Author's Note: 'Vomit' is such a violent word.
After Goombella had 'finished up', she walked down stairs, looking a little more pale than she was already from her skin condition. She came outside and thought she saw something shoot toward Mayor Kroop's ivy garden. She brushed the feeling off and walked toward Koopie Koo.
"Exactly…when is he…going to be done?" Goombella asked. Through sheer will, she managed to keep the rest of her lunch down.
"Well, since you just barged in there without knocking, I'd say another hour or so," she replied.
"Yeah…great," the female goomba said walking away, "I think I'll…go cry myself asleep…at the inn." She slowly started making her way to the other side of town. Goombario watched her leave the area from behind the ivy garden and sighed when she disappeared. He then realized that he was standing in front of a hideous pink house.
"I guess this is the place," he said to himself. The goomba walked over to the door. Koopie Koo spotted him and tried to warn the little guy, but it was too late. He opened it and slammed it shut once he got a glimpse.
"Dag nab it! Don't you youngsters ever hear of knocking!" Kroop yelled in his elderly voice. In a similar way to Goombella, Goombario tried keep himself from throwing up all over the ground without the use of hands.
"Bathroom's upstairs," Koopie Koo said to him. He instantly ran into the stranger's home and charged up the stairs without question. At the moment he slammed the bathroom door, Goombella appeared into the area looking a little more refreshed. She walked over to the girl koopa.
"You're looking a little better," Koopie Koo commented.
"Well, there's nothing like a four second nap to calm your nerves," she replied, "And I needed it after that unspeakable horror. I swear I am never going to open a door without knocking ever again." She felt shivers down her spine as she reminisced about it.
"Oh, don't feel too bad," the koopa comforted, "There's a goomba who suffered the same fate a few seconds ago. I think he's upstairs right now."
"Really?" asked Goombella, "Maybe we ought to check if he's alright." She walked into the home and started up the stairs. Goombario, who had finished expelling his wastes through his esophagus, came out of the bathroom and saw this. He panicked and looked for a way to escape this horrid meeting. Seeing a window, he opened it and jumped out, completely forgetting that he was on the second story.
"That's weird," Goombella said to herself, "No one's here."
Meanwhile…
Kooper had just entered the area. He looked around and saw the pink house. The koopa jumped up to the door and reached his hand out to open it. Suddenly, he was tackled by a goomba with a blue hat. Goombario, after the fall, had survived since he had an exceptionally thick skull. Eventually, he gained several of his senses back and saw what was about to occur. So he tackled his friend into the ivy garden before the same unspeakable horror could happen to him.
"Trust me," Goombario shouted, "You do not want to go in there!"
"Dude, get off," he said.
"Promise me you won't go in there!" the goomba demanded.
"Uh…why?" Kooper asked.
"Just promise!" he yelled hysterically.
"Okay! Fine! I promise!" Kooper said. Suddenly two confused girls came out of the home adjacent to the one they were at.
"I guess I'll just have to ask them how to get into Hooktail's Castle," the koopa said getting up. He suddenly felt resistance on his red wristband.
"No, you will not," Goombario growled.
"And why not?" he asked, pulling his arm away from his dull teeth.
"Because, you just can't," the goomba answered. Kooper gave him a quizzical look.
"All right, fine. You see that goomba girl there?" he asked. The koopa gave a nod.
"Well, I prayed to God that I'd never tell this story to anyone, but if it'll stop you from going over there, I guess I'll have to," he said.
Flashback
Goombario stepped into a classroom. After his journey with Mario, he did a few more years of home school, and then went to college. And, of course, that college was none other than U Goom. He took a seat near the front. Although it was his first day, he was brimming with confidence from his experiences and was eager to learn. Yep, he was that sort of loser. From beside him, he heard a chair move. Goombario averted his eyes and saw a goomba girl with blonde hair, a hardhat, a red tie, and a skin condition that made her slightly paler than the rest of the species. He quickly turned away when she noticed his glance.
"Good morning class," a goomba said entering the class. He stepped with vigor, even though he was old had balding grey hair. He wore glasses which made it seem he was even older.
How is able to wear glasses when he has no ears? Goombario thought. The old goomba stared at him, as if he read his mind.
"I am Professor Frankly," he said passing his glance to the rest of the class, "Don't let my appearance fool you. I'm really quite young." Frankly started chuckling, which made the students start nervously laughing.
"Now, can anyone tell me what this is?" the professor said holding up an object. Its cap was red with white spots and had black eyes on its peachy stem. Clearly, it was a mushroom.
"You there, with the oversized zit, tell me what this is," Frankly demanded.
"Um…" the unsuspecting goomba stammered, "it's a…mushroom?"
