Don't you see me on my hands and knees?
Begging and bleeding
You smile as you bite the hand that feeds
That way you'll not forsee
Always watching what your eyes can't see
Feeling what your arms can't reach
Thinking you are in need
Always hearing what your ears can't hear
Feeling what your arms can't touch
Thinking you are incomplete
It was never enough that I gave you
All of the horror you've put me through
But I cannot make up my mind this time
This is where I will draw the line
I'm sorry Kathryn. I lost hope for you, for me, for . . . us. I know how you feared that High Command wouldn't be able to trust your judgement about the Maquis if we were involved when we arrived home, and if we had been taken to court like we hoped we wouldn't when we arrived home, then you probably would've been court martialed and stripped of your rank, position and job alongside the rest of us.
That's why I never pushed you. When you told me of your past, I knew that Starfleet was very much a part of you, and by taking away that part of you that was Starfleet, it just wouldn't be right. The Captain was as much a part of you as Kathryn was, and your ability to go from one to the other in a matter of seconds always amazed me. I loved seeing how you only seemed to trust me with the part of that was the woman and not the Captain, and I loved her as much as I loved the Captain.
I loved to spend my time with you Kathryn. All those other women, they never meant anything to me. They were just someone I could sleep with when the need for a warm body in my bed became too great for me to handle on my own, and screamed to be satisfied.
I don't know what all those other men meant to you Kathryn, and I doubt that I will ever find out now, after what I've done to you. But I know that under that strong, unbreakable outer shell everyone calls the Captain, you are human, and you yearned for love too.
Sometimes, I wonder what I meant to you. Did you really think that there could be a future for us once we returned home? Would it have happened had it not been for Seven? Did you know that she paled in comparison to you, that she could fill the void left behind by you?