CHAPTER II: VADER, SIDIOUS AND NAMIALUS RIDE TO DISNEY WORLD
Setting: The three Sith Lords are on the TARDIS Way, which is the subway they are using to get to Disney World, which, in this case, is an actual planet. (Hyperspace reminds me of a subway, and 'Disney World' sounds like a planet.) It spans from one end of the galaxy to the other, and goes to every planet in-between.
Not only does this subway transport people, but it also transports goods. They have a row of 314 TARDIS-class starships that are set aside to be rented out. They are similar to limousines.
{Anywho, on to the story!}
[Vader, Sidious and Namialus sitting in the subway seats next to each other, Vader is giddy, bouncing up and down in his left window seat, wearing Mickey Mouse ears, Sidious' face is concealed in his hood, he has the middle, Namialus is leaning onto the wall, looking out the window on his right window seat]
DV: [still bouncing, looks at Sidious, who he doesn't realize is sleeping] Hey, hey, Master. [nudges Sidious] Isn't this exciting? We're going to Disney World!
DN: Quiet down, you buffoon! You're being too loud. Don't disturb what's left of the peace that's on this infernal contraption . . . I. Need. PEACE. PEACE, I TELL YOU, PEACE. [shakes hands, then leans chin onto hand, closes eyes] Peeeeeeeeacccccee . . .
DV: Uhhh . . . o-kaaaay. [slumps in chair, crosses arms] Party pooper.
DN: [opens eyes suddenly] WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?
DV: [in back-sassing voice] Quiet down, Namialus. You're being too loud.
DN: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! [tackles Vader furiously]
DV: WHAT THE GUNDARK—[yelps repeatedly in pain] Ah! OW! AHH! GUH—ouch—heeeey!
DN: TAKE IT BACK YOU IGNORANT CHILD! I SAID TAKE IT BACK!
DV: Ahh—OWWW—guh, n-never—AHH! OKAY, THAT'S IT! [shoves Namialus into the wall]
DN: [body creates deep dent in wall, falls out of dent, looks over shoulder, sees dent] Oh, you are *so* paying for that.
DV: Not if you pay for it first, you big meanie! [ignites saber]
DN: Oh, so you wanna play dirty, huh? [ignites twin crimson lightsabers, one at a time] Are you sure a little boy like you is ready for that? [assumes fighting stance] Cos daddy's ready to give out spankings tonight!
DV: [stands upright, balls fists at sides] DON'T YOU SPANK ME! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! [charges at Namialus, swings sabers rigorously]
[Now Vader and Namialus have recruited a whole starship full of spectators, and they are all watching intently at what the Sith Lords are doing to each other]
DN: [swings sabers also, clashes with Vader, begins to laugh lowly, in soft voice] You think you can defeat me. [pushes Vader back with great force, Vader falls into the laps of some spectators] You are sadly mistaken.
[Meanwhile, the starship goes through a cloud nebula which causes some turbulence in the ship. For about 10 seconds, it is very strong and suddenly wakes up Sidious, who was drooling on himself. Sidious sees Vader on top of some riders and Namialus coming slowly at him with his lightsabers.]
DS: [groggily] Namialus? Vader? What are you doing to each other?
DV: NAMIALUS ATTAC—
DN: [uses hands to muffle Vader's voice] Just practicing, my lord. Vader needs to brush up on his defense. [grins pleasantly]
DS: [naively believes Namialus] Okay, then. Carry on. [begins to snore loudly, drools on self]
DN: [turns head sharply to Vader, raises lightsaber] Now, where were we? [grins evilly]
DV: Oh, no you don't! [parries Namialus quickly]
DN: [jumps back] Oh, I don't, don't I? HA!
DV: Uhm, whut?
[Namialus summons the Ultimate Force, and his eyes turn solidly black and glow. Around him there is a black, fog-like aura that is emanating lightning bolts, and it continues to expand faster and faster. His hands are filled with lightning, and as the aura grows, its appearance being that of a black hole and freaking out all the passengers, the structure of the starship appears to be becoming incoherent and slowly vanishes. He lifts his eyes and screams "Force repulse!" which causes everything to be disintegrated, except a drooling Sidious and the chair he was sitting in. A pile of eyes—all that remained of the other passengers—held a shocked expression in their pupils as they stared at the evil that caused them to perish.]
