I'm busy admiring the paintings in the art gallery, awaiting this evening's climax. The first to arrive is Klahzia.
"Hello, dear lady! I suppose Chaos couldn't help but ensure she be front and center for these festivities." I say inside her head.
She laughs joyfully. "Of course not, sweet
man." She grins playfully at me, and then moves over toward where Elias is standing.
More and more people stream in, but I don't pay them any more mind than a slight nod of acknowledgement. They don't need me to entertain them, anyway. They're all murmuring to each other, some excitedly so, others in voices either neutral or too hushed to hear.
I can't help but wonder what the outcome of all of this will be. Obviously most of us don't like War. But, like Elias did until very recently, we mostly dealt with his insanity and only stood up when it was apparent he was going to spiral entirely out of control. It will be terribly interesting to see who willingly opposes War. It will be even more interesting to see who embraces Elias's book. Well, Kaija's book, but Elias is fond of it, too.
I don't know how I feel about Elias's book. It has good things it, that's for sure, but trading all us gods for a single one seems like moving backward instead of forward, in some ways. I mean, except for the fact that this other God doesn't appear to be demented, or spiteful, nor does He seem to require offerings or sacrifices or pain. Nor does He seem to be one who will torture you for fun. Or punishment. And He also, from what Elias has told me, forgives all wrongdoing.
Hmmm. Yeah, okay. Guess I got a little bit of tunnel vision there. He would certainly be a step forward. I'll just shut up about that now, since it's not like I've read that entire book or even understand half of what I did read. I'll ask Kaija for some further info on God after all this settles down.
I glance around and notice that everyone is here except, of course, War and his Generals, Cachexys and Apollyon. Elias has begun his speech, so I begin watching people's faces, looking for signs of allegiance.
Morgynn's sold, as we knew she would be. Instead of the smile I expected to see on her face, though, I see a reserved upward curve of her lips. Not a smile. Not a grin. Just...approval in lip form. Thanks, Morgynn, for the enthusiasm. I know you don't want to fight, but if you could look even a little excited for this revolution, maybe it would help others to feel the same.
Or maybe they'd just wonder why she's grinning like a maniac, as Nereza appears to be doing. Probably more that. I'm going to go with approval on that one? Maybe? Okay, Morgynn, I forgive your reserved-looking not-smile. At least I know exactly what it means, and so will everyone else.
And Zora looks...creepy as shit. Like she always does. Both the twins usually creep me out, but tonight, it's mainly Zora. Anyway, Zora has a vague darkness hanging on her features, and, since I'm a betting man, we'll go ahead and put money on the fact that she'll be on War's side.
Won't that be interesting, the twins facing off. Sad, really. It is. I'm not being an ass. It really is sad that they would choose different sides in this. I wonder how it will affect their relationship down the road. Assuming they both survive this, of course.
Elias has this pipedream where he announces that God is awesome and War is bad, and the people should have enough food and things, and then everyone lays down and cuddles and no bad things happen. Well, okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. Probably there is minimal cuddling. But he certainly believes he will achieve this revolution without a huge fight. Sorry, old buddy. As you know, we'll have to fight War, at the very least. Which means a huge fight. Because, yes, together we can beat him, but he carries an awful lot of weapons, and I'm guessing we'll have to knock a few of them away from him before we can just, like, tackle him with love or whatever. So, as much as I'd like to avoid bloodshed, I'm preparing for it, because apparently I actually smoke way less than Elias. Who knew.
Back to the topic at hand, Reseda is nodding along with every word Elias speaks. Good, good. A little more obvious and sane-looking than anyone else, so far. I would like a lot more of the sane-looking, obvious approval, but I suppose pickers can't be choosers.
Kayleon is stoic, as usual, except for the tiniest of grins tugging at the corner of his mouth. I mean, with him fighting it so thoroughly, it looks more twitchy than anything else. But, I know better. He's fighting a smile, because he likes what Elias is saying. Kayleon loves this kind of thing. Well, the speech thing, not the fuck-with-War-and-maybe-get-killed thing. That thing isn't really anyone's favorite, but some things happen to be worth dying for.
And Ahava. Ah, my Ahava. There is the enthusiasm I was looking for on the faces of the others. She is beaming, looking at Elias with pride. She is so incredibly beautiful when she smiles. This new world of love and light is one Ahava will fit seamlessly into. No adjustments for my lady. This new world is the one she already lives in. It's just that she's kept it in her heart, so it would be safe from War, and anyone else who wanted to ruin it before its time.
"What is this?" I hear War's booming voice ask, pulling me momentarily out of my musings.
He's got that dumb smirk of his plastered on his face (a deceptive smirk, as his eyes betray his rage), and he's flanked by his two minions, Apollyon and Cachexys. Cachexys seems to be alternating between looking mad as hell at everyone, and looking at War like a puppy looks at its master after it's been kicked. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Apollyon just looks annoyed that he isn't napping or staring at a wall. No one's stopping you, old dog. Feel free to turn around and make yourself useless. I don't really fancy a go with someone as solid as yourself, anyhow.
"Having a party without inviting your Alpha?" War continues.
Barf. I still can't believe he actually refers to himself as our Alpha. Like I get this vision of him sitting around, counting people off on his fingers, and then clapping excitedly and going, "I am totally SO MANY people's Alpha." And then he goes off and kills squirrels for fun or something. Or people. Probably people. Yuck.
