Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man
Chapter 2: Clouds
The steady beeping of the IV was what woke me. I could feel things stuck inside of me, and bandages around my head, my chest, and my arms. I couldn't feel any pain, like I was numb, and I realized I probably was. I wonder how many pain killers they had to give me. Slowly, I opened my eyes, not surprised to find the pure white ceiling. I hated how white hospitals were.
I was surprised when I saw the face that was hovering over mine. Daisya stood there, worry etched into every line of his features, and his eyes even seemed a little red and puffy. Quiet sobbing came from somewhere else in the room as well. Relief flooded into Daisya's features, quickly replaced by grief.
"Hey, how're you feeling?" He whispered, suddenly shrinking. There was a chair by the bed, and he had obviously been sitting there for a while. His eyes were sort of drooping, and I could tell he was tired by the way he was unable to hold himself up. I could see who else was there now; Lenalee sat in the corner, crying into her sleeves and staring at me with wide eyes. I tried to give a weak smile, but failed miserably.
"My dad?" I whispered, ignoring Daisya's question. Immediately, Lenalee looked away, her cries getting a little louder, and Daisya made a strange sound in the back of his throat. I tried to remember what had happened, because all I really did remember was bright lights and Mana telling me about when I was a child. "Was there…was there a car crash?"
"Yeah…" Daisya whispered. He didn't seem surprised that I didn't remember. I guess it was common to not be able to really remember something. I tried harder to figure out what I had forgotten, trying to replay the events, but every time I got to the bright lights a burst of pain went through me, though not physically, and my mind shut down.
"What happened?" I demanded, trying to sit up. Daisya pushed me down in a second, not even hesitating.
"Don't bother, Allen. You're just going to get yourself hurt." He muttered, his hand retreating. There was a moment of silence, filled only by the voices in the hall and Lenalee's cries. "Mana…your dad, he got direct impact with the car that collided with you. He wouldn't of had a chance even if you guys didn't flip around, since it caused a broken neck. He ended up breaking three parts of his spine, his arms and legs, and severe head damage that probably happened when his head smashed against the window. I think…I think he tried to get his seatbelt off when you started swerving, and I guess he succeeded, because that was probably when he fell forward and hit his head. The police guess that it happened on the first flip.
"They think you flipped twice, but he died instantly after the first. They say…it's a miracle you're even breathing…" Daisya started to choke on his words, and then he was silent. I could see tears beginning to form in his eyes, but they didn't fall. He was trying to be strong, most likely for me, because my tears were flowing freely. Hysteria began to creep up on me.
"That's impossible…" I gasped out, shaking my head. I was vaguely aware of the pain that caused me, and I started trying to pull the IV cords out of me. Daisya burst forward, holding me down, but this time I struggled. "He's alive…he's in the next room…" I tried to convince myself desperately, to ignore the voice that said Daisya wouldn't lie, that this wasn't a joke. "He told you to do this…he wants to be funny…"
The sound of metal against metal echoed in my ears, the feeling of being jerked around, of pain in my body. I gasped, my mind going white with pain at the images, and I tried to stop them. Mana's face, a trace of a smile in his eyes, his mouth gaping open, blood dripping everywhere, and then…everything went black.
I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up again Lenalee wasn't in the corner now, and Daisya was dozing in the chair, worry lines on his forehead. A nurse was checking my IV cords, and tampering with the machines. She looked down, and when she saw that I was awake she gave me a sad smile.
"Hello, Mr. Walker." She whispered, dropping her hands to her sides. "How are you feeling?" I knew that I wouldn't be able to avoid the question with her, and that it would be easier to cooperate since she needed to know, and I answered honestly.
"I feel fine, a little numb…lost." The last word was whispered, and I looked away. "Did I pass out on my own, or did a doctor knock me out?"
"We helped a little," the nurse admitted. "You should thank your friend. If he hadn't of held you down, you most likely would've ended up causing severe damage to yourself. At the moment, these IV cords are the only things keeping you alive. You lost a lot of blood, young man." I looked at the cords, and saw for the first time what was running through one of them. Pure blood, pushing itself into my system.
"How much longer did I have in that car, before I would have died?" I asked.
"The doctors say you would have maybe lasted another fifteen minutes. As it was, it took them ten minutes to get you here and everything they could do to keep you alive on the way." I nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything else. The nurse looked down on me, and I could see a trace of pity in her eyes. "I am sorry for your loss. It must be such a shock for you."
"Thank you," I whispered, trying to sound a little sincere. I didn't want to talk about this. A light knock on the door caught her attention, saving me. I looked to the door, and was surprised to find someone who didn't look like a doctor or even an adult. Wild red hair was held back by a bright green headband, and an orange scarf was wrapped around what was most likely a thin, smooth neck. The teen stood tall, about as tall as Daisya, with one emerald green eye staring straight at me, the other covered by an eye patch. He looked sort of like a super model, with his khakis and simple black shirt, an expensive-looking, thin black jacket clinging lightly to his shoulders.
"Excuse me," he said, obviously addressing the nurse but still looking straight at me. "This is Allen Walker's room, right?"
"May I ask who you are?" The woman asked, moving around my bed. "I'm afraid visiting hours are over, and only two people may stay the night with him." This confused me. Only Daisya was here.
