We last left off with Harry, Ron and Hermione meeting Eliana Vanoria Serenity Rose Hikaru Kash'ania Gwenevere Elizabeth Diamond Starr Merianwë Cornacoria, who is Dumbledore's granddaughter, Galadriel's granddaughter (how is that possible, you ask? I don't know either), part-veela and part-mermaid among other things. Things are about to go even more insane when two new arrivals show up. Oh, Harry. You can never escape the Sues.

Chapter 2: That Poor Spoon

The four Gryffindors jumped out of the carriage as soon as it halted. They joined the group of students walking into the Entrance Hall, glad to be indoors where it was warm. Ron was especially keen on the feast that was awaiting them. The Great Hall was lit with hundreds of floating candles, and the enchanted ceiling above showed a clear and starry sky. The staff table was already occupied by all of the teachers, none of them looking particularly happy. They had been informed in advance about the special new students arriving at Hogwarts this year, and needless to say they didn't take it very well. Snape was looking more sour than usual (a feat within itself), Hagrid looked uneasy and Professor Sprout couldn't stop the small whimper that escaped from her. Even Dumbledore's eyes seemed to twinkle less than usual.

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table next to Lavender Brown, who was busy telling her friend Parvati about a rude girl she had encountered on the train.

"And she had the nerve to call me a slut!" Lavender said huffily, "Even though she's the one who couldn't seem to contain all of her cleavage in that tiny shirt–"

Deciding that he didn't want to hear the rest of this conversation, Harry looked at Dumbledore and tried to gauge his attitude to see if he was acting differently, what with his supposed granddaughter being here and all. But, being Dumbledore, he gave away nothing that would suggest anything was amiss. He stood up, and as he did so, the entire hall went silent.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he said, sweeping his arms to either side of him, "I can imagine you are all famished. As such, we shall begin the sorting of the first years immediately."

"Is it just me, or does he seem in a bit of a hurry to get the sorting over with?" Hermione whispered to them.

"He's probably hungry like the rest of us," Ron said, not bothering to lower his voice quite as much, "Dumbledore needs to eat too."

Harry agreed with Hermione, though. There were no words of wisdom from Dumbledore this year, no speech referring to any events, not even about what had happened at the Quidditch World Cup. Of course, Dumbledore knew that there was no point in saying anything about this year, because they were all doomed anyway. But Harry didn't know that yet.

Professor McGonagall entered the Great Hall, the old Sorting Hat in her hand and the list of the first years' names in the other. She was followed by a line of young students, all with varying degrees of nervousness upon their faces.

"I don't see Eliana," Ron said. Harry squinted at the moving sea of black robes. Eliana would surely have stood out in the crowd, and she wasn't there as far as he could tell.

A terrified squeak across from him alerted Harry. He turned to see Neville look at the group of first years in fear.

"That's the scary girl from the train!" he whispered to Harry, Ron and Hermione.

He was pointing to a girl taller than the rest, who looked to be around their age. She was abnormally pale, and Harry wondered whether she wasn't a vampire. Her long, raven black hair was straight, ending in tips of crimson down to her lower back. Her eyes were stunningly silver, contrasted by the smoky black eye makeup she was wearing. Her nose was straight and thin, and her lips were small, the upper lip painted in blood red and the lower lip in smoky black. A pair of spider earrings dangled from her ears. She had a few silver eyebrow piercings, a lip ring and a nose stud (the dress code in this place was becoming slacker, Harry thought) as well as a bat wing tattoo on her chest. Her school uniform somehow managed to include a corset, black lacy fingerless gloves (her nails were painted black for good measure) and giant leather boots with numerous buckles and chains dangling from them. She was looking rather bored and was muttering under her breath.

"Don't tell me she's another transfer student!" Hermione said disbelievingly.

Professor McGonagall had unrolled the list and begun calling out the names of the first-year students. One after another, the hat would be put atop a head, sometimes mumbling for a few minutes, other times immediately yelling out a house name. They had just gotten through the W's before Ron's stomach began to grumble.

"Oh God, hurry up!" he moaned, "Let's get to the feasting already!"

Suddenly, the doors to the Great Hall opened and Professor McGonagall stopped her name-calling and looked up in alarm.

A girl strode forward, the click-click of her six-inch red heels echoing across the floor. She stopped in front of the group of first years, ignoring the stares she was getting from everyone else.

"I got lost," she said nonchalantly in an American accent, "It's hard to see in the dark, you know. You guys should really think about installing some street lamps."

"That's the girl from the train!" Lavender hissed behind Harry.