DV: [shuddering] U-u-uhhh, o-o-okay, o-okay! Y-you're scary, all right!? [hides behind cape]
DN: [smirks evilly] My purpose has been accomplished, then.
DV: [looks around] …idiot.
DN: [turns head sharply] What!?
DV: YOU FREAKING DISINTEGRATED THE SHIP, YOU DUNDERHEAD! NOW HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET TO DISNEY WORLD!? [begins bawling]
DN: That was part of my plan, fool! You think I want to go to Disney World!?
DV: …oh, right, I forgot.
[Sidious wakes up with a snort and a start, a wet spot on his robe from the drool] DS: [looks around frantically] Wh-what the… what happened to the ship? [eyes widen, looks to Namialus] What did you do?
DN: [sweatdrop] What? Why me!? Why do you always assume it was me!?
DS: Because it usually is you!
DN: [sweatdrop]
DS: [facepalm]
DV: [bawling]
DS: Um, Vader, please stop crying. We're going to Disney, OK?
DV: [looks up at Sidious] We are?
DS: Uh, yeah. But we need to catch a cab or something; otherwise we're just going to float here forever…
DN: …how are we even breathing?
DS: [shrugs, gets out holographic communicator and calls the cab service]
Receptionist: Yeah?
DS: Yeah, is this Galaxy Transport? We need a cabby right now.
Rec.: Where are you?
DS: Um… Nam, where are we?
DN: I remember passing Raxus Prime about an hour ago.
DS: Probably somewhere between Raxus Prime and the next planet east.
Rec.: There's a guy within 5 clicks of ya, should be there soon.
DS: Yeah, thanks. [hangs up]
[Random, junky-looking cargo vessel appears pretty much out of nowhere, ramp opens from the bottom of the ship]
DS: [shouts to Chiss driver, boarding the vessel] Hey, you with the cab service?
Chiss: Uhh, sure… take a seat, gentleman.
[Vader, Sidious and Namialus take various seats in the rusty, falling-apart, metal scrapheap and buckle themselves in, Vader becomes giddy again, Sidious goes back so sleeping and drooling on himself, and Nam glances around, taking note of how disgusting it is in there]
Chiss: So… are you guys Sith?
DN: [looks over at him] Yes, we are. You should fear us.
Ch: R-right, right. But, um… whatever happened to the Rule of Two?
DN: [freezes in place] Uhhhh… [cough, cough] Well… it, flew out the window..?
Ch: Eh, fair enough.
DN: [rolls eyes] [whispers] Fool. [looks over to Sidious, whacks his arm]
DS: [wakes up suddenly, snorts] Wh-what? What?
DN: Pay attention.
DS: [wipes drool from mouth] So, what's your name, cabby?
Ch: Oh, my name? Chithi'kio'naasisant—[interrupted]
DV: [complaining tone] That's too long! Don't you have a nickname or something? We can't be wasting our breath calling you that all the time.
Ch: —or, Thikion for short.
DV: Oh. Much better.
DN: [rolls eyes and spins away from Vader's direction in chair, exasperated, huffs]
DS: [glares at Namialus] [cough, turns to Thikion] Um, anyway, we're on our way to [swallow] eh, Disney World. So, uh… take us there, Mr. Thikion Cabby, sir.
THKN: Oh, uh, sure. Whatever you say. [turns from Sidious' sight, evil grin] If you uh, [cough] don't mind me asking, why are you guys heading to Disney?
[Sidious almost speaks, but Vader begins to blabber before he can] DV: I conquered the galaxy, so now I get to do something fun, and I decided that would be going to Disney World.
THKN: What about your friends? They don't look too happy to be accompanying you.
DV: Oh, they're just coming along because—[pause] because… hey, why are you guys coming with me?
DS: Because I have to keep an eye on you.
DV: [looks over to Namialus]
DN: [nonchalantly, sarcastically] I have no idea why I'm here.
DV: Well, there you have it.
THKN: [worried expression, purses lips, looks to the ceiling, turns to face the controls]
[Hmm… these guys are Sith, so they claim. If they're telling the truth, then they seem like a pretty pathetic bunch… if they're lying, well—frankly, they're terrible impersonators.] [Thikion taps buttons, flips switches and pulls levers while twisting his head up and down, watching his hands.
THKN: Hold onto your lunches, gentlemen. We're jumping to hyperspace. [slowly pulls down lever]