"Of course it's a mushroom," he said aloud, "Only a moron wouldn't be able to recognize what a mushroom would look like, but tell me, what else is it? What is it behind this exterior?" The goomba hesitated.
"It's a…vegetable?" he said uncertainly. There were several laughs from that answer. He gave a dejected sigh.
"Don't feel too bad," Frankly comforted, "You came here to learn, and I came here to teach. Who am I to ask an inferior being such as you a question?" His odd method of comforting hadn't helped.
"I'll tell you what it is," he said walking around the front of the class, "This is a symbol. This mushroom is a symbol for health, vitality, growth, and, most importantly, five more seconds to fight on stage." He swallowed the shroom whole. It was quite the impossible feat, considering that it was about his size.
"Who here can relate?" the professor asked. The students started murmuring and shifting their feet.
"Oh, c'mon," he said, "I know everyone here has been in at least one battle. It's in our fibers. We're born to whack each other inconsiderately. And we learn to know how to better strategize our battle plan." He sat down on his desk.
"I need two volunteers," Frankly said aloud. Several people jumped up and down, since they couldn't raise their hands, but, instead, he chose the two goombas in front.
"You two," he said, "Up here, front and center." Goombario and Goombella awkwardly got out of their seats and went in front of the class.
"Approach each other in battle, but don't fight. Just tattle. I don't want to go through another lawsuit again," he said. Professor Frankly chuckled again, earning him a couple more uncomfortable laughs from the class.
"Remember, know your enemy," he said, "that's the key to victory."
"Okay," Goombella started, "Goombario, a typical goomba, underlings of underlings. HP: 2 and defense: 0."
"No, no, no!" the professor said, "Go more in-depth!" It was now Goombario's turn.
"Let's see," he said, "Goombella, also a goomba, which are the typical small fries. HP: 2 and defense: 0, and, um…" He struggled to make his tattle different from his so-called enemy.
"…You uh, sleep with…a stuffed unicorn." There were a couple of chuckles throughout the classroom. Goombella's mouth dropped from the fact that one of her deepest secrets were revealed to the class.
"How dare you!" Goombella shouted. Her short temper was lit.
"I was being more in-depth," he defended.
"More in-depth? Well how about this for in-depth! When you were three, you ate dirt, and you liked it!" she yelled. Her tattling abilities seemed to be, unexpectedly, as good as his.
"Well...you've always worn that ridiculous helmet since a kid in your third grade class threw up in your hair!" he said rather loudly. He was becoming rather irritated with her.
"You are so afraid of heights, when you were eight, you actually peed yourselfon a roller coaster!" she cried. He seemed to break at this remark, as it was utterly mortifying to relive that moment.
"At least I still don't wet the bed!" he hollered.
The room went silent.
"Yeah! That's right!" Goombario continued, looking at the students, "She still wets the bed. And when her parents first found out, she blamed it on the unicorn!"
"You bastard!" This was the final straw for Goombella. She charged him and engaged in an actual fight. Looks like another lawsuit for Frankly.
End Flashback
"Wait," Kooper said shaking his head, "You got beat up by a girl?" He could almost laugh.
"I-I went easy on her," Goombario stuttered.
"Oh, god, you're serious aren't you?" he said in a more shocked demeanor.
"She had a freaking helmet on!" the goomba defended, "Look, the point is that I've avoided her all my college life, and you have to avoid her too." Kooper stared at him for a moment.
"That's ridiculous," he said. The koopa went over to the girls.
"Hey there!" Kooper shouted over to them. He ran over to them much to the dismay of Goombario.
"Me and…" he looked to his side and realized that his companion wasn't there.
"I guess it's just me then," Kooper said looking around, "Well, anyway, do you girls know how I might get to Hooktail's Castle?" He shot Koopie Koo a smile, and she, in turn, blushed. Before they could answer, a faint screaming was heard up in the air. Suddenly, two koopas dropped to the ground with parachutes. The first one that landed, the screaming one, had a grey pullover jacket underneath his green shell and a bandage of unknown origin on his nose. He took off the parachute and dropped to the ground, clutching the grass affectionately.
"I am never going to leave you again!" he cried. The second koopa landed and took off his parachute. He had hairy eyebrows, a beard, and a blue shell.
"See Koops, wasn't that fun?" Koopley asked his son.
"Fun?" he repeated, "It was horrifying! You pushed me out of a plane with a backpack with no explanation whatsoever! I could've died! I know you missed out of most my childhood, but this is just too much!" They started bickering, but Kooper could only stare, gaping at the blue shelled one.
"Father?" he said aloud.
Another Note: Makes sense, does it not? Eh, I'll make something new later. Until then, INTERMISSION. I find it completely depressing that, at the end of the game, Bobbery travels the seas with a giant floating skull as a companion.