"I know, I just wanted to talk to him. I got here a little late." He said, his voice both boyish and carefree. It was a pleasant voice, not too deep and not too high.
"He can come in," I muttered before thinking. I could see the nurse purse her lips out of the corner of my eye, but she gave a brisk nod and fled from the room. As soon as she was gone, I glared suspiciously at the redhead. "Who are you?"
"Me? Oh, you know, just an angel here to be your savior." He winked, grinning goofily, and I frowned. Was he trying to be funny? When he realized I wasn't buying it, he let out a soft sigh. "My name's Lavi."
"How do you know me?" I asked cautiously. He shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. Everything he did was carefree, his features calm and serene. He didn't seem like he was the serious type at all.
"I'm supposed to know. That's my job; to know and to help. Currently, I need to help you." His voice was even, almost a monotone, as if he had rehearsed this line many times and was bored of it. Then, he shrugged away from the wall and gave a small bounce with the balls of his feet. Another goofy grin appeared on his face. "You know, you're pretty boring. I'm going to have to show you how to live your life."
"What are you talking about?" I snapped, full out glaring at him now. He rolled his eyes, leaning towards me.
"I said I'm here to help, didn't I?" his expression became soft, and he seemed to be watching for my reactions now. "The second you saw his face, you died inside. Your faith was lost in absolutely everything. You lost your will to live. Sometimes, when a loved one dies, especially when it happens right in front of a person, they can't handle it. It doesn't matter if it hasn't registered in your mind yet that the person's dead, it happens in a split second. Just the thought of not having them in their life sends them into a frenzy-the second it actually happens, there's no hope. I need to prevent that."
"What…?" I whispered, but I was unable to finish. I could feel a tight knot in my throat, his words echoing in my head. The second you saw his face…lose your will to live…dead…I tried to clear my head, to ignore the pain that was coming, but it was impossible. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as I tried not to cry.
"I'm sorry, Allen." The voice was so sincere, that I couldn't help but believe it. I opened my eyes again, still fighting the pain, and nodded gently. Then, I asked the question that I had wanted to ask.
"What do you mean you need to prevent it? You make it sound like your some sort of guardian angel." I asked, pretending that I had gotten over his words. I added a little sarcasm, just to make it a bit more convincing, but I had a feeling he could see straight through me.
"I am, Allen. No joke, either." I stared at him, looking at how serious he was. After a moment, I started to laugh. The dead sound faded when the serious look stayed, and I stared at him without a trace of humor. He sighed again, his face leaving the serene mask and showing instead a desperate look that sometimes Daisya would give me, a look that asked for me to believe him. "I'm a guardian angel, sent from heaven to watch over you and make sure you don't do anything drastic. I'm not joking, Allen." He paused, and then smiled a little. "Which means, I don't really have a place to stay. I guess I'm just going to have to take a room from your house."
"You're not staying at my house," I snapped, wincing at the thought. I didn't even know if I would want to return there. "And who the hell do you think I am, anyways? How am I supposed to believe that you're an angel?"
"Well, you're going to have to," he said, shrugging. "Or, I guess you don't. Either way, I'm going to be around a whole lot more often." I was about to say something, but he put his hand up, hushing me. He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Time's up. I'll see you later."
"Hey, wait!" I insisted, but I watched in astonishment as he faded away, right in front of my eyes, disappearing completely from the room without having moved from his spot. The only thing left was a wisp of green smoke, which quickly drifted into nothingness.
"Oh, Allen, you're awake!" I jumped, looking to the door. Lenalee stood there, holding an armful of food and a couple cans of pop. She seemed a bit more happy since I last saw her, and I understood what the nurse had said now. The girl looked at Daisya, rolled her eyes, and kicked his chair. He jumped, sitting up abruptly and looking around. When he saw me awake and Lenalee standing there with her arms full, he laughed a little, blushing.
"I guess I fell asleep…" he muttered. Lenalee and Daisya took to the food, apologizing that I wasn't aloud to have any, but I didn't pay any attention. Had I been imagining things just then? Was I hallucinating? Just what did they put in me to get me to sleep, anyways? I decided that whatever they had put in my system had caused a strange hallucination, and closed my eyes.
Before I fell asleep again, I noticed the nurse from earlier poking her nose in, looking around suspiciously for something or someone, and the last image that entered my head before I took on a black, dreamless sleep, was of a redheaded boy with large white wings and a white robe.
"Allen, wake up," someone hissed in my ear. I opened my eyes slowly, looking into familiar green eyes. Daisya hovered over me, looking a little concerned, and I looked past his shoulder to find it was still dark through the window.
"What time is it?" I asked, focusing in on Daisya again. He shrugged, leaning back and looking relieved.
"Around four in the morning." He answered, keeping his eyes trained on me. It felt like he was waiting for me to break down and start sobbing at any second. I looked around the room, and saw that Lenalee was sleeping in her chair, her face looking peaceful and her hair no longer in pigtails. Daisya glanced at her, and then smiled. "I'm surprised she's still here," he said.
"Why?" I asked. "I mean, she doesn't need to be here, and I feel bad that she's staying here because of me, but still…why?"
