An hour later Kenzie stepped through the door of Tool's Tattoos and smiled as he called out, "Hey, sweet thing!" from the drafting table he was sketching at.

"Hey, Tool." She called back, walking over to him. After Gunner had left, Kenzie had showered and dressed, pulling on the plaid button down shirt he'd been wearing the night before over her black muscle shirt, to keep his scent close to her all day, and left. Her apprenticeship with Tool was almost over and she had a few solo appointments scheduled today.

Tool watched her as she approached, and, when she reached the table, said somberly, "it gets harder every time, doesn't it?"

Kenzie started slightly, remembering that Tool was a hell of a lot smarter and perceptive then he ever let on. In that respect, he was like Gunner; both of them hiding parts of themselves behind false facades and other's uncorrected assumptions, revealing their true selves only to a select few. Barney, in fact, was the only one of the Expendables who really truly knew Tool, despite the years the entire team had been together. Although Gunner and Kenzie had immediately bonded to each other, Kenzie still found herself occasionally unable to reconcile in her mind the man Gunner was with the team; a slightly bumbling, unpredictable and warped fallen genius with a stone cold ability to kill and maim; and the man he was with her, a tender romantic with a talent for cuddling, who would sing old songs to her in goofy, exaggerated voices to make her giggle and never missed a chance to snuggle with her and show her in a thousand little ways how much he loved her. Kenzie was constantly amazed at the absolute trust Gunner showed in her so quickly by revealing this hidden side, a side his own brothers had never seen. The look on the Expendable's faces the first time Gunner had stepped up behind Kenzie at Tool's, wrapped his massive arms around her and nuzzled his face into her neck with a contented purr had been priceless.

"Yeah," Kenzie agreed quietly. Dropping her backpack on a nearby stool, Kenzie took a deep breath and met Tool's gaze with a steadiness that didn't reach her soul. "How have you managed all these years?"

Tool gave a rueful grin and spread his arms, gesturing to all the controlled chaos around him; the tattoo flash scattered on the walls, the women's names on the steps, the array of liquor bottles and the stereo currently set on Rob Zombie, blasting somewhat quietly in the background. "You learn to get by." He said simply. "And a piece of your heart goes with them every time."

Suddenly close to tears, Kenzie hurriedly cleared her throat and looked away.

Five days later, the call came. Gunner's voice was gruff and to the point. Caesar had been shot and was near death. The mission had been a failure. They were on their way back.

Kenzie dropped the DIY chandelier she'd been working on and gathered her medics bag. She'd been taking courses, to better be able to help when the team returned with injuries and had traded a sleeve tattoo with a med student in exchange for detailed suturing instruction. If needed, Kenzie was a fucking tailor with a suture needle.

Minutes later, she pulled up to the hanger and hurried inside. Tool was already there, lining up medical supplies on a table. Glancing over his shoulder, he gave her a half-smile.

"You heard?"

"Gunner called me."

"Just got the call from Barney myself a few minutes ago, was just about to get ahold of you."

Kenzie strode over to the table and began unpacking her bag.

"When they land Barney, Doc and I are taking Caesar to Paul, can you handle it here by yourself?"

Kenzie nodded, carefully lining up some gauze rolls. "Is it bad?"

"Yeah."

"How far away?"

Tool glanced at his watch. "Another couple of hours."

Kenzie dozed lightly on a couch against the hanger wall, Tool sat nearby, quietly smoking and staring into space. It had been awhile since the Expendables had lost one of their own, and Tool prayed to whatever cared to listen that that streak remained unbroken. He glanced over at Kenzie and gave a faint smile. How and why she'd ever chosen Gunner was a complete mystery to him, but they were fucking amazing together; a surprise that the team would still shake their heads over, a topic still brought up over beer at Tool's after the new couple had retired early with wicked smiles to the team and googly-eyes to each other. Tool sighed and leaned back, not looking forward to the next few hours and days.

The plane sounded overhead, and Tool leaned over and nudged Kenzie. She sat up quickly, blinking and, catching the drone of the plane as well, scrubbed at her eyes and shook her head to clear it.

The plane landed, rolled to a stop at the hanger. The team appeared, carrying Caesar laid out on a stretcher and Barney, Tool and a man Kenzie realized was 'Dr. Death' hurriedly bundled him into Tool's van, roaring away a moment later. The remaining Expendables watched the van disappear, then turned and slowly shuffled into the hanger.

Kenzie grabbed the nearest man, her brother Lee, and guided him over to the table. She pushed him down onto the stool she'd set up beside it and grabbed some alcohol soaked gauze.

Gunner hung back, letting Lee and then Toll get treated by Kenzie, finally standing and hobbling over after Toll stood with a groan and joined Lee on the couch, leaning back and closing his eyes.

Gunner settled on the stool, met Kenzie's gaze briefly before dropping his eyes again. He looked exhausted, dried blood crusted around his ears. Touching his shoulder gently, Kenzie asked quietly. "Any place hurt more than any other?"

Gunner shook his head and mumbled. "Just cuts and bruises."

