Chapter 2: Return

He took my hands in his and kissed them both. "Love, she's waiting for you in the car. Whenever you are ready to come back I'll be here. I'll always be here. I'll wait forever."

I gave him one last kiss and tore myself away before I was unable to. I kept my head down, tears flowing freely, as I dashed through the house hoping to avoid curious eyes. I flung myself into the passenger seat of the Jeep next to Alice and she pulled away.

It was a 2 hour drive in vampire driving speed to the airport in Juno and we spent the majority of the trip in silence. I eventually stopped crying. The further we drove from the Cullen house, the more weight seemed to be lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't feeling better about my decision, it was a gradual numbing of my senses. It wasn't the same feeling of loss I experienced when Edward left me and I attributed that to the fact that there was no permanence in me walking away. It was pacifying me for the moment so I'm going with it. I wasn't being crushed in the darkness in his absence which I hadn't expected. It both felt liberating and frightening.

We passed a sign that read 30 miles to the airport and Alice finally broke the silence, "I've been sitting here trying to figure out what to say to you. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. You already know what you're going to do, you just need to admit it to yourself. Don't let breaking his heart or feeling like we'll hate you have an effect on your decision. You'll always be my sister."

I just nodded my head in response. I hated that she already knew what I was going to do. I hadn't made a definite decision had I?

"Why don't you call Charlie? Tell him to pick you up in Port Angeles at 7 pm tonight. It'll work out well, he wanted to have an excuse to leave work early today anyway." She said.

I quietly began, "Thank you for this Alice. Thank you for understanding and not lecturing me. I just..."

Alice interjected, "Oh I"m not saying I understand it, not entirely anyway. I don't remember what it was like being human, so the whole things seems a bit odd to me. But you're my sister, if something is eating you up inside, clearly something needs to change." She handed me her cell phone already dialing Charlie's number. I told him when my flight would be getting in and he promised to be there. I was thankful he wasn't going to be sending any of the Quileute boys to get me, I wasn't in the mood to deal with that yet.

Too quickly we were parked off to the side of the road in front of the airport. I took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. Alice was already standing there in front of me with two large bags and my ticket information clutched in her hands. She set them down and enveloped me in a hug. I hugged her back and couldn't help but feel like this was goodbye. It hadn't felt like it with Edward.

I pulled back and we just looked at each other. I picked up my bags and walked into the airport feeling as if I had both lost and gained something. I didn't know how to begin to make sense of that.

The plane ride was a blur to me. I kept trying to pinpoint in my head why exactly I didn't want to be changed. I loved Edward, I didn't doubt that. Lord knows I love that boy. The thought of his crooked smile and golden eyes staring at me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world made my heart skip a beat. So I could check that off the list. It wasn't Edward. Well... it wasn't loving Edward. Did I love him more than anything else? I had chosen him over Jacob, even though it crushed us both. That hadn't been an easy choice but I made it. Did I love him more than my humanity? I was getting hung up on that question. I never felt the desire to have children, so unlike Rosalie, I wouldn't be missing out on anything there. Eh, I could give or take college. It's not like I wouldn't have the chance to go back and experience it in a few years. I'd be fine if I never had grey hair. Nope, growing old isn't it.

The Captain came on overhead asking us to fasten our seatbelts as we were approaching our final destination. I snapped out of my internal conversation and began to focus on what I'd tell Charlie. What would he think? I just hoping he wouldn't think I was doing to Edward what Rene had done to him.

He met me outside of my terminal with a smile. He took my bags and loaded them into the back of the cruiser. I felt a sense of deja vu. The last time I was on my back to Forks from the airport in this cruiser big things happened and it changed my life. I can't help but wonder what could possibly happen this time. Maybe I'll wake up from this dream and find out there are no such things as vampires and werewolves. Silly Bella...

Charlie and I actually had a conversation the majority of the way back to Forks. He typically isn't a man of many words but the time we spent together before I moved to Alaska seemed to have open some doors in our relationship. The conversation was centered around the upcoming Seahawks game and the devastating loss the Patriot's had last week to the Jets. I smiled inwardly that I could actually contribute. Apparently I'm not as adverse to sports as I had previously thought. The atmosphere of a stadium can certainly make the game seem more interesting. I was even excited at the idea that Billy and Jake wanted to come over on Sunday to watch the game with Charlie and I. I began putting together a grocery list in my head. I'm sure Charlie hasn't been in two weeks and Jake can sure eat.

In no time at all we pulled up to the house. I smiled, I felt like I was home. Charlie took my bags up to my old room, completely untouched since I had left, and left me to my thoughts. I noticed the pizza box on the kitchen table and didn't feel guilty about not making dinner. There was always tomorrow for that anyway.

I waited all day for the weight of what I had just done to come crashing down on me. I walked out on my husband today. This is something Rene does, not me. I must be going crazy. It was still early, only 9:00 but I was tired. Emotionally drained I suppose. I got ready for bed and crawled under the covers. I kept waiting for the panic attack to happen, for the tears to start to fall. I didn't expect to fall asleep so easily. I hadn't fallen asleep without Edward's cool arms around me in two months. For the first time in a long time I craved warmth. I expected to wake up screaming in the middle of the night. The screams never came, neither did the dreams. I had a great night's sleep.

A/N: Yes I know it's short. I'm still trying to just get the story to where I actually want to write it. We're getting closer. If it was too rushed please tell me, I'll gladly fix it. Hopefully I haven't scared you away yet. I actually might upload something else tonight.