"That's rather rude." Oh, sorry. Definitely meant to invite you, but, you know, I got busy. Had to make sure Cachexys didn't spread his ick all over my best friend's wife. Had to stop Klahzia from touching my best friend's wife. Had to dance with my wife. Had to criticize everyone else's dancing. Totally forgot about your invitation. All my fault, truly.
"It's no party War. Things are going to change," Elias says surely.
Yeah they will! One way or another. Hoping for the one way instead of the other, because the other is going to suck a lot if it happens. I'm probably going to have to step up and say something here, soon, so I should maybe listen to what War is saying.
"...who? You, you traitorous filth?"
Oh, I think that means it's my turn. Elias doesn't get to be the only one who's called fun names.
"Says all of us!" I shout, stepping closer to Elias. Kayleon copies me, and I shoot him a grin.
"The way we're living is wrong. We cannot continue to make slaves of our fellow men."
I'm sure War thinks it sounds just dandy to continue to do so, but it's super uncool to enslave people. So, even though War glares menacingly at us, I stand my ground. I will stand with Elias until the end, no matter what. I owe him that. And, also, it's the right thing to do. That one is harder to stick to with War's rage directed at me, though, so I'll focus on my loyalty to Elias. That I will certainly die for.
"Our fellow men?" War laughs, but the sound is bitter and hollow. Very disturbing. Especially since he's laughing at my words.
"You really want to place those pathetic insects on the same plane as us? We were born out of the darkness of the Cataclysm with these powers. Do you really believe we weren't meant to use them?"
Well, War, what I believe is that you're oversimplifying this argument for your own benefit. No one said not to use our powers at all. We're just kind of thinking maybe don't use them to enslave people and force them to worship us. Bit less extreme, in my opinion.
"We were not meant to make ourselves gods," Elias says through gritted teeth.
Sometimes I forget just how much Elias hates War. Elias doesn't hate anything, really, so it's easy for me to ignore the intensity of that particular feeling because I don't see it that often. It's...a bit scary, honestly, but also heartening. I know I'm standing behind the right man, and the right ideas.
"We didn't," War's looking a little twitchy. Hmmm. That's probably not a good thing. He's maybe a bit angry right now. "The people did that all by their little selves."
"And we should have stopped them," Elias states matter of factly.
War laughs again, this time with a hint of actual amusement. Instead of looking amused, though, War looks wild. Yeah, that's no good. We're definitely going to fight, and War's going to be raging around like a rabid hyena who got into a locked medicine cabinet. So that should be loads of fun.
Peaceful revolution, my ass.
"Oh, my little god of Death…you were the last one I found and pulled under my wing. It's a shame you weren't more grateful to me. Your talents are impressive."
I'd be totally cool with War shutting up now. He sounds dangerous, and I don't like it.
"You've been defying me all along."
No dice.
"I thought you'd learn when I killed your little pets, but then you even went so far as to steal one of my Offerings, and now you're staging a coup. It's high time I teach you a lesson."
War draws his sword, and I leap to Elias's side. There's no way he can fend War off on his own, especially when War is looking so crazed.
"No, this is between War and me," Elias states.
Ugh. Elias. Why are you trying to be so...I mean I'd say noble, but this just seems stupid. Taking on War by yourself, while you have Kayleon and I to aid you? Is this just a grand ruse so no one thinks you've killed yourself? Because that's what this is, Elias. It's suicide.
"You will regret ever challenging me, god of Death." Well, hold on now. If Elias wins this fight, he most certainly will not regret challenging you. If he doesn't, he will most certainly be dead. And from what Elias has told me so far of God, there's a pretty fancy place Elias gets to go to when he dies. So kind of a win-win if you want to think positive.
However, if Elias dies, I will regret challenging War, for more reasons than I care to count right now. I'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen.
War motions to his fan club, and both Cachexys and Apollyon spring into action. I meet Cahcexys's sword with my own, knocking him backward.
"Now, now, if we're not allowed to play, you all won't be interfering either," I say as I shoot Cachexys a grin.
Kayleon is dueling with Apollyon while I fend off Cachexys. Really, really grateful the pairings worked out this way. Not a big fan of fighting half-giants. Skinny-little-bitch men are more my specialty when it comes to ass kicking.
I hazard a glance around me. Nearly everyone is engaged in battle. Zora and Nereza have begun battling each other. Klahzia is, it seems, attempting to shake the room so violently that the ground opens beneath us. Raiden is threatening a mighty storm, and Morgynn is swinging her blades easily while also manipulating the water from the storm clouds.
Insanity, that's what this is.
Cachexys seems to be tiring, so I double my assault. His eyes widen as he realizes he can't match my effort. I smile, knowing this waste of air will not be around to sully Elias's new world.
Suddenly, Cachexys starts swinging at me widlly, reminding me of my children when they were small, overtired, and not AT ALL interested in dinner. I'm really hoping this will be less messy when all is said and done.
I try blocking his blows, but I can't anticipate them. Has this man lost his mind? Without warning, Cachexys raises his blade and slashes at me, knocking my own blade from my hands. Shitshitshitshit.
Stupidly, though, Cachexys lowers his blade slightly and laughs. Well, he's going to regret that. I throw my body at him with all my might, taking him to the ground and knocking his sword from his grasp. My arms are pinned beneath his body, and he is flailing like a fish out of water. I manage to slip one hand out, then roll to the side and yank the other free.