Nodding, Kenzie set to work, gently dabbing away at the crusty blood darkening Gunner's skin. He hissed at the sting, but subsided and closed his eyes. After a long moment, his hands came up and softly rested on Kenzie's hips. Slowly, he leaned forward and rested his head against Kenzie's shoulder, sighing almost inaudibly.

Later, Kenzie led Gunner by the hand into her house. They'd unloaded the essentials from the plane and locked up the hanger. After a quick shower the remaining Expendables and Kenzie had gone to the hospital, seen Caesar lying motionless and Barney looking like hell and after awhile, had left.

Kenzie had promised Gunner supper and a massage, as it was past dark now, but as soon as Kenzie shut the door, Gunner took her in his arms and whispered tiredly in her ear, "let's just go to bed, babe, I'm fuckin' whipped."

"Okay, go ahead, I'll lock up." Gunner nodded and turned, climbing the stairs like he'd aged twenty years.

Kenzie followed after circling the house, checking doors and windows and turning off lights. Gunner had managed to remove everything but his jeans, and lay half-asleep on the bed. Kenzie joined him a few minutes later, clad in boxers and a muscle shirt. As soon as she lay down Gunner pulled her towards him, moulding against her with a sigh and almost instantly relaxed into sleep.

Gunner's ringtone woke them both the next morning. With a groan Gunner reached over before Crazy Frog's "I Like to Move it" could start over, rolling his eyes at Kenzie; she'd been monkeying with his phone before he'd left and Gunner hadn't changed it back yet. Kenzie grinned back and rolled out of bed, wandering into the bathroom. When she emerged, Gunner was standing at the window, looking out. He turned and gave Kenzie a half-smile.

"Gotta go, Barney wants to meet us down at Rusty's right away."

"You want breakfast first?" Kenzie asked, moving to his side and leaning against him. Gunner rested an arm around her shoulders for a moment then moved away. "No thanks, Barney wants us down there right away, it almost lunch time already anyway." He leaned down and gave Kenzie a soft kiss. "I'll see you later."

Gunner came back a few hours later, as Kenzie was working on the chandelier she'd abandoned the day before. Kenzie glanced up at him and did a double take. He looked like he'd been kicked in the gut. Kenzie dropped the chandelier, ignoring the tinkle of broken glass and hurried up to him.

"Gun? What's wrong? Is it Caesar?"

Gunner shook his head numbly, then muttered. "It's Barney, he shut down the team."

"What? He shut down the Expendables?"

"Yeah, told us to get out while we could, that we're done, the past." Gunner looked away.

Kenzie was silent a moment, stunned. "Jesus, baby. I'm sorry...what can I do?"

Gunner sighed a deep breath. "Can we just..." he seemed reluctant, "can we just fuckin' break something? I don't want to think right now."

"Yeah, yeah, babe. Uh, I was waiting until you guys were rested up, but I was thinking of taking out this wall." Still reeling from Gunner's news Kenzie pointed at the nearby wall, it blocked most of the dining room and was in the way of Kenzie's open floor plan. She wasn't really prepared to take it down yet, but Gunner's revelation and following request had jolted her into action.

"Perfect." Gunner mumbled, stalking over to the back bedroom, hijacked at the moment for renovation storage. He emerged seconds later with two pairs of gloves and safety goggles, two sledgehammers on one shoulder. Handing Kenzie some gloves and glasses, he popped the two hammers off his shoulder with a quick movement, catching them deftly before they hit the floor and set the smaller one against Kenzie's leg. Fitting the glasses and gloves on and without another word to Kenzie, Gunner heaved up the larger hammer and turned to the wall.

Kenzie watched silently as Gunner began to demolish the wall. He swung the hammer soundlessly, with awesome power behind each swing. After a minute he stopped and pulled off his shirt, throwing it carelessly away. Kenzie swallowed hard. Fuck but he was beautiful. All hard muscles and velvet skin, glistening with a light sheen of sweat...as he rotated with a swing Kenzie caught sight of that amazing V of abs disappearing into his low slung jeans. Despite herself and despite the situation, Kenzie started to get hot.

Gunner finally seemed to notice that Kenzie had not joined him and turned around with a questioning look. Instantly lust stirred in his eyes as he saw the heated way Kenzie was staring at him. Dropping the hammer and yanking off his gloves and glasses, Gunner tossed them away as he stalked towards Kenzie, a predatory gleam in his ice blue eyes. Grabbing the back of Kenzie's hair, he slanted his lips roughly over hers, backing her up against the kitchen counter. Kenzie responded urgently, curling her fingers into his chest, crazily, inexplicably turned on. Gunner's free hand snaked downwards, pulling at Kenzie's zipper, turning her around. Pushing Kenzie's head down, bending her over the counter, Gunner yanked her jeans down with his free and and fumbled at his jeans.

Kenzie cried out as Gunner, without warning, slammed inside of her, burying himself to the hilt. Pulling almost completely out, Gunner thrust forward again, his fingers digging into the back of Kenzie's head. He started thrusting violently, teeth gritted, trying to lose himself in sensation, desperate to feel something other than misery. Kenzie's hot excitement gave way to pain as Gunner's heavy thrusts slammed the front of her thighs against the countertop edge.