She was tall and curvaceous, a noticeable trait due to the tightness of her clothes. Her robes were untied, showing off her 'slightly' modified uniform. Her skirt was barely brushing her buttocks, showing off her bronze skin. Her shirt was unbuttoned and her very generous cleavage was on proud display. Professor McGonagall stared at the girl's outfit and her mouth was set in such a thin line that her lips were practically gone.

The girl paid no heed and flipped her long, wavy, fiery red hair over her shoulders (letting everyone see the dangling diamond earrings she wore) and let it tumble down her back. Her pouting lips were cherry colored and her almond shaped eyes were a vivid green mixed with hazel.

"This is going to be a very weird year," Neville murmured.

"Don't think it'll be too bad," Ron said dazedly. He was staring openly at the newcomer's chest, and he was far from being the only boy in the room. Even Harry caught himself staring for a while.

Professor McGonagall recovered from her initial shock and cleared her throat; she felt that she would need a tall glass of sherry once the feast was over.

"Desdemona Raven Sangria Morgana Night Von Licorice."

The mysterious black haired girl came forward and threw a dirty look at those who began to whisper behind her, effectively silencing them. She sat down on the stool and the Sorting Hat was placed on her head. Her narrow eyes swept threw the crowd and she grinned with a superior air.

"Bet I can guess what house she'll be in," Ron whispered into Harry's ear.

The hat muttered for a few moments before bursting into raucous laughter. Professor McGonagall was stunned along with many of the students. The Sorting Hat had never laughed before.

"Are you mad, girl? You call that a dark and foreboding past? I've lived for a thousand years and I can assure you that you most certainly do not have that painful of a life!" it hooted and hollered.

Harry wondered what the hat could have possibly read in this girl's mind that amused him so.

"Alright, alright… If you insist on being dark and broody, I shall put you in SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table's clapping was rather subdued as Desdemona removed the hat and flipped it off, making a few of the girls gasp and many boys chuckle. She sidled over to the table and sat next to Draco Malfoy, whom Harry was pleased to see seemed quite disturbed by her already.

Professor McGonagall continued calling out names and sorting the first years one by one, until finally the tall redheaded girl was left.

"Zenith, Tasha!"

The girl catwalked to the stool, sat down and crossed her legs, letting the front row of students see what color undergarments she was wearing for a brief moment. Some of the boys had to bury their suddenly bleeding noses into their napkins.

Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on her head and the Great Hall waited with collective baited breath. It seemed to squirm uncomfortably on top of Tasha's head before finally shouting, "RAVENCLAW! Now please get me off this girl's head before I combust with shame! The images! Goodness!"

The Ravenclaw table applauded, the boys quite a bit more enthusiastically than the girls. Tasha sashayed over and sat down next to Roger Davies who was positively grinning from ear to ear.

"Something is not quite right here," Hermione muttered, eyeing the new arrivals warily.

The sorting was not yet over. A side door near the staff table opened wide, making many students whip their heads around. A familiar girl slowly walked out, gazing at the crowd a little nervously.

"It's Eliana!" Ron whispered.

Harry glanced at Dumbledore to see him watching her impassively. Eliana made her way over to the stool and sat down. Many of the boys sighed dreamily as she gracefully folded her dainty hands on her lap. Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on her head.

It grumbled for a long while, and Eliana was beginning to chew nervously on her lower lip. Ron was about to groan when the hat finally spoke.

"I cannot choose a house for this girl. She possesses great loyalty and a pure heart as well as great courage. She shall be in both HUFFLEPUFF AND GRYFFINDOR!"

There was a sudden rise of murmuring among the students. Quite a few were craning their necks to get a better look at Eliana. Professor McGonagall removed the hat from her head and asked her which table she would like to sit at. She looked around her and spotted Harry, Ron and Hermione gaping at her like fish. As she made her way towards them, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas immediately slid aside to give her room. Lavender and Parvati leaned over and began complimenting her on her hair. Eliana smiled brightly at all of them and spoke happily to each one.

"How is this possible?" Hermione mouthed to Harry, who merely shrugged.

Dumbledore stood up once more and the Great Hall became quiet, save for a few whispers. "I am sure that you have many questions pertaining to some of our new students," he said, and many nodded or looked at him expectantly. "I must confess that it is quite an unexpected turn of events for even myself. I would firstly like to introduce Eliana Vanoria Serenity Rose Hikaru Kash'ania Gwenevere Elizabeth Diamond Starr Merianwë Cornacoria, who has been sorted into two houses."

All eyes turned to Eliana, who blushed as her eyes turned fuchsia with embarrassment. Seamus and Dean sighed dreamily.