"Well…today was the first day she ever really talked to us, and we only had about a half an hour of conversing before my mom called me with the news. When I told her she would have to go home, she just refused." He looked a little confused as he explained to me, and then laughed. "I guess that's Lenalee Lee for you. She's supposed to be the kindest person in the whole school, and I'm starting to think they're right."
"I'm glad," I said softly. Daisya looked at me, surprised. "I'm glad you made a new friend."
"Well, you did too." He pointed out, but I just shook my head. His face fell, and I stared at me with what looked like fear. "Allen…are you okay?"
"Daisya…I don't know if I can deal with this." I whispered. "I don't know if I can live here, with all of these memories. I don't even know what I'll do from now on, now that I don't have any parents. Where am I supposed to live? They'll shift me off to some foster home away from here, and we'll never see each other again. That's just the way it works."
"You can still live in the house, though!" Daisya sat up, his eyes wide. "It was your dad's, and I'm sure he made a will somewhere saying that he gave you all his possessions for when he died…"
"Daisya, this isn't some fairy tale movie." I whispered. My heart was beginning to ache as I voiced the thoughts that I had been having since I had somewhat accepted Mana's death. "Mana never had any motive to make a will before, so why would he bother? Why not accept the worst, Daisya? It makes it easier, doesn't it?"
"No it doesn't!" Daisya snapped, standing up. "It just means you're running away! Stop talking nonsense, Allen. You're not leaving this town. You're just in shock right now." My mouth fell open, and I stared up at my best friend in surprise. He'd never yelled at me before; wined, complained, shouted stupid things, even using a deadly whisper that could send shivers up my spine, but he had never yelled at me before. I'd never seen him angry with me. "What you're going to go through over the next little while will be tough, but if it's you then I know you can pull through, you idiot! You're always giving advice to other people in trouble or in pain, but you never take it for yourself. Well, I've had enough! It's about damn time you think about listening to your own advice! It's not like you're alone in this, Allen…we all have to deal with his death…but if you can't be strong, then how can we? It only just happened, I know, and I know I should just let you mourn for the first couple of days, but I know you. It could have happened only a couple of minutes ago and you would have the strength to smile and be yourself."
"You're making me sound better than I am." I muttered, before he could say anything else. Daisya laughed bitterly.
"No I'm not. That's just how you are, no jokes." He smiled at me, tears in his eyes now. This shocked me; Daisya never really cried. Even when his father had disappeared into the night, leaving him alone with his two siblings and still pregnant mother, Daisya had not cried. I felt both honored and guilty as I watched a single tear escape and roll down Daisya's face. However, I didn't seem to have it in me to smile for him, to give him the false sense that I would be okay. I knew that if I could smile, even if he could see through it right away and knew it would be short lived, then he would be satisfied. I couldn't, though. It was like my face refused to do anything but continue to give the same blank look.
"I'm sorry." I said, a little louder than most of my other words. "I can't pretend. Not this time." The boy was silent, not disappointed but not happy either. Finally, he gave a soft nod.
"Alright, I won't push you for now. After all…it only happened a few hours ago. I'll give you some time, Allen, but you have to promise me that when I say 'time's up', you'll smile for me." he looked at me, so serious and gravely, that I could only nod, although in the back of my head I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep this promise. I was pretty sure I was still in shock over Mana's death, which was why I wasn't crying or throwing things around or staring blankly out a window, and once the shock wore off…I would have to ask the nurse for absolutely no visitors when the night was over, with absolutely no exceptions. I couldn't let Daisya see me fall apart.
When the sun rose completely, and it became around seven o'clock, Lenalee woke up. After our conversation, Daisya and I hadn't said anything to each other at all, giving me time to think some things over while he disappeared somewhere for a half an hour. When he came back, I could smell the smoke coming off him, but I didn't say anything this time-I was afraid of sounding like a hypocrite. So when Lenalee woke up, both of us were a little relieved.
"That's right…there's school today." I muttered, as Lenalee stretched and yawned. Both paused, looking at each other and then at me, and I understood what they were thinking. "You guys go. I'll be fine here, and besides, it's boring at a hospital. There's not much you can do." I said kindly, still not smiling. They didn't look too convinced, but when I looked at Daisya and briefly let my guard down, allowing him to see the hidden pain, the hidden agony of everything that had just happened, he nodded.
"All right. We'll be back later, then." He whispered, and I bit my lip. I couldn't say it, I couldn't tell him what I would be requesting soon, so that he wouldn't see what was bound to come. He stood up, not mentioning my nervous habit, and walked to the side of the bed. As he stared at me, a strange emotion I couldn't name on his face-guilt? Grief?-I raised a taped up, wired arm and gave a small wave. Maybe it was how casual I was able to act without smiling, or maybe he just finally broke, but Daisya fell, right on top of me.
"Daisya…?" I whispered, placing my raised hand onto the top of his head in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. He wrapped his arms around me, even with the blankets, and I could feel his body convulsing as he cried silently into my chest. I didn't hug him, I didn't say anything, I just kept my hand on the top of his head, while Lenalee stood there, one hand on Daisya's lower back while the other continuously wiped away her own tears. I didn't cry, though. I knew that would come later, and they would last a long time, maybe years.
"Allen…promise me…" he whispered. I knew what he was talking about, since I had never actually said the words 'I promise', and let out a soft sigh.
