Telling Terra- Part Two

M. Tsukai again. My first version of this got stuck on a Floppy that apparently went over its limit (1.44 MB), and thus cannot be opened. If anyone knows how to fix that...I'd be so grateful... Anyway, on to the story. I needed to thank and for reviewing for me. Remember, folks, I do not (I repeat, not) own Teen Titans, though I do retain Sophia and ideas concerning her. Not like that's important. But just so you know... Slight CyRae and RaeBB ( I've never been able to picture a couple in TT, though RobStar is pretty adorable). You flame, I'll use them to keep me warm here up North

She was in my room.

I don't think anyone could possibly understand the emotions swirling like a vortex in my mind.

Everyone had known I was gone- that it in no way translated into "Let's go snoop in Raven's sanctum"

But she was waiting, her blond hair swept up into a ponytail, her grey eyes illuminating the not-so-invisible silence.

Like she knew I'd be back.

Sophia.

She didn't flinch from my gaze, even when I turned up the heat with an old Azar glare. It's something I know well, I'd be treated to a few of them when I was young. Younger.

Nothing. No reaction, just a blank, no, make that empty expression that was very familiar.

Beast Boy. Silly sad boy lost without his girl. I bite my tongue.

"Terra"

"I felt like...we needed to talk."

I nodded and took a mental inventory of my room. Aside for my bed, my privacy had not been violated. Good for you, Terra. Because if you had...

"I'm hungry. I'll eat" I looked from my room to her eyes. "Then we'll talk". I turn and slip from my room, stretching my powers to drag her along.

She does not resist. I come into the common room, greeted with the typical scenario in this instance: Victor and BB are fixed on the TV screen, racing cars. Star and Robin, well...they presumed no one was focused on them...they were engaged in a rather amusing session discussing...oh, how shall I put this...Star's questions about reproduction. 'Nuff said. Their reaction was typical as well: seeing me, everyone stared at me while attempting to look concerned. Garfield's eyes darkened when he saw who was behind me.

"I told you not to go in there."

"Don't talk to me, Garfield." Terra's eyes, blazing gold, found everywhere in the world to focus instead of Beast Boy.

He never could take a hint, and no one was surprised when he kept on the near-accustory banter.

Everyone was surprised when Beast Boy flew face-first into the television. Stupid boy, insisting on that stone chair as a token of reconciliation.

Not a good time for conversation, I muse, as I pick up an apple from the fruit basket and phase through the walls, drawing her with me. For her protection...and his.

We find seats on the roof, a place I'd officially designated as mine once she left. I bit into my apple and waited.

"You cannot believe that I am back."

"Nor can I believe that you broke this curse yourself. That creature...Sophia...what is it?"

When Terra is nervous she pulls a stone from her pocket and rubs it. She does. I wait.

"I'm not really sure. I don't know why she cared."

"Doesn't matter, I guess." Pause. Eventually she would have to know.

"I'm sorry, Raven."

"I didn't want you back here, you know." I remove the hood of my cloak, turn from the sky to her face. I don't know why she always looks as though we should be pained by her decisions, as if her actions changed the course of our Fates. I had peered, for a moment when I gazed into Malchoir's eyes, into a future. Of Beast Boy and the others so happy...and I am no longer there...and Terra has all but moved into my room and rearranged everything. He did not speak the truth.

He was a liar from the beginning. And I was alone.

"Is it because of Beast Boy...?"

"Garfield," my voice tight in anger, "has nothing to do with this."

It should be easy, should it not, to simply admit that I could have made a difference. That she did not have to suffer in the silence of her own sins, not when she had waged her war against him. And won.

Garfield remains at the outskirts of my mind, for his is a mind that is painfully young and unnurtured. The others, in various degrees were mutating, absorbing knowledge and refining their thoughts. Not so with him. I had gravitated to him-because he was the only one who wasn't self-sufficient. She hadn't been there when he'd gone rogue, I had held him many nights, holding his tears like diamonds close to my heart in the midst of some half-remembered nightmare. I had loved him,damn it-in my own way, the way a woman loves a man-child's futile grasp for maturity. There had been something there-me supporting him, and he in his own awkward way, trying to do the same. And he chose her. Over and over and over.

"It was easier without you. You made him worry. And you made Robin nervous. And you made Cy trust you. And...Star..." somewhere between my own feelings and the rational conversation I was having with my emotions, the dam broke. I don't cry. I can't.

Her arms encircle me, and my first thought could easily send our numbers back down to five. But who else should see these tears? Who else deserved to?

"I knew how to rescue you."

I whisper. She freezes. And somewhere I feel the link I'd forged between us snapping. She is no longer the comforter.

"Maybe I deserve that." Her eyes are trained on the ground. I blink, desperate to reassert control. Because there is a bastion for me. And because it was time to turn over my duties to her.

"He needs you."

Her gold eyes stare me down. Behind me, and us all was a boulder. She hadn't moved, her facial features remained as blank as they had became the moment I admitted my guilt.

"I will leave and never come back, " she warns, turning her back on me. "I will not continually be subjected to guilt imposed by others."

Where were the meddling demi-angels when you needed them? My wisdom could only take me so far.

There is one source of peace open to me.

I close my eyes and embrace the wind.

The calming aura of the sea and the silence of the world around me-punctuated only by breathing-brought not only a disassociation from the situation but also a sense of purpose. My own bastion kept me, the thing I focused on most when I was losing me. Before Terra had ever even come into my life, there was someone I could turn to, who was strong enough not to require any strength from me (though he cherished it just the same).

Victor