"She is the Princess of the Stars ("What does that mean?" many students whispered to each other) as well as being royalty in several other kingdoms and she is my… my granddaughter."

So it was true, Harry thought. Why had Dumbledore never mentioned her before? He noticed the old wizard's slight hesitation at her introduction. The whispering broke out around him again as everyone wondered the same thing.

"She has come to fulfill a prophecy to save the queen of the unicorns in the Forbidden Forest," he continued. Behind him, Professor McGonagall suppressed a derisive snort and Snape closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I trust that all staff and students will therefore not report her if they see her go into the Forest alone. She will be in there for a reason. Everyone else is naturally forbidden to enter."

Eliana lifted her head high at her grandfather's words and looked at him with determination. Her silky blond hair blew dramatically behind her, despite there being no wind in the Great Hall.

"Miss Von Licorice has come to Hogwarts from Durmstrang, after deciding that several painful and very dark incidents in her life meant that she needed to change schools and lead a new existence."

Desdemona flipped her hair so that it covered one side of her face and made her seem more tortured than before. She flipped the finger to anyone who stared at her for too long. Malfoy was slowly inching as far away from her as possible.

"Miss Zenith is a transfer student from America, who came here after her parents took up a job offer in London. She comes from a very wealthy and powerful wizarding family."

Tasha Zenith tapped her perfectly manicured nails impatiently against the table. The Ravenclaw boys were still not done ogling her and the girls were looking less than happy at having her in their house. Harry noticed that Cho Chang was positively glowering.

"I trust that you will make our new students as well as the first years comfortable," Dumbledore finished, "And now, let the feast begin!"

Plates of food magically appeared at each table and everyone eagerly dug in. Ron took a bit from each dish and soon had a miniature hill in front of him. Harry helped himself to the delicious baked potatoes the house elves made so well. Hermione did not seem particularly hungry and was poking the few vegetables on her plate, deep in thought.

"Oh, I'm so glad to be in Gryffindor!" Eliana declared. She ate her food very delicately and held her fork with her pinky finger up (the same went for her knife, and when she was holding her goblet). "Just like Grandfather!"

"We didn't know you were related to Dumbledore!" Seamus said on her left.

"Yeah, it's not like he really talks about his family," Dean added on her right.

"It's for my safety," Eliana replied, nodding, "The Kingdom of the Stars has many enemies. The Death Eaters would target me just for being Dumbledore's granddaughter."

"I can't believe you got sorted into two houses," Ron said after having the decency to swallow a mouthful of roast beef, "Hufflepuffs are sort of push-overs, but they're a nice lot."

Eliana glanced at the Hufflepuff table. All of a sudden, her eyes rested upon a muscular boy, with a chiseled face, a neat wave of brown hair and a lovely pair of grey eyes.

"Who is that?" she asked in a hushed voice. Her long fingers rested atop her breast just above her pounding heartbeat. Harry noticed that her eyes had turned cotton candy pink. He turned to see who she could be looking at, but it was difficult to tell in the crowd of Hufflepuffs.

Ron frowned, his cheeks filled with mashed potatoes. "Who e'actly are you roohing a'?"

"The boy with hair of chocolate and eyes of sterling silver," Eliana said breathlessly, still transfixed.

Harry wasn't sure who in Hogwarts could possibly fit that description, but noticed the only brown-haired, grey-eyed boy he knew in Hufflepuff. It was no surprise that Eliana had noticed him; most girls did.

"That's Cedric Diggory," he told her, "He's a sixth year and he's the captain and Seeker for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team."

"We travelled to the World Cup with him and his dad," Ron supplied after swallowing his food.

Eliana eyed the handsome boy and couldn't help the blush that rose to her cheeks. He was talking merrily to his friends sitting all around him. She felt something stir in her that she had never felt before… What was this strange yet beautiful feeling, glowing within her like a star?

While Eliana was busy sighing over Cedric, Harry glanced curiously over at the Ravenclaw table. Tasha Zenith was pointedly ignoring the many boys who were attempting to strike up a conversation with her.

"God, you guys are NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR ME! How many times do I have to say it?" she yelled at them. The angry flush that invaded her cheeks as well as her heaving bosom did nothing but make the boys sigh with more longing.

"I guess it's not your fault. You're kind of stuck with some pretty average-looking girls and fugs around here." Tasha inspected her nails before pushing her plate away roughly. "I only eat vegan food!" she said indignantly.

Harry made a mental note never to cross this girl; she seemed much too high maintenance and what with his already sub-par skill with girls, it was a good idea not to get on Tasha's bad side. Even if it meant he couldn't ogle her magnificent cleavage… Give the poor boy a break. Everyone's a giant ball of hormones when they're fourteen. That doesn't mean he fancies her or anything.

