Chemistry
"Do you have to wear that hat all the time?" Rachel asked, the sharp tone of her voice making the question sound like an accusation.
"What's wrong with my hat?" Dipper asked mildly, but with a slight hint of nervousness.
"You wear it every single day – don't you at least have a different hat to wear?" she asked.
"It's my lucky hat… anyway I think it makes me look distinctive." Dipper said defensively.
"It makes you look like a fucking cartoon character, wearing the same thing every day." Rachel sniffed, her voice heavy with condescension.
Dipper's brows furrowed into a scowl and he looked like he was going to snap back at her, but he stopped short. He sighed and slipped the faded blue cap off his head, tossing it onto the couch just out of her reach.
"Better?" he asks, his voice strained but friendly.
"It's a good start," she replied with a too-bright smile, reaching her well-manicured hand out to ruffle his hair.
He's not a dog, Mabel thought grouchily as she saw the scene play out from her seat at the dining room table, her math book open in front of her and untouched.
Its not like Mabel was trying to spy on them or anything… its just that they always ended up hanging out in the living room couch right across from the table where she'd always done her homework.
Also Rachel is so loud that they might as well be arguing right in the seat next to me, Mabel griped to herself again. The fact that she could have simply gotten up and done her work in her room had probably occurred to her at some point, but some subconscious quirk had kept her from ever seriously considering the idea. Like heck she was changing her life just because Dipper's irritating girlfriend was around.
Mabel turned her eyes back to the text book again, trying to memorize the notes about functions but her concentration was interrupted yet again by Rachel's slightly shrill voice as she laughed at the television. She was leaning against Dipper's chest and snorting out obnoxiously at some reality show while her boyfriend looked on with a look of utter boredom on his face.
"So are we actually going to do any studying today or what?" Dipper asked, glancing back toward his discarded hat with a slight look of yearning, "The test is coming up at the end of the week and we're still a bit behind."
"I guess yeah," Rachel sighed in an annoyed tone of voice, reaching out with the remote to snap off the television.
Mabel groaned inwardly when the pair moved to join her at the table, cracking open their own textbooks.
Mercifully, Rachel had to go home earlier than usual that afternoon for some reason or another. Mabel felt only the tiniest bit of guilt at how glad she was about that – and even then only because Dipper had looked a little disappointed when Rachel gave him a perfunctory peck on the lips and then slouched off toward her car without a second glance back. He shut the front door with a sigh and went back to the dining room, pausing briefly in the living room to grab his hat and settle it firmly back on his head. He took his usual place at the table next to Mabel and glanced back down disinterestedly at his own text book.
"You doing alright there bro-bro? I mean, she just went home not off to fight in a war or something. You'll see her again tomorrow." Mabel said in a comforting tone of voice.
Unfortunately, she thought to herself in a private corner of her mind.
"Eh, its not that – I'm just kinda bummed about other things." Dipper said.
"Anything I could help with?" Mabel asked.
Dipper glanced up at her with a look of indecision.
"Well… I don't know, I'd feel kind of weird asking you for advice on this particular problem."
Mabel's face scrunched up in barely concealed uneasiness.
"This isn't a… um…" she wordlessly made a circle with her forefinger and thumb and then thrust the forefinger of her other hand through it, "sort of problem is it?"
"What?" he asked, briefly uncomprehending before the meaning of her lewd hand gesture dawned on him, "Oh, no! God no… no this is more of an emotional or behavioral kind of thing I guess… I mean, we haven't done anything like that yet."
"Oh thank god," Mabel said with a relieved sigh, "I mean, not that I don't want to be there for you bro but yeah…"
"Agreed." Dipper said quickly, reddening slightly at the ears.
"So, since we've firmly established that the problem isn't in the old 'where do babies come from' territory feel free to lay it on me, I'm awesome at advice." Mabel said cheerfully.
Dippers face once again took on a look of indecision, but after a few seconds of hesitation he gave himself a nod and turned back to Mabel.
"Well… I don't know, its about my relationship with Rachel. I'm not sure if it's going so great and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong." Dipper said.
Dating Rachel for one thing, Mabel thought to herself.
"Well, I'm not really sure that any of the problems come from you exactly," Mabel said as diplomatically as possible.
"I don't know, that's how it feels… I mean, she always seems pissed off at me about something and when we hang out things get kind of awkward sometimes… I just think maybe I'm screwing up somehow and not seeing where." Dipper said slightly nervously.
Mabel frowned slightly at the look on her brothers face.
"Have you ever considered the possibility it might be that she is the one with the problem?" she asked.
"What? No, Rachel's great… I mean she's… really strong willed and… um… she's pretty smart too." Dipper said.
"So is Waddles but that doesn't make him great boyfriend material." Mabel joked.
"Did you just compare my girlfriend to your pig?" Dipper said in an annoyed tone of voice.
"No, I was just pointing out that just because someone has good qualities doesn't make them a great romantic partner. Trust me, I've dated enough guys to know this for a fact." Mabel said firmly.
"I still think that this is probably something on my end… I mean, I've got almost no experience with this stuff," Dipper replied.
"Dipper, I've seen you guys together every day for a month – trust me, its her. Honestly I have no idea why you even wanted to go out with her in the first place." Mabel said firmly.
"What? Why wouldn't I?" Dipper asked.
"Because she's everything you hated about Pacifica rolled up with an annoying laugh and zero interest in your crazy conspiracy stuff. Seriously, I've seen better chemistry in English class." Mabel said.
"We have chemistry – I mean, we've kissed and stuff plenty of times!" Dipper objected.
"Please, I've seen what you guys call kissing – she doesn't kiss you like she means it." Mabel said hotly.
"What does that even mean?" Dipper said angrily.
Something snapped suddenly in Mabel's brain and before her rational mind could put up an objection she found herself grabbing Dipper by the front of his shirt and pulling his face roughly toward hers and jamming her mouth against his. The moment was probably only a few seconds but seemed to stretch on for much longer as her lips melted hotly with his, her teeth nipping lightly at his lower lip as her hands slipped up along his neck and tangled in his hair, knocking his cap off once again. She could feel his body stiffen in shock against hers before it suddenly grew loose and she felt his own hands tentatively reach out and run up and down her back, his own lips starting to kiss her back with energy.
She pushed him back suddenly onto his chair, her face red as a sunset and her breathing hard and unsteady.
Crap, what did I just do?
"THAT is how you kiss someone when you mean it." she said, a slight tremor in her voice and her eyes growing hot and wet.
Wordlessly, she quickly scooted her chair out from under the table and dashed off toward her room, slamming the door shut and locking it.
Dipper sat stunned at the table, staring at nothing in particular. He wasn't really sure what to say, but he certainly had a lot to think about at this moment… particularly on the subject of chemistry.