Cachexys pounces on me, landing a punch. I almost laugh at how weak it is, but I'm not as dumb as he, and I know I need to focus. Plus, it did hurt a little, and my lips are dry, so I taste the a small amount of blood leaking from where my lower one split apart. That pisses me off, because I have pretty lips. Now it will split back open every time I try to pout at Ahava. That's Cachexys for you, always making someone's life more difficult.
He raises his hand to land another blow, but I grab his fist in mid air and twist his arm backward. With my other hand, I push him roughly off of me and get back on my feet, drawing my dagger.
Cachexys draws his dagger, as well, and we dance around the room, each of us managing to lightly wound the other several times.
I can be a bit more distracted now, and I glance about to see what's going on. Most are paired off and struggling against one another. Klahzia is still standing solo, and as I look her way I feel the floor shake violently once again.
I seriously hope she doesn't think she's being helpful. Because nope, not even one bit. I don't know how her powers work, but if she can't do better than shaking everything about, maybe don't. Just stop. You're going to get someone killed, Chaos, and it better not be someone I like.
I lunge at Cachexys, and manage to slash his chest, leaving a rather impressive wound, if I do say so myself. I should probably feel badly for hurting another living thing...but it's Cachexys. He brings misery to everything he touches. I'm going to cut myself a break here and say he deserved it.
He's distracted by the wound, so I take the opportunity to grab him by the neck, twist him around, and pull him flush against me so he can't move. I press my blade to his throat. I hesitate, unsure if taking his life is really the right choice.
"Stop this!"
Kaija? Oh I know that's not Kaija. That woman better not be here. She better be sitting in that damn cavern with Vivienne, waiting for this to be over, staying super safe and being totally fine. When I look up, it can't be Kaija. It needs to be someone else. Elias can't be worrying about her right now. He needs to focus. He's a dead man if he can't do that. I like Kaija. She's a lovely, kind hearted woman who treats my best friend well. But I'm not entirely sure how I'll forgive her if her presence costs Elias his life.
I look up. Damn it. Damn every single thing in this entire forsaken world. It is Kaija. I knew it was Kaija, but I guess I held out a fool's hope that I was simply delusional.
But wait...she's standing in between Elias and War. She's blocking War from getting to Elias. And Elias...shit. Elias is hurt. Badly. Guess I should give that woman more credit. Elias might already be dead if she hadn't intervened. I shudder at the thought. We can't lose Elias. The end.
"Kaija?" I hear Elias say, and I turn my head to him just in time to see his eyes widen in shock.
Kaija looks Elias over. Looks as though she is assessing his injuries. She doesn't seem happy about his state, but she looks confident about it, which makes me happy. I guess maybe I am okay with the fact that she snuck in, after all. I mean, it appears she saved Elias's life, instead of risking it, and now she's unknowingly reassuring me of his condition. I can't exactly complain about that and still seem decent. Nor would I want to.
"None of us are any match for you in a contest of strength, War,"Kaija begins. "However, as Elias said, we have only to stand together, and it is you who will be no match for us."
Okay, it's settled. I absolutely love this woman. Anyone who can look War in the eye and attempt to take him down a notch, let alone tell him he's no match for us, wins my affection for good. That's so badass.
I notice the other gods mumbling their agreement. Lots of head nodding. Where was all your head nodding before the fight, you dimwits? I mean, thanks, I suppose, for coming to the right side, but if you were going to do, the best time would have been before War ever got here. Anyway, that's neither here nor there at this point.
"You," War hisses at Kaija. "You're the cause for all of this. Death has been a pest for centuries, but it wasn't until you came along that he actually got up the nerve to defy me."
I guess we're forgetting about the thing with Ronyn, then. That's fine, I guess. Kaija's here now, anyway. Not exactly fair to cast a shadow over her. But, you know, if you had killed Kaija while leaving Elias incapacitated, we'd maybe not be here. Like, there's about a five percent chance, I think. It's really your own fault, War. And I am ever so grateful for your mistake.
"He had the nerve all along," Kaija states, looking proudly at Elias. "He just needed a good reason."
War is probably thinking Kaija is talking about herself. She's not, I don't think. Kaija is a mighty woman, it seems, but nothing Elias has told me of her alludes to arrogance or pride. No, she is talking about her book. About her God. Elias's God, too. That's moving to me, and I'm not fully aware of why. I also don't think this is the exact right moment for finding out.
"Well, isn't that precious?" War says mockingly. Yep. He definitely thinks she's talking about herself. I guess he doesn't have much to go on for alternatives, but still, he's way off base. And at a huge disadvantage.
Elias would willingly have given his life for just about anyone he cares for all along. I do not and will not ever doubt that. However, this God he's been telling me about promises him Paradise after death. Armed with such a promise, Elias has very little incentive to back down, even if it means dying. I mean, this palace is nice and all, but something tells me it's not the lodgings that make this Paradise so grand. And, Elias has made it clear that he intends to spread such joyful news, with Kaija leading the way. No, neither he nor Kaija will let this fire burn out, but not for the reasons War believes. War is a dead man walking, and his empire may as well be ash. He just doesn't know it, yet.
"Tell me, Offering...what happens if I take away his reason?"
Well, you can't, -
"No!" Elias's voice booms in the gallery, his tone more desperate than I've ever heard it. I watch in horror as War pulls a spear from his back, and hurls it toward Kaija. Elias shoves Kaija as far off to the side as he can, saving her life .My Ahava is instantly with her. As I look back at my friend, though, I watch the spear sink heavily into him, and I feel something inside of me break.
