Now she knew better, she was able to see clearer now that she'd been foolish and now knew that she had been too trusting. She was angry at herself but she was too involved with Lexa, she was the only one who really understood wars, who understood what sacrifices had to be made, the politics of it all and most importantly the way a leader must present themselves to the people; the key was to always remain strong. Lexa had taught her a lot despite it all and Clarke knew she owed her a lot.
She admired her and she at present understood why she had feeling for her. On one hand she really cared about her but on the other knew that Lexa could never be trusted, she would always choose her people before herself or the Sky people. After Mount Weather she would only do the same over and over again.
With time a relationship could have happened and in time of peace they could maybe begin to trust and understand each other again but right now Clarke needed to heal.
Once she had finished burying the dead at Mount Weather she still had a duty to her people. She decided she would go to Polis and see what peace truly meant to the Grounders. After having killed everyone in Mount Weather, she hoped that going there would help her heal.
After all blood must have blood and the Grounders must respect what she had done even if she feels disgusted with herself.
As she laid some flowers on children's graves before finally reaching Maya's; they'd both never seen eye to eye but she had helped her friends and Jasper did care about her. She sighed and was about to place a flower on the freshly dug grave when she heard some noises.
She turned to the source of the noise and was surprised but at the same time anxious. Out of the clearing came Octavia, Lincoln, Jasper, Monty, Kane and Bellamy. The latter was the first to notice her and after ended up being the first to speak.
"We didn't know you would be here. We were coming to bury the dead." He paused and he watched her carefully. "Octavia told me about Tondc and I didn't want to have to see you this soon."
After all they had to endure she understood that some people of the Arc would resent her; she understood why Jasper would be angry because of Maya even if there had been no other choice; she understood Octavia being bitter since she was still a little naïve and Clarke wanted to protect her as long as possible from the harsh reality of war. But Bellamy was the one who knew what sacrifices needed to be made to win a war. His resentment made her snap.
"So we should have evacuated the town so that the people in Mount Weather would know that we had someone inside even if that meant that all the Grounders, all our friends and even you would have died, is that what you're telling me?"
"It's so easy to decide who dies or lives when you're a leader, you really are like the people of the Arc." spat Octavia. She'd crossed a line even Lincoln and Bellamy knew that.
"Octavia, I really hope that you never have to take these sorts of decisions, but I can tell you it's never easy. You can ask Bellamy, Kane and even Lincoln since Grounders have to take these decisions a lot, the decisions we took in war or for protecting people will always feel heavy and we have to fight the guilt. The nightmare continues every day but at the end of it knowing our people are safe allows us to keep going. It's not a fairy-tale, there are not good or bad guys, there are just people who try to live another day."