Authors Note:// What's this? ANOTHER CHAPTER? NO WAY. Ohmygosh. FANFICTION LET ME UPLOAD. I'm shocked.//:End Authors Note

"O-N-G!!! EDWARD LEFT MEEEE!!!!" Bella yelled.

And suddenly, Jasper appeared out of thin air, "DON'T WORRY BELLA! I'LL LOVE YOU! AND YOU'RE THE MOST POPULAR GIRL EVER YOU'LL HAVE DATES EVERYNIGHT REMEMBER???"

"OH NOEZ!!!! JASPER I THOUGHT YOU LOVED MEEEEEEE!!" Alice yelled, throwing herself at Jacob's shoulder.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? WHERE'S MY LONG LOST HUSBAND EDWARD? BACK OFF ALICE. I'M HOTTER THAN YOOOUUU. AND I'M A PHYSIC MIND READER SO BURN FREAKING BURN." The weird girl from Edward's past yelled.

"…Did you know Rumplestiltiskin is a conspiracy?" Bella asked randomly.

Rosalie popped out of nowhere and stared at Bella with one eye brow raised. "ONG NO WAY BELLA I HATE YOU."

20 Years Later

"Bella…" Edward whispered, coming up from behind Bella.

"Edward?" Bella asked softly.

"Yes, Bella, I'm back, I'm ready to meet my vampire daughter who should in know way be able to exist because it isn't possible for the living dead to give birth." Edward said.

"Edward, you must know…" Bella began.

"What?"

"I'VE MARRIED JACOB BLACK AND I AM HAVING A LOVE AFFAIR WITH MIKE!" Bella said, covering her face with one hand, crying ultra fake tears.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Edward fell to the ground and pounded it with his fists.

"YES, IT'S TRUE MY LOVE. I'M SORRY….not." Bella said, "Ohohohohyeaaah! Guess what!?! It turns out that the vampire that turned me was a SUPER STRONG AWESOME VAMPIRE AND I AM THE GRANDDAUGHTER OF THE VOLTURIII!!!"

The same girl who claimed to be Edward's long lost wife stepped out of the shadows, "You are SOOOOOOOO not!!!! I AM! I AM JANE AND ARO'S DAUGHTER!!!"

A random new vampire girl appeared out of no where. "Ewww. EDWARD."

"O-N-G I THINK I LOVE YOU!" Edward yelled, picking himself up off the ground and slamming into the random girl.

"O-N-G I DON'T HATE YOU ANYMORE EITHER EDWARD I LOVE YOU NOW!" the anti-edward-lvoer-girl yelled.

"…That's MEAN. I AM ARO'S DAUGHTER AND I JUST GOT DISSED." The girl from Edward's past said.

"…OOOOHHHH POPCORNNNN!!!" Bella yelled, attacking Jasper who had a bowl of popcorn.

Authors Note:// Mkai. I am done. For now. –sigh- I'd have more stuff to upload (Song fics really) but it's all on my other computer which hopefully FF will let me upload stuff from //: End Authors Note