Harry glanced over at the Slytherin table; Desdemona was alternating between eating with a haughty air and brooding, as if she was trying to decide whether to look superior or tortured at the dinner table. Malfoy had his head turned in the complete opposite direction and was engaging in very deep conversation with Pansy Parkinson, trying very hard to ignore the odd and slightly scary girl next to him.

His eyes turned back towards Tasha out of curiosity. She had thoroughly forgotten the Ravenclaw boys trying to get her attention and was busy lasciviously sucking on her spoon and giving it little licks, all the while making doe eyes towards the staff table. Wondering who on Earth she could be doing that to, Harry followed her gaze and practically choked on his pumpkin juice. Severus Snape was on the receiving end of her seduction, and he was looking far from pleased. Harry was baffled that anyone could consider that slimy-haired git attractive. Ron seemed to share his thoughts, for he soon asked in a tone that showed he was clearly disturbed, "Did that Zenith girl just do… that… to Snape?"

"Yes," Harry replied flatly.

Ron made a horrified face. "What's wrong with her?"

"I get the feeling this year will be very interesting," Hermione said with a grim smile.

The feasted ended soon after and the Great Hall's noise dwindled to many satisfied murmurs and yawns. Dumbledore stood up once more. "Now that we have satisfied our hunger, I'm sure you must all be ready for bed. Prefects, please escort your houses to the dormitories. Have a good night and welcome back to Hogwarts!"

"Sounds like a good idea to me!" Ron said, stretching, "Let's go."

"I'll come along!" Eliana piped up. She skipped forward and wound her arm around Ron's, smiling brightly at him. Ron's face turned as red as his hair, but he was too flustered to say anything and walked with her to the grand staircase, Hermione rolling her eyes behind them. They followed the rest of the Gryffindors to their dormitory. They could hear Desdemona tell all of the Slytherins as they walked to the dungeons that she 'would personally fuck over anyone who woke her up in the middle of the night'.

On their way to Gryffindor Tower, Eliana couldn't contain her gasps and squeals as she saw the moving staircases. The many portraits they passed by on their way complimented her on her beauty, and she thanked each of them with a tinkling laugh. Harry was beginning to wonder whether one could lose their hearing from prolonged exposure to such high-pitched noise when they finally arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Oh my!" Eliana's hand flew to her rosebud of a mouth, "What an unfortunate woman! There must be some way one can lose a few pounds in a painting! She would look absolutely stunning afterwards!"

The Fat Lady raised an eyebrow at her, but swung forward after the password was recited. Harry, Ron and Hermione hurriedly ushered Eliana in before she could put her foot deeper into her mouth. She was very pleased at the appearance of the common room.

"Oh, it looks so cushy and lush!" she exclaimed with a clap of her hands.

"You'll get to spend loads of time here doing homework," Ron said, "Well, er… good night."

"Good night, Ron!" She kissed him on the cheek, sending him into a wide grin. She moved to Harry and kissed him as well. "Oh, I must simply kiss all of you!"

Harry stood there watching her peck one of the cheeks of every single boy there (most of the girls had hurriedly excused themselves and rushed off to their dormitories).

"Well then, I'll see you two tomorrow," Hermione said before going up the staircase.

Eliana darted after her. "Oh, I can't wait to see my room! Grandfather told me that I would have my own private suite! Somehow, it seemed to magically appear just before my arrival at Hogwarts!"

Hermione froze on the stairs, but was quickly dragged off by her elbow to see this new supposed suite.

"Here it is!" Eliana threw open a set of double doors which had never been there before, next to Hermione's shared room. Her jaw dropped as she took in the brightly painted pink walls and the king-sized four-poster bed with purple sheets that had silk curtains hanging on all sides. There was a large sofa in front of a giant mirror, which Eliana explained was used to catch up on her latest shows. The side room on the left led to a private bathroom, which included a built-in Jacuzzi with scented candles.

Eliana threw her golden curls behind her back and smiled. "This is perfect!"

"I… I need to lie down," Hermione said faintly. She staggered out of the suite without so much as a 'good night' and managed to make it to her room before she fell on her bed without even taking off her shoes.

So now there's a Sparklypoo, a Bitchiwitch and a Tootsitramp loose in Hogwarts. There has been a multiple house sorting, a private suite, and already lusting after Snape. Apologies to Snape fans, but I don't think Harry would look upon a girl (especially a girl his age) finding his most despised teacher attractive. And let's face it, poor Snape has an entire country of Sues lusting after him. Next up, first day of classes!