"Ow, Gunner...Gunner, stop." She tried to say, but Gunner, lost now, pressed her face roughly against the counter, his fingers tangled in her hair. With a heavy groan, Gunner slammed against Kenzie once more, emptying himself inside her and collapsing over her with a hot exhalation. Breathing heavily, Gunner stood back up, uncurling his fingers from her hair. Kenzie lay still against the counter, a little too shaky to stand just yet. What just happened? She wondered, slightly dazed.

Gunner stepped back, still panting and Kenzie straightened slowly, resting her hands on the counter.

"Fuck." Gunner growled, but instead of the passion and lust that usually accompanied this word when he was around Kenzie, he sounded angry. Kenzie turned to look at him, caught sight of Gunner's pale, horrified face. Looking shocked, Gunner hurriedly turned away from Kenzie and she heard him mutter 'you fucking monster' under his breath.

"Gunner?" She called after him, but he'd already disappeared out the door, his bike firing up and roaring away.

After a few deep breaths, Kenzie stumbled upstairs to shower. Emerging a long while later, feeling much more collected and relaxed, she examined the red marks on the front of her thighs, where the countertop had hit her. They were tender, but not really sore. She and Gunner sometimes got a little rough in bed, and Kenzie liked it that way, liked it when Gunner's caveman came out to play, but this was the first time she'd felt actual pain. Gunner's reaction once he'd realized what he'd done confirmed what Kenzie already knew, that he hadn't meant to hurt her, had lost himself for just a moment. The look of horror on his face was what Kenzie remembered now, not the hard fingers curled in her hair, the counter pressing against her.

Hurrying back downstairs, Kenzie found her cell. Gunner? Are you okay? Please come back. She texted. I'm fine, I'm not hurt, don't worry. She set the phone down, but picked it up again after a minute and phoned Gunner instead. It rang a few times and went to voicemail. Kenzie hung up and texted again. Gunner, don't do anything rash. I'm fine. Please come home. There was no reply. Kenzie considered jumping in her Land Cruiser and looking for him, but stopped. Sometimes he just needed to be by himself, and Kenzie didn't want to push him right now. Hopefully, he would read her texts and come back soon...

Gunner, I'm making supper for us, please come over. Please stay over. If you need to hear this, I forgive you.

Kenzie barbecued steaks and baked potatoes, waiting for Gunner, but he didn't come back for supper. Kenzie sat on the couch, turned on the TV to soothe her nerves, if Gunner didn't answer her within the next hour, she was calling up Lee and going looking for him. Maybe she'd already waited too long. Jittery, she changed the channel and was suddenly baffled by the dizzying cartoons of Pink Floyd's The Wall. Forcing herself to relax, she pulled her drafting board onto her lap and began to sketch tattoo ideas based on the mind trip in front of her. A knock came at the door.

Frowning, Kenzie looked over. Who's that? She wondered. Gunner had a key, and even if he didn't, he knew where the spare was hidden, for that matter, all the Expendables did, and all knew that they didn't need to knock. Setting the board aside, Kenzie moved quietly to the entrance, reached out and turned on the porch light. The light immediately illuminated a giant of a man, slouched forwards, his blond hair hanging over his eyes. Kenzie sighed in relief and hurried to the door.

"Gun! Are you alright?" Kenzie asked breathlessly as she pulled the door open.

"Am I alright?" Gunner echoed disbelievingly. Raising his head, he fixed Kenzie with a haunted gaze. "I'm so sorry, baby...how are you? I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I'm so-"

Kenzie stepped forward, wrapped her arms tightly around Gunner and buried her face in his throat. He smelled sharply of gunpowder and Kenzie realized he'd been at the gun range. Shuddering, she fought not to cry, and realized with a start that Gunner was too. She pulled back, looking up at him and used a gentle hand to brush his tears away.

"I'm fine, you didn't hurt me."

"But-"

"Damn you, Gunner, I said I'm fine." Kenzie grinned to lighten her words and, gently cupping his cheeks, leaned up, pressing her lips to his. Gunner hesitated, then slowly reciprocated, his lips responding, his body relaxing.

Kenzie pulled back and smiled at him. "Come on, it's freezing out here." Taking Gunner's hand she pulled him into the house, into the living room and onto the couch. Grabbing a blanket, she pulled it around his shoulders and straddled his lap, snuggling up against his chest with a happy little huff. After a moment, Gunner relaxed with a sigh and wrapped his arms around Kenzie, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I love you, baby...I'll never hurt you again." He murmured into her hair.

Kenzie snuggled closer. "I love you, too. I know you won't...tomorrow we'll go see Caesar, maybe have the boys over for supper."

Gunner gave a contented little hum in response. "Sounds good, baby."

"We'll get through this." Kenzie whispered.

A/N: This chapter may have had a little darker Gunner than you're used to from me...let me know what you thought and stay tuned! :)