"I don't know…" I whispered back. "I don't have the strength you think I do. The one who supported my strength…he's gone."
"I'm still here." His voice was only slightly louder, but it wavered. "Aren't I?"
"Yes…you are," I admitted, "but I don't know if it's enough. I know it sounds selfish, and I don't mean to say that our friendship isn't strong enough…but Daisya, he's gone. Nothing will bring him back, no matter what I do. He rose me, he taught me wrong and right, he was there for me every step of the way through my childhood, even during the toughest of times that no one else could be there for. And now…he's gone."
Saying it really made it too obvious for me, and what I thought wouldn't come for another couple of hours at least started to surface. I needed to get Daisya and Lenalee out, before they saw it. I needed to hold it in, if just for a few minutes. "Go to school. Be happy for me, okay? Happy enough for the both of us…"
"He's right, Daisya. It won't do any good if all of us start to break down." Lenalee whispered, her hand falling from said boy's back. "Let's go…we have to support him in any way we can, right?" Daisya let go of me, his eyes red, and he nodded mutely. Before he left, he leaned over me, his lips touching my forehead lightly, maybe lingering a little too long, and then he gave me a small, lopsided smile.
"Tear apart the hospital for me, will you? It's the only thing I've never been aloud to do, since I've never really been sick." He waved, walking out of the room before anything else was said. I had a feeling he needed to get away before he started crying again. Lenalee stood there, looking a little awkward and out of place before giving me a warm, sad smile.
"Don't worry, Allen. I know what it's like to lose your parents…it's not easy, but with the right support, things will start to get better. I guess that's why I never take anything for granted." She gave me a small wave before stepping out of the room, a hint of a tear beginning to show itself. When the door closed behind her, I let loose. They wouldn't come back if they heard me…they knew, I could tell, why I wanted them out.
The scream was long, and even to my ears, even as the one making the agonizing sound, it sounded like the most painful, excruciating thing I had ever heard. It was pathetic. The door didn't open, even when the scream turned into screams, even as tears began to fall from my eyes, even as my voice became hoarse and my throat hurt, and I was left alone, completely alone, with no one.
After that, I wasn't really sure what happened. I vaguely remember that after five hours of hysterics and crying, a doctor finally came in, and, in a voice barely understandable, I had made my request for no visitors. After that, everything was just a blur. I didn't eat, I didn't speak, I didn't do anything but stare out the window.
My mind was blank. There were no thoughts, just a dark abyss where only every now and then a few colors could be seen. It lasted for days. No one came to see me, the doctors continued to treat me with the usual medication, and for five days I just sat, staring out the window like a zombie. Once a day now, a nurse would come in and force feed me, giving me words like 'unhealthy' and 'unnecessary'. A different nurse had to start coming after the original had mentioned my father and how he would have wanted me to be happy. To say the least, that woman would probably need a vacation and some serious therapy after the things I said to her.
On the sixth day, I finally started eating on my own. Thoughts finally started to actually form in my head, instead of just random spastics when someone mentioned Mana. Instead of just having an expressionless mask, I started to frown and show the fact that I was sad. I was waking up from my coma. After a full week of being a zombie, I finally fully recovered, my eating habits picking up again, and I started making idle conversation for the sake of the nurse, who seemed almost scared of me sometimes.
The doctor was happy with my improvement, saying that usually the shock of a loved one's death could last a lot longer, although I wasn't sure if he was just trying to comfort me, and told me that as soon as my injuries healed then I could probably go home. Wherever home was, that is. I didn't want to return to that house, that much I was sure of, but I had no relatives that I knew of, and I didn't have any money to rent an apartment, or the qualifications for a well enough paying job. Everything was pointing towards being a foster child.
I started walking on the ninth day. I was tired of using those stupid tubes to go to the washroom in, and they were utterly embarrassing when a nurse had to clean them out. So, after voicing my concerns when the doctor made his daily visit, he had suggested standing.
"You don't have any broken bones or anything, you just might be a little stiff after nine days of no physical activity at all." The doctor explained, holding his hand out to me as I tried my hardest to shove myself off the bed. "Also, be careful of your head. It did get some pretty bad damage after being bashed around. It hasn't been too much of a problem yet, since you haven't been doing anything much, but we have no idea what might happen if you stand up. If you feel dizzy or anything, tell me immediately."
"Alright," I muttered. Cautiously, I placed my feet on the floor, aware of the eyes on me as I clutched at my portable IV rack. Using the metal pole as my support, I lifted myself up, standing for the first time in a week and a half. My legs were weak and shaky, and my head was a little dizzy, but I didn't mention this to the doctor. Instead, I took my first step, and when I didn't topple over I decided it was a good sign and took another step.
"Very good," the doctor said, smiling. I just nodded, concentrating on my walking as I headed for the bathroom on the other side of the hall. "Would you like some help in there?"
"No, I'll be fine, thank you." I whispered, and even though it took me about twice as long as a normal person would take, I eventually reached my destination. I was extremely proud, almost feeling like smiling and giving the victory sign, but like usual I just gave a blank stare, pushing the door open and entering. The first thing I noticed was my reflection, and seeing it made me want to gag.
