don't know if I can st– I just don't know what to do." I faltered before expressing the one thing that had been on my mind since Rosen told me I was now a millionaire – do I use it to get the hell out of Charming and away from all the danger being close to SAMCRO brought?
Aunt Rose looked at me thoughtfully and finally spoke.
"I'm not going to lie," she said, "I was worried when I knew you were getting involved with SAMCRO. I've been there before, not as deep as you – Daisy was the one hanging around the club all the time, I just tagged along every once in a while. But that club is trouble – no doubt about it. I have a lot of respect for them and what they've done for Charming, but I'm not going to say I'm happy you're getting involved with them. And dating the president – that just puts a target on your back right there. I'd sleep a lot better knowing you were somewhere safe, but I sure would miss the hell out of you if you left," she looked pointedly at me, "Not that I see much of you as it is." I grinned, shaking my head.
"I know, I know. And thanks. I've got a lot of thinking to do," I said, sighing.
SOASOASOA
The next day, Gemma had finally let me know she had pulled some strings and got me a meeting with my dad. Jax had offered to come with me, but I really needed to talk to him alone. I'd only ever talked to him once and I wanted to get as much out of these visits as I could. Plus, I had a lot I needed to talk to Otto about, and Jax didn't know about my inheritance yet. I wasn't sure I really wanted to tell him just yet.
I walked into the visiting area to see Otto sitting behind a table. He stood when I walked in and embraced me like I was the daughter he never knew he had. I stayed like that, feeling the warmth and love from a parent, a feeling I never thought I'd have the joy of knowing, until a guard separated us and we took our seats across from one another at the table.
"Otto, I'm so sorry-" I began, but was cut off by him holding up a hand.
"Don't, baby girl," he said, "I was devastated by Luann, and I'm even sorrier you didn't get more of a chance to know her. But don't you be sorry for me." I nodded and took a deep breath.
"Luann left me everything," I said, "Did you know?" He nodded.
"We worked it out together," he said, "She agreed that since you're my blood, that makes you her family, the only family she's got. She didn't want everything going to anybody else."
"I don't know what to do with it all," I admitted, "The insurance money, everything. I wanted to ask you what you want me to do with it. Should I rebuild Cara Cara?" I looked pleadingly at him and he just shook his head. I just wanted someone to tell me what to do.
"Baby girl, you do whatever you think will make you happy," he responded, "You've lived a hard life, and had I known you were out there in this world that would not have been the case. But what is, is and we can't change it. What I can do for you is make sure the rest of your life is better, and I'm glad I have the opportunity to do even that, even behind these bars. I want you to take that money and do whatever you want with it. I know the club will want you to rebuild Cara Cara, they're part owners and they'll get about a third of the insurance money, but they won't be able to rebuild it alone and they'd need to find some other way to earn legitimate to launder their gun money through. They can't be livin large while the auto-repair shop is the only thing they got goin for them on paper. But if you're asking me to tell you to rebuild, I'm not going to. I want you to do what's right for you. It's the least I can do for you."
"I'm not sure I want to rebuild," I confessed, "But I have no idea what I'd do with the money if I didn't."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," he said. I nodded.
"I need to go through Luann's stuff," I told him, "Is there anything in there you want me to keep? I'm not sure what to do with it all, and it really makes me sad going through it. I'd rather just box it all up and donate it, but if there're some important things in there, I want to make sure I keep it." Otto nodded.
"I'll send you a list, how's that?" he said. I nodded and then he asked, "How are you and Jax?" I felt myself blush deeply and grinned.
"How'd you know?" I asked.
"A father always knows," he said, and winked.
"We're good," I said, "Great, really." Otto smiled back at me.
"He's a good man," he said, "When he's got his head on straight and not thinking with his dick." I laughed and nodded and much more quickly than I would have liked, our time was up.
I started the drive back to Charming, my mind filled with thoughts I didn't know what to do with. I certainly didn't want to hurt the club, but with all of this money, I would be set for life. I could go anywhere I wanted. In the short time I'd been involved with the Sons of Anarchy, I'd already been shot in my own home and a dear friend had been murdered. Was this the life I wanted for myself? And then I thought about Jax. Would he leave with me? And if not, was he reason enough to stay?
There was only one person I knew that I could really talk to about the decision to leave or stay that wouldn't just try to talk me into staying. That could give me insight into what to expect if I did stay, and what it was like to leave. I immediately exited the freeway and turned around, in the direction of Santa Barbara. I called Lux to let her know I wouldn't be home tonight and asked her to tell Jax for me, and subsequently turned my phone off. I knew he'd be pissed at not knowing where I was, but this was something I had to do now, or I never would, and I definitely didn't want him to know where I was going.