Chapter 2: Mafia Men

Rumours had spread the instant I came to school the next day. Somehow, people managed to find out I had accidentally ruined Hibari Kyoya's lunch, and the fact I was walking to school without a single bruise on my body or a limp in my walk made everyone talk.

"How did he do it?"

"That's Mitarashi Ari-kun, right? That second-year?"

"How on earth did he manage to get away from Hibari Kyoya?"

"Maybe he sold his soul…"

I shivered when I heard that. Boy, did they have no idea.

I saw a tuft of fluffy brown hair in the crowds of students heading to the school building, which I soon found out belonged to Sawada Tsunayoshi.

"Ah, Tsuna!" I called out as cheerfully as I could. Tsuna turned to me and his eyes grew wide with relief.

"Ari-kun! Oh, thank god, you're alive!" He called out breathlessly. I felt myself choke slightly at the back of my throat. Tsuna was so cute, like a little bunny rabbit.

I forced my girl hormones back down to wherever they're from (I don't really pay attention in health class…oh, no, wait, hormones are in the brain, aren't they? Ah, shit). If I started to squeal and treat Tsuna like the little shota-boy he is, people would definitely start thinking I'm gay. Or a pedophile. But whatever.

"It's alright, I'm perfectly fine!" I smiled, gesturing to myself.

"Che, how did you manage to survive?" Gokudera said incredulously.

"I made a deal with the devil," I answered smoothly. Everyone flinched at my words, even Yamamoto, but that may have just been because dust got into his eye or something. Yamamoto doesn't seem scared of anyone, even Hibari.

"W-what do you have to do for him, Ari-kun?" Tsuna asked, his eyes going all wide and scared and shota-like.

"I'm his assistant," and slave, but I decided not to put that last part. "I have to report anyone who breaks the rules to him, and do paperwork for him, that kind of stuff."

Tsuna seemed to relax slightly. "O-oh, that's good…not as bad as I was expecting…"

"Yeah, me too." I said honestly. "Yesterday, all I had to do was rewrite some paperwork because he doesn't like his subordinates' handwriting or something. I had to copy down page after page of the different people he's bitten to death for, what, two hours? It was horrible -"

"Classes are starting in two minutes," came a dark voice from behind us. Everybody within a thirty-foot radius stiffened, glanced at the demon standing behind me, and scattered. Within seconds, the school grounds were deserted.

"If you are late for class, I will bite you to death." Hibari said to Tsuna and his friends.

"H-hiiieee! Y-yes, Hibari-san!" Tsuna quickly rushed into the school, shooting me a worried glance. Gokudera and Yamamoto tagged along behind him.

Hibari turned to fix his dark, evil glare on me. I felt myself subconsciously straighten up. "Y-yes, Hibari-san?"

"Go to class. You may be my assistant, but I will not tolerate you getting relaxed over the rules. I expect you to find rule-breaking herbivores and report them to me, understand?"

I nodded my head vigorously. "Yup, sure thing. Understood 100%, A-okay!"

Hibari narrowed his eyes at me, shutting me up with just a glare. "Go to class."

"Ah, r-right!" I bowed quickly. "See you later, Hibari-san!" Then I rushed into the building.

God dammit, that guy scares the shit out of me!

Whispers immediately started up the second I was inside the classroom. Honestly, how many rumours can they make up?

I actually wondered if they considered making up a rumour about me being his sex slave or something. Then I remembered that I dressed up as a guy, and that would be impossible (unless some yaoi fangirl started it or something).

"Hey, Mitarashi, how did you manage to escape punishment?" Some obnoxious boy called out from the middle row. "Are you Hibari's slave or something?" This brought out snickers from the unsympathetic idiots scattered throughout the room.

Huh, guess I wasn't TOO far off. I was, technically, his slave. His slave for paperwork, that is.

I narrowed my eyes at the obnoxious boy and did my best Hibari imitation. "I have orders to report any rule-breakers I see. Do you want to be reported for talking out of turn in class, herbivore?"

I must have done a better job than I thought, because the boy paled in fear and quickly ducked his head down, as did almost everyone else.

I slid into my seat next to Tsuna. "Did I scare everyone?"

"A-a little," Tsuna squeaked timidly beside me. "You looked a lot like H-Hibari-san a second there,"

"No worries," I said breezily, then smiled encouragingly at the shy boy. Honestly, Tsuna needed to grow a backbone, even if I totally approved of his shota-ness. "Seriously, Tsuna, I was just joking to scare the boy. I won't report you guys. Or at least, not you or your friends. You guys are cool."

