She sat at the kitchen table. Both hands wrapped around her coffee and watched Paul as he regaled her with funny stories about wolf Quil; the time he was chasing a squirrel and ran head first into a tree; nearly knocking it over with the hardness of his head. Well at least that was Paul's argument. His long legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles. He looked relaxed. This was not a Paul she had ever seen before. But then when had she ever really taken much notice of him? His reputation as a hothead preceded him; she had slapped him herself that day.

He seemed to sense she was not entirely there. He looked at her quizzically.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"I feel cheated" she blurted out.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh god that wasn't what I meant…not you… I mean… you know…HIM" she stuttered. You are pathetic. Still can't bring yourself to say HIS name.

He raised his eyebrows.

"I mean we didn't even take our clothes off and that was fantastic" she gushed "HE could have done that...I mean…he's got hands…right?"

Paul laughed. "Sure sure. But you have to know what you are doing with them. How old is this guy again?"

"108, 109…something like that. And he can read minds; it's not as if he can't see what other people do to each other." Wow you are really on a roll now. "He can see right inside people's heads; it would be like extreme sex-ed. Plus he lives with Emmett and Rosalie and they are supposed to have half demolished a house in one of their weekend romps. And don't even get me started on Alice and Jasper; I mean they can barely keep their hands off each other. Super hearing, super sense of smell. It's not like they sleep. They have all night to do whatever. He should know everything." She stumbled to a halt.

Wow – why don't you tell him what you really think?

He was just staring at her. It was probably the most words he had ever heard her say.

"What am I supposed to think; it must be me…it must be my fault… I must be the most unattractive girl...ever." Her head dropped. "He didn't even want to touch me."

Paul reached across the table and grabbed her on the wrist; he shook her just a little.

She looked up into his face.

"Believe me baby" he crooned "it's not you."

How did he do that? His voice was like a whole octave lower. Was that a sex voice?

She smiled weakly at him. "I just worry" she managed. She clutched at her coffee again.

He leant back in his chair again. "Hey, if only you could see inside the wolf pack heads; half of them are in lust with you; you are the most favourite fantasy girl; heck it's not like we haven't seen all the rez girls, if you know what I mean" he trailed off at the look on her face.

"Oh my god! I forgot about the pack mind. They'll know everything the first time you phase." She stood up so quickly the chair fell back on the floor "god I am such an IDIOT!" she was in a full blown panic attack now; her hands flailing in front of her.

Paul moved so quickly she couldn't see him. One second he was sitting at the table and the next he was holding her crushed against his chest. His hand holding the back of her head under her hair and his other arm across her back. He was crooning again; those weird comforting little noises. Said so softly and quietly she could barely hear them; but she could feel them through his chest. She started to breathe more evenly.

"Jake" she muttered "how could I forget about Jake?" she was horrified at herself.

He sighed "Honestly Bella; how many times have you told that boy you love him like a friend? And only a friend. The whole pack can see it. Emily has even tried to talk to him. You've pushed him away more times than he can count. Don't worry about the pack mind; I've been doing this longer than most of them and I can wall off some private thoughts." He smirked. "No-one wants to be in my head when it is full of crap and anger."

She felt a little better. She suddenly realised she was crushed against his chest; his naked chest. Tentatively her hand reached up and she brushed her fingertips across his back. He was so warm. Being near him makes me feel better.

"That's why you came to me? Am I right?" he pulled his head back and looked down at her "too complicated with Jake?"

He released her, righted the chair and patted the seat. A subtle instruction to sit down. She did as she was told. Like a good little girl.

She exhaled and got herself back under control. She thought about his question. Why had she come to him? She wasn't really sure; since the slap she had taken a bit more notice of him; watched him surreptitiously at the bonfires. She must have done so subtly because Jake, for one, would have noticed if she hadn't. He was so angry and in her face that day she had slapped him, but she couldn't say what had come over her then either. She had never hit anyone like that before.

"I don't know…yeah...maybe" she started. He looked at her quizzically.

"I am answering your question" she explained "you know, why you? Jake is complicated and I know he is a virgin. Plus there is your, you know, reputation." She stressed the last word.

He let out a bray of laughter. Jake had mumbled something one day about Paul's weird laugh. He stood up; puffed out his chest and flexed his biceps. She giggled.

"Paul Waggener. Sex god." He said in the sex voice. Oh god. The sex voice.

She giggled again. "Yeah right" she laughed "sit your sex god ass down before you make a fool of yourself."

He sat. He looked at her across the table. His eyes seemed to darken. "I didn't hear any complaints from you before" he leered at her and raised one eyebrow. She giggled again. Giggling. Sheesh, when was the last time you giggled?

"No" she managed "no complaints here."

He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "Excellent!" he exclaimed "so same time tomorrow?"

She inhaled sharply. Way to go with thinking this through properly Bella.

"I don't know… I don't think I really thought…"

"We'll need a cover story" he continued over the top of her "this is the rez; someone is sure to have seen you come here today. What with the subtle, bright red and incredibly noisy truck too." His head tilted and he looked at her. "Tell me you didn't park it right outside my house?" she looked stricken. REALLY didn't think this through Bella.

He continued "Maybe you could tutor me? That's it. You do well at school right? English; yeah it will have to be English, you're always reading all the time, you must get good grades in English?"

He looked at her and smiled. "You tutor me in English and I'll tutor you in the arts of love. We could work our way through all seven volumes of the Kama Sutra." Damn. There's that sex voice again. And that smile; those smiles could charm the pants off…what the hell…wait a sec…

"What the hell Paul? You're still in high school?" she squeaked at him.

He looked confused. "Bella I'm seventeen."

FF_2154210_ - 9/06/2010 05:50:00 PM