They had taken the bandages off my head a couple of days ago, saying that the cuts would be able to heal on their own without any sort of help, but they had never mentioned the huge scar lining my forehead, stitched and healing with gross pus here and there along it. I wasn't sure how I hadn't noticed it before. My hair was shorter now, probably because they had to get the blood out, and now only went along my jaw line instead of to my shoulders. Huge bags were under my eyes, and my skin was so pale, I almost thought I actually was a zombie. My eyes weren't their usual vibrant silver color, but a dull gray.
Tearing my gaze away from the horrible creature in the mirror, I noticed for the first time that my left arm had been revealed. How I had been so dense, I really wasn't sure, but panic began to raise up in me. Lenalee had seen…! But, she hadn't acted any different towards me. Maybe that was the real reason Daisya had accepted her presence so easily that night. He must have noticed how Lenalee had said nothing.
"Allen, are you okay?" the doctor's voice asked kindly, and I looked back at him. Why didn't he care? Didn't he see the hideously deformed left arm? The way it was shriveled up and black, and how it had an unusual pattern along the shoulder, where it obviously disconnected? My fists clenched, and I shook my head gently.
"No, nothing's wrong. I'll be finished in a minute." I shut the door, and rubbed a hand over my face. Taking in deep breaths, I went over to the toilet. Truthfully, I actually did have to go to the washroom, but it would be nice to get a couple minutes alone and not in that horrid bed. When I had finished, feeling refreshed enough after washing my face, I started for the door, but the sound of urgent voices stopped me.
"Please, sir! He's asked for no visitors!" It was the nurse's voice, the one who had taken over, and the image of a redheaded teenager popped into my head. Had he come again, to prove that I had not been delusional? I had been thinking about that incident quite a bit, actually. It seemed to be safer than anything else to think about, since everything else was just painful. Instead, I imagined him coming around and spreading wings before carrying me off and forcing me into some dark basement until I cracked and started going insane. Sometimes, I thought I even saw him standing there in the room with me, but that was during my period of blackness, so it was doubtful he actually had.
However, the voice that answered was not a teenager's. In fact, it was almost completely unfamiliar, with only a slightly familiar sound to it, like some long lost memory. "I don't care what that idiot wants, I have business with him." I paused at the door, my hand hovering over the doorknob, as I racked my brains for the voice. I already knew it was useless, since I was so forgetful, so I just turned the knob and pushed the door open. As soon as I saw the intruder, though, I remembered him exactly.
"M…master?" I whispered, horrified. His shaggy mane of red hair seemed a little tidier than usual, and his glasses weren't on. He wore a long black trench coat, but instead of looking suspicious or like a spy he just looked like a normal business man, and he stood at least a foot taller than me. This man was definitely not someone I would expect to visit.
"Oh, good, you remember me." He said in his deep, dangerous voice. I winced. Of course I remembered him. I had been the one who had begged for piano lessons, after all. I hadn't expected someone so unbelievably cruel to be the one to teach me. In the end, I had definitely ended up learning piano, but the mere thought of touching a piano after that always sent a small reminder of pain.
"What do you want?" I asked, my voice quavering a little. I still remembered how he had gotten me into calling him Master. I shivered at the thought, unable to look the man in the face.
"So Mana actually died, huh? That idiot." Rage surged through me, but I knew I wouldn't win if I started an argument. Instead, I glared stubbornly at the floor, still refusing to meet his gaze. "Whatever. Anyways, I would've been here sooner but I only got the call a couple of days ago. Those idiots didn't look at Mana's will carefully enough."
"Mana had a will?" I asked immediately, looking at him full on for the first time. Maybe there was something in my face that had done it, but the second our eyes met Master cringed. "Why would you…know about that? You were just…just a piano teacher…"
"Keh, I'm more than that, idiot boy." Cross Marian rolled his eyes, and plopped himself into a chair. I had a feeling I was about to hear more than I wanted to. "Hey, do you mind giving us some privacy?" He was talking to the doctor now, who looked a little dumbfounded. At the question, he looked at me. I just nodded, and he seemed to sigh in relief before ushering out the nurse as he left the room.
"So, what was in Mana's will?" I asked as the door shut. Cross just looked at me, assessing something or rather in my behavior or the way I was standing, I really wasn't sure. After a moment, I headed over to the bed and sat down, not really impatient, it was just that my legs were starting to get a little too shaky. After what seemed like hours, he finally answered me.
"Before that…I have to tell you a story, sort of." He said, pulling out a cigarette. Immediately, I reached for the emergency button that would summon the doctors and nurses. "What the hell's your problem?"
"This is a no smoking zone, Cross," I snapped. The sharp look he gave me made me regret it, and I bit my lip. "Master."
"That's a little bit better, but don't think that just because you're injured I'm going to go all soft and easy on you." He snapped, putting the smoke back. I knew this wasn't a lie, but I was grateful he was listening to me, if only because he didn't want to get kicked out of the hospital or have any other trouble. "Anyways, it all began before you were ever around. Your idiot father and I…see, seventeen years ago I walked into this bar, because I was visiting this town, since I was super famous and all. Anyways, your dad was sitting next to the last empty spot, since the bar was so busy that night, and so I sat down next to him. At first we didn't even bother acknowledging one another, but then this chick fell over and landed on top of him, and I helped her up, and then there was this joke…
"Well, after that, we started talking. I ended up giving him my phone number, so that he could call in case he ever got in trouble, since he was a pretty good guy and all. A couple weeks later he gave me a call seeing if I wanted to go out drinking, and that's when we really started to become acquaintances." He paused, taking on a look as if remembering something from long ago. I scoffed, un-amused.
