Chapter Two: Thom And Therry

May 1st

11:37 a.m.

"Behl, buddy, compadre, kemosabe, it's startin' to smell like the backside of a sick donkey in here. You been hidin' leftovers under your mattress again or do I need to have another chat with the chef about your dietary requirements?"

A grizzled man looked up from where he was peering intently at the underside of his bed, and scowled toothlessly. "Thop yewr grihmmim en behrimg yewr ath owber hehr, ya schnowt. Iths haffimd agaim."

Murdock pulled himself away from where he was leaning in the doorway and sauntered into the room, hands deep in his pockets, watching the man intently. "C'mon, Behl, what's wrong with my grinnin'?"

"Yewr fath lewts likhe tha thouthboumd ehmd of a northboumd Dhobermahn, thath's whaths wromg with iht."

"Y'know, you keep laying on the flattery and I'm gonna ask the doc to move me to the other end of the wing."

The older man shoved a mop of unruly yellowed hair out of his face as he bent back down to continue his inspection.

Murdock shoved aside a jumble of blankets, climbed onto the bed, pulled off his cap, and grabbed the edge of the mattress for support as he swung his head and shoulders over the side to take a gander at what the man was looking at so intently.

"So, what're we hunting for today? Wabbits? If they serve steamed veggies at lunch I'll save my carrots for ya."

The old man steadfastly ignored him. "Thay've behn clawimg uhnder tha behd agaim."

"Again? Did ya try puttin' a circle of salt around the bed like I told ya? I heard once that they're not too big on salt."

"Ah thimk tha lil bathtards lihke tha schtuffth. Dothem't theem ta do ah dahmed thimg."

Righting himself on the bed, Murdock glanced up at a corner of the ceiling and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You sure it's monsters? Seems to me that I was just talking to someone about it this mornin', and they told me the whole wing had just been fumigated. You ever smell the stuff they use for that? I can't think of any monster that can stand more than a whiff of it."

Behl eyed him suspiciously. "Fhumighated?"

"Yup, did the whole wing on Tuesday while we were feasting on mashed potatoes and jello. You can ask Thompson when he gets on shift tonight, he'll tell ya the same thing."

"Huh. Didm't know thehy couldth do thath."

"You hadn't heard? Modern technology. There's this guy in Russia that came up with some new chemical formula. Y'know, you ain't seen nothin' til' you've seen a RUSSIAN monster, those things get half-again the size of the one's we've got over here. Mean suckers, too."

"Ahl beh dahmed." He scratched at his scalp, dislodging several large flakes of dandruff. "Mehbeh ith wath mithe."

"Well, mice are better than monsters. There's even some nice mice. Mickey Mouse, Mighty Mouse..."

"Thereth thath mouthe frohm Thom an Therry." His brow wrinkled even further. "Cahn'th nebther rehmehmber whith ome ith whith."

Murdock's grin widened. "Tom's the cat and Jerry's the mouse. Just think of 'Tomcat' and it'll stick just fine."

"Huh." He glanced at the empty doorway and then fastened his eyes on Murdock again. "Ah wath thure ith wath monthterth. Theh thaid thith mormim thath tha lighths wehnt outh agaim latht might."

Shoulders slumping slightly, Murdock put out a hand to help the man up from the floor. "C'mon now, would your ol' buddy Murdock let anythin' happen to ya?" His free hand gestured at the far wall. "I'm right next door."

"Ith noth lihke ya cahn geht overh here."

Murdock winked. "Don't you worry, I've got me a friend I've leaned a few tricks from." He squared his shoulders proudly. "I may not be a champion cat-burglar, but I've picked a lock a time or two. Be careful, you might get out of bed one night to answer the call of nature and come back to find I've short-changed your sheets."

Behl made a weak attempt at a smile. "Thmahrt ath."

"Besides, I think I've found a way to solve the problem with the lights. Ever heard of Ness?"

"Neth?"

A twinkle in his eye, Murdock flung an arm across the old man's shoulders. "Don't tell me you've never heard of Ness! Let's take a walk and I'll tell you ALL about her."

Author's Notes:

A new character, a little development, a peek into the exciting world of V.A. life. Really, what is there to do when you're stuck in an institution other than finger paint and try to keep your fellow crazies from going completely off the deep end?

If all goes as planned, the next installment should see a touch of trouble and possibly even a threat of bodily harm.

On a side-note, if I'd realized ahead of time what a pain in the ass typing Behl's dialogue was going to be, I'd have given the old fart some teeth. Let me know if you get tired of sounding out what he's saying and want me to post a translation.