A few of the other gods help me press Cachexys into the ground as I watch the majority subdue War. As soon as I know he is restrained, I stumble toward Elias, blood flowing from a wound on my leg I didn't know I had.
"Do you really think they'll accept you if…" War's words fade out. I have no ability to listen to him. I want to hear his words, but my brain just can't process them. I fall down beside my friend, grasping his hand, taking in his thoughts. They are going a million miles a minute. First I see Kaija, then the book, then Ahava and I, and finally, a vision of Kaija holding an infant in her arms. The pain I'm feeling was already unbearable, but seeing Elias imagine his unborn child because he will never get to hold him...it's beyond words.
"Take care of them for me, Felix. Promise me."
"Always, my friend."
Kaija is here, now, and I know this place I'm occupying is hers. I move out of her way, but stay close to Elias. I can't leave him. Not until he's gone. I should have been closer all along. I should have never been so caught up in my own fight. For as long as I have known Elias, he was never too preoccupied with his own problems that he let himself fail his friends. Never. And here I am, having failed him when he needed me most.
I shouldn't have stood down when he told me to. I knew better. I let my respect for Elias overshadow my better judgement. And now this wonderful, kind, courageous man is paying the price. I'd change places with him in a heartbeat. Without thought. This new world needs Elias, not a jokester who prances around like fucking pony. I am useless to this new age, especially without Elias to lead me.
"No, no, no, no," Kaija is sobbing.
My heart breaks into a hundred million pieces upon hearing her lament. This woman has only had mere months with the man she loves. I have had centuries with Ahava. It's not fair. It's not fair that a love so strong would be so fleeting. That something so precious would meet such a tragic end.
I wish it were me. So badly, I wish it were me lying on the ground instead of my dear friend. I have seen my children grow, and I would not trade that for all the riches in all the kingdoms in all the lands. But they know and would remember their father. Kaija will raise that baby well, but without Elias. That child will know his father only through stories. And what truly awe inspiring stories they will be, but they are not enough. I can't even begin to imagine the father this man would have been. Already, though his child is not born, he has given him everything. How loved this baby would have felt when Elias gazed upon him.
"Kaija," Elias says through labored breaths, and I cannot express how thankful I am that my mind does not cloud his words. "Are you injured?"
Elias cups her face. Kaija shakes her head, and then leans into his touch. I can tell it pains him, but he will not waste his last moments succumbing to pain. He is so much stronger than that.
"Kaija." Elias say again, so, so gently.
"I can heal you!" Kaija says, so loudly it's nearly a shout. "War killed Diggory, and I brought him back. I don't know how, but I can do it!"
For a fraction of a second, my heart swells with hope. Perhaps Kaija is Life, the one we have searched for for so long. But then I remember that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter AT ALL. Even if she is LIfe, she can't use her power on Elias. What a cruel twist of fate.
Nothing is happening. I knew it wouldn't but I still feel disappointment sitting heavy on my chest. Oh, how I had hoped…
"Why isn't it working?" Kaija cries desperately.
Oh, Kaija. Sweet Kaija. Ahava and I will try to heal your wounded heart. I promise you.
"Miss Kaija," Reseda says. She's been here the whole time, on the other side of Elias, but I had hardly even registered her presence. "My name is Reseda, and I have power over Healing. Our powers don't work on one another. I've already tried, and I'm so sorry."
"No." Kaija says resolutely, as though she can change centuries worth of proof and knowledge with sheer willpower. "It has to work. I have to heal him. I can do this."
Kaija lays her hand flat on Elias chest, squeezes her eyes tightly, and sets her tongue firmly between her teeth.
Kaija. Just enjoy what little time you have left, sweetheart. Hold Elias and tell him everything you have in your heart. Don't waste your precious time attempting the impossible. Please, for his sake and yours, be done with this.
"Kaija!" Elias uses more breath than I thought he had left in him. "Please, Kaija. It's all right. You're safe, and that's all that matters."
I was not doing a good job of hiding my emotions before, but now I can feel the tears spilling off my cheeks. If only everyone knew exactly what Elias meant when he said those words. Kaija's safety doesn't matter to him only because of Kaija, although again, Kaija would have been more than enough for him to die for. No, Kaija's safety also matters because of the baby...and because of the book. Kaija knows that book like no other, and she can spread its word. And as much as I fear a being with so much power, God has made Elias a new man, and it's wonderful. Kaija helped, certainly, but knowing of God's grace...Elias was so alive when he spoke of it. Grace. He wants Kaija to live on and raise their child as much as he wants others to feel God's grace.
If only God's grace could keep him here a little longer. We aren't done with him yet.
"No, it isn't," Kaija wails. "I need you, Elias."
The smile on Elias's face is a sad one. It cuts right through whatever shreds were left of my heart. He loves her, damn it. He should be allowed to continue.
"And I will never leave you," Elias says quietly. He pulls Kaija's forehead down to his own. "I'm just going on ahead to wait for you in Paradise."
Kaija sobs. "But I'm one of you. It could take me forever to get there."
"I waited over seven hundred years for you, Kaija. I will wait to the end of eternity if it means seeing you again."
I'm sobbing now. How can something so sad be so gut-wrenchingly beautiful at the same time?
"What am I supposed to do without you?" Kaija sounds like she's pleading. Like if she begs sincerely enough, Elias will not die. If only. If only.