"Cut the crap. I can tell you're lying." I snapped, and the nostalgic look disappeared. A long sigh came from his lips, and he leaned back.
"Your dad and I have known each other a long time. I guess I should say used to know now, huh? The details are unnecessary, but it all comes down to the fact that we became secret support. My job was to cover for him, and his job was to cover for me. Now, I'm covering for him. This is where his will comes in." Cross ran a hand over his face, letting it drop back into his lap afterwards. "His will clearly states that you get everything; his money, his house, his clothes, his furniture, everything right down to the dust bunnies under the bed. You would've gotten his car, but that's just plain gone. The only thing that's in the will that doesn't involve you, is who takes care of you. That's where I come in."
My eyes widened as the full meaning of his words hit me. "You're my guardian?" I asked, incredulous. Cross laughed, shaking his head.
"My job isn't as a guardian for you…" He let out another heavy sigh. For some reason, it seemed like there was something more behind those words. "No, what I need to do, because Mana willed it, is take care of you. You know, make sure you get enough money to feed yourself and stuff. Other than that, I have no responsibility over you. Basically, I'm what you need to stay in this town."
"What if I don't want to stay?" I whispered, not looking at him. He scoffed, copying my previous action.
"You have too much here to give up, even if you just lost someone important. One person compared to all of the people here that you know, I'd say it's pretty useless just leaving." His words didn't really make much sense, but I still understood. I knew that if I decided to start arguing with him, then the calm Cross Marian would soon be replaced by the hideous piano teacher, Master. "Well, that's all for today."
"Alright." Cross stood, heading towards the door, and I only realized what he had said when he reached the door. As he disappeared, I swore I heard him say 'give Lavi my regards', and I stood up so fast that I had to sit back down again. "What? Hey, how do you know Lavi? Who is he?" I called, but it was too late. He was gone, leaving the door opened as he walked away. As he disappeared into the crowd, I swore I saw a bit of red smoke rising into the air, but I decided it was probably just my imagination.
He knew the redhead…maybe, if he comes again, I can get some answers. I thought, but I knew it was probably pointless. Besides, he could of actually said a completely different name, like Larry or something, and I had just misunderstood because I had been thinking about my delusion a lot lately.
However, Cross did not come again. Once I stopped getting shaky legs after just going to the washroom, I started to walk around the hospital, enjoying the new found freedom much more than being cooped up in that same room day in and day out. I began to spend most of my time in the courtyard, taking in the fresh air like a lifesaver.
Three days passed without incident, and still I asked for no visitors. In only a couple of days I would be released, ready to go home and, if I was feeling up to it mentally, start school again. I already knew I would probably stay home a couple of days before that, because I would need getting used to of the house that was now a haunting memory.
On the third day, I was sitting on my usual bench, just staring off into space, like usual. Nothing new seemed to be happening now, and I wondered if maybe I would be able to sort out my life with the time I was currently being presented with. In truth, I hadn't really thought much about it, since I had been in a coma-like state for a week, and had been thinking too much about other things since Cross had come, so now seemed like the perfect opportunity. There was no one here to disturb me, and the nurses wouldn't be coming to get me for another two hours, so why not take the much needed time to sort out the things I had been neglecting?
My eyes began to stray, falling on each person that I saw for a few seconds, and I took notice of some of their features for something to do as I began to think. It seemed like something or someone didn't like me very much, though, as my eyes fell on a too-familiar (although I had only seen it once) wild array of red hair. This wasn't the same as Cross', since his hair was actually long and not quite as messy. Instead, it pretty much just fell around the boy's face, since it wasn't being held back by a bright green headband this time.
His single eye met mine, and a sly grin spread across his lips, which began to move. He was talking, I realized, to the young nurse in front of him, even though his eye never left mine. I noticed his clothing was different this time, too. Instead of the super model clothes, he was wearing a white lab coat and scrubs, looking exactly like a doctor if it weren't for the fact that he looked to be only seventeen or eighteen. He began to walk towards me, waving absently behind him as he said goodbye to the nurse.
"Well, if it isn't my precious subject." The redhead said cheerily, placing his hands behind his head in a relaxed manner. "How're you?"
"Go away, you're not supposed to be real," I muttered unintelligibly. This only made him laugh, which irked me.
"Wow, you're sort of dense, huh?" He asked, taking a seat next to me. I was glad the IV stand was in between us, otherwise I would probably end up hurting myself by trying to hurt him. "I'm not your imaginary friend. Everyone here can see me. Guardian angels aren't those stupid winged freaks who no one else can see or hear but their subject, and have super poltergeist powers and influencing powers. Basically, we're just your normal human being, we just aren't technically alive."
"So…you don't have wings?" I asked, a little disappointed. Well, hey, if this was a dream or something I may as well indulge.