Tsuna relaxed. "R-really?" He smiled in relief. "N-not that I want you to do that, I-I mean, you should do your job, right? J-just because we're friends doesn't mean you should m-make exceptions!" He sounded totally terrified when he said that, but I guess his sense of duty was bigger than his fear. Awww.

The teacher entered the classroom, and we all quietened down. About ten minutes into the history lecture, my mind began to wander. I stared out the window, which had a really great view of the school grounds below from the second floor.

The sky was so nice and blue. Sigh. If only I could be out there, on the roof or something, staring at the sky instead of sitting in here listening to that annoying old guy yammer on.

I turned around to see half of the class doing the same. Tsuna was staring out the window too, a dazed and sleepy expression on his face. Yamamoto was taking it to a whole new level by actually burying his head into his long arms and ACTUALLY SLEEPING.

Gokudera and Kyoko seemed to be good little students, diligently taking notes, although I had a feeling Gokudera was only doing it so he could give them to Tsuna later. I mean, that guy is a freaking genius, he didn't need to study for anything, he only did it because he wanted to be with Tsuna.

Hana was taking notes too, but she had an extremely bored expression on her face, and I had a feeling she was also doodling in-between the margins every few minutes or so.

I turned back to staring out at the sky. After a while, movement outside caught my eye, and my gaze lowered down to the school grounds. A flash of a flowing black coat caught my eye.

Hibari Kyoya had walked outside.

Feeling confident and safe from my spot up on the second floor (and there were like a gajillion windows, how could he see me?), I observed him without fearing those intense eyes landing on me.

Okay, I had to admit, when he looked peaceful (like now), he looked kind of good. I mean, he had nice dark hair, a cute nose, and if he smiled he would look kind of hot.

Oh, wait, scratch that - if he smiled, I would probably throw myself off a cliff. That's like if serial killers started to hand out candy to kids - no, even worse, if pedophiles did. It repulsed and horrified you at the same time, and your first thought would be to RUN AWAY, LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS, HIDE YOUR CHILDREN.

So, never mind. Forget looking hot, Hibari Kyoya must never, EVER smile.

A sudden speck of bright yellow appeared, flying towards Hibari's outstretched hand. It was his adorable, fluffy, round bird-thing. I'm pretty sure I caught Tsuna calling it 'Hibird' or something at one point.

Hibird or whatever-it-was landed on Hibari's outstretched finger. With his other hand, Hibari calmly began to stroke its fluffy yellow feathers. Okay, that was tugging at my heartstrings. AWWWWW.

Then Hibari suddenly looked up. His eyes met with mine.

My eyes widened to practically twice its original size, and I had to bite my tongue to hold back the gasp that was threatening to come out of my mouth. Oh my sweet baby Jesus, he saw me. He totally saw me. I'm dead.

I still couldn't look away. I felt like a little kid caught stealing from a cookie jar or something (although really, who had cookie jars these days?). I stared, horrified, at the demon.

Hibari glared at me. That look pointedly said, "Pay attention in class, herbivore, or I will bite you to death and feast on your herbivorous remains like the carnivore that I am. Okay, so maybe he probably didn't mean that last part. But you get it.

I quickly turned back to stare at the front of the class, unable to get rid of the tickling sensation all the way down my back. Chills.

I didn't move until I felt the chills slowly disappear. Then I snuck a peek at the grounds. Oh, thank god, he was gone.

Then I looked at a tree branch and saw Hibird, the cute yellow fluffy bird-thing, perched on the branch and staring resolutely at me.

OH MY GOD, HE SENT HIS BIRD TO SPY ON ME.

This was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. And honestly, if the demon can control animals, we're all doomed. Especially if they're cute and fluffy.

It was lunch time. I was walking up to the school roof (because really, I don't give a crap if Hibari sleeps there, if I want to eat there I goddamn WILL eat up there!) when I saw a couple of boys laughing and chatting as they walked towards their classroom, carelessly tossing a crumpled-up piece of paper onto the ground.

"Hey!" I yelped, walking towards them. "You can't just throw that anywhere!"

The boy turned to glare at me. I gulped. Oh, gosh. Third-years. "Oh, really? And whatcha going to do about it?" He sneered at me.

I took a deep breath. "I am Hibari Kyoya's assistant, and it's my job to report any rule-breakers to him. I don't want to see anyone get hurt, so can you please throw it out and we can go on our way?" I mean, seriously. There was a garbage can like five feet away from him.