"You'll live." Elias can only whisper now. "You'll do what you know you have to do. For the first time in over seven hundred years, the people are free to do and believe as they please. You have to show them how. You are a bridge between the ones with power and the ones without. Use that heart of yours, and help them, Kaija."
"How?" Kaija sounds absolutely miserable. I'm sure she is. I wish I could ease her pain, but it's impossible. Only time will do that.
"You've been a free thinker all your life," Elias says weakly. "It's part of why I love you. You'll figure it out."
"You were supposed to stay with me until I grew old and grey," Kaija laments with a sob.
"I know." Elias gasps, and for the first time, I see tears in his eyes. "And that much, I truly do regret. My time with you on this earth has been far too short."
I'm crying so hard I'm shaking, but I am so relieved that my tears remain silent. This moment is not mine. As much as I am hurting, this moment is theirs, and I need to let them have it.
"And our child…" Kaija's voice threatens to break with the pain it holds. Many gasp in shock, but they quickly quiet themselves.
I see Elias clench his jaw, fighting back the sobs that threaten to overtake his body.
All Elias ever wanted out of life was to be a father. That's it. Elias was a god, and all he wanted was a baby. And how my heart aches for him, knowing the joy of holding your first baby for the first time, and knowing also that he will die without feeling it. All he has are imaginings of what might be. But he doesn't know. That precious, beautiful moment has been stolen from him by the scum of the earth. That scum will not live to see another day, if I have anything to say about it.
Elias reaches toward Kaija, and cradles her stomach. I know he is connecting with his child, probably for the last time. I can't help it. I actually let out a sob at the sight. In his last moments, Elias holds his child in the only way he can. Through his mind.
"Our son," Elias says quietly. "It's a boy. His name...is Davian...it means beloved."
I release a sob again. I hope beyond hope that it gives Elias some comfort to know he will have a son, and to know that son's name. Again, the joy Elias will miss hits me, and I bow my head in grief.
"You're sure?" Kaija ask him.
Elias can't seem to manage a smile, but one tries to tug at lips. "I'm sure." Elias is panting with effort as he speaks. "And I'm...so sorry. I won't be there...to meet him with you...There is so much...I'll miss…"
Kaija is touching Elias, trying to comfort him, but he continues one.
"At least...At least I was able to protect you. You'll both be...safe."
Elias looks toward me. "Felix -"
"I'm here, Elias." I say assuredly, grasping Elias's forearm, as we have done so often, for the final time.
"Elias, I am so sorry. I-"
"Don't. Don't you dare. You could not have prevented this. War did this. I did this. And I do not regret it, so neither should you."
"Okay, my friend. I'll try."
"Make sure Kaija doesn't blame herself, Felix. Make sure she still lives. Make sure you tell her and Davian all the funny stories we have from the past few centuries together. Please make sure my boy knows who I was. I can't bear the thought of leaving him, but knowing he has Kaija, and you, and Ahava...that eases it for me. Promise me, Felix."
"On everything I hold dear, Elias, Davian will know his father. And Elias...Thank you. For everything. You have done so much for me over the years. You have been more kind and more understanding than I deserved. Thank you for embracing me as I am. I love you, my dear, sweet friend."
"And I you, Felix. No thanks is needed, but you are most welcome. Goodbye, Felix. I hope you never lose your spark."
"Goodbye Elias. I promise you I won't."
"See that my wife and son are cared for," Elias says out loud, looking me in the eye. I can tell it is painful for him to speak.
"Of course," I whisper. I slide my arm around Kaija, squeezing her shoulders gently and letting the love Elias felt for her and Davian wash over her, before I stand and give them space.
Elias looks back to Kaija.
"Tell him...tell our son...that I loved him. Tell him I loved him...and you...more than life itself. And tell him...I'm sorry...for not - "
"No," kaija says, cutting Elias off. She presses their foreheads together once more, and cradles Elias's face in her hands. "I will tell him you loved us. I will tell him of the strong, loving, incredible man that was his father. I'll tell him how you gave everything to make the world better for us and that you gave your life to keep us safe...but I will never, never, apologize for you. You are going to Paradise before us because of your sacrifice. I want you to run through those gates with your head held high. You are my husband, Elias, and I am so proud of you."
Kaija leans down and kisses Elias. It is so tender and beautiful, and the tears that have been streaming down my face increase exponentially.
"I love you," Kaija says softly.
Elias cannot answer for a moment, a coughing fit shaking his whole body. This is it. My friend will be gone soon, and I don't know that my heart can bear it.
"And I you, my love."
I could barely hear him, and I think those were the last words he will ever speak. Oh, how I wish I could change this. Tears spill forth from my eyes like rain from a thundercloud. I wipe angrily at them, willing them away, but they don't listen.
I watch as he tenderly reaches a hand to Kaija's face. I watch as she clings desperately to it. And, then, I watch as the light leaves my friend's eyes. He is gone from this world, for good.
I sit down heavily on the ground, and Ahava is instantly at my side, pulling me to her chest and kissing my forehead. Her own tears fall from her eyes and onto my face, mingling our grief.
Ahava's pain flows through me as she embraces me. Her thoughts are ragged with grief. I also feel worry - worry for me.
With how broken she is feeling, how lost, I must not allow her to feel how badly I want to be the man lying dead on the floor, instead of Elias. My emotions are wild, and I will not be able to keep them from her if we continue to touch. Knowing those thoughts would crush her, I break free from her embrace, giving her a look that says everything I cannot say in this moment. She nods, understanding that my thoughts must remain my own for a time. Although we are no longer touching, Ahava remains faithfully at my side, her presence offering me a modicum of comfort.
I reach out to Elias through my mind, and even though I knew I would find nothing there, the silence I encounter is deafening. For a moment I feel my soul shatter, and I cannot believe I will ever manage to piece it back together. But I hear Kaija's achingly sorrowful cries, and I put back enough pieces to at least sit in solidarity with her and her loss. She deserves that from me. Elias deserves that from me.
Kaija is practically screaming her pain, sobs spilling forth from her as blood from a fatal wound. I briefly wonder if grief will take her, giving her back to the man she loves and ending the immense pain she feels from losing him. Before I can feel that too deeply, though, Kaija begins wailing, her tear-streaked face pointed skyward. Her words are heavy, but sound hollow.
"No!" She sobs. "God, why? I have been faithful. I survived and did everything I knew to do! I have been faithful to You!"
Oh Kaija. I want so badly to take this pain from you. I cannot imagine being in your place. Having Ahava taken from me even now, after so much time, would be an agony I'm not sure I could bear. But after only months? No. That would have been my end.
"God, if this is a test, I cannot bear it. Losing him is far beyond my strength," she continues to shout skyward.
These words pour freely from her, though her constant stream of tears shows clearly the difficulty of having to speak them.
"Please, I know You give sufficient grace in all things, but don't ask me to bury this man. Not now. Please, grant me the gift of life for him. Please, Father, spare his life! Allow me to use Your gift this one final time. I don't know how to live without him anymore. I don't know how I'll carry on alone."
Kaija's voice breaks, and she lays head head onto Elias's motionless chest, whimpering softly.
"God," I say in my head, "if you did not hear Kaija, I doubt you will hear me. But please, if you are as mighty as Kaija says, and if you truly give such a thing as grace, give it to this woman before me. Please. If you truly gave these powers to us, allow Kaija to use hers now. I fear she will be swallowed whole by grief. Please, God, do not allow that."
I surprise myself with this...prayer. I did not know I believed in God. And perhaps I don't, and I am simply so desperate for Kaija - and myself - to have Elias back that I am blindly pleading with whomever or whatever might hear me. But after pleading from the very depth of my soul and sending it skyward as Kaija did, I find myself assured that the God from Kaija's book has heard me. I have no concept of where that assurance is coming from, or why I am feeling it, but it is not coming from me. That much I am certain of.
Kaija is continuing her mournful, pleading prayer. She sounds as though she has not a drop energy left in all her body. As though she may slip into sleep, and simply not wake again. Please, God, do not let that happen.
"If he cannot live, then please, Father, let me die with him."
No! Kaija, no. Do not ask such a thing. And especially not when I have been pleading for you to live. Surely God will listen to your prayers before my own.
"Please, just let me be with him…please…"
I want to go to her, to provide her some sort of relief. I cannot. I am still reeling, and my thoughts are racing through my mind in fragments. If I cannot control them or keep them from myself, I will not be able to keep them from Kaija; just as I am unable to keep them from Ahava. And Kaija cannot feel my pain, too.
"Oh, Kaija," Diggory says as he lays a hand on her shoulder. I have never been so thankful for that groundskeeper as I am now. She needs someone at her side.
"I'm so sorry," Diggory says gently.
Barnaby also approaches her, placing a hand on her back to comfort her.
I hadn't noticed their arrival, but, seeing them, I look around and find that many servants and even some of Elias's brides have come to see the aftermath of the chaos. At first, I am angry that these people would come to gawk at my friend's dead body, but then I remind myself that he was precious to many, many people, not only Ahava, Kaija, and me. They aren't here to gawk. They are here in an attempt convince themselves it isn't true, and arrive only to find that to be an impossible feat.
"Kaija!" Vivienne? I think that is her name. She goes to Kaija. She starts to say some well-meaning platitude, then seems to realize there is nothing that can be said to make this better, or easier, and stops speaking.
"Please, please, please…" Kaija continues to plead, quietly crying into Elias's chest.
"You may as well stop pleading," War sneers. "Death has never been yours. Since the Cataclysm, his life has belonged to me. I could have ended him long ago. Perhaps I should have. I would have saved myself a lot of headache. I told you I would break you. Who knew it would be something as simple as getting rid of that pathetic wretch that did it?"
"You shut your mouth!" I hear the words burst forth from me, and feel my body moving to where War is still being held to the ground. I told Elias I would ensure his wife was safe, and words like these, now, are dangerous to her. I will shut that monster up if it's the last thing I do.
"Felix!" I hear Kaija say firmly. I stop immediately, freezing in place, but my eyes do not leave War.
"Vivienne, stay with him," I hear Kaija say.
"Of course!" Vivienne answers.
"His name is Elias," Kaija spits. "And his life has never belonged to you. For seven centuries he has fought you. His body is enough evidence of that. You may have won battles along the way, but you never broke him. He's the one person you never broke. No matter how many times you knocked him down, he always got back up, and he always went right back to fighting you. He was so smart you didn't even know it most of the time."
Kaija has approached War, and she is circling him like the lions she faced earlier would circle their prey. Like War has circled many people, so many times before.
"And now look at you," she says. "Despite the empire you built, and despite all your power, here you are, in the end of it all, on your knees, watching as your dominion crumbles. I have spent my life under your thumb. The last four months, you have tortured me in every imaginable way, and tonight, you have stolen my husband. You have stolen the father of my son. You have taken everything from me."
Kaija pauses thoughtfully, and cradles her stomach.
"Despite that, I pity you. For all your effort and all the power you collected, you are nothing. You have nothing. You will die pitiful, and alone, and utterly insignificant. Though you have stolen everything from me, you will hold authority over my life no more. Would you like to know why?"
War's eyes are shooting daggers at Kaija, but he does not speak. Lifting one hand away from her belly - from her child - she points at Elias's lifeless form. Without wanting to, I look back at my friend, and pain grips my chest even more tightly than before.
"Because for however brief a time, God granted me the love of that man. That man is stronger than you could have ever hoped to be. Through all of your cruelty, he held on to his humanity, and the crowd of people circled around him now is proof of that. He rallied all of these people to fight you, and he won. And here you are, as harmless as a dog on a leash. Your evil is done, and we will carry on. His blood will carry on through our son, and we will build a new world with the true God as our direction…just like Elias wanted."
As she goes on, I can't help but feel overwhelmed by her words. Here she is, her desperate prayer unanswered, her husband lying dead behind her, and she is still holding on dearly to a God who seems not to hear her. There must be a reason her faith is so strong. Kaija is no fool. Elias told me quite a lot about her, and I know enough to know that her trust is never blind. There is something about God that makes her so sure He will see her through all of this, and more. I just have no idea what it is.
"That was a lovely speech," War says sarcastically, although a look into his eyes shows me that he has been cut down a notch by Kaija's words. "In the end, though, am I not the stronger of we two? Whatever my status otherwise, here at the end I am alive, and he is dead."
What a pathetic, loathsome piece of scum War is. Even after Elias is dead, he can't stop competing with him. He can't even fully admit his defeat. He is so deluded that he honestly thinks he is victorious, even though he will spend whatever time he has left rotting in a cell. His words leave a bitter taste in my mouth, and I have to force myself to remain where I am. I'd like nothing more than to bash his head in, but Kaija clearly has other plans, and I will honor that.
"That is true. He is dead," Kaija says, and I wince hearing her say it. "But if God will grant me the strength, he will not be that way for long."
Wait, she thinks her prayer will still be answered? She already tried to resurrect Elias, and nothing happened. Surely if God was going to answer her, He'd have done it straight away. What would be the point of drawing it out like this? My eyes follow Kaija as she returns to Elias. The group of people who had gathered around him quickly part, allowing her access to her his body.
"God, help me," I hear Kaija say, though I have to strain to do so. She lays her hands on his chest once again.
I watch intently, waiting for something to happen. Although I still have my doubts, I did feel something speaking to me after I prayed earlier. Perhaps I can hold out just the smallest amount of hope that He will still answer Kaija, and help her bring Elias back to us.
The minutes pass, and I rapidly lose that small bit of hope I had clung to so desperately. Many of Elias's brides are sobbing. War is laughing like a lunatic, and I get a strong urge to go and kick his teeth in. He shouldn't get to mock her. She is doing what she knows, what gives her comfort, and he will not rob her of that.
Again, I begin to move toward him, but just as I do, I notice light appear where Kaija is firmly pressing her hands to Elias's chest.
"It's happening," Barnaby exclaims excitedly. "Kaija, you're healing him. This is how it starts!"
I stare at Barnaby, my mouth parted slightly in shock. Is it? Is this how "it" starts? Is Kaija healing him? Has God heard her? Has He answered her? Is this powerful being Kaija believes so fully in really so invested in us humans as to re-write the rules of power? And all for one woman?
Could I really be watching my best friend come back to life?
I shake my head, trying to shuffle my thoughts into order. People are gasping, Diggory is...laughing? War is screaming that it's not possible, his eyes wide and panic-stricken.
"It isn't possible, but it's happening, " I answer War. "She's going to save him!"
Okay, so I do believe it's happening. But what else does that mean I believe? I watched Kaija as she tried, and failed, to revive Elias. I heard her plead with God, and I plead with Him myself. I heard Kaija confidently declare that God would guide this new world, and say with His help, Elias would live again. This light coming from Kaija...it is not hers alone. Something I can't place fills all cracks that spread across my heart as I watched Elias die. I know in that moment that light is God's light, and He is letting Kaija use it.
At first, murmurs that Kaija is Life make their way through the crowd, but soon those murmurs grow to a roar, drowning out the sound of War continuing to rage on.
"Ah—!" I hear Kaija cry suddenly, as though she is in pain.
"Kaija, you must stop this! You cannot use your ability on another with power!" Diggory cries. "You shouldn't have even been able to activate it—using it now could kill you!"
"It won't," she responds. "I have to keep going."
Somewhere, deep in my mind, I know she is right. But that doesn't stop me from worrying. I fear that the voice in my head telling me it's okay is only my wild hope that Elias might live. I fear that she will hurt herself, or kill herself, and then what? How does this revelotuion continue without its leaders?
"Kaija!" Diggory calls out.
Those closest to Kaija back away quickly as the light that is around her grows, and even from where I stand, I can feel heat emanating from her.
"It's okay, Diggory," she yells.
I watch as the light and heat continue to grow in intensity, until, rather suddenly, they both fade away. Kaija falls forward, her head laying on Elias's chest.
I cannot look anywhere but at Elias's chest. It is rising and falling. He is taking breaths.
My body sags with relief, but my mind is anything but relieved. I am so, so incredibly joyful to see my longtime friend breathing when I had watched him breathe his last. But I can't help the worry that lingers. Is this permanent? Will Elias spark and then fade again?
This is all too good to be true. War overthrown, Elias alive, and a mighty, loving God who answers when His subjects call upon His mercy? I could believe one of these things possible, two if I really, really tried hard. But all three? I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. Life is good. But it isn't that good...or is it?
I watch as Elias begins to move, and his first act is to embrace Kaija. It is a tender embrace, one hand cradling her head while his other arms wraps around her.
I reach out and touch Elias's mind, and to my immense relief, I find a well of gratitude and surprise instead of the painful, sickening silence that met me earlier.
I feel tears fall on my arm, and I realize that I am crying. I am crying tears of joy, here, at the end of this battle, where only a short time ago I was sobbing and heavy with grief. It is unreal, except that it isn't.
"Kaija?" Elias finally speaks, and it is a beautiful sound.
"Yes?" is Kaija's quiet reply.
"I love you," Elias says joyfully.
They continue their embrace, but after many minutes, Elias attempts to sit up. Kaija does seem like she's very keen to let him. I don't know if it's because she is so relieved to have him here, alive, and she is afraid that he will somehow leave this world again if she lets him go, or if she's simply worried he is too weak to stand. For me, it would certainly be the former.
He chuckles as he attempts to sit once more, and Kaija again keeps him pinned to the ground.
"Kaija, as much as I enjoy snuggling with you, I think there are more appropriate venues."
She lifts her head to look at him, her eyes shining with gratitude, but also amusement.
"I promise I'm not trying to be funny, she giggles lightly, "I just don't have a lot left me right now." She looks over her shoulder. "Digg, could you help me up?"
Diggory rushes to her, and as he helps her stand, Elias also rises, taking her hand, and placing his arm around her for support.
"Thank you," she says happily, looking first at Diggory, then gazing lovingly at Elias.
I hazard a glance over toward War, and for once he doesn't have the obnoxious smirk plastered on his face. His mouth is sealed tightly by pursed lips, but a look of disbelief rests firmly in his eyes. His body is making odd, involuntary movements. I think he might be in some state of shock.
I look back to see Elias staring at me, and I beam at him, striding quickly to where he and Kaija stand. Kaija releases Elias and holds tight to Diggory for support as I approach. I embrace Elias tightly, feeling the warmth of his body, and I finally believe this to be real. I am not entirely sure it will last, but it is certainly real.
"You were gone, Elias. Don't do that again, okay?"
Elias laughs easily. "I'll certainly give it my best effort, Felix."
I release him, and he clasps his hands in front of his body.
"First things first. We need to get everyone...situated."
There is some argument amongst ourselves as to who should be detained for now. The only one everyone seems to agree on is War. Elias is insistent that we not detain Cachexys until he has spoken with him. I can't fathom why, but I won't argue with Elias just yet.
Eventually, Diggory and Barnaby go to fetch restraints, and War is led out of the art gallery. A few others are also led out, though not to the dungeons like War. Elias insisted they be kept comfortable.
We go over the logistics if the next day, and make an emergency plan so we can move forward.
Once that business is taken care of, those who sided with Elias (and thus remain free), start clearing out. Most stop to embrace Kaija and Elias before retiring to their lodgings.
Ahava, who had hung back while all the commotion played out, comes over to where I stand. I gather her into my arms, using my mind to tell her how grateful I am that she gave me the space I needed through all of this.
She laughs. "I'd never dream of giving you anything less than you needed, love. Just be sure to remember that next time you decide to vex me."
She winks at me, then moves to exchange hugs with Kaija and Elias.
That woman. I haven't even regained my sass, and already she's trying to start a fight. Well, not a real one, of course, but really. Give me a moment, darling.
Kaija, who seems to have regained some strength, as she is now able to stand on her own, hugs Ahava tightly. Then, Ahava and Elias trade hugs. She turns and gives her attention back to me.
"I'll be just outside. Holler for me if you need me." And then she takes her leave.
Goodness do I love that woman.
Elias looks down at Kaija, and then over to me.
"I'd like to speak with Cachexys, now. Alone."
Noooooope. Oh hell no. Hell. To the. No. No, Elias, you are not going to stand all alone in a room with someone who just stood against you, and tried to kill me. Uh-uh.
Kaija sighs, looking from Cachexys to Elias. She stares into his eyes for a moment, then hugs him around his middle, and follows the others out the door.
I shake my head emphatically. They're both crazy.
"I'm not leaving you here alone," I declare. "You were dead not 20 minutes ago. And this piece of filth," I glare at Cachexys, "helped see to that. Nope. I'll stay right where I am."
"Felix," Elias says gently, "I assure you, I am fine. I feel more alive than I have in all the years since the Cataclysm. I also assure you I can handle being left alone with Cachexys. He is...having a difficult time, it seems. I think he needs some direction."
I gawk at Elias. Yep, he's crazy. Maybe that's Kaija's secondary ability, that she makes people crazy.
I spend a good amount of time just looking back and forth between Cachexys and Elias. I give up after I realize he will not have this conversation with me here. I don't like that, but I suppose it isn't actually my call to make. I nod curtly, and make my way out of the room.