"I never said that, I just said that people make stupid rumors. Nah, I have wings, it's just that all of these people are under the impression that all angels have white wings or that the wings are like eagle wings or something. No, angel wings all depend on the person, and they can only use their wings when they're in heaven, or when their subject really needs them and calls on them. We can also use our wings whenever it's convenient for us, but we can't do it in public eye."
"So you can use your wings whenever…you just make up excuses why you can't?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
"Well, yes and no. We have rules in 'angel town'. We can't reveal who we are to anyone but our subject, and we are not under any jurisdiction to listen to anyone but our subject, and only if the question or command is reasonable or necessary at the time, blah, blah, blah." He gave me a cheeky grin as if to say 'stupid, huh?'
"Wow…that's real convincing…" I muttered sarcastically, rolling my eyes. The grin on Lavi's face fell slightly, but was quickly brought back up.
"Well, I'll convince you over time." He said absently. "By the way, are you ever going to let those friends of yours come and see you? They come here every day to see if they can see you, and they're starting to look a little helpless. I think you should let them at least know you're all right." He rambled, but I shook my head gently. How could I show them I was all right when I wasn't? "Fine, whatever. I guess I'll have to be in doctor attire for a little while longer, then."
"Why are you dressed like that anyways, and how are you getting away with it?" I asked curiously, cocking my head to the side. Lavi just shrugged, pulling on the sleeve of the lab coat.
"I can pretend to be whoever and whatever I want, so long as it's a human. It just takes a bit of memory tampering is all, and that's really not all that hard to do. Actually, it's sort of fun. Anyways, because you're not letting anyone visit, I need to find a way to see you without getting kicked out." He winked, or maybe blinked. I became curious about the eye patch he was wearing, wondering if there was no eye behind it or if it was just for show.
"Hey, do you know a man named Cross Marian?" I asked, remembering the man and his indiscernible words as he had left. Lavi's expression fell from a relaxed, teasing grin into a disapproving frown. I took that as a yes, and immediately asked my next question before he could attempt to deny it. "How do you know him? Did you know my father, too?"
"No, I didn't know your father." Lavi said, a little stiffly. I wasn't really surprised about this, since he was maybe only a year or two older than me, but for some reason I still felt a little disappointed. He didn't say anything after that, completely avoiding my questions about Cross. Something told me he wouldn't be telling me anything about that any time soon.
"Well…" Now it just felt awkward. I felt like I had completely ruined the mood the redhead had been in. "So, uh, where do you come from?"
"Haha, what do you mean? Like, where was I born when I was alive?" he asked, his one eye rolling to look at me. I nodded mutely, wishing I had a hood to pull over my face. When he looked at me, it made me feel self-conscious, and I had no idea why. It was like he was peering into my soul or something, able to read absolutely everything about me, as if I would never be able to lie to him. "Well, I'm pretty sure I was born somewhere in Europe…maybe Italy or something. I can't remember that far back. My mother dearest conceived me in the eighteen hundreds or something."
"You're that old?" I asked, shocked. Lavi just shrugged, pointing at his nose.
"Angel, remember?" He stated calmly, then dropped his hand. "Anyways, since you were probably going to ask some time soon because you're a curious little shit, I'll just tell you how I died right now." I winced when he swore, not really used to foul language coming out of anyone's mouth but Daisya's. "So, I was walking down the street one night, right? The old geezer, my grandpa, was walking with me, but then this chick suddenly dropped to the ground screaming in pain, and some guy was running away from her. So, being the youngest out of the two of us, the geezer sent me running after the guy while he went to go and check out what was wrong with the girl.
"So I ran after the guy, and I ended up tackling him because I'm just that much faster than him. The bastard had a knife in his hands, and tried cutting me, but I dodged and blocked and did all these really cool moves to avoid getting hit, and then I hit him around the face, and blood splattered everywhere!" Excitement was present in his eyes now, as he sat up straighter and became more animated.
"Lavi, get to the point." I interrupted, not feeling like listening to him talking about how many punches he threw or how many hits he got in. Guys had a tendency to go into every little detail and end up exaggerating everything when they started talking about fights, and though I was also a male I didn't really enjoy talking about that kind of stuff. Lavi's face fell immediately, and he gave me a sort of offended look.
"Fine, be that way." He muttered, his face turning into a grumpy pout. I wanted to pat his head and say 'Now, now, don't cry. We can get you another cookie tomorrow, and we'll make sure that one doesn't fall on the ground.' "He had a couple of friends who were standing around and one stabbed me in the chest with a sword. The end."
"Ouch." I winced at the thought of being stabbed, but I noticed how Lavi was still pouting. His voice had been pretty dead, too, when he had finished the story. "Wow, you're seriously that upset because I told you to hurry up?" He gave a firm nod, and I rolled my eyes. "Well, if it helps, I'm sorry."
"It doesn't help." Lavi muttered, glaring at the trees now. I held back the laugh that was threatening to escape.
"Then I guess there's nothing I can do, sir," I stated solemnly, putting a hand to my heart. "We really will have to go through with the operation."
"What are you doing, killing my dog?" Lavi remarked sarcastically, looking at me from the corner of his eye. Though he was able to say it with a straight face, I could see a twinkle in his eye. I couldn't help it; I laughed. Immediately his face went from a frown into the biggest smile I had seen yet. My laughs faded, and I stared in wonder at the boy, who looked so happy and so serene in that moment that it was like time had stopped. "You laughed." He whispered.