The boy raised an eyebrow, his friends sniggering and shooting me dirty looks. I forced myself to keep my chin up and stare back at him. "Well, what the Disciplinary Committee leader doesn't know won't hurt anyone. You could just pretend you didn't see this and we can go on our way," He argued back.

It was true. In this school, everyone was an enemy against Hibari. I should just pretend I saw nothing. But, all the same…this was Hibari's school.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that." I said, forcing my voice to stay even. "Please pick up your garbage, or I will report you to Hibari-san for littering."

The boy glared at me. He took a step forward threateningly, causing me to shuffle backwards a bit. "Now, listen here, you little menace. I ought to smack you into next week! You should treat your sempais with more respect…"

Oh god. This is what I get for trying to defend the devil. I was going to get beat up, girl or not, because SHIT, that's right, I'm currently a 'boy'.

The boy and his friends surrounded me. I heard a few girls nearby scream, and I distinctly made out Kyoko's voice yelling out, "Please, leave Ari-kun alone!"

Oh god, where is that dynamite-flinging Gokudera when you need him? I thought desperately. I flinched when he raised a fist towards me. The gang-beat was about to begin.

Suddenly, there was a shout of 'REBOOOOOOOOORN!', and Tsuna came hurtling towards me. That's right. Tsuna.

"PROTECT ARI-KUN WITH MY DYING WILL!" Tsuna yelled. He was making no sense at all. And - what the hell? - he was in his underwear.

"What the hell? Isn't this Dame-Tsuna?" The third-year snorted, turning to Tsuna instead. "No, Tsuna, get out of here!" I yelled, then froze. Wait a minute…was that…orange flames I saw on his forehead?

HOLY SHIT, HIS HAIR WAS ON FIRE!

Before I could voice out my thoughts, Tsuna dodged the boy's punches and knocked him out with one strike to the jaw. People began cheering.

Tsuna made quick work of the third-years, before grabbing my wrist and practically dragging me away.

"Get those bastards!" The third-year yelled, struggling back up to his feet.

"Che," The Tsuna-who-wasn't-actually-Tsuna-because-this-Tsuna-was-completely-batshit-insane-Tsuna grumbled, before wrapping two thin arms around me and jumping out a window. Yes, OUT A WINDOW.

Before I could even scream, Tsuna had landed softly and ninja-like on the ground, lowering me to the ground as well. Then the flames died down to nothing, leaving only a thin trail of black smoke. His eyes also turned to normal, before they looked super intense.

"H-hiieee! What the -?" He yelped in shock. "I-I'm so sorry, Ari-kun!" He bowed quickly, attempting to cover himself since he was wearing nothing but boxers, and I heard him muttering under his breath, "Oh man, how am I supposed to explain this?"

"Good work, Dame-Tsuna," A squeaky, baby-like voice said. Suddenly a baby appeared beside us, wearing a snazzy black suit and a fedora with a chameleon sitting serenely on the brim. He also had spectacular sideburns.

"R-Reborn, how could you?" Tsuna yelped. "That was so embarrassing!"

"So you would rather stand back and let those weaklings beat up your friend?" Reborn asked in all seriousness. Tsuna hesitated and then bowed his head in shame. "No…but why couldn't I use Hyper Dying Will Mode instead?"

"Because you didn't bring your gloves with you, which was what I specifically told you to always carry with you no matter what!" Reborn flew into the air and landed a perfect smack right onto Tsuna's face. "Owowowowow! What was that for?" Tsuna whined, caressing the injured cheek.

"Okay, can someone please explain something to me before I die of hyperventilation?" I said in a slightly high-pitched, stressed voice.

"First of all, what the hell was that back there? Why were you in your underwear? How did you get so strong? Why was your forehead on fire? And also…WHY IS THAT BABY TALKING?" I pointed an accusatory finger at said baby. "He even schooled you! And what are you talking about? What Hyper Dying Will-whatever?"

Reborn frowned, looking serious again, and pulled at the brim of his fedora. "Seems like we have an observant one here…and how is it that you can see Dame-Tsuna's dying will flames?"

"Dying will…what?" I felt extremely confused. So much weird crap was happening. Then I recognized the baby. "Wait a minute…you're that Master Paopao guy, the one that shows up at the boxing club every now and then! And you're also that substitute teacher! What the hell?"

"Very well, let me explain everything to you." Tsuna looked freaked out. "R-Reborn, don't drag Ari-kun into this!"

Reborn ignored him spectacularly. "I am Reborn, Dame-Tsuna's home tutor. But really, that's just a cover. I am actually a hitman from Italy and I have been sent here by the Vongola Ninth to train Tsuna into becoming the Vongola mafia family's next boss."

There was a long silence. Reborn took that as a chance to continue.

"Oh, and those flames are dying will flames. Dame-Tsuna can get shot with a special bullet that makes him act temporarily to fulfil his last dying wish. However, he also has wool mittens that can transform into special gloves he uses to fight when he's in Hyper Dying Will Mode, which is an upgrade."

Longer silence. Tsuna looked nervous. "R-Reborn, I told you not to let Ari-kun know! I don't want you to drag my friends into this mess!" He turned to me. "A-Ari-kun? Are you okay? You haven't said a word. R-Reborn is just joking -"

"I am not," Reborn said, smacking Tsuna around the face again. "Ow!"

More silence.

Then I keeled over and fainted.

When I woke up, I was - believe it or not - lying on the smooth leather couch that belonged in the Reception Room.

"You're finally awake, herbivore."

I flinched and jumped at that voice. I turned around to find Hibari Kyoya sitting at his desk.

"What the…how did I get here…"

"Ciaossu!" Said a familiar squeaky voice. Reborn was sitting across from me on the coffee table. "Gah! Oh my god!" I attempted to crawl away, but Hibari said, "Sit down and listen to the baby, herbivore."

I immediately straightened up and did as he said. Since when did Hibari hold a baby in such high respects?

"Thank you, Hibari." Reborn turned to me. "Now that you know everything, you have no choice but to be accepted into the Vongola Tenth Generation Family."

"Vongola Tenth…what? Oh, wait, it all makes sense!" No wonder Gokudera calls Tsuna 'Juudaime'! "Does Gokudera know? And Yamamoto? And Kyoko and Hana?"

"Gokudera and Yamamoto are part of Dame-Tsuna's family. However, Dame-Tsuna put his foot down on letting his crush know the truth. He did manage to recruit her brother, Sasagawa Ryohei, though."

"B-but…why tell me all of that - that mafia stuff?" I had a splitting headache. "It's not like I can do anything…"

"You are Hibari Kyoya's assistant, it would have been natural for you to join our family anyway, considering he too is part of the family."

"EEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH?"

"I never agreed to that, baby." Hibari suddenly spoke up, his voice low and dangerous. "I never agreed to joining that herbivore's crowd."

"If you stay in Dame-Tsuna's family, you have a bigger chance of fighting with Rokudo Mukuro again." Reborn said. Hibari fell silent, which shocked me once again. Who was that Roku guy?

"Hmm, very well. I will consider it," Hibari said. Then he turned to me. "Herbivore, you have paperwork to do."

"E-eh? But I have class…" I looked up at the clock. "What? School's been over for twenty minutes already?"

"After you fainted, I got Hibari Kyoya to bring you to the Reception Room until you woke up." Reborn explained squeakily. "Now that this is settled, welcome to the family, Mitarashi." Then a hole opened up in the coffee table and he slid down and disappeared.

What.

The.

Hell.

"Herbivore," Hibari growled dangerously.

"Eep! Sorry sorry sorry!" I squealed, jumping up and almost running to my desk. I sighed as I sat down and glumly started on the pile of papers in my IN tray. Looks like fainting for half a day and having a huge headache from the information overload didn't stop the demon from giving me work to do.

And I never got to eat my lunch. I was hungry.

For the next few hours I worked through the papers. Then I paused and stared in mild surprise at the last sheet of paper I had to look over and rewrite.

It was the third-year boys that had attempted to beat me.

Crime: Littering in the halls, starting a fight, attempting to injure member of the Disciplinary Committee

Punishment: Bitten to death

Huh…

"Is there something wrong, herbivore?" Hibari's voice drifted into my thoughts.

"N-no, I'm fine!" I filled in the last sheet and handed the stack to him.

"Herbivore, why are you smiling?"

"Huh? Am I smiling? Ha ha…" I scratched sheepishly at my cheek. "Well then, I'm leaving. See you tomorrow, Hibari-san." I bowed quickly and left the room.

Looks like my life just got quite a bit more interesting…

Otaku-chama: So, how was this? :)

Any questions, just put them in your review and I will try and answer them. If they're more personal or whatever, just PM me.