"I what?" I muttered, and then my brain picked up on what he was talking about. "Oh…oh." I whispered, the small smile that had been there before falling away. Everything seemed to dull in color, all except for that smile. Being so preoccupied with him had made me forget, briefly, about being at a hospital, about Mana, and about life. After a moments silence, both of us looked away from each other from the sudden awkward moment, looking off to who knew where. "Thanks."
"For what?" Lavi asked, neither of us looking at each other as we spoke. I imagined a classical movie scene between two best friends, and laughed dryly at the irony.
"I don't know." I whispered, and decided to go with the whole cheesy scene. "I guess, for being here with me. So far, both times I've seen you, I've laughed. It's weird, huh, how those kinds of things work out? You know…I don't really like you." His face fell from understanding to a mope in the corner of my eye. "I mean, you kind of annoy me, with the way you're so relaxed all the time, and yet manage to be so obnoxious. I've met you twice, and both times you have successfully managed to confuse the hell out of me and annoy me in some way. But, I guess I can't really say anything, considering that whenever you're around…" I stopped, blushing.
"Whenever I'm around, what?" Lavi asked, getting excited. His mood swings were making me dizzy.
"It's nothing." I chimed, patting him on the head and standing up. "I'm going to head back inside, I need to go to the washroom." I said innocently, beginning to walk away. Lavi stood up, following after me.
"That's totally unfair!" he wined, keeping his pace matched with mine.
"What do you mean?" I asked airily, waving my hand in the air. His footsteps faltered and then stopped, and I paused to glance back at him. However, he wasn't looking at me, but at something else. I was about to follow his gaze when he spoke, his voice quiet and urgent.
"Allen…go back inside, and don't come back out for the rest of the day. Promise me that, okay?" He said, and then walked off in the direction he was staring. I watched him walk off, unable to see what could be over there that could be so threatening. I stood there for a minute, just watching him, until a light tap on the shoulder reminded me where I was.
"Excuse me, sir, but you're in the middle of the path and we need to get by. If you'd like, I could get a nurse to help you back to your room." It was a nurse I didn't recognize, and I was glad that my own nurse had given me a long sleeved shirt to wear from now on.
"No thank you," I muttered, and started walking. That was the last time I saw the redhead during my stay at the hospital, and the whole time afterwards all I could do was wonder what had happened that had made him walk off like that.
After another two days I was given the okay to leave. I had thoroughly convinced myself that the boy named Lavi had been an illusion, someone I had made up in my mind to keep me company during a hard time. I still wondered why my annoying imaginary friend had walked off, but otherwise I had put him out of my mind.
It wasn't that hard to forget about him on the day I left, since I was very easily distracted as soon as I saw who was picking me up. "Why are you here?!"
"Idiot boy, I told you I was going to be taking care of you." Cross snapped, turning into Master. I wasn't sure when I started giving him two separate personalities, but so far he was definitely sticking to them.
"Great…Maybe I should injure myself so I can stay here." I muttered, only half joking, as I slipped into the cheap station wagon Master was leaning against. As I was closing the door, he hit me on the back of the head, walking around the car to the other side. I slammed the door shut, disgruntled as my vision became a little blurry.
I had been distracted by the appearance of my ex-piano teacher, but now I had plenty of time to take in the fact that I was entering a car for the first time since the night of the accident. My heart raced as I slipped on the seatbelt, the thing that had probably saved my life that night, and ignored the slight twinge of pain that accompanied it. I hadn't forgotten the large bruise across my chest, the exact same length and size as a seat belt, but that had been the price to pay in order to live.
Honestly, though…why bother paying any price? There was no point any more.
"Hey, no freaky suicide thoughts, all right?" Master snapped as he got into the car. At first I thought he had read my mind or something, but then I realized that he had probably just meant he didn't want me being a cutter or killing myself.
"Whatever you say," I whispered. There was no point in telling him that at all times in the back of my mind, darker thoughts were swirling, waiting to be called upon. The car started, nothing else being said as he drove through town, my heart racing the whole time.
We reached the house, and I could feel my hands shaking and the sweat on my palms as I got out of the car, no longer wearing hospital scrubs but instead a pair of baggy sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt. Cross went first, now much calmer than before, and I followed after him hesitantly. He opened the door with a key he shouldn't of had, kicking it open and entering carelessly. An odd stench like alcohol drifted through, and I knew he had been staying here since he had come and seen me the other day.
I didn't look at anything, walking straight up the stairs and ignoring everything else, going straight for my room, the only place that Mana had never really gone into, the only place where I wouldn't suffer from too many memories. It was only when I opened the door that I remembered what exactly my 'imaginary' friend had said about staying with me.
End Chapter
YAY! This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written, and I plan on making all of my chapters from now on around this length. The ending is a little rushed because I wanted to have a bit of a break from writing, but at the same time I really wanted to get this chapter out today, so it's a bit rushed. There are probably a few errors here and there, and I probably hinted a little too strongly about some things about Cross, but whatever. Anyways, I hope you liked it, and I hope you review to